


Green-Eyed Monsters

by Zandra_Court



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Graphic Depiction of Violence in Chapter 26, M/M, Power Exchange Dynamics, Rape/Non-Con in Chapter 10
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:53:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 46
Words: 136,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28819560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zandra_Court/pseuds/Zandra_Court
Summary: Each chapter will feature a new scene from a moment/episode where Steve or Danny demonstrated (or it could be implied) they are feeling jealousy in regard to the other. Each chapter will set the episode number and moment that inspired the fic.Rating is not for every chapter and if archive warnings apply, they will be noted in the tags for those specific chapters.I have no idea how many chapters this might be, but will conclude with the end of Season 7, as that is when I stopped watching the show because once Chin and Kono were gone, the Ohana was too broken for me.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 282
Kudos: 229





	1. S1: E3: Malama Ka Aina (Respect The Land)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Kono and Danny make out to distract the Baddie of the Week from killing an undercover officer and Steve takes issue._

It was 0030 before Steve pulled the Camaro into his driveway. Danny had picked him up that morning, so Steve was basically dropping himself off. He killed the engine and Danny looked over, with a yawn.

“You turned the car off.” Danny observed as he shook his head, like he was trying to wake himself up.

“Yeah. Would you mind coming in for a sec?”

“Uh, I guess. Is somethin’ going on?”

“I just want to talk to you about something?”

Danny’s brow squinted a bit. “Can’t we just talk here? I don’t under...”

“I don’t wanna talk in the car, Danny. Tonight was long and...and...I’d like a drink. Will you come in or not?”

“Yeah, sure. Why’re you pissed off all of a sudden?” Danny opened his door and stepped out, looking over the top at Steve.

With more calm than he was feeling, Steve said, “I’m not. Sorry. Been a long day and it got rough there at the end...”

He unlocked his front door and headed for the kitchen. Danny closed and locked it behind him; cop habit.

“You want a beer or something?” Steve hollered from the kitchen.

“Uh, I don’t...” Danny came in and leaned against a counter, “I’m gonna have to drive in a bit and I’m already kinda tired so probably shouldn’t.”

Steve glanced at his watch, remembering how late it was. “Oh, yeah. Well, if you want a beer, you’re welcome to stay over. I told Chin and Kono to not bother coming in until noon tomorrow. Russo’s not gonna be arraigned until the afternoon, so we can sleep in a bit.

He could see the furrowed look on his partner’s face and found himself holding his breath. Danny’s bow tie was un-knotted and hanging down, the top two buttons undone from where Kono had pulled on his shirt earlier. His hair was tussled too, completing this sexy, late-night vibe that had been distracting Steve since they’d stopped the near execution of Chin’s cousin earlier.

“All...uh...I only got my tux with me.” Danny protested lightly.

 _That wasn’t a no._ Steve thought and he popped the cap on the Longboard he’d pulled out and handed it to Danny.

“Have a drink with me, pal. I have some board shorts and a t-shirt you can sleep in and wear home in the morning. It’s all good.”

Danny took a swig of the beer, letting the cool liquid fizz down his throat, enjoying the tingle of hops on his tongue. His brain was still feeling like it was on the fritz; as though there was something happening that he wasn’t understanding. Maybe Steve needed to decompress after what happened tonight? They’d done a quick team debrief before they went home tonight and would do a more thorough one tomorrow. Their task force was still figuring out how to work together, so maybe Steve wanted to have a chance to address something he’d done without the other two around?

Danny pulled a chair out from the table and sat. “What’d you want to talk to me about?”

Steve pulled his own tie loose and unbuttoned his collar before sitting down. He seldom wore a tux because if he needed to dress formally, he usually wore his dress uniform, which was more comfortable than this meat suit. He took a long swig of his beer, eyes fixated on Danny.

“That little distraction move you and Kono did tonight? Where did that come from? When I left you, I told you to go get Kono but I wasn’t expecting you two to crash in like you did.”

Shifting forward, resting his arms on the table he said, “Well, uh...we were going to have her walk over to ask if anyone needed drinks, but we could tell Russo was about to pop Tuinei and we had to create a bigger distraction. So I told her to act drunk and follow my lead.”

“Without clearing that with me? Danny, Kono is the only female on the task force. You need to think of her like your sister...as in...as in... untouchable. Hands off.”

“First of all, she’s not my sister, so I will not think of her like that. She is my co-worker and I’ve never treated her as anything less. When you’re undercover, sometimes you have to do things...”

“No, Danny. We plan the op and then adjust, but you can’t use a hitch in the plan to get your Mack Daddy points.”

Danny’s eyebrows shot up at that. “My Mack Daddy...? What the hell are you even talking about?”

“I saw how you looked at her when you first met. All of us could. Chin had to warn you to step back.”

“OK, you need to stop and listen to me. I’ve been a cop for...for as long as you’ve been a GI-Joe-Super-Seal whatever, OK? That means this was not my first time undercover. What’s more, I understand police work better than you do, so if you want to ask me about what went down, fine, we can talk about that. But you don’t get to accuse me of crossing a line I didn’t cross. And if you don’t believe me, ask Kono.”

“She’s barely out of academy Danny! You’re her senior officer. Of course she’s gonna do whatever you tell her!”

“Fine, this is what I told her. I found her at the bar cart and told her Tuinei was in trouble. He’s her family too you know. When we realized what was going down, I told her we could crash like a drunk hookup looking for privacy. She agreed and I asked if she’d had to do this before and she said she hadn’t. So, I told her the parameters that I’d been taught. If you need to kiss or make out, limit your mouth to the face and head above the collar bone. Touching is necessary, but your hands should only touch the belly, back and arms. Generally, I also explain that I will try to keep myself from getting aroused, but if I fail, to not take it personally. But this happened so fast, I wasn’t expecting that to be an issue and didn’t add that last part.”

“You had your tongue in her mouth, Danny! Where is that in the undercover handbook, huh? That’s why it’s harassment.”

“Hold-up! For the umpteenth time, I did _not_ sexually harass her. I checked with her after and she assured me she was fine. We were kissing for less than 15 or 30 seconds, so how could you possibly know if there was tongue?”

“Because I have eyes! Eyes that also saw your ‘so brief it’s nothing, but I had time to slip her some tongue’ ended with you sporting some pretty obvious arousal too.”

Danny felt annoyed at the questioning and betrayed by the flush he knew was creeping up the back of his neck, burning his ears.

“Yes, OK. Yes, I got hard. But that was because I had to talk her through how we should touch each other, so I was getting there before we even started. As for...I kiss how I kiss, alright? I don’t analyze it. The cover needed us to make out so we made out.

“Look, Steve, being undercover is different from what you’ve been trained to do. Sometimes, the op goes sideways and you have to think quick. Could we have come up with something else? Maybe. I don’t know. But what I did come up with worked. Kono and I were able to distract everyone enough for Chin to get the high ground and what’s more important is that a cop didn’t die tonight! Fuck, if it meant saving someone’s life, I’d even kiss you, so Back. The. Hell. Off.”

They were staring hard at one another when Danny saw it. The tiny tip of his partner’s tongue as he licked his lips, the wide pupils...

“This isn’t you being overprotective of Kono is it?”

Steve rocked back. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Uh-huh.” Danny pushed his chair back slightly and stood. “Well, Commander, could you do it? Huh?” As he walked slowly to the other side of the table, he shook off his jacket, and unbuttoned his cuffs.

“In all your SEAL training, with your ‘enhanced interrogation’ techniques, I bet none of you ever had to push into the vices that we cops deal with every day. Solicitation. Larceny. Drugs. Sex.” He was now unbuttoning his dress shirt as he sat on the edge of the table, one leg bent on the top so his foot dangled lightly in the space between Steve’s legs.

“I’m not afraid do go anywhere the op takes us.” Steve answered, but gave a hard swallow causing his Adam’s apple to bounce.

Danny slid the tip of his polished black shoe along the inside of Steve’s thigh and then settled it gently, and snuggly, under the fabric at his crotch.

“It’s not about bravery. It’s about surrender. You can’t give into all the voices screaming in your brain telling you to stop, that it’s wrong, that you...shouldn’t.” Danny applied gentle pressure against Steve’s balls while he slowly took off his shirt and undid his buckle and pulled the zipper of his fly low.

Steve was very still but his eyes...they were taking in everything at once: thick chest covered in soft blond hair, nipples hardening, and the shadow of space at the top of Danny’s boxers from where his very obvious erection was gapping his waistband. It wasn’t until his partner trailed feather-light fingers across his own abdomen that Steve looked away, stood up, and took several steps back.

Danny tilted his head, but stayed where he was as his expression became serious. “I’m serious about this Steve. If we’re going to go undercover together, I need to trust that you can handle whatever might come.”

With distance, Steve regained his bearing and gave Danny a hard look. “You’re doubting me? When have I ever not had your back.”

“This isn’t about you having my back, the team’s back, when we need your firepower or ninja skills. This is knowing you can step into whatever role you need to fill. What if Kono hadn’t been on the op? What if she’d been in the van? Could you have done what we did tonight?”

Steve swallowed again. “What? With you?”

Danny rested his forearm on his bent leg, his fingers tips resting on the waistband of his boxers. “Yeah.”

“Danny, I don’t think we’re apt to have to...”

“And that is where you’re totally wrong, Steve. Our jobs are going to bring us up close and personal with all kinds of people.” Danny stood, closed his fly and crossed his arms; his posture strong and confident as he continued.

“What do you think would’ve happened if Kono and I’d stormed in on that scene, weapon’s drawn? Huh? Tuinei was bound and beaten and in the crossfire. As it was, he would’ve bought it if hadn’t been for Chin getting the drop. Kono and I disrupted what was happening, pulling their focus in a way that was unexpected and gave us all half a chance. I’d do it again and I am 100% certain that if you ask Kono, she’d say the same thing. The things I’ve had to do to maintain my cover...well, sometimes they weren’t pretty. Other times, times like tonight, well, I take the pleasure with the pain. Can you?”

“Are you daring me to kiss you?” Steve felt like he was standing in the door of a B16, ready to jump but realizing he’d never checked his ‘chute.

Danny took deliberate, steady strides towards him stopping inches away. “No one else is here; no one to judge you. If you can’t do it here; you sure as hell can’t do it out there.”

Steve licked his lips again. “You, uh, wanna run those parameters by me again?”

Danny reached out in demonstration, “Hands can touch arms....” He ran his fingers down Steve’s arms from shoulder to wrist.

“Belly...” he flattened both palms on Steve’s abdomen at his waistband and stroked upwards, stopping just as his pectorals began to curve up.

“And back” Danny’s hands smoothed around to the middle of Steve’s back and then down to just above his ass and then pulled Steve’s body hard against his.

“Mouths,” he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his partner’s neck where his shirt collar hung open, “stay above the collarbone.” Danny kissed and licked up Steve’s jawline to below his ear and then leaned back, blue eyes meeting.

“You say you have my back? Prove it.”

With the intention and purpose of a man whose integrity has been challenged, Steve cupped his hands around Danny’s jaw and drew their lips together with heat and passion, Danny’s tongue sliding inside, stroking his own.

Danny kept his hand firm at Steve’s hips, holding him close, feeling Steve’s cock thicken as he continued to respond to the kiss with equal fervor and intensity. Steve thrust his hips instinctively, feeling himself drag along Danny’s length when strong hands pushed his hips backwards, kiss broken, leaving Danny disoriented.

“What’re you...”

Steve took several strides past Danny in the kitchen, his arms shaking down to his fingertips as he fought to regain control of himself. _Fuck_ he thought.

“My point here,” Steve stammered, “uh...the reason I wanted to talk to you...It’s not that you or me, or any of team can’t be convincing in our covers. I’m aware of what any of us may have to do in this job”

“Then what is your concern exactly, because I’m getting a lot of mixed signals here.”

Feeling his bearing return, Steve stood straighter, more in command of himself. “My concern is that tonight was not the first time you’ve indicated your attraction to Kono and I don’t want this to disrupt the team.”

“My attraction to...yeah, I have eyes. She’s beautiful.”

“You flirt with her.”

Danny gave him a look of consternation. “Of course I do. I flirt with everyone.”

“You don’t flirt with me or Chin.”

“I do actually. You just don’t pay attention. Chin just smiles and ignores me. Kono shuts me down, as I expect her to. And you, my friend, you’re just clueless.”

“What, so this is... just you playing games?” Steve’s voice pinged with annoyance.

Danny shook his head and started to pull his shirt back on, buttoning it up as he talked, “I feel like we’re talking about two different things right now and you’re getting pissed at me for something that’s not fair.”

“Oh, really? Enlighten me.” Steve crossed his arms

“You weren’t upset about me kissing Kono for the op. You’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous.”

“Yeah? Well, your dick says otherwise. So I figured I’d taunt you so your little, green, tentacle monster can go back into the ocean where it belongs.” Steve made a face at that but Danny kept going, ignoring what he was sure was going to be a protest.

“But I’m not going to apologize for who I am. If I like someone enough to let them into my circle of trust, at some point, I flirt with them. It’s fun; it’s how I show that I care.”

“I see. So you kissed me just now to prove a point and nothing more?”

“Uh, I’m pretty sure if the court reporter reads it back, you’ll find it was you who kissed me.”

“Because you dared me to! And you don’t get to be all innocent here, I felt you too y’know.”

“Exactly my point, Steven! We aren’t going to be able to always control how our bodies react in the moment, so we have to stay loose about it. You jumped all over me about what happened tonight with Kono but fact is, I’d have gotten aroused no matter who I was kissing. It happens.”

Danny walked over to stand beside his partner, placing a hand on his arm. “Look, it’s late and this is probably not the night for this kind of conversation, OK? Thanks for the offer, but I think it’s better I crash into my own bed tonight. Can I have my keys?”

Steve blinked, the internal struggle evident on his face as he dug into his pocket for the key ring and placed them in Danny’s palm. Danny threaded his fingers through the short hairs at the back of Steve’s neck.

“We’re OK, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Steve’s voice was raw.

“Good. I’ll be back at 11.” Danny left.

Steve walked over to the couch and collapsed back with a deep, drawn-out, “Fuck me.”


	2. S1: E9 Po’ipu (The Siege)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Danny’s feelings about Nick Taylor are obvious to everyone from the get go, but Steve is harboring some jealousy of his own._

Max walked over to Steve as he sat in his dining room and watched the techs lay out number cards by shell casings and take photos. He could feel his body crashing from the adrenaline, his hands starting to shake.

“Commander, Sgt. O’kala is here to trade your weapon.” Max asked, holding open an evidence bag.

“What?” Steve asked, feeling very unfocused.

“I need your service weapon for ballistics Commander. Please.” Max said quietly. Detective Williams had told him that Steve had killed one of his friends tonight and Max was trying to be thoughtful.

Steve blinked and seemed to come back to himself. “Oh, right. Of course.” He pulled his Sig Sauer from his holster and placed it in the bag which Max closed and both of them signed their names on Mylar tape that spanned the seal. Sgt. O’kala handed him a different service weapon and holster, and Steve signed a form indicating he had accepted receipt of the new gun. It was a Glock 19, which he was certified on, but he preferred the Sigs. Just another pain in the ass event in a pain in the ass week.

O’kala squatted so he could look at Steve eye to eye. “Do you have a place to stay tonight, sir?”

Until this very moment, he hadn’t planned on anything other than falling into his own bed once everyone went home, but the question made him finally look around. His home was a crime scene. The techs would be processing every bullet hole and round recovered so they would be able to re-create the firefight for the review board, and the Governor’s office, and probably the State department. It would be days before they were gone. Never mind how long it would be to replace the windows and repair doors. Why had he thought he could sleep in his bed tonight?

“Uh, I don’t...”

“Jax, I‘ll make sure he’s got a place. You need anything, call my cell, OK?” Danny deftly got the Sergeant to walk away with him and Steve noticed that Danny’s hip holster was also empty and he’d wedged a holstered Glock in the small of his back. The Glocks were always what they got left with anytime their service pieces had ended up in ballistics, because no one liked them. They were like the team’s Scarlet A; proof you’d shot someone in the line of duty. He tapped his fingers on the rock-hard leather of the holster that sat on the table when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“You need to get anything before we go? Maybe clothes or a toothbrush?” Danny asked.

“Where am I going.”

“Great place. You’ll love it. C’mon. I’ll tell you all about it as you throw some stuff in a bag.”

It was only once he entered his room and flipped on the light that he realized Danny’d had a hand on him the whole way up the stairs, which he dropped as they entered his bedroom. Steve went to the bathroom to toss together his toiletries first.

“The department is gonna wanna put me in a Motel 6 out on the highway. It’s the cheapest option.”

“Yeah, O’kala mentioned that but I talked him out of it. Those places are, like, Jack Nicholson creepy.”

“The Holiday Inn on Kūhiō is nice.” Steve offered as he pulled his duffel out of the closet and started tossing clothes into it.

“Maybe, but no personality.”

Steve stopped packing and looked at his partner. “Where are you taking me?”

“I, uh, I thought...if you were agreeable...you could stay with me.”

“You’re hilarious Danny. Seriously, where have you found me a bed that’s better than a hotel.”

“I’m...I’m actually very serious.”

“You live in a one-room studio in Manoa.”

“Very good. Your powers of observation continue to be five-star.”

“Danny...” Steve felt like there was joke happening right now that he didn’t understand. “You only have one room, and...and...it’s a mess...and Grace...”

“Yeah. And we’ll figure all that out later.” Danny walked to Steve and took him by the shoulders. “Look, you went hand-to-hand with someone you called a friend tonight. Someone who, in your whacked-out Special Forces life, you were bonded to. Someone you’ve now killed. All that says to me that you should not be alone tonight. Probably shouldn’t be alone for several nights. My place; it’s not much, you’re right about that. But you will be safe there. And if I’m being honest, knowing you’re OK is something I need right now too. Alright?”

Steve felt tears he hadn’t let himself produce start to swell behind his eyes and he simply nodded as he finished packing.

5050505050

Danny was secretly glad that he’d thrown all of Grace’s toys into the bench box that morning since she had just finished her week with him and wouldn’t be back for seven days. Not that his apartment was actually clean...but it was less cluttered anyway.

“There’s a closet down that way, across from the bathroom. You can put your bag in there, if you want.” Danny motioned down the short, 5-foot hall as he dropped his replacement gun and badge on the tiny table beside his pull out bed.

His partner walked back from the closet and they stood on opposite sides of the sofa bed. “So...we’re both gonna...” Steve couldn’t help smiling at the ridiculousness of...well, everything really.

“What, you never had a sleepover as a kid? Or maybe this shatters your fragile masculinity?” Danny challenged.

That made Steve laugh. “Partner, my masculinity is anything but fragile. Believe me, sharing a bed with you is the Ritz Carlton compared to some of the places I’ve had to sleep. It’s fine.”

Danny let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. He knew it was awkward as hell. Of course Steve would be more comfortable in a hotel. But he wanted him close. These past few days had been hard with Nick and now Danny felt guilty.

“You hungry?” Danny didn’t have much in his kitchen, but he would run out to the store if he needed to.

“Not really, but you have any oranges? If not, juice is ok too.”

“I have both, actually. Grace likes them.”

“I’ll take the fruit then. The citric acid will help with the shaking I still have in my fingers.” Steve sat on the bed, his back to the sofa cushion that served as the headboard for the pull-out bed.

Danny grabbed two oranges from the bowl and a few paper towels before sitting down next to Steve on the bed. They sat peeling and eating for a while in silence when Danny shifted slightly towards his partner.

“Tell me about Nick.”

Eyebrows furrowed, Steve asked, “What do you want to know?”

“I don’t know. He said you trained him. Tell me something from when you first met.”

“I don’t understand. You don’t...didn’t...like him. Why are you asking about him?”

“‘Cause he was your friend, and now he’s gone, and I want to...I’d like to hear the things that made him your friend. From before.”

Steve focused on his orange again for moment before saying, “Nick wasn’t my friend the way you are. He was one of my guys, yes. I helped train him and I understood his skill set. But I don’t have stories with him. I mean, sure, I could tell you the techs from an op or something but that’s not...Let me take that.” He wadded up his orange rind in the paper towel and took Danny’s as well. Standing, he went to the small kitchen area next to the bed. At the sink, he poured two glasses of water and returned to the bed. There was no where else to sit in Danny’s apartment.

Handing a glass to Danny, he sat down again. “You don’t have to ask me about Nick. We ended his mission and he made his choices. I did what I had to do. If we’d run into him at a bar, I’d have introduced him to you as my friend. But he wasn’t in here.” He tapped his sternum with two fingers.

“OK. I’m not sure I buy all that, but I can’t make you talk about him or what went down tonight. I am sorry for how it all turned out, though. I didn’t like him, but I admit didn’t try that hard to see him as you did.”

Smiling, Steve said, “I’m gonna have to bring my old unit guys around more often. Watching you go after him like a chihuahua defending its yard was the best part of my week.”

“A chihuahua? Please. I at least rank a...a... pit bull or...or...bulldog. Chihuahua. Fuck you.” Danny grinned.

“Alright, bulldog then. Your jealousy amuses me.”

“I was not jealous. Guy rubbed me wrong and it turns out, exactly like a dog, I am an excellent judge of character. You wanna watch a movie or something?”

“Nah, I’m pretty spent.” Steve shimmied out of his cargo pants and dropped them on the floor next to his water glass, scooted under the covers and punched his pillow to how he liked it, which happened to be pushed up against Danny who was still sitting up. “But do what you want. And Danny? Thanks.”

“Of course, babe. Whatever you need, I got you.” He picked up the remote from the side table and started flipping channels as he casually draped an arm across Steve’s back. His partner gave a quiet sigh.

“I know. It’s why I picked you.” Steve yawned and fell silent.

The sound was on low as he flipped through the channels not really watching, but thinking. _He’s wasn’t my friend like you are. He wasn’t in here._ Danny absently tapped the tip of the remote to his own chest as soft snores drew his focus and he gave a gentle rub on his partner’s back.

5050505050

Steve stood by the front door of Danny’s apartment and watched as his partner walked around the bed, picking up a book, then putting it down, then he walked into the kitchen, then down to the bathroom.

“What are you doing? We gotta go.” Steve asked a bit impatiently.

“Until I find my car keys we aren’t going anywhere, so you wanna help look or just stand there and bitch?”

“Your car keys are in my hand Danny. That’s what you’ve been doing for the past two minutes?”

“Why are you holding my car keys?”

“Because I told you we needed to leave at 0830.”

Danny motioned Steve to go out the door and stopped once he’d closed it behind them. “Give me the keys.”

“Why?”

“Because I need the key to deadbolt the door dumbass. That ring doesn’t just have the key to the Camaro on it.”

Steve handed them over. Danny locked the deadbolt and shoved his hand, and the keys, into his front pants pocket as he walked down the path to the parking lot.

Falling into step beside his partner, Steve asked, “You think I can get those back from you?”

Danny gave him a slight frown, “Nope. It’s my car and I drive it.”

“I like driving it too.”

They were now in the lot, standing in front of the silver sports car. “See, that I know. I know that very well because two days ago I was stranded at the Palace for five hours while you drove my car all over the island, including to two felony raids that everyone on the team got invited to but me. So yeah, but you also insulted New Jersey, and by extension, me, so you get to ride shotgun until I decide otherwise.”

“Fine.”

“Fine?”

“Fine.” Steve shrugged and walked to the passenger door and waited as Danny unlocked the car.

As they pulled on their seatbelts, Steve said, “You probably should see someone about this obsession you have with your car, man. It’s not normal.”

“My obsession with...? I’m not the one obsessed with my car you deranged lunatic.”

Danny threw his right arm over the back of Steve’s seat as he turned to look out the rear window as he pulled out of the parking space. When he drew it back, his fingers unintentionally brushed against Steve’s shoulder, sending a jolt of electricity up his arm that he decided to ignore. They were arguing and now was not the time for his mind to drift to how good it felt having Steve’s warm, sleeping body next to him all night.

“This car is a means to an end.” Steve started up again. “It gets us from point A to point B. That’s all. But you act like my driving it is some kind of personal violation. Maybe you just need a date.”

“Oh, here we go. This is great. Classic McGarrett misdirection. Which of us gets to drive has nothing to do with my dating life and we are **not** talking about that, so don’t even...what are...what are you doing?” Steve was going through his glove box.

“I’m doing a safety check. Making sure you have all the necessary items.” Steve pulled wads of paper out of the glove box, reading them and tossing them on the dash. “You ever eat anywhere besides Cami’s Pizza? There’s, like, a thousand receipts in here.”

“Will you stop. You’re making a mess.” Danny’s eyes flicked between what his partner was doing and the road as he got on the freeway.

“The mess was already here, pal. I’m cleaning your mess.”

“What I keep in my glove box is my business.”

Steve pulled out a stack of small cards, each one with a different picture of New Jersey on it.

“How many of these things do you have?”

“A few. I swap ‘em out, depending on which parts of home I’m missing.”

Steve held one up, “This is a picture of an elevated train car, Danny.”

“It’s the Newark Light Rail, Steven. I’ll have you know New Jersey has the most comprehensive public transportation system in the country.”

Steve tossed the cards back into the glove box and shut the door hard. He collected the crumpled receipts he’d tossed on the dash and shoved them into one of the leg pockets on his cargo shorts, saying nothing.

As Danny pulled off their exit he glanced over. “Alright, what’s got your trident all in a knot.”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit.”

“Maybe I don’t want you going all ‘Jersey in this piece’?”

They came to a stop at the light at the end of the off ramp and Danny turned towards him. “Trust me, I go Jersey on you, you’re gonna know it’s coming and exactly what you did to deserve it. C’mon. You got broody-face all of a sudden.”

The light turned green so Danny refocused on the road but kept glancing over. Steve wouldn’t look at him.

“I just don’t see why you want to go back there so bad. You got a life here. You got friends, a good job, sunshine, your kid...so I don’t get why you’re so desperate to be back there when your life is here.”

“My life is here because it has to be, not because I chose it. You think the heat and the constant smell of salt and sunscreen and pineapple in everything, and...and...whatever the hell Spam is supposed to be...you think all that is normal because you grew up here. I didn’t. And honestly, the more you piss all over Jersey the more I love it because that’s exactly what being from New Jersey is. We grow up being the butt of a national joke and we wear that shit with pride. No matter where I am, no matter how long I’m away, I will never not love being from Jersey. And it will never not be home.”

Danny pulled the key card out that triggered the gate for the underground parking garage below the Palace and then slid it back behind the photo of Grace that was clipped to the visor. As he parked the car and killed the engine, he held the keys out. Steve raised his hand palm up to accept them and Danny cupped his hand for moment.

“You don’t gotta be jealous of Jersey. For the foreseeable future, my life is here. I can be satisfied with here and still miss there. Capiche?”

Steve gave a slight nod. “I’m not jealous of New Jersey.”

“And I wasn’t jealous of Nick.” Danny pulled his hand back and got out of the car.


	3. S1: E10 Heihei (Race)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Steve meets Rachel for the first time._

Steve watched as Danny actually read the Side Street menu; as though they hadn’t eaten there three or more times a month since they met. “What’re you doing?”

“What do you mean what am I doing? What does it look like I’m doing?”

“It’s the same menu they’ve had since I was in high school, Danny. We order the same thing every time.”

“We do, which is exactly why I’m looking at the menu Steven. Maybe tonight I don’t want Garlic Chicken. Huh? Maybe we need to branch out...try the pork chops or...or...the teriyaki.”

“We order the Garlic Chicken because it’s the best thing on the menu, Danny. Look, see, right there, ‘Signature Garlic Chicken’.” Steve sat back like he won this obvious battle.

“But right here it says ‘Famous Pan-Fried Pork Chops’. They are clearly not famous for their Garlic Chicken, or it would say ‘Famous Garlic Chicken’, which it does not.”

The waitress walked up with their Longboards. “You ready to order?”

“Yes.” Danny says at the same time Steve says, “No.” She looked back and forth between them and said, “I’ll give you two another minute.”

“Why do they do that? Whenever I’m out with you, they do that.” Danny groused.

“Do what?” Steve hid his smile in taking as swig of his beer, knowing exactly what Danny meant.

“Listen to you over me. You hardly ever pay and they still put the check in front of you.”

He shrugged. “I look like the one in charge because I’m the one in charge.”

“You are in charge in the office or a...a...crime scene. But you are not in charge at restaurants and you’re certainly not in charge of me.”

Tilting his head slightly, Steve said, “Looks like a duck, sounds like a duck...”

“No. Stop right there. I give you deference in specific areas. You wanna find out exactly how not in charge of me you are, keep talking.” Danny signaled to the waitress to come over. “We’ll have the pork chops and a side of yakisoba.”

Steve watched him carefully, not objecting, just letting Danny have his moment until the waitress left. “Feel better?”

“Yeah, sure.” Danny chugged several swallows of his beer at once.

“So we here to get drunk or we gonna talk about Rachel?”

Danny choked a little, but set his beer down, realizing he’d just drank two-thirds of it in one go. “What’s there to talk about?”

“Why’d you break up, for starters.”

Danny leaned back. “We don’t got that much time.”

“I’ve got nowhere to be tonight and you don’t have a cellphone to pretend you’re losing my signal and can’t hear the question. Why’re you dodging me? You cheat on her? She cheat on you?”

“No and no,” Danny focused on his bottle, picking at the label. “In some ways, that would be easier to talk about because at least an affair is straight forward; something people understand. The truth is much harder.”

Leaning forward, Steve spoke softly, “What’s the truth Danny?”

“I love being a cop. My Pop, I told you that he’s a firefighter, right? Growing up, all he ever wanted was for me to be one too. Even after it became clear that I wouldn’t make the height requirement, he never quite gave up the idea, y’know. But fire never fascinated me like it does him, y’know? And aside from training, most of what they do is medical response, which also never interested me. But chasing bad guys? That was an adrenaline rush I could get into.

“And Rachel, like a lot of women who date cops, she understood the thrill as well. When you’re young and feel invincible, the danger of it all seems manageable. But as time goes on, stakeouts mean you’re not home to change your share of diapers and every shooting or car chase that makes the news lurks like the bogey man in the closet. So she stops watching the news and pretends she doesn’t see the bruises you come home with...or the cuts on your knuckles. Until the day she asks you if you’ve ever thought about doing something else.

“I dodged the truth as long as I could, but that was the moment I knew that one day she was going to make me confess to which I loved more; my job or her. I knew what my answer was. And I resented her for it because from the moment we met, she knew exactly who I was. That hadn’t changed. I hadn’t changed. She had. I loved her and I hated her because it all felt so unfair. So we separated and then she meets this land developer and then I’m packing my ass across a continent and half an ocean because loving my job doesn’t mean I don’t love my family.”

Steve tapped his fingers lightly on the table and said, “She came in and saw you on the camera, during the stake out. When she realized you were in the house next door, I saw that fear you just talked about. And after I radioed to you to get out, she was out of the room before I could stop her. She crashed her car for you. She doesn’t hate you.”

“I know she doesn’t.” Their food arrived and Danny changed the subject. He and Rachel had been so hurtful to one another for so long, but the way she looked at him this evening...he just couldn’t talk about it anymore.

After dinner, he dropped Steve off at his house and without meaning to, he found himself back in Rachel’s driveway. It was almost 2200 and he really shouldn’t be here.

He’d knocked quietly so as to not wake up Grace. Rachel leaned on the door when she opened it.

“Tell me to go home Rachel.”

“I can’t.”

He pushed open the door, one hand around her waist and the other at her neck, kissing her. He closed the door with his foot and kept kissing her all the way to the bedroom, which, thanks to their stakeout, he knew exactly where it was.

5050505050

The morning sun filled the room and he woke with her spooned against his chest, his hand resting on her belly and his fingers drifted low, petting her gently as he kissed along her neck, slowly waking her up. She rolled toward him on her back, her legs spreading instinctively and he stroked the silky tip of her clit as he kissed her mouth, savoring her moans.

She clutched at his shoulders as he entered her, their eyes locked as she panted exactly the way he remembered. It had been over two years since they made love but it could have been last week for how easily they moved together, read one another, and knew exactly how to bring one another to their highest peak until he collapsed beside her, drained and spent. She rolled on her side and ran her fingers through his hair, tickling the back of his neck slightly.

“Danny, I need to get Grace ready for school, but she can’t...” Rachel couldn’t bring herself to say it.

He nodded. Not only would it be confusing for their daughter, but Danny was very aware that he was in another man’s house, naked in another man’s bed, making love to another man’s wife while that man was off-island on a business trip. It killed him to not be able to see Grace; to send her off to school with a hug and a “Danno loves you” but what else was there?

Grabbing his clothes from the floor, he headed into the bathroom. He had settled for splashing some water on his face and running wet fingers through his hair to try and give it some semblance of order because he couldn’t stomach taking a shower and then putting on his clothes from yesterday. He’d bathe and change back at his apartment. There was a quiet knock on the bathroom door.

“She’s in the kitchen eating, so you can slip out without her seeing.” He gave her a pained look. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s not fair. You showed up at my door, not the other way around.”

“I know. I’m not blaming you. I just...I know. You’re right. Can I...can I call you later?”

She patted the side of his face gently. “Of course.”

He laid a hand over hers and held it as he pulled it to his lips, kissing her fingers. Without another word, he was out the door.

5050505050

When he was a teenager, his sisters used to talk about girls they didn’t like doing the “walk of shame” and for the first time in his life, he understood the term. It never ceased to amaze him how friends they liked were “sexually free”, going for what they wanted but girls they didn’t like were “whores” or “sluts”. Of course, pointing out such a double standard generally ended with a lot of yelling and more than once with nail scratches on his arms or face. Stella especially, was a hellcat that way. But he couldn’t hurt her back or his Pop would belt him good. These were the parts of Jersey he could never explain to Steve.

As if summoned by his thoughts, Danny felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket as he locked his car and walked the path towards his studio apartment. “I’m running a little late, Steve. I’ll be by to pick you up in half an hour.” He rounded the corner and found himself staring at his partner, who paced in front of his door.

“Where have you been?” Steve asked, clearly annoyed.

“Why are you here? We agreed yesterday that I’d pick you up.”

“Yeah, and you were late, so I came here in case you’d overslept but you didn’t answer when I knocked.”

Danny pushed past his partner to unlock the door to his apartment. “That’s because I wasn’t in my apartment.”

“Yeah, I’m actually smart enough to put that together for myself. You haven’t answered my question.”

“How about that. Look, I’m sorry. Why don’t you head in without me? I’ll be at the office as soon as I can.”

Steve followed him inside and looked him over head to toe, then around the apartment, and crossed his arms. “You didn’t sleep here last night.”

Danny sighed and leaned against the wall that led down to the bathroom; a place he desperately wanted to get to right now. “Great work, McGruff. You’re gonna make a real crime fighter one day. Now will you please leave so I’m not any later for work than I already am?”

“Not until you tell me where you were.”

“Or what? You gonna water board me? Hook my balls up to a battery until I talk?”

Steve’s eyes hardened. “Danny...,” he growled and his partner knew he’d hit a limit.

“I was with Rachel, OK? Now will you please let me take a shower and get dressed?”

“Rachel? As in your ex-wife who is now married to someone else? That Rachel?”

Danny’s jaw tensed. “Don’t come at me with that. She was mine first.”

“Oh really? Did you tattoo ‘Property of Danny Williams’ on her ass? You think because you once put a ring on it you’ve got a life-time pussy-pass?”

Danny ran at him hard, shoving him back against the front door, fists clenching Steve’s t-shirt. “Listen to me asshole, you say another fucking word and I will make you bleed, you understand me?”

“If punching me is gonna make you hate yourself a little less, go ahead. But I’m not the asshole this morning and you know it.”

Steve watched the anger change to pain in Danny’s face and he relaxed his own body, putting his hands over Danny’s, pulling them off his chest and down to his side, holding them there for a few moments until Danny calmed down a little more.

“Go take your shower while I go get us some food and coffee. OK?”

Danny was still feeling tense and like he wanted to punch something. “You presume too much.”

“Partner, I can smell her perfume on your skin. We’ll talk when I get back.” Steve left Danny standing there, frustrated and ashamed.

5050505050

From the coffee shop, Steve texted Chin and Kono that he and Danny would be in by 1000 and he got lattes and ham & cheese croissants to take back. When he got back to the apartment, Danny had showered, hair still wet and uncombed, as he sat on his bed, staring at the floor.

“C’mon. You still need to shave.” Steve pulled Danny up by his elbow and shoved a latte in his hand, then pushed him down the hall. The bathroom was tiny, so Steve leaned against the door frame and drank his coffee while he watched Danny finish getting ready.

“Did she call you last night?”

Danny glanced at him in the mirror as he splashed his razor in the water, shaving cream on his face. “No. I went over there.”

“After you dropped me off?”

“Yeah.” Danny slid the razor slowly down his cheek, talking to Steve’s reflection in the mirror.

“So, when we talked last night, you were already feeling like she might be open to...”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t sure. I went over there to be sure. To see if I was reading the signal right, y’know.”

“And you were.”

“Well, I’m actually less sure about that than I was yesterday.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because sex and love aren’t the same thing. I still love her. I’m attracted to her. But she can use that against me. She has used that against me.”

“Danny, I’m not trying to be dick here, I’m really not. But all that was true yesterday too. So why did you go over there?”

He swirled his razor in the water of the basin, watching the shaving cream melt off and the short hairs move through the water, not really wanting to answer but knowing Steve would stand at his back until he did. Without looking at him, he said, “Because I knew she’d let me. The way she looked at me...and it’s been...a while.”

Steve took that in as Danny kept shaving. He was pretty certain Danny hadn’t dated anyone in the time since they met and he never talked about having seen anyone since being in Hawaii. “How long is ‘a while’?”

The drain popped and Danny turned on the tap to rinse the basin while he wet a washcloth to wipe the thick shaving cream off the rest of his face, still avoiding Steve’s gaze in the mirror. “Since before we came out here...uh...over two years.”

“So basically you’ve been with no one since your divorce.”

“No.”

“That’s taking the whole ‘til death do us part’ thing a little far don’t you think?”

“You’re a funny guy, right there. Look, some of us take our vows seriously, OK? And those promises aren’t that easy to take back, alright?”

“Sure. Right up until she made those same vows to another guy.”

He had no answer for that, so Danny smooshed some mousse in his hair and combed it back. Steve watched with some fascination as his partner brought the tip of the comb down the back of his head, creating the dovetail line.

“I always wondered how you did that.”

“You always wondered how I combed my hair?”

“Yeah. Like how you got it stay like that.” Steve realized Danny was giving him a quizzical look. “What?”

“Wanna make rice krispy treats and paint each other’s nails next?”

“Huh?” It was Steve’s turn to be puzzled.

“Never mind.” Danny pushed past him to the hall closet where Danny kept his clothes. He pulled out a plastic bin where he kept his clean socks, grabbed a pair, and walked the short hallway to sit on his bed and put his shoes on. Steve sat beside him.

“No one, especially me, is judging you for wanting to...I mean...I get that. OK? But this feels like you’re standing next to a campfire with a can of lighter fluid. I don’t want you to get burned is all.”

“Believe it or not, I’m acutely aware of how much pain I’m exposing myself to here. Not just me, Grace too. OK. I don’t need you to make me feel any worse than I already do.”

“I don’t want you to feel worse.” Steve clapped a hand on Danny’s back, gently squeezing his trapezius muscle. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I was worried and...”

Steve’s voice trailed off as he squashed down hard the word that had almost left his lips... _jealous_. Where did that come from? He wasn’t jealous. He was happy his friend had gotten laid. Two years without...Steve couldn’t even imagine. But he also knew in his gut that if Rachel and Danny got back together, there was nothing keeping them in Hawai’i...

“And what?” Danny asked, snapping Steve’s attention back.

“And...and worry makes me say stupid things sometimes. But I had no call to talk to you about Rachel like that.”

“Thank-you. You ready to go?”

“Sure.” Steve stood and pulled Danny’s key ring from his pocket.

“Where did you....how...?” Danny sputtered.

“You left them on the counter when you took a shower.” Steve shrugged. “Sooner or later, you’re just gonna give me my own set.”

Danny shook his head as he clipped his gun holster and badge to his belt. “That’s gonna be a never. Last thing I need is you being able to come in here whenever you want, you creepy stalker person.”

“You love it.” Steve said as he pushed Danny out the door and locked the dead bolt behind them.


	4. S1:E18/19 Loa Aloha (The Long Goodbye)/Ne Me’e Laua Na Paio (Heroes and Villains)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _After Matt, Danny seeks solace in the one place he believes he can find it. And it’s not with Steve, who is very concerned about the choices his partner is making right now._

Just after midnight on the night Matt fled Hawai’i, Danny slipped downstairs to the kitchen. The incredible thing about the Edwards’ residence is that the kitchen actually has a room off the back for where “the help” eat their meals. Never in his life had he dreamed of such a thing. He made himself a cup of tea using the instant hot water tap and went into that back room, closing the door, not that either Rachel or Grace were apt to hear him anyway, given they were two floors up. He just felt a need to hide; though what he was hiding from was not something he was willing to think about.

He hit the call button on his cell phone next to Steve’s name. It hadn’t even rung once when his partner picked up.

“You OK, Danny?”

“Yeah. Matt’s gone.”

“I know. Spent most of the past two hours dealing with the Feds and the DEA, convincing them not to arrest you.”

Danny wrapped one hand tight around his cup, savoring the warmth as his body shivered. “I’m sorry.”

“You home now? I went by your place but you weren’t there. Where are you?” Silence met his question. “Danny? Danny? You there?”

“Yeah, I’m here.” Danny took a gulp of his tea.

Steve suddenly remembered dinner a few days ago and Rachel sharing that Stan was in Boston. “You’re not at home are you?”

“Not so much, no.”

“And the hits just keep on coming.” Steve sighed.

“Steve,” Danny paused, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice. “Steve, I really need you to be my friend right now, OK. I know what you wanna say...but I can’t...”

“Danny, I am your friend and I will do anything for you, you know that. Where are you, right now?”

“I’m, uh, I’m in Rachel’s kitchen.”

“In whose kitchen?” Steve pushed.

“Rachel and Stan’s kitchen.” Danny answered quietly.

“If you and Rachel are putting your relationship back together, that’s awesome. Is that what’s actually happening right now?”

“I don’t know. I just...she understands, y’know, about Matty, our my family...she’s the mother of my child and she’s the only woman I’ve ever really loved.”

Steve closed his eyes. “Danny, why’d you call me?”

“Because...I needed to tell you about Matt.” Danny could feel himself losing the tenuous grip he had on his control.

“Danny....why did you call me?” Steve asked again, his voice patient and calm.

No longer able to contain his tears he cried, “Because everything is all fucked up and...and...I can’t keep my head straight.”

Steve’s heart clenched at the pain in Danny’s words. “Alright, listen to me, OK? You listening?”

“Yeah,” his voice taught with emotion.

“Your emotions are running very hot right now and with everything that happened today, you’re gonna be twisted all around. Just...try to get some sleep. Real sleep, you hear me. I’ll meet you at your place in the morning and we’ll talk. We will get through this, OK?”

A calm descended on him as Steve spoke that was the real reason why he’d called. It had only been seven months since he and Steve had stared down the barrels of each other’s guns, but in that short amount of time, there was no one else who could ease his mind and make his world seem normal again.

“Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“ _That_ is why I called you. You...I need you in my life.”

“I need you in my life too.”

“See you tomorrow.”

“Good-night, Danny.”

5050505050

_Four Days Later_

They closed the door on the interrogation room, leaving Johnny D still handcuffed to the chair inside.

“Whatever he may have, we’re not gonna find it tonight. It’s already close to two in the morning.” Steve leaned against the wall and rubbed his eyes. It had been several hours since they’d brought their best lead in for questioning and his stomach was growling.

“So, we stick him a holding cell overnight?”

“Yeah. Then let’s grab some burgers. I’m starving.”

“So much for my trying to eat better. Don’t tell Grace.”

“Your secrets are my secrets.” Danny shifted uncomfortably, very aware of how true that was at the current moment.

“Alright, you go wake up a desk sergeant and I’ll bring D-bag in there up to holding.”

Forty minutes later, Steve pulled the Camaro into his driveway. “Before you even start, you’re staying over, no argument. It’s too late and we’re both exhausted.”

“Yeah, OK.” Danny acquiesced, though the way the past week has been, he didn’t want to be alone anyway. Stan was back in town and he’d tried every day to reach Matt. Both situations were like razor blades constantly slicing his arms and when he was by himself, that feeling only got worse.

Once inside, Steve set the alarm and tugged on Danny’s sleeve. “C’mon.” Too worn out to question or argue, Danny followed him upstairs to Steve’s bedroom.

“There’s sweats and t-shirts in the bottom drawer if you want.” Steve pulled his shirt off and headed to the bathroom. Danny thought about it, but decided to just strip down to his boxer-briefs and get into bed. He was almost asleep when he felt the mattress give next to him. Steve said nothing to him, but the warmth of the body beside him drove every last fear away and Danny was asleep in seconds.

_~~~~_

_”Danny! Come on!” Matty hollered back as he ran through the grass ahead of him. The sun was almost below the horizon and long shadows fell behind his brother as he ran towards the rocks._

_“Matty! Wait! We need to head back. Ma’s gonna be pissed if we’re not by the house before the street lamps come on!”_

_“But I haven’t shown you yet!” Matt kept running towards the rocks that seemed to grow higher as they got closer._

_“You can show me tomorrow!” Danny yelled, his voice felt hoarse and dry. “We have all summer for you to show me!”_

_His brother stopped by a narrow opening in the rock face. Danny looked high and the rocks now seemed to go up forever. “Look, Danny! Look at it!”_

_He strained to see what Matt was pointing at. “I don’t get it, Matty. What are you...”_

_“It’s down there? See it. It’s a waterslide into the rocks. See! You can slide all they way down to the pool below. Can’t you see it?”_

_He tried to see what his brother was pointing at, but all he saw was a dark, wet, hole. “I don’t see anything, Matty. Maybe if we come back in the light.”_

_“Ugh! You’re just not looking for me hard enough.” Matty dropped to his butt and put his feet in the opening._

_Danny felt frozen with fear. “Don’t, Matty. Please. Don’t.” He tried to move, to reach out to grab his brother’s hand as he slipped down into the dark, narrow, round opening._

_“MATTY!”_

_~~~_

“Danny! Wake-up!”

Danny opened his eyes, disoriented, his heart racing, trying to focus on the face that hovered over him. “Steve?”

“Yeah, buddy. You OK?”

“Why am I...where am I?”

“You’re at my house. Remember?”

Danny rubbed his hands over eyes, trying to erase the image of Matty disappearing...he felt the sweat on his forehand and rolled to his side because he wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t throw up.

“I need water.” It took effort but he sat up and took several fast strides to the bathroom and stood panting over the sink. Steve was right behind him, turning on the faucet and filling the small metal cup that was on the counter.

“Drink slow, babe. Little sips. Don’t gulp.” Steve’s voice was soft and steady as he lifted the cup to Danny’s lips. Danny’s hand grasped Steve’s wrist, clinging to him until he’d taken several drinks and then he stepped back. A little cold water splashed on his bare chest as he kept a firm grip on Steve’s arm until he registered the warm, slow circles that Steve’s other hand was rubbing on the small of his back. Fully registering both the dream and the reality of watching Matt get on board the Cessna hit him hard all of a sudden. Nothing he could do could stop his tears and he collapsed against his friend.

Steve held him, arms strong around his waist and shoulder. “You’re OK, babe. You’re OK.”

He felt the change in Danny when he had exhausted himself and started to pull away. Danny turned from him and Steve opened a cupboard door and pulled out a clean washcloth and handed it over. Danny took it and ran it under water then wiped his face.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“It was just a nightmare. Matty was falling and I couldn’t catch him.”

“You wanna take the day? Kono can go with me to search through the stolen items.”

Danny took a deep breath and straightened up. “No. Work helps. And me being alone definitely doesn’t.”

Nodding, Steve said, “You got it. You want to shower here or head home first and then pick me up?”

“I feel like I’ve trespassed on your hospitality enough already. I’ll head to my place and be back here in an hour.”

“Sounds good. Coffee will be ready when you get back.”

Danny started to walk past him but then stopped and placed a flat palm on Steve’s bare abdomen. Steve placed his own hand on top of Danny’s. They looked at one another. Danny nodded slightly and flexed his fingers just a little before dropping his hand and leaving.

5050505050

Danny stood at the elevators outside of central booking where he’d just left Anne Davis and was headed back up to the Five-0 offices. The doors opened and Steve stepped further back into the elevator car, motioning Danny to join him.

“What’d you come down here for?” Danny asked, surprised to see Steve and even more surprised when Steve hit the button for the level below their offices where their interrogation room was. “Something going on?”

“You’ll see.”

Danny was both extremely curious and little bit wary, but he pushed the latter down inside himself. This was Steve. There was literally no one he trusted more, so he watched and waited.

The doors opened and Steve walked down the blue-lit hallway, knowing Danny would follow. He got to the smaller of the two rooms they used for interrogation, opened the door and grabbed the chair from the center of the room and carried it to the larger room. He placed the two chairs so they faced one another and motioned for Danny to sit. Danny didn’t.

“What are you doing?”

“You and I, we’re gonna talk until it’s time to stop. No distractions. No one else listening. Just us.” Steve sat in one of the chairs.

“I don’t understand. We talk all the time. Why’re you...”

“Danny, I’ve never been more serious about anything than I am right now.”

“OK.” Danny sat. The chairs were close together, so their knees almost touched. Steve leaned forward resting his forearms on his knees.

“This case we just finished. It was a ride, man. We started with a bunch of grown-ass people playing dress up, which led us to a joker using the internet to get strippers, who also happened to be the runner of a substantial theft ring. But at the end of the day, after we’d followed every lead, and burned through all the evidence. Where did we end up? Huh? That long trail that began with the sad murder of a drunk comic book lover who just wanted to have fun, at the end, was this case about?”

The lump in Danny’s throat fell straight to his stomach. “Adultery.” He said, looking straight in Steve’s eyes.

“That’s right, Danny. That woman you just booked, her life is now as over as Alex Baker’s. All because her husband had an affair. And what percentage of our cases have infidelity as a motive?”

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t either but it’s the first question we ask for a reason isn’t it? I’m not trying to be sanctimonious with you here. OK. I care about you, I care about Grace. I want you to be happy, more than anything else, I want that. But what you’re doing...how do you think Stan would feel if he came home and found you two in his bed? Huh? I’ve never met the guy, but do either of us know what he might do to you? To Rachel?”

Danny looked away at that until Steve cupped his chin and drew their eyes back together. “You don’t get to hide from this. Supporting you...being your friend...part of that is calling you out when you’re wrong and this...this is wrong. What’s more, it’s unethical. Since the moment we met, you’ve been the angel on my shoulder shouting at me when I’m going too far...and if I can’t count on you to have a better moral compass than I do...” Steve let go and folded his hands together again and just looked at his partner.

Finally, Danny said, “Everything you’re saying is true. There is no justification here and I don’t know what Stan would do because I try very hard to never think about him at all. And sitting here with you, the choice I need to make is crystal clear.”

Danny took in a breath. “I also know that if Rachel were to show up at my door tonight, I’d make her come until dawn.” Steve winced a little at that.

“And that hurts you. It’s all over your face and I hate that I’m the one putting that look in your eyes right now. It would be a flat out lie for me to say that what I’m doing has nothing to do with you because it does. Being with Rachel, it stings at me not only because she’s cheating on Stan. There’s this weird part of me that feels like I’m cheating on you too.

“And I know that makes no sense and...and you didn’t bring me down here to imply that, but I feel it all the same. You’re right to be mad or disappointed or jealous or whatever you’re feeling. You’re right. And I’m what’s wrong. I just don’t know what to do about it right now.”

Steve nodded his head and said, “I don’t either. I don’t. I needed to say my peace and I thank you for listening.” Steve made to stand up but Danny grabbed his arm.

“I don’t want to have to choose between her and you. Having to do that scares me more than anything. Please.”

“You don’t have to. I’m not going anywhere. That’s not a question I will ever put before you of my own free will. You got me?”

“I got you.”

“I have a meeting with that CIA analyst, Jenna. We’re meeting at the noodle place on Moanalua. You want me to bring you back anything? I could drop by your place after.”

“I’d like that.” Danny gave him a slight smile and he stayed in the interrogation room alone for a while.


	5. S1:E20 Ma Ke Kahakai (On the Beach)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Steve breaks his arm and an iconic McDanno moment is born, and we learn that Danny cares very much about what rank he holds in Steve’s life._

Danny stayed with the body until the C.I. Unit arrived to do what they could with the scene and collect the corpse. He’d ridden out on the back of one of the ATV’s the techs had used to get up the mountain, but it was still past midnight by the time he was back at the Silverado for the drive back to Steve’s place. The hospital was keeping Steve overnight for observation and heavy painkillers once they got his arm set and cast. He texted to see if Steve was awake, not expecting him to be, but then his phone rang.

“Why aren’t you asleep?” Danny asked first thing when he answered the call.

“If you thought I’d be asleep, why’d you text?”

“To see if you were asleep.”

“I’m not. Nurse just came in to take my vitals and give me my next dose of meds.”

“Yeah, I got that.” Danny smiled as he walked into Steve’s kitchen to make himself some tea. “You doing OK? How’s the arm.”

“It’s in a cast, which sucks. Fractured both my radius and ulna.”

“Yeah, but that knucklehead of yours is intact, so that’s a plus. That rock hit you hard. Did they do a CT scan?”

“Yes, and aside from cuts to my face and slight headache, I’m good. The fall could have been much worse.”

Danny closed his eyes and took in a breath just as the kettle whistled. He pulled it off the burner and poured the water.

“Are you at my place right now?”

“Yeah, I finally got done at the body site about an hour ago and drove your truck back. I figured I’d grab you a change of clothes and run them over to you in the morning.”

“Mahalo, babe. I hadn’t even thought about that. Figured I’d just wear what I came in with, but that sounds much better.”

“You have any preferences on what I bring.”

“Nah. My clothes are like those old Garanimals commercials...everything goes together. Pants, underwear, socks, and a shirt. Anything is fine.”

“You do realize that I could be an asshole about this and bring you a pair of sweats, your tux shirt, black dress socks, and a speedo.” Danny teased as he carried his mug to Steve’s room and opened his closet.

“There is part of me that really wants to dare you to go for it, but as soon as I’m out of here tomorrow I wanna work the case. Besides, I know you love me too much to do that.”

“Love you? Who said I loved you?

“You did, pal. As I was getting in the chopper.”

“No, that was sign language for I *heart* you, meaning I’m glad your heart is still beating and didn’t fall to your dumb-ass death because you can’t wait for a CI unit.” Danny had grabbed a pair of blue cargo pants, grey t-shirt, athletic socks and a pair of Steve’s boxer-briefs and folded them into a pile by the door. He sat down on Steve’s bed to drink his tea.

“Nah, I’m pretty sure you signed you love me. I was watching your mouth.”

“My mouth? You read lips now?”

“I read yours.” Steve blinked sleepily and hit the button to lower the bed. “You still in my room?”

“Yeah. Got your clothes ready. You want me to bring you a toothbrush and stuff?”

“They actually gave me a small toiletries kit here at the hospital. It has a toothbrush, small comb, and bottle of a shampoo/conditioner combo thing. Do you have to rush off or can you talk to me for a while?”

“I’m just sitting on your bed drinking tea.” Steve smiled at that.

“You’re in my bed?”, he asked with an edge of flirtation.

“I’m on your bed, which is made with utter perfection. I can’t believe you take the time to make it like this every morning.”

“You do enough push-ups for leaving it sloppy and you learn to do it right.”

“See, that’s just insane. If you hadn’t gotten hurt, who besides you would have ever seen this bed today?”

“Isn’t that the point? Didn’t plan on you seeing it, but there you are.”

Danny pulled out the pillow from the other side of the bed and added it to the first one behind his back.

“Well, it’s not made now.”

“Why? What are you doing in my bed?” Danny was trying hard to ignore the tease in Steve’s voice and the innuendo in his words.

“I told you I’m drinking tea. But I needed back support so I pulled the pillows out. Can’t bounce a quarter off it anymore.”

“Could bounce you off it.” Steve giggled.

“OK, now I know you’re high on whatever painkillers they gave you. You’re not even making sense. How about we say good night?”

Steve rolled on to his right shoulder and balanced his cast on his hip, hoping it would stop throbbing. “No,” he whined. “Talk to me. My arm hurts and I can’t sleep. You’re helping to distract me.”

“Alright. But give me a second OK?”

“Why? What are you...”

“Just hold on.” Steve heard the phone set on a table and then rustling noises.

“Danny. What are you doing? Danny? Danny!”

His partner’s voice came through like he was far from the phone, “You are so impatient!” Then Steve heard the phone pick up again.

“Calm down, babe. I’m back.”

“What did you do?”

“It’s late and you’re keeping me on the phone, so I got more comfortable.”

“Really? What does that mean?” Steve was flirty again, his words slightly slurred.

“I got undressed and under the blanket.”

“All the way? What are you wearing right now?”

Danny shook his head, smiling to himself, “I can’t wait to tell you about this phone call tomorrow.”

“Why’re you gonna tell me about it? I’m right here. C’mon, what are you wearing?”

“Because I don’t expect you to remember this call when you wake up and I’m not wearing much of anything.”

“Now we’re talkin’. And I will so remember. What’d’ya wanna bet I remember?”

“No bets. Wouldn’t be fair in your condition.”

“You’re so honorable. You’re honorable and you love me. That’s nice.” Steve’s eyes were feeling very heavy. “Will you sleep there?”

“You want me to?”

The image in his mind of Danny naked in his bed made him feel snuggly now that his arm wasn’t hurting so bad. “Yeah. I like you in my bed.”

Danny chuckled. “It is so tempting to mess with you right now. I like your bed too. It smells like you.”

“Yeah? How would you mess with me? I like the sound o’ that; mess with me.”

“Aww, babe. You’re high and sleepy and really need to say goodnight now.”

“Not before you tell me for real.”

“Tell you what for real?”

“You know,” Steve yawned. “Not in signs. In words.”

“I love you, babe.”

“You love me. That feels so good.” Steve’s voice was fainter now.

“Goodnight, Steve.”

“Night, Danno.”

Danny shut down his phone, set his alarm, and placed it on the night stand before rolling on his side towards the center of the bed. This wasn’t his first time in this bed, but it was the first time he was here and falling asleep to visions of what it might be like to have Steve naked and flirty beside him, instead of on the phone. It really was just as well that Steve would not remember any of that conversation tomorrow.

5050505050

Steve was sitting up, eating his hospital breakfast when Danny came in and dropped a brown grocery sack at the foot of the bed.

“What is that?” Steve asked. “Oh, and good morning.”

“Good morning to you too. Those are your clothes.”

“You brought me clothes?”

Danny smiled, “Yeah, you asked me to, last night.”

“OK. I mean I’m glad. I wasn’t looking forward to wearing yesterday’s clothes. That was thoughtful of you.”

Danny shrugged, slightly disappointed that his prediction about how much of their late night phone ramblings would stick in his friend’s brain had been correct.

“You asked me to. It was no trouble. When are you getting out of here?”

“I’m hoping by noon. Doc is supposed to come by and give me a final check in an hour or so.”

“OK, just give me a call and I’ll come get you.”

“No, I need you leading Five-0. I already called Kamekona to pick me up.”

Danny rocked on his heels feeling offended. “You called our informant to pick you up instead of asking me?”

“Danny, he’s driving me from here to the Palace. It’s not like I’m taking him out to dinner. I want you focused on this murder investigation, not playing chauffeur to me. And you can drive me home tonight if it’s that big a deal to you.”

“Yeah, OK.” Danny felt a bit silly for protesting. Of course Steve was focused on finding their John Doe’s killer. That was their job.

“Sorry. You’re right. Once we get an ID on our vic, I’ll get everyone moving and text you updates.”

“Perfect.” Steve lifted his cast with his right hand and rested it on the table to elevate it. Danny walked over to look closer.

“How bad does it hurt?”

“Depends on how long since I took a painkiller.”

“You gonna be OK to work? Maybe you should take a few days?”

“I’ll be fine. They haven’t given me a narcotic since 1am. Just using Ibuprofen now.”

“Seriously? You sure? When I blew my knee in high school I needed Vicodin for a week and that wasn’t even a broken bone.”

“I’m sure. I hate the Schedule 1’s. They all make me pass out and half of them make me vomit. I’ll be fine.”

“Back home we’d call you a gabadost”

“Yeah? Well, out here we call this getting your ass back to work.” Steve smiled at him.

“Alright, I was gonna wait to make sure it didn’t hurt too bad but if it doesn’t...” he pulled a Sharpie from his pocket.

“What is that for?” Steve eyed him warily.

“Why you got that face? It’s a pen. So I can sign your cast.”

Steve shook his head. “I’m not nine years old Danny. No one needs to sign my cast with little hearts and smiley faces or dirty jokes and penis drawings.”

“Penis drawings? Whose casts have you been signing? It’s tradition. A Get Well wish and my name. That’s it. I swear.”

“No. I like it how it is. Anything else would look unprofessional.”

“Unprofessional?”

“Yeah, unprofessional. I have to have this on for 8 weeks. You think I want to go into a meeting with the governor while I have random messages all over my arm? No.”

Danny raised his eyebrows and put the pen back in his pocket. “OK. It’s your arm. Whatever you say, that’s fine.”

“Thank-you. You should get to the office. I appreciate you bringing my clothes my, pal.” Steve put his right hand out to Danny who held it.

“I’m really glad you’re OK. You had me pretty scared for a little bit there.”

“I know. But I’m gonna be fine. OK. So don’t worry.”

“Is that something people do?” Danny asked wryly as he let go and stepped back from the bed.

“A lot of people, yeah.” Steve grinned at him and Danny’s heart flipped at how attached that that smile he’d become.

“I gotta go. Text me when you’re back at the Palace.” He said as he left.

5050505050

“You on your way in?” Danny asked as he jogged up the stairs to the Palace while talking to Steve on the phone.

“Yeah. We’re close. Why? We have somewhere to be?”

“Maybe. We ID’d the kind of fish scales you found on the vic and Kono is running through the different markets now figuring who had deliveries recently. Chin call you?”

“He texted. I think he wasn’t sure he could talk without losing it.”

“I told him and Kono to take all the time they need. But they keep coming back in. Something’s going on there. They’re tense.”

“Their Auntie is dying.”

“Yeah, that’s not what I mean. Something is going on between them. Something more than grief. I think there’s some family drama happening and they might be caught in the middle. Take it from someone who’s seen a shit-ton of family drama.”

“OK. I’ll follow up with Chin later. This isn’t Jersey, y’know. Family problems stay in the family out here. People don’t air their drama for others to see.”

“‘O ia ka ‘oia’i’o, bruddah.” Kamekona agreed, listening to Steve’s side of the conversation and Steve nodded at him. _That’s the truth._

“Secrets and lies are where the truth dies, my friend. Give me an honest fight any day.” _Says the man having an affair with his ex-wife._ Steve thought, but kept that to himself.

“When you run Five-0 we can all go by Jersey rules, but for now, hang loose.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “Just get here so we can go do our jobs. Please.”

“Be there in five.”

5050505050

Danny stood next to the Camaro, sniffing his hands when Steve came out of Morimoto’s restaurant with their ballistic fish in a large plastic bag. Shoving the dead fish at his chest, Steve said, “Hold this and give me the keys.”

“I am not holding that thing and you have a broken arm. You can’t drive.”

Steve pushed it at him harder, “C’mon, it’s heavy. Your car’s an automatic and I can steer with my left hand. Plus I need you to hold the fish.”

“You hold the fish and I’ll drive the car, you psycho.”

“I can’t hold the fish. It’s still wet and the bag is slippery, plus it’s heavy.”

“Then put the fish in the trunk then.”

“You know what, good idea. I just hope all this fish juice that’s leaking out of it doesn’t get on the carpet back there or your car is gonna smell like the docks until the end of time.

“You’re an asshole, you know that?” Danny took the fish and handed Steve the keys, grumbling under his breath.

As they turned the corner towards the parking garage for Iolani Palace, Danny’s cell buzzed. When he twisted to pull it out of his pocket the bag holding the fish opened and some of the water and juices spilled onto his lap.

“Motherfucker!” Danny yelled.

“You kiss Grace with that mouth?” Steve asked.

“Shut your fucking face, you hear me? This is all your fault.”

“My fault? I made you get fish juice on your pants.” He pulled into a parking spot. “You do smell pretty bad though.”

“I hate you so much.”

Steve couldn’t stop himself from smiling. “Why don’t you go home and shower and meet back here.” He dropped the keys in Danny’s hand and grabbed the bag with the fish, lifting it easily.

“Oh now you can hold it?”

With a deadpan look, Steve said, “It’s evidence, Danny.” He got out of the car and walked to the elevator hiding his laugher.

5050505050

Danny’s car still smelled like fish, so he dropped it off at an auto detailer he used regularly and had them drop him at Steve’s because he still had the Silverado’s keys with him. It had provided him with a tiny bit of revenge to watch Steve struggle to get into the large truck when he couldn’t use his right hand to steady himself on the steering wheel for the high step up into the cab. Not that he couldn’t do it. He just wasn’t as smooth as he normally would be.

Back at the office, they pulled out their tac gear before serving the warrant on Rutherford. In order to put on his vest, Steve had to take his arm out of the sling.

“What the hell is that?” Danny shouted at him.

“What?” Steve looked around.

“That!” Danny slapped at Steve’s cast, causing a red-hot flash of pain to burn through Steve’s arm.

“Fuck! That hurts!”

“You know what? Good! You wouldn’t let me sign your cast but you let Kamekona put a five-inch advertisement on it?”

Steve studied his partner’s face. Danny’s feelings were visibly hurt and that brought him up short. Teasing Danny was one thing, but that was never a look he wanted to be responsible for and he knew he needed to unfuck this situation right now.

“When he dropped me off, he told me this was how I should repay his generosity in taking time out of his workday to give me a ride.”

“Are you fucking with me right now? Because I am not in the mood for it.” Danny paced, struggling to control the hurt and anger he was feeling. It felt stupid to be upset about something so trivial, but he did. Especially after their conversation last night that Steve doesn’t remember but he really, really did.

Steve reached out and took hold of Danny’s upper arm. “I’m not fucking with you, I swear. I meant what I told you in the hospital but Kamekona is a business man and I didn’t feel like I could say no.”

“Yet you had no problem saying no to me nine hours ago.”

 _Oh, babe, you have no idea how wrong you are._ He ran his hand over Danny’s back. “After we finish with this, let me make it up to you, huh? I didn’t mean for this to happen and I feel bad. OK? I promise, you mean way more to me than Kamekona, alright?”

When he said it liked that, Danny felt like a petulant child and his jealousy seemed very stupid. “Forget it. This is dumb thing for us to argue about. Are you gonna be able to wear your sling over your vest?”

Steve looked at Danny for moment, trying to gauge if his partner really was over this or was burying his feelings, but he decided they needed to get this suspect in custody, so he took the change in tone as a gift and went with it.

“Even if I could, I don’t want to. If things go sideways, I don’t want to be trussed up like a turkey.”

Danny nodded at him and said, “You’re probably gonna wish you’d taken the Vicodin before the night is over.”

“I got Advil and you. What more do I need?”

5050505050

Once the blue and white pulled away with Rutherford, they where finally free to head out. As they climbed into the truck, Steve said, “Let’s head back to my place and I’ll make you a late dinner.”

“You’re going to cook?”

“I can cook.”

Danny nodded. “OK. Let’s see what you got.”

Once at his house, Steve grilled a couple steaks he had in the fridge and he tossed together a salad. It wasn’t much, but he knew it would taste good. They drank beer and Danny filled Steve in on all the aspects of the case he’d missed. Danny excused himself to the bathroom and Steve started cleaning dishes. He was mostly done when Danny came back in.

“You, uh, ready to take me back home?”

Steve turned off the water and dried his hand before turning around. “Thought maybe you’d like to stay over.”

Danny tilted his head at that. “Why would you think that?”

“Well, uh, I have it on good authority that someone likes my bed. Something about how it smells?”

“You cocksucker.” Danny grinned at him. “You acted like you didn’t remember anything!” Danny punched Steve in shoulder and stood next to him, but not too close. He still wasn’t sure what exactly was happening here.

“Hey, no punching. Even my good arm is tired.”

“I’m sorry.” Danny found himself searching Steve’s face. “But you gotta tell me, how much do you actually remember.”

Steve looked at him with gentle eyes. “I remember all of it. I was kinda embarrassed this morning, because I said things that were...maybe too much? But I also know that I sleep better when you’re with me. Not that I sleep bad otherwise, but it’s...I don’t know...more comfortable. I think it is for you too, sometimes? And... I hurt your feelings today and I didn’t mean to. So keeping you close by feels...I don’t know...it seems like the best way to heal that. Maybe that makes no sense.”

“Kinda, yeah. I mean, I like being near to you too. What I’m struggling with here is...sleeping in the same bed is still...pretty intimate. Even if we’re not...y’ know...it still feels like it means something. It does to me.”

A flush shivered through Steve’s gut. “It does to me too. That’s why it seems important. This is not something I do with any of my other friends. It seems like a way to prove to you that you’re special when you’re feeling like you’re not. Someone else signed my cast, but this...this is only for you.” _And every night you’re here, you’re not with Rachel._

“OK.” Danny put his hands in his pants pockets because they were starting to shake and also because he was starting to get hard and really didn’t want that complicating whatever was going on right now.

“OK? You’ll stay?” That sweet smile Steve had been sporting at random times today lit up again and Danny’s heart glowed with it.

“You said you’d make it up to me and this is how you want to do it. It would very rude to turn down your olive branch.”

They watched the news together first because running to bed after their conversation felt too awkward for both of them. Both men knew they were dancing around something that neither was ready to give life or voice or name to it yet.

For Danny, his biggest reservation continued to be Rachel. If there was a chance that they could bring their marriage back together, he was going to do that. And getting into a physical relationship with Steve wouldn’t only complicate that, but it would be a cruel and terrible thing to do to him if he and Rachel ended up together again.

For Steve, he too was aware that if it came to it, Danny would chose Rachel over him, so this was as far as he was willing to risk right now.

Once the news was over, Steve stood wordlessly, but nodded his head to Danny, indicating he should follow him, which he did.

When they got to the bedroom, Steve looked at the bed and then at Danny. “You call that making the bed?”

“The sheets and blankest are more or less pulled up and there’s a pillow on each side. Besides, aren’t we about to get in it? Why do we care.”

“My drill instructor would tell you to drop and give him 50 for a bed that looked like that.”

“Then it’s a good thing your drill instructor isn’t here,huh?” Danny walked to what, after two nights, he regarded as “his” side of the bed. He unbuttoned his shirt and hung it on the post at the foot of the bed.

“Yeah, no.” Steve said as he picked it up and went to his closet and pulled out a hanger to try and hang the shirt, which was a struggle with one arm in a sling.

“Oh, give it here.” Danny said as he took the hanger and pulled his shirt on it properly.

“Pants too.” Steve said. “You can share my bed but you don’t get to be a slob.”

“My Ma would call you a noodnick, you know that?” Danny pulled out his belt and set it on top of the dresser where Steve was pointing, then took off his pants and folded them and draped them over the bar of the hanger that held his shirt. He then hung it on the hook that was on the back of the bathroom door. It felt like step too far to hang it in Steve’s closet.

Satisfied, Steve pulled off his own pants and t-shirt and tossed them in his hamper along with his socks while Danny tucked his socks into his shoes and set them by the bed.

They both got under the covers at the same time and laid on their backs, staring at the ceiling.

“Not gonna lie, this is awkward.” Danny said.

“Yeah. The last time we did this, I didn’t feel like this.”

“Well, the last time we slept together we were both very tired and I was in a pretty bad place.”

Steve was on the side of the bed that meant he’d have to roll onto his bad arm to face Danny so he settled for rolling his hips to the side and turning his head towards his partner. He punched up his pillow more to help support the odd angle of his head.

“And the time before that, your house was a crime scene, so also pretty chaotic.” Danny rolled to his right side so he could look at Steve. “But this time there’s no crisis or anything. This time it’s a choice.”

“Talking already makes it better though, don’t you think?” Steve rolled more towards Danny and winced, then rolled back.

“Lay on your back, let me...” Danny shifted himself so he was further up the bed and on his belly, scooting his body so he was right alongside Steve’s, and propped himself on his arms with a pillow so he could look down on Steve while they talked.

“Better?” Danny asked.

“Yeah.” Steve answered thickly, his body very attuned to Danny’s closeness and was responding accordingly. He licked his lips and raised his right arm to touch...but hesitated.

“Can I...” Danny gave the slightest of nods and Steve pushed back a lock of Danny’s hair that had fallen forward, then combed his fingers through, causing Danny to visibly shiver. Steve rested his hand on the thick deltoid muscle.

“Was that too much?”

“No. And yes. Whatever is happening right now, it’s not a good idea. I don’t want to hurt you.” Danny’s voice was quiet, yet sincere. Steve’s heart clenched at the confirmation of his deepest fear, but he nodded.

“I understand. I’m still glad you’re here.” He pulled his arm back.

Danny leaned close so his mouth was right next to Steve’s ear. “Me too, babe.” And he placed a soft, sweet kiss on Steve’s cheek. “Sleep well.”

He slid over to his own side of the bed, giving plenty of space for Steve’s arm and cast. Both men fell silent, each struggling with and grateful for, the other’s closeness until they fell asleep.

5050505050

The following morning, Steve showered quick after having Danny wrap his arm in a plastic bag. When he was done, Danny had dressed in his previous day’s clothes and Steve drove him to the auto detailing shop and dropped him off. It was Saturday, but the team agreed to meet at Hilton Head that night for a team dinner and so Danny was going to meet him at his place at 1800.

When he’d woken that morning, he laid there watching Danny sleep and was overcome by how much he loved seeing him beside him. He knew this was never going to be a real thing, at least not for Danny, but he would do whatever he had to do to encourage Danny to be in his bed as much as possible. After leaving him at the shop, Steve headed to the mall. It was impulsive and probably more than a little weird, but he wanted to make sure that whenever Danny happened to end up staying over that he’d be able to have clothes he could wear. When he’d taken his shower, he’d checked Danny’s size before moving the hanger to the other side of the door.

He’d managed to find two pairs of dress pants and a few dress shirts that would work, as well as a pair of jeans, shorts, and swim trunks. Then he got couple different kinds of socks and boxer-briefs. Altogether, it had taken him about an hour to shop for this stuff, but he felt edgy and nervous the whole time, like he was doing something he shouldn’t. Not because there was anything particularly wrong with what he as doing, but everything about it felt both intimate and forbidden. And he felt really nervous about what Danny would think whenever it was that he found out, but he punched that down. Who knew when the next opportunity would present itself? And if that was never, well, he had a stash of birthday or Christmas presents.

Back at the house, he shifted his stuff around so the lowest drawer of his dresser was now “Danny’s”. He spend the rest of the afternoon working on the still on-going repairs to his home from when it has become a ballistic nightmare several months before.

Right on time, Danny arrived ready for dinner. Steve had just changed his shirt and was working to get his sling back on. Danny came over to help, but when he did, he re-read Kamekona’s large inscription and shook his head before sliding the blue fabric over the word.

“Still seems like I have more right to have my name on there since I was with you when it happened and hiked up a very tall mountain to make sure you didn’t die there.”

Smiling at him, Steve said, “How about this, if anyone else is able to guilt me into signing this cast, the offered olive branch is the same.”

Danny gave him a funny look. “So you’re saying that if any one beside me gets to sign your cast, I get to sleep in your bed. Am I understanding you correctly?”

“Exactly.” Steve nodded. Danny’s eyes narrowed on him.

“But it’s also true that you like having me sleep in your bed. So how do I know that you aren’t manipulating things so you can pretend to give me something I want when it’s really what you want?”

“You’re a suspicious motherfucker, you know that.”

“I do, in fact, know that.” Danny agreed.

“Alright. This only applies if someone specifically asks to sign it, and you have right of refusal or to pick an alternate penance on my part if you think it’s necessary.”

“Seems fair. You want to drive...what am I saying? Of course you want to drive. Which car are we taking?”

Steve smirked, “Yours of course. It’s freshly clean.”

“You’re such a dork.”

“Yeah, but you heart me.”

“I do. I heart you.”


	6. S1: E23/24 Ua Hiki Mai Kapalena Pau (Until the End is Near)/Oia’i’o (Truth)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some poison, a bomb, a pregnancy, and a murder. Steve and Danny’ s world is about to crash down around them and there is nothing either can do to stop it. And our little story finally earns its rating.

After securing Sang Min into an isolation cell at the Palace, Steve and Danny were on the road back to Steve’s place, since Danny had picked him up for yesterday’s raid and then Steve had been driving the Camaro ever since. There was a heavy silence that Danny felt responsible for and needed to address.

“You seemed surprised about Rachel earlier, but I did tell you about her.”

“Yeah, but I thought it had been weeks since...” Steve thought back to their night in the interrogation room and the couple times Danny’d stayed at his place in intervening 7 weeks. “You haven’t said anything about her since we talked so I thought...OK, I maybe I assumed things. But seeing her with you last night, it was pretty clear. And I’m happy for you. I know how important your family is to you.”

“I meant what I said to you, babe. You mean a lot to me too. So I don’t want this to...this doesn’t change what you are to me. I want you to know that.”

Steve pulled into his driveway. “You wanna come in for a bit?”

Danny smiled, knowing what was behind that question, but needing to do what he could to protect Steve. “This afternoon, Rachel told me that things have not been going well with Stan. She hasn’t said, but I...I think she’s gonna leave him.”

Steve instantly got the message. “Wow, that’s great, pal. Like I said, that’s wonderful for you and for Grace. Uh, you still want to carpool tomorrow?” He hoped he was able to cover his fear at what it would mean if Danny said no to that too. Cooling off the growing attraction was one thing, that was something that probably needed to happen anyway for the good of Five-0. But no longer driving in together would symbolize that they were truly nothing more than co-workers and Steve wasn’t sure how he would handle that.

“Yeah. Of course.” Danny assured him. “I’ll come by and get you in the morning.”

“Great.” Steve felt some relief, even as his gut was clenching as this added to the stress and pain he’s carried these past two days over Wo Fat and Danny’s near death experience. When Danny had been willing to hug him earlier, that was his only moment of true relief in 48 hours. He left the car idling and they both got out. Danny paused at the front of the car, the headlights creating a halo effect that wasn’t helping Steve push his emotions down.

“Can I get another hug?” Danny asked, feeling like it was all he could offer and maybe that would be enough.

“Always.”

As they embraced, Steve felt his resolve breaking, so he pulled away without looking at Danny and said a tight, “Good-night.” He walked away without looking back, so Danny couldn’t see the redness of his eyes.

5050505050

He saw her leaning against the door of his apartment before he was close enough to talk to her, so he quickened his steps, afraid something was wrong. He could tell Grace wasn’t with her.

“Everything OK, Rache? Where’s Grace?”

“I paid Kakalina extra to stay the night. Stan gets in very early tomorrow and I didn’t want to risk you being at the house, but I needed to see you.”

Danny nodded and unlocked his door. “Won’t he notice you being gone?”

“We’ve paid Kakalina to stay over a couple times before when I’ve had a large project due at work, so he won’t question it.” She watched him put his gun and badge on the table and felt the surge of angry attraction she often felt at those two symbols of his strength and power, as well as her own fear and loss.

“OK. But this still feels a bit reckless. Are you sure...”

With a speed that startled him, she was on him, pulling at his clothes, kissing him...it was a desperate passion he’d only experienced with her a few times before...but his body demanded that he not think because she had him mostly undressed now as she pulled his face towards her breast. His brain kept shoving reminders at him that the last time she displayed this kind of sexual aggressiveness and lust for him was after he’d made her belly slightly rounded...images he squashed because this was definitely not the time for thinking about that.

5050505050

It was with a great deal of dread that Danny drove away from Steve’s place to meet Rachel on Sand Island. Steve’s thinking was not clear but he had hoped he had impressed upon his friend that trying to break into the Governor’s office was the worst possible thing to do right now. If WoFat was working on framing Steve, which everything pointed to, anything he found there would only make proving his innocence harder, especially if he went in there alone. He only needed an hour or so with whatever Rachel needed to talk about. But he hated leaving Steve and hoped his better angels would keep him safe and at home until he could get back.

&&&&&&

“It is not your fault that Laura is dead, Steve.” Danny was trying to manage his anxiety here. He felt like he did when Matty confessed to stealing the money, desperate to fix what was unfixable. “If the Governor is in bed with Wo Fat, then Laura’s on them. Not you.” Danny walked back the couch and sat, trying to get his hands to stop shaking. Why had Steve been so stupid?

“But she was trying to help me, Danny! I can’t let them get a way with this anymore. I have to stop it.”

“OK. But we aren’t going to stop it tonight alright? And if they are setting you up, we have to be even more careful than before, more strategic. Did anyone see you tonight? Could they...do they know you were there?”

“I don’t know.” Steve noticed the two six-packs of beer on the table for the first time. “What is this?”

“I, uh, we...needed to talk and after the week we’ve had, seemed that maybe we could use a little, uh, loosening up.”

“I don’t understand.” Steve’s mind felt scattered and emotions raw, but now a different kind of fear took over.

Danny knew they both needed to some safety right now and desperately wished he didn’t need to add this to bonfire that was raging inside Steve. “We need to secure ourselves. Your room will give us the best vantage point and also gives us an escape route out the roof to the beach. So let’s block ourselves there and then we can talk.”

“No. Tell me what is going on.” Steve paced and Danny stood and took him by the shoulders.

“Stop. You are two steps from losing control and you know it. OK. Regroup here and prioritize. Safety first, information second. You understand me? We are not negotiating here. You fall in line or we’re gonna get rough, you hear me?” Danny’s voice was low and commanding and Steve blinked at him.

“Yeah. Yeah. I hear you. OK.” Steve grabbed Laura’s date book, his phone, and the box with all the items Laura had returned to him from his dad’s toolbox and headed for his room. Danny locked up the front door, set the alarm, grabbed one of the six-packs, and followed.

His original plan was to get Steve a little drunk so he wouldn’t bury his feelings. They needed to lay everything on the table tonight. It wasn’t going to change Danny’s decision, but they didn’t have much time to work through this and he needed Steve open to that process.

Once in Steve’s room, they slid the dresser in front of the door, pulled the heavy drapes closed at the widows, save for one narrow opening on the side where they could look out. Steve pulled out two handguns he kept in the closet and the one in his nightstand and laid them on the dresser, along with extra clips. Danny pulled his tie off, and handed a beer to Steve.

“You go sit and have a drink. I’ll keep watch out the window.”

“I don’t think...”

With cold firmness that still surprised Steve, Danny said, “We are both a little strung out right now, but I’m not messing with you. One beer isn’t gonna impair you. I sent you home to rest earlier and instead you played cat burglar at the Governor’s mansion, so for right now, you’re doing what I tell you.”

Steve nodded, laid his Sig Sauer on the night stand and sat on the edge of the bed. He glanced over at Danny, who was leaning against the wall by the window, eyes moving between him and street, alert and attentive. The fatigue he’d been fighting swooped over him and his body sagged. Danny was here and it was as though every muscle relaxed at once. With a sigh he leaned down and unlaced his boots. Once he kicked them off, he stood and pulled out his belt, emptied all his pockets into the nightstand drawer, and took off his shirt. After propping a pillow against the head board, he climbed onto the bed and twisted off the cap of the beer, taking a few long swallows.

“Alright. What happened with Rachel?” Giving voice to the dreaded question he hadn’t wanted to ask.

“She’s leaving Stan.”

Steve took another drink, watching. That wasn’t news. “And?”

Danny drew a deep breath. “And she’s pregnant.” Danny wanted to suppress his smile at those words but failed.

Steve couldn’t help but smile too, if only because he knew exactly how that news would make his friend feel. “You’re gonna be a Dad again? You’re gonna have a baby?”

“Yeah. I, uh, I never thought I’d have any more kids honestly. Grace is nine and the older she gets, the harder it is to imagine having a baby, plus not like I have someone I expected to have more kids with...so it’s a bit of a shock, but the good kind.”

“Congratulations, man. That’s...that’s incredible news. Is that going to make her divorce harder? She won’t be able to hide your affair now.”

Danny grew serious again. “I don’t know. But this news does bring with it something else.”

Dread fell over Steve again and he couldn’t bring himself to ask.

“She’s telling Stan she’s leaving tomorrow morning and we will head back to Jersey on the red eye.”

Steve’s eyes went wide and panic set in. “You’re leaving tomorrow night?”

Danny crossed the room and sat beside him. “Just to get them settled at my folk’s place for a bit; couple days. Then I’ll fly back and close out my caseload and clean out my apartment. I didn’t intend for this to be so sudden, but for her, everything here is about Stan. His friends, his neighborhood, his company...Her world here is going to judge her harshly because she doesn’t have a network built that is hers. Not the way I do. And I need to be where she and Grace are.” Danny placed a hand on Steve’s leg, who flinched a little.

“Please talk to me, Steve.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Say that we can still be friends.”

 _Friends is easy, Danno. What about..._ “I told you that I would never make you chose between me and Rachel. I meant it. Of course you need to be with your family. I’ll miss you. Probably more than I’ve ever missed anyone, but life goes on, y’know. But I...” He stopped himself. There was no reason to go there. Not now.

“But what?”

“Nothing. It’s...nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

Danny shifted leaned closer, planting a hand on the bed across Steve’s hips, so their faces were close. “I know you want to protect yourself, but I need to hear what you’re really feeling. And you need to say it. Otherwise it’s gonna build a wall between us and I don’t want that. Please. But what?”

Steve searched Danny’s face, wanting there to be some resistance or deception that would give him an excuse to hold back, but all he saw was the same sincerity he saw the last time Danny stayed over...the night after their team dinner at Hilton Head.

“When you came here tonight. Before you knew what I’d done...you were planning something. You don’t travel with 12 bottles of beer normally. That’s not taking the edge off that’s...”

Danny pulled back a little but Steve caught his outside arm and held him where he was. “You want honesty, pal, you’ve got to give it too.”

“I knew this news would land hard. And I wanted to be here, with you, for as long as you needed.”

“You wanted to get drunk and sleep here.” Steve challenged.

“I wanted to make space for whatever you and I needed to do to have some...some closure.”

“What does that mean?” Steve’s voice rose a bit as his sense of frustration grew.

Danny stood up and paced beside the bed. “What does any of this mean? Huh? If you understand it, please, explain it to me. Because I know I’ve never had a friendship like this before and...and...we’ve connected in a way I haven’t ever done, not even Rachel. You’re different. You’ve always been different. So if you know why, tell me.”

Steve drew his feet up and crossed his legs, elbows on his knees. “You pacing like that is making me nervous. Will you come sit?”

Danny nodded. He walked to “his” side of the bed, pulled off his belt, badge, and gun, and pulled his shirt out of his waist as he toed out of his shoes. He climbed on top of the bed, mirroring Steve’s position, his back to the foot of the bed.

“Scoot closer.” Steve asked and Danny did, so their knees were touching. “Danny, remember that night in my kitchen? It was after one of our first cases.”

“I remember.” Danny’s mind filled with memories of Steve’s tongue on his, the tantalizing feel of their cocks rubbing together...

“Then you know what I feel when I’m next to you.” Steve placed a hand on Danny’s arm.

“And you know what I’m saying when I’m offering you closure.” Danny countered.

“But is that what you’re offering? Because from where I sit, it feels like ripping the lid off my Pandora’s box and then leaving me. It feels like anything but closure.”

“Steve, whatever is going to help you, that’s what I want to do.”

“But what about what you want? Do you really want to leave Hawai’i? I know you want to be with your family, but if Rachel made a life here with Stan, why can’t she make a life here with you? I understand she wants to run, I get that. And I know you prefer Jersey. But Jersey doesn’t have Five-0. Jersey doesn’t have me.”

“I want my family together. I also want you. I know that’s wrong and unfair but that is the honest truth.”

Steve clasped Danny behind the neck and drew him into a kiss, tongue stroking as he leaned back and pulled his partner on top of him. Danny’s hands roamed Steve’s bare shoulders as he shifted his weight so his body stretched out and he straddled strong hips still dressed in cargo pants. Steve’s mouth wandered low under his jaw as Danny pulled at the button and zipper at Steve’s waist, reaching in to release and stroke what he found there. Steve moaned deep and pulled at Danny’s shirt, popping buttons in his desperation to get his partner naked. Danny sat back, still running his hand along Steve’s cock as he shook out of his shirt and he let tan hands undo his fly and start to shove the fabric down his hips but the width of Danny’s legs across Steve’s own hips made that impossible. With a growl of frustration, he lifted Danny under the shoulders and flipped him onto his back, then finished pulling the grey slacks and boxers off him. Steve knelt over him as he pulled off his own pants and kicked them to foot of the bed before his mouth was on Danny’s once more. Their lips crashed together as Steve shifted himself between Danny’s thighs again, thrusting along Danny’s length and swallowing the moan that followed.

Steve dropped his hips and pressed his body down so he had full contact, yet wasn’t crushing Danny. He pulled back enough to look at him.

“Have you done this before?”

“Yeah. Not a lot, but yeah. You?”

Steve nodded and put his lips on Danny’s ear licking and sucking around his words. “I’d hoped that was true. How do you want to do this? What do you usually do?”

“Fuck, you keep your tongue in my ear like that and it won’t matter.” Danny was breathing heavy, struggling to control himself.

Steve pushed himself up a little more. “I wish I had the time to learn everything you like.”

Danny gave him a sad look and Steve regretted his words. “I’m sorry. That was...”

“Shh, it’s OK.” Danny ran his fingers along Steve’s cheekbone. “I’ve only ever topped. And I have a suspicion that’s mostly what you do too. But there’s lots of ways to make each other feel good...and that might be less complicated.”

 _So if you don’t fuck me, then you’re not cheating on Rachel._ Steve thought but kept to himself because he did not want this to end and giving voice to that would certainly bring all of this to grinding halt.

So he nodded and started kissing Danny along the neck, moving downward, not fast, but with enough intention for Danny to understand what was coming. Buy the time he had one of Danny’s nipples in his mouth, he felt fingers weave into his hair and surrendered to their guidance, moving on when he felt the gentle tug drawing him lower until the tip of his tongue could draw a jagged line from the small bellybutton, lower, and then he gave a soft, sucking a kiss in the groove of the hip-flexor muscle. He grinned as he felt the head of Danny’s cock tap against his cheek. He looked up into blue eyes so blown open with arousal they were almost black holes.

They maintained eye contact until Steve’s lips tightened around the thick, smooth, dome and then Danny closed his eyes and breathed out a slow, “Fuuuccck.” Steve went to work, sucking him down and rising off, changing pace from fast to slow and cherishing the increasing intensity with which Danny thrashed beneath him. At times Danny tried to hold him and set the pace but Steve refused to allow it, doing this exactly as he wanted. If this was his one chance, he was going to take the opportunity to learn everything he could about how Danny responded to stimuli. Finally, he felt his partner’s surrender and pulled off, but gave quick licks while looking up, almost daring Danny to say something. He didn’t, his face giving him nothing but total acceptance. Danny had one hand behind his head, and the other drew lazy strokes on Steve’s shoulder. They watched one other for while and then Steve sucked him down full and rocked his head in short, fast strokes, keeping the firm pressure as Danny’s groans grew louder until Steve felt his whole body shake and the orgasm flooded his mouth.

Part of why he was glad this wasn’t new to Danny was he wouldn’t worry or care about how the blow job would end. He kissed his way back up to Danny’s mouth and laid next to him, trailing tender kisses from his mouth to his ear and back while his hands roamed over the short, tight torso, gently waiting for Danny to come back from his high.

Danny placed a hand on Steve’s back and pushed down as he started kissing first up one shoulder and then across his back. Steve slid his arms up under the pillow and flattened out on his stomach, spreading his legs apart. He had a feeling what Danny was planning and that told him his friend was more experienced than his “few times” suggested. Made him wonder even more what Danny’s history was and he felt another twinge of sadness mixed with the resignation that if this was all his friend could give, he would accept it.

Danny’s hands massaged lightly down Steve’s back and he trailed his hands with his tongue until he reached the top of his ass, when his touch grew feather light, almost tickling. Reaching under with one hand, he pulled Steve’s cock backward so it pointed down against he bed. Steve groaned with the stretch and the tightness it caused in his balls. Danny licked at the tip, tasting the precum that had been collecting.

“I knew you’d taste good.” Danny said and Steve gave a low moan as that tongue licked up his length and then up the line of his ass. He started to lift his hips in response but Danny’s hands pushed him back down. “Now it’s my turn. You move when I tell you.”

Steve squeezed his eyes and felt tears prick. Danny being firm with him like that was one of his deepest fantasies and he suddenly wasn’t sure that he was going to be OK anymore. “Danny...”

The tone in his voice made Danny stop and he brought his face right beside Steve’s. “What is it. Are you OK?”

Steve rolled to his side. “No.” His voice cracked and a tear fell.

“Was that too far? I’m sorry. I should’ve asked if you’d be alright...” Steve placed his hand over Danny’s mouth.

“Don’t apologize. It’s not too far. But I can’t...You can’t do that and leave. I can’t take it.”

Realization hit Danny and he nodded. “You’re shivering.” He hopped off the bed and pulled down the covers on his side then climbed in and drew Steve to him, so his head was on Danny’s chest.

“I didn’t want this to be complicated.”

Steve gave a pained chuckle. “How on earth was it not going to be complicated?”

“Guess that was a dumb thing to say.”

“I knew what you meant though.”

Danny lifted Steve’s chin with his fingers, “Can I kiss you?” Steve nodded and shifted up. They made out for awhile, tender and slow. Danny dragged his fingers along Steve’s cock, just petting him.

“Will you let me finish what I started? I’ll be gentle this time.”

Steve rolled back a bit, “It’s not about gentle. It’s...”

“I know,” Danny interrupted. “I mean, I’ll be more sensitive to the line I need to not cross.”

“That’s the fucking problem, Danny. I want you to cross that line. God, you have no idea how badly I want that.” He rolled onto his back. “But not this way.”

“I’m fucking this up so much, I know that. What do you want. I feel bad not...” he couldn’t finish his sentence.

Steve looked at him, fatigue and weariness flooded his body. “Can we just... be together? I don’t need...I don’t want anything else right now. I just want you next to me.”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” Danny cuddled up next to him, cheek on Steve’s broad chest as tattooed arms wrapped around Danny’s shoulders.

There were a thousand thoughts he wanted to tell Steve: reassurances, apologies, memories, and gratitude but they all died in his throat.

5050505050

As he sped down the highway, guilt burned like acid through is body. Steve or Rachel. Steve or the Baby. This should be an easy answer. Never, ever, did anything come between him and his family. There was also no way Steve had killed Jamison but it seemed that not even Chin believed that. The look on Steve’s face had cut through to his heart and he knew that Steve’s recklessness was related to Danny’s leaving. Because he acted like a man with nothing to lose. The red in his friend’s eyes told him that Steve didn’t care because he’d already lost everything. And he couldn’t leave him that way. He loved him too much to do that. Steve was his family too.

He tried to call Rachel but her phone was off. He had driven to the airport but the flight to Newark had taken off. They refused to confirm that Rachel and Grace were on board. He tried to push that he was Grace’s father but they said if Grace had left island without his permission then he’d need to speak with an Air Marshal and he didn’t want heat brought on Rachel once they landed.

There was no rational logic to it, but he went back to Steve’s place where he waited until midnight and called his mom. It was still early but he needed to get some sleep and by the time he woke up, Rachel would have landed. He told her to tell Rachel to call him as soon as she could.

He texted Chin to ask if he was still at the precinct and got a call back instead.

“What do you want Danny?” Chin’s voice was gruff and unfriendly.

“I need to talk to Steve. Please. Can you arrange that?”

“The call will be recorded, Danny. You’re not his lawyer.”

He took that in and decided that if anyone wanted to listen to what he had to say, that was fine. “I don’t care.”

Chin shook his head. This whole night was fucked up, but it seemed he was powerless to stop his family and friends from hurting themselves. “I’ll have him call you at this number. But I can’t make him. He’s not said a word since we booked him. Not even to me.”

“He does have the right to remain silent.”

“He does. So be mindful of that if he calls.” Chin hung up.

Danny turned the ringer up as loud as it would go and laid it on the nightstand as he climbed into Steve’s bed. He stared at the ceiling and tried to process what had happened since they’d gotten the call about Steve’s arrest warrant...

The ringer jolted him awake and he grabbed it. “Hello?”

“Chin said you wanted me to call.”

“Yeah.” Danny laid back. Steve’s voice was hoarse. “They’re recording this.”

“I know.”

“I wanted to know you were OK.”

“I’m alive.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“It’s the only answer I have. Are you violating FAA rules right now? You’re not supposed to use your cell on a plane.”

“I’m not on a plane. Missed the flight.”

“Sorry.”

“Not your fault. I knew before I even got to the mansion that I was gonna miss it.”

“What’d Rachel say.”

“Nothing yet.”

“You can catch another flight tomorrow.”

“I’m not going to Jersey.”

“Why the hell not?”

“You’re why the hell not. I told you I would...” he thought better of what he was saying on a recorded call. “You need me.”

“The baby needs you.” Steve said quietly.

“Baby won’t need me for eight months. You need me now.”

“I told you I wasn’t gonna make you choose between Rachel and me. I meant that. I don’t need you. Go to Jersey. Live your life.”

“No.”

“No? Fuck you, Danny. Do what I’m telling you to do.”

“The only authority you had over me was Five-0 and that’s pretty much gone the way of The Beatles, so I don’t have to do a damn thing you tell me. You didn’t make me choose. I made my choice of my own free will. And I’m not leaving this island until you’re OK. You need me the same way I need you. You are my family and you know what I do if my family is in trouble.”

Danny heard Steve give a slight laugh. “Hell hath no fury...”

“Bet your ass. You have a lawyer I can call?”

“Already did. Bail hearing is at 0800, but he doesn’t expect them to grant me that. They’re gonna transfer me to Halawa before noon.”

“What? Why?”

“I’m accused of killing the Governor and I’m a trained special forces operative. I’m a threat.” Steve sighed. “I’d move me there too, Danny. Doesn’t matter.”

“Hell it doesn’t. They gonna at least put you in isolation?”

“Probably.” Danny felt extremely nervous about this. Victor Hess was at Halawa. As were several people they’d put away this year. But he couldn’t talk about that on this call.

“Danny, I’m pretty beat, man.”

“Yeah, OK. I’m gonna figure out how to see you tomorrow.”

“Don’t. I’ll call you. I don’t...I just can’t handle visitors right now.”

“OK. For now.”

Steve smiled at that tiny show of the tenacity he adored so much and it made his heart ache. “Hey Danny?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“Where are you right now?”

“I’m, uh, I’m at your place. I hope that’s OK.”

Steve fought his emotions, trying to keep a tight rein on himself. “It’s OK. It’s what I hoped you’d say.”

“Try to get some sleep.” Danny spoke softly.

“You too.” The call went dead.

Danny plugged the phone to his charger and rolled toward’s Steve side of the bed. Steve laid down on the hard mattress so his back was to the door of his cell. Both men wept into unconsciousness.


	7. S2:E1 Ha’i’ole (Unbreakable)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting Steve out of prison doesn’t mean everything is put back together. There’s a couple new powerful influences in Steve’s life that are going to make how things are with Danny very complicated, not that the boys won’t try.

Danny sat typing on his laptop at the Manoa Public Library near his apartment. It was less distracting than a coffee shop and carried a sense of safety because the people here were either studying or moms with kids looking to kill some time between afternoon naps and dinner. The downside was he had not been aware of the large, bald man until he sat down across from him. Danny drew his foot back and rested on his toe so his ankle holster would be closer to the hand he dropped in his lap.

“Danny Williams?”

“Who’s askin’”

“Relax son. I’m not here to harm you, so whatever concealed weapon you’re reaching for, there’s no need.”

“I’ll relax when I know you are and how you know my name.”

“I’m Joe White. I used to be Steve’s commanding officer. I trained his SEAL unit and oversaw most of his missions in the first few years.”

“You got some ID?”

Joe held up a finger to indicate Danny should be patient and he slowly reached for his wallet. His background research into the young detective told him that Danny was not someone to fuck around with. He pulled out his green Navy ID card and slid it over. Danny picked it up and looked at for moment before sliding it back.

“OK, what do you want?”

“I need to see Steve.”

“Yeah? Well, take a number because he’s not agreed to see anyone since he’s been in Halawa, not even me.”

“I know that. I also know that if there is one person who can persuade him to change his mind, it would be you.”

“You think I haven’t tried? I ask him all the time and he says no.”

“Try harder.”

“Try harder, he says. Look, call the prison. Ask to see him yourself and then talk to me about trying harder.”

“I need to fly under the radar here, son, and if I call directly, Steve could be more at risk than he already is.”

“Risk? What kind of risk?”

“I know you’ve been paying off guards over the past four weeks to ensure Steve stays in protected isolation.”

Danny grew very stiff and his voice low and threatening, “How could you possibly know that?”

Joe ignored the question. “I am here to help Steve. Now, you can help me do that or I will go around you, but I promise, if I have to do that, I will become the biggest wall around Steve McGarrett you’ve ever encountered. And from what I know about you, that matters. So help me help him. Or get left out in cold. Which is it gonna be?”

The two men stared at one another, then Danny looked away, conceding. Joe slid a card across the table. “This is my cell. I need to see him as soon as possible. Tomorrow, preferably. Call when you have it done and I’ll meet you at the prison.”

“That’s it? You’re not going to tell me why you need to see him so badly?”

Joe smiled at him. “Good afternoon.” The man stood and walked away.

5050505050

That evening, he was back in his apartment in the infernal world of holding that happened every time he called the prison, which is why he usually waited for Steve to call him, which he did every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday.

“You OK Danny?” Steve asked, sounding a little breathless.

“Yeah, I’m fine, calm down. I’m fine. But I need to see you. Tomorrow. OK?”

“Danny....”

“I know you haven’t wanted me there and I understand that. I hate it, but I’ve gone along, but this is important. Please. I need to see you.” Danny choked on a sob. He let himself believe it wasn’t emotional manipulation because he often feels like crying after he talks to Steve, but he keeps tight control of himself for Steve’s sake. This time, he gave into it.

“What’s happened Danny?” Steve asked quietly, holding his own fear at bay.

“I can’t talk about it on the phone, OK? Just please tell the duty warden that you’re willing to see me. Will you do that for me? Please?”

“Yeah, OK.” Steve couldn’t tell Danny that he too, was desperate to see him, but he kept him away because he knew that the pain he would feel after Danny left would be far worse than if he didn’t see him at all. Something had happened to push Danny over the edge though, so he gave in.

“Thank-you. I’ll be there for morning visiting hours.”

“Danny, I...” his voice caught, “it will be good to see you.”

“Me too, babe. Me too.” Danny heard the click and called the duty warden that he had become chummy with to set up the visit. The guy would need a few extra hundred to bring Joe White in since there was no lead time for the background check. Once he’d wired the money, he sent the text.

**Tomorrow morning, 0900. Bring ID.**

The reply was instant and consisted of only one word: **Copy**

5050505050

Danny’s anger was boiling in him because he had only been able to see Steve for a few moments when Joe took a over and after Joe left, Steve had gone back into holding without saying anything more to him. Danny hadn’t been allowed to stay in the room while Joe was there, so he also had no idea what Joe and Steve talked about.

Once they were outside, Danny asked, “So what was so important that you had to speak to him today.”

Joe stopped and turned to Danny. “I needed him to remember who he is.”

“Who he is? What does that mean?”

Joe looked hard at Danny. “You planning on rescheduling that plane ticket to Newark?”

Danny gave in to his fury. “You listen to me, motherfucker, I am done playing games with you. Stop talking to me in fuckin’ riddles and give me a straight answer or so help me...”

“Your mom’s name is Clara and your father’s Edward. You graduated from Barringer High School with a 3.3 GPA and from Seton Hall with a 2.8. You’re the second oldest of four children, two boys, two girls. Your younger brother is currently location unknown and under three federal indictments for laundering, embezzlement, and fraud. And you had to take your police academy oral boards twice because the first time you became so argumentative during questioning, they ended the exam early.

“Now, you are not under my command and there are many, many reasons that is a good thing, so I cannot order you to do anything. I’m also not obligated to share anything. But, given your obvious propensity for outburst and violence, I will explain this in small, clear words.

“Steve has stopped fighting. I have my suspicions as to why but honestly, the why isn’t as important as what I need him to do. He’s in danger right now. More than you understand and while I am thankful for your efforts financially here, there are those with much deeper pockets who are going to supersede, probably sooner than we know. So if he is going to survive, he has to be ready to fight and fight hard. Part of that was ensuring he saw you today. He needed to stop hiding.”

Danny stood stoic, taking all this in. “And another part was seeing you in uniform.”

Joe nodded slightly. “He snapped-to the minute he saw me. He needed to remember what he’s endured and what he is capable of. He needed to remember that he is a SEAL.”

“How do you know all this? About me, about what’s about to happen?”

“Your grade point averages aside, you seem like someone who can stop living in your lizard-brain long enough to use your cerebral cortex and figure it out.”

He nodded. “Of course. You’re Naval Intelligence.” Joe stared at him. “Which you are neither going to confirm or deny. I get it.”

“Hopefully now we can proceed with greater unity. For Steve’s sake. I will meet you at Iolani Palace in two hours.” Joe turned and walked away.

“Why? I’m not exactly welcome there right now.” Danny called to Joe, who ignored him.

To himself he said, “I know. Figure it out.” Danny shook his head. “Fucking Navy.”

5050505050

“How long are you going to be mad at me” Steve asked from the backseat of Max’s car as Danny pulled out of the small garage. He gave a short salute to Chin who was getting in the blue and white Steve had stolen so he and Max could go dump it on the opposite side of the island from where they were actually heading.

“I’m not mad at you, Steven.”

“You’re using my full name so you’re definitely mad.”

“I’m concerned. I’m concerned because while Halawa was obviously not the safest place for you, now every cop on the island has orders to take you down by any means necessary and I would really prefer to not watch you die today.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“I’ve been wondering about the timing of Hess’s jump on me. I’ve been at Halawa for a month. Why now? Why not when I first got there? Is it because they want to move up the trial?”

“I, uh, I don’t know. Hess said he had been told to make the hit by WoFat but he didn’t say when he got the order.”

“It’s funny. I knew something was up. Until today, the guards have treated me really good. Almost too good. At first, I thought it was because of Five-0, but as the days went on, that didn’t seem likely. They just let me alone and if they needed to move me or take me to the yard, they were always pretty hands off, and I hardly ever saw other prisoners. They kept me away from everyone. But today I got a guard I’d never seen before. The yard was empty, but the roof sniper wasn’t there. Something changed.”

“WoFat’s reach is pretty far. We’ve known that.”

“Exactly my point, Danny. So what kept his reach at bay until today?”

“No clue.” Danny pulled off the highway onto side streets that would lead to access road that would lead up into the hills.

“Danny...” The sound of Miley Cyrus singing filled the car and Danny was very grateful to his little Monkey for saving him from this conversation.

5050505050

Chin texted for them to meet at Kamekona’s, so Danny took back roads to get down the hill, hoping to stay clear of any HPD vehicles and the officers who might recognize him. He expected Steve to question him again about prison but his partner had come out of Makato’s very subdued.

“You OK, buddy?”

“Yeah.”

“What are you thinking?” Danny kept glancing back in the mirror but Steve was laying on his back, staring at the roof of the car, not meeting his eyes.

“I’m thinking that sometimes there’re things we don’t tell each other.”

“That, uh, that doesn’t sound like a very healthy thing.”

“Alright. You first.”

Danny focused on the road. He didn’t know how Joe White found out about the guard payments but he was _not_ going to tell Steve about them because then Steve would feel obligated to him and he never wanted that.

He realized he’d let the silence go on too long when a quiet voice from the backseat said, “That’s what I thought.”

5050505050

Danny closed the lid on his laptop, picked up the beer Steve had brought him and walked out to the center of the office where everyone was hanging out, leaving his partner and Joe alone. He could only stand so much Navy code-talking over how to handle Hess before it made him want to scream.

Steve started to follow when Joe caught his elbow. “Son, hold up a moment.”

“What is it, sir?”

“I’ve known all there is to know about you since before you could drink. I saw aspects of you that your father couldn’t and I never judged you over it.” Joe looked through the glass to where Danny was sitting next to Kono. “And I’m not judging now. I’m only asking if you’re being careful.”

He followed Joe’s gaze and then looked back. “There’s nothing for you to worry about Joe.”

“I think you’re wrong there. He’s a spitfire, that’s for damn sure. And I’m extremely glad it never fell to me to try and break that boy into a sailor. But tough-talk and tenacity don’t amount to much when it comes down to seeing things through. He has divided loyalties.”

Joe watched as his words landed and he could see the anger in his protégé’s face. “Danny has never been disloyal to me.”

“Not yet. But I have reason to question his fidelity.”

“Listen to me. You don’t know him.” Steve growled but still held his bearing out of respect.

Joe nodded. “Not as well as you. That’s why I’m simply offering the advice to be careful. You’re free to take it or leave it.” He turned and left the office.

Steve waited a bit before rejoining the group. Joe had never treated him different, even after he and Freddie had...gotten close during BUD/S. But he also hadn’t indicated he approved. The man was old-school, but what mattered to him was how good an operative you were, how well you served the mission and accomplished the objective. He couldn’t be expected to understand the nuances of Steve’s relationships or that just because Danny had been ready to leave Hawai’i didn’t mean he wasn’t loyal to him. He’s sacrificed so much for him already. He was certain Danny’d been paying off guards, though he couldn’t prove it.

“STEVE!” Several voices called out, snapping him out of his reverie and he smiled as he went to be with his Ohana as a free man.

5050505050

Danny was staring out the window as Steve drove the Camaro down the highway when he realized Steve had missed his exit.

“Where’re you going, babe? You missed the thing.”

“Going to your place first.”

“My place? Why are we going to my place?”

“So you can pack some stuff.”

“Why? Where am I going?”

“I, uh, thought you might want to stay with me for a couple days.”

“Ahh. So you just decided that. All on your own?”

Steve looked back and forth between the road and Danny, trying to tell if he was kidding or being serious. “You don’t, uh, you don’t want to spend some time together?”

“I do. I want that very much. But it’s nice to be consulted about plans that involve me is all.”

“Okay...”, Steve felt very out of water all of a sudden. Danny’d been begging to see him for weeks and Rachel was going back to Stan, so he had figured this would be what they both wanted.

“Do you, uh, do you have plans or something? I’m sorry for not asking, I just figured you’d tell me if you had something going on.”

“No, no plans.”

“What is happening right now Danny?” Steve was finding himself a little frustrated.

“Well, you’ve been gone...for a while...and now you’re back, and I am very happy about that, please don’t get me wrong. I’m ecstatic about that. And I thought we’d take a moment, at some point, which we obviously haven’t had until now, to talk about how we wanted to...y’know...reconnect.”

“And how is that different from what we’re doing right this second?”

“It’s different because you decided where and how that’s going to happen. You decided. We didn’t decide. That’s the difference.”

“What would you like to do?” Danny smiled but looked away from him. “You’re smiling, what’re you...”

“I’m smiling because I was about to say some very rude words due to what flashed in my mind but I’m too much of a gentleman to say them.”

Steve placed a hand on Danny’s thigh and grinned wide. “I love your rude words, babe. Your rude words are some of my favorite words to hear. C’mon, spill. Give me your rude words, Danno.”

Danny leaned back, looking at over as he wove fingers in-between the ones on his thigh. “Ass was one. Cock was definitely another.” Danny slid Steve’s fingers up firm against his own.

“Those are good words, man. I really, really like those words. What else?”

“There was probably a Fuck in there somewhere.”

“Fuck was definitely part of my plans for you, so it seems that even without asking, we were on the same wavelength here.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Danny said lazily as Steve’s fingers brushed gently against the fabric of his slacks.

“Maybe?” Steve was trying to focus on the road but was also trying to undo Danny’s fly, which was his partner was not helping but also not fighting.

“I guess I’m wondering if your place is where we want to be. I don’t imagine I’m the only one who will be looking for some time with you and I’m kinda not wanting any competition for your attention right now. That was why I’d hoped we would talk first. Maybe find somewhere to be away for a few days.”

“Competition? Who do you expect to be competing with for my time? I’m right here.”

“Lots of people. The team...Joe...”

“Stop. You’re not competing for my attention. You have all of my attention right now, trust me. But if it will ease your anxiety, I think I know something that will work. I’ll drop you at home to pack and then pick you back up once I’ve grabbed a few things?”

“Nope. I am not letting you out of my sight for at least, 48, 72 hours. Minimum.”

“Alright, you win.” Steve kept smiling as he tapped the number for Kamekona whose family had a cabin that he rented out occasionally.

5050505050

After grabbing clothes, food, and a quick stop at a drug store for...other supplies, it was almost midnight by the time they reached the cabin. Danny had texted Chin before they lost cell service that he and Steve would be off the grid for a few days and then Steve had asked Danny to text Joe the same thing, who replied with his usual **Copy**.

“I don’t think your former commanding officer likes me very much.” Danny said as they dropped bags on the bed and table and then opened up doors and windows to air out the one-room, rustic cabin. It had electricity but no water to the cabin. There was an outbuilding that had a privy and a huge water-collection bin with a spigot for them to fill water jugs or a basin for cleaning. They’d also brought biodegradable cleaning wipes with them.

“Joe just doesn’t know you yet.” Steve answered absently as he grabbed a broom to sweep up the layer of dust on the floor.

“No, you’re wrong. He knows me very well actually. Knows the names of my parents, where I went to school, even my high school GPA. I’m pretty confident he knows my blood type and the name of the doc who delivered me.”

“He did background on you? He told you that?”

“Yeah. It was creepy.”

“Well, if he went that deep and still kept you on the op, then that’s proof he trusts you.”

Danny dropped onto the small sofa that was across the room from the bed and next to the two-person dinner table. “Trusting me and liking me are not the same thing.”

Steve straddled Danny, and sat on his lap. “Most people don’t like you at first. Don’t take it personal.”

“Shut up, asshole. I’m a fucking delight.”

“You’re my delight.” Steve wrapped his arms around Danny and rolled them so Danny was on top, kissing him as he pulled off the t-shirt Danny had changed into before they left. He kissed down his chest and latched on to one nipple, sucking hard.

Danny ground his hips in response, holding Steve’s head against him. “Fuck, that’s... yeah.” He leaned back against the strong hands and arms that were at his back, knowing they would support him as he pulled way so Steve would have to suck harder to stay connected. Steve held on with his teeth, biting just enough to sting and then lapped at the hard bud with his tongue. Danny pulled at his other nipple, as he kept rocking until Steve put his hands on his hips stilling him as he pulled back, panting.

“Too much?” Danny asked, running a thumb against Steve’s lower lip, and then sliding his thumb inside. Steve sucked on it with pure instinct for a moment and then Danny withdrew and slid off of Steve’s lap, knees to the floor as he reached for the button at the top of tan cargo pants.

“I have a debt to pay.” Danny said, as his fingers worked the fly open while Steve brushed his fingers through the short curly hairs along Danny’s arm.

“We are not going to keep tabs, babe.”

He looked at Steve with some seriousness. “After this, yeah, that’s fine. But I’ve carried this for several weeks and I need us to start here. OK?”

“No argument from me. Dreaming of your mouth on me got me through some rough nights.” Steve, slid his pants down to mid-thigh and gazed with hunger as Danny licked him from balls to tip, then ran his tongue around the ridge, swiping up and flicking the tip into the slit, just a tiny bit; the nerve endings sang though him and he groaned. Danny’s eyes sparkled at him as those lips enveloped just the head while Danny’s hand had a firm grip on his shaft, holding but not stroking. Steve gave a tiny thrust and Danny’s teeth were suddenly on him with just a tiny bit of pressure in warning. He got the message and held still.

Danny sucked him all the way back and he could feel his tip hit the smooth area where the roof of his mouth ended and his throat began. Danny choked a little, adjusted and then Steve was being dragged slow along soft lips before Danny swallowed him down again. This teasing mix dance of speed and pressure continued and Steve’s head fell to the side as he watched, and savored the way Danny took him in. He was as hard as he could get and he watched the veins on his cock thicken each time Danny pulled off.

Fingers ran through blond hair, not to hold or controlling, just touching, connecting. This was Danny wanting to give him something and he was not going to interfere. Another time, he might take hold and fuck Danny’s mouth, but this was not that kind of moment and he understood that. Their last night together, when both of them thought Danny was leaving but before Steve was in handcuffs, and been emotionally raw and painful. This was Danny wanting to heal that, even if Steve had forgiven him for it long ago.

His partner had just the head of his cock in his mouth now, bouncing it in short strokes against his tongue as his hand echoed on his shaft. The intense pressure at his head with the quick strokes on his length was building him very quickly, which Danny seemed to sense.

“Oh, God, don’t fucking stop.” He couldn’t control the thrust of his hips now as his climax built and then endorphins flooded him as he came. Danny swallowed with ease and then kept licking all around his head until Steve couldn’t stand it and had to pull Danny away.

“You’re amazing at that.”

Danny wiped his mouth against the leg of Steve’s pants. “I had a really good teacher.”

Steve pulled his pants back up. “Really? I want to know this story. I wondered after last time. Most guys don’t go straight for the ass like you did. Not until they’ve done this a while. How many guys have you been with?”

Danny got up and sat on the couch next to him. “Not counting you, three but all were isolated events. I’ve never been in a relationship with a man before. How many have you had?”

“More than three.”

“You little slut.” Danny teased.

With a quick kiss, Steve said, “I’m gonna get us some beers and you’re gonna talk while we unpack.” He got up, popped open a Longboard and handed it to Danny, then started putting their food in the fridge and cupboards. Danny set their two duffels on the sideboard by the bed and walked to the kitchenette area to help.

“I’d been a patrol officer for about two years when the lieutenant called me into his office before my shift one evening. I was still on the night shift because I was low seniority. He asked me if I was wiling to do some undercover work. I said of course, but was surprised because there were other guys who had been doing patrol longer that I knew wanted vice. Gambling rings are so big along the Shore there’s a whole sub-unit in vice dedicated only to that.

“The LT told me that they’d been trying to get in at a hard-core strip club that was known for male and female prostitution as well as laundering money for several underground big-money gambling outfits. But cops were always getting made because they weren’t willing to “go gay”. His words, not mine. I guess he’d seen me bring in a couple of male hookers and since I’m not an asshole and treated them like people, the LT thought I’d be a good candidate. Apparently treating male sex workers with decency means you’re gay in Brick City.

“But getting in with vice after only two years on the street was unheard of and at the time, I didn’t really know what I was getting into, so I said yes. I figured kissing was kissing and my girlfriend in college let me fuck her ass once so I knew what that felt like; how hard could it be?”

Steve laughed out loud. “Are you serious right now? Please tell me you’re not serious.”

Danny polished off his beer, “Just wait, it gets better.”

Handing his partner another one, Steve said, “Oh, God, I hope so.”

“Alright, I’m young and dumb but I am smart enough to reach out to my roommate from college who had come out our Senior year. Seton Hall is Catholic, y’know, and at that time, less friendly to LGBT students than I think they are now. That last year, I helped him stay under the radar as he had settled in with a long-term guy.

“Turns out, Rick wasn’t with that guy anymore and so when I explained what I’d volunteered for, his reaction was pretty much the same as the one you just gave me, so it was dawning on me that I may have fucked up a little and that scared me because one of the cops they’d made ended up on permanent disability after they shot out both his knees. So Rick offered to have me over for an ‘educational retreat’.”

“An ‘educational retreat’?” Steve asked, transfixed by this story. “What is that?”

“It was me at his place from Friday night through Monday morning learning everything there was to know about gay sex.”

“Everything, everything? Like what did you do?”

“I mean pretty much everything. We started out slow and pretty vanilla, because I was nervous and I’d never been attracted to Rick, but the whole point was getting to a place I could fake it convincingly. By Saturday morning though, I was feeling something I’d not encountered before. Rick was really patient and thoughtful with me and he made me feel so, so, good. It was like I’d locked away this aspect of life out of, I don’t know, fear or conditioning, and once that wall was down, it seemed ridiculous that it had ever existed in the first place. I wasn’t in love with Rick, but we had a great time.”

Steve walked to the front and back doors and pulled them closed, leaving a couple windows open for the breeze and went to the bed, sliding out a Rubbermaid box from underneath that held the sheets, blankets and pillows. He started to pull them out and waved Danny over. “Keep talking. This is fascinating and I need more details.”

Polishing of the rest of his beer and enjoying the slight buzz in his brain, Danny walked over to help make the bed and said, “You just want to know my skill-set.”

“Yes, yes I do.” Steve smiled. Once the bottom sheet was on, they stretched out the top sheet and a quilt, then folded it back to the bottom of the bed. Steve stripped bare and laid down, propping his head on one hand. “More, man. I need more intel here.”

Danny stayed standing, eyes roaming over Steve from head to toe. “God, you’re gorgeous.”

“Thanks, but you’re overdressed there, babe.”

“I know. It’s a rush huh? That was one of the things I learned. Over twelve hours that weekend, I was completely naked the whole time while Rick was fully dressed. It was intense to be on the receiving end of his focus like that, being vulnerable, coming to terms with my own body.”

“Is that why you’re not at all bashful about being naked now? When we surf or are cleaning up at the precinct, it’s like you don’t even know you’re naked. But I take my shirt off and you get goofy.”

“Have you seen yourself without a shirt?” Danny asked, with a bit of a sway as he sat on the bed.

“Yeah, but clearly not the way you do.” Steve smiled. “Are you seriously not going to take your pants off?” Danny’s shirt was still off from earlier.

“ _I’m_ not...” he answered, the invitation clear. Steve pushed him back on the bed and leaned over him. He was about to unbutton his jeans when Danny said, “You can do anything you need to to get them off, but you can’t use your hands.”

Steve’s eyes blew wide with arousal as he looked at Danny. “You’re gonna be the death of me.”

“Not even remotely true. Come on, babe, you can do this.” He encouraged.

Steve kissed him and then trailed his lips to the spot on Danny’s ear he remembered he liked before moving lower. Thankfully Danny’s didn’t have a belt on (their guns each in the side pockets of their duffels), so he took a firm hold of the corner of denim at the top of his fly with his teeth and pulled, popping the button. The zipper was trickier, taking a few tries to lift it with his tongue but it would fall back before he could get his teeth on it. Eventually, he got it and felt triumphant as pulled the zipper down and sat back, needing to problem solve.

Danny watched him, grinning but providing zero help. “I can’t touch your clothes but I can touch you, right?” Danny nodded.

“Can I touch myself?” Danny gave him a slightly puzzled look.

“Yeah, I guess that’s fair.” Steve smiled because now he had a plan.

“You have to move more to the center of the bed.” Danny complied. Steve then straddled his abdomen, back to Danny’s face.

“No cheating.” Danny cautioned.

“I never cheat.” Steve assured him.

He was grateful Danny had normal boxers on because this would have been harder with a tighter waistband like on boxer-briefs, but Danny’s erection was long enough that it pushed into his waist band, creating a gap. Steve shivered recalling the first time he saw that happen. He’d barely known Danny a month back then.

On his knees, he held his own cock and slid it into that gap, right along Danny’s erection. He kept going, which forced the boxers down just enough that the fly on the jeans flared open and about half of Danny’s cock was out. Then, just because he could, he thrust, gliding their cocks along one another for a bit. He felt Danny’s hand at his ass, fingers stroking up the crease and he groaned, really wanting that but not yet. He pulled back and then turned around so he was once again straddling him but this time facing Danny. He slid back, his legs firm against his partner as the fabric at Danny’s hips caught against the inner flesh of Steve’s thighs. He increased the pressure as he splayed his hands under Danny’s ribs and used all the strength in his arms and back to lift Danny off and up the bed, grimacing a little as the denim burned agains his thighs as the jeans pulled down past Danny’s ass.

Setting him back on the bed, Danny gasped a little. “That was unexpected. And insanely hot.”

Moving up, Steve kneeled over Danny’s face, who lapped at his balls with his tongue and asked, “How is this getting my pants off?”

“It’s not. I just wanted to see what you’d do.” He answered playfully before placing his fists on either side of Danny’s head, balancing on his arms as he hooked the large toe on each foot on the inside of the now bunched fabric and stretched out his legs down the length of Danny’s body, forcing his pants off the rest of the way. He propped himself on his elbows with a cocky grin.

“Mission accomplished.” He whispered as he kissed Danny again. “How’d I do?”

“Extra bonus points for creativity, definitely. How was that for you?”

“I’ve never had anyone play with me like that in bed. You gave me challenge, listed the parameters and limitations and let me solve it. I loved it. Makes me wonder how much time you and Joe White actually spent together.”

“None, that man is a stalker. It was something I thought about while you were gone. Seemed like fun and something you’d get into.”

The idea that Danny had put that kind of thought into their time together was blowing his mind. He rolled them so Danny was on top and he stroked along his temple. “So, besides Rick, who were the other two guys?”

“They were during the cover. Remember when I told you I had to do some things to maintain my cover that weren’t always pretty? That sting was one of those. So I’d rather not talk about it. Not when we’re like this. Maybe some day, but it wasn’t great.”

“I’m sorry.” Steve kept petting him and Danny shivered.

“Forget it. It was a long time ago.”

“Were you with Rachel then?”

“We were engaged but not married yet.”

“What did she say about all that?”

“Nothing. Never told her.”

“So, she doesn’t know that you...”

“No. The sting was over before we were married and it never came up again.” Danny yawned a little. It was now after 0100.

“You wanna sleep or go a little more?”

“Will you be mad if I say sleep? The beer was probably a bad idea if you wanted me revvin’ all night.”

“We have days, so it’s good.”

Danny reached back and pulled the covers over them. He rolled on to his side and Steve did too, wrapping an arm around his man, fingers drawing lazy circles on his chest.

“You’re a good big spoon.”

“You’re a better little spoon.”

“You are never allowed to call me that again.” Danny nestled back even more.

“You started it.” He waited for a comeback but heard only Danny’s quiet snores instead.

50505050

The first streams of light hit ceiling when there was a knock on the cabin door that startled Steve awake. He held still and waited. Another knock, harder and louder. Steve shook Danny and whispered in his ear.

“Danny, wake up. We got company.”

Danny rolled off the bed into a squat, reaching for Steve’s duffle first, quietly moving it to the bed. He then reached into his own, pulling his gun first and a pair of shorts second. He set the gun on the bed and quickly pulled on his shorts. Steve had already done the same and had crossed the room so he stood on the hinge side of the door. Danny stayed behind the bed, gun pointing at the door and nodded.

“Who’s there?” Steve said loudly.

“Steve, it’s Chin.”

Danny sagged, then stood up. Steve opened the door, gun still in his hand.

“Sorry guys. Governor called me late last night when you weren’t answering your cells. He wants Steve in his office by 0900.”

“What on earth for?” Danny asked, frustrated that there may be nowhere that they could go to actually have space together.

“I tried to tell him that you two had taken off for few days but he was adamant that if Five-0 was going to continue, McGarrett had to be there. He offered to send State Patrol but I figured you’d rather it was me. Just in case.”

“In case of what?” Danny asked. Chin gave him a look and Danny waved him off. “Never mind.”

“I appreciate you coming all this way, Chin. We’ll pack up and be out soon. Would you mind emailing the Governor and letting him know I will make his meeting?”

“You bet. I am sorry.”

“Not your fault. We appreciate the effort you made, really.”

“Aloha” They heard Chin start up his bike and both wondered how it was the loud engine hadn’t woken them up when he arrived.

“Don’t be mad.” Steve said, pulling Danny to him.

“Not mad at you. Governor Denning can suck my dick though.”

“Uh-uh. That’s my job.” Danny laughed. “Love your laugh. And since this is kinda my fault, I’ll make it up to you.”

“Oh yeah, how?”

“You get to drive back.”

“That is very magnanimous of you, letting me drive my own car.”

“I’m a giver.”

“Giver of headaches and blue balls, that’s what you are.” Steve hugged him tight as Danny tried to wrestle away. Steve would have loved to have played more, but he knew he’d need to shower and dress for his meeting, so they had to get going.


	8. S2: E2: Ua Lawe Wale (Taken)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five-0 has been saddled with a new partner/babysitter/spy and Steve does not react well to the intrusion in his team, especially when he’s carrying a heavy weight around the fate of one of his original Ohana. The scrutiny being placed on Five-0 leads Steve and Danny to set some boundaries for themselves.

Danny wished he’d taken a Dramamine that morning because Steve’s driving today was pushing his occasional motion sickness into the uncomfortable range. His commander was being pushy about this case, which he understood because they were on the clock to find Jenn and get her medications to her, never mind getting her away from whoever kidnapped her. There was more going on here though and their new hire seemed at the center of it.

“So what’s really your problem with New Girl?”

“I think a better questions is why you _don’t_ have a problem with New Girl. Huh? Your tongue practically panted at her when you met her and...and...then you told Chin she was beautiful.”

“She is beautiful. What’s more I know you know that. It’s an objective fact. And I was nice to her because you were rude.”

“Yeah, well maybe I have a reason to be. Huh? You think about that?”

“I did. Which is why I asked what your problem with her was not even 45 seconds ago.”

“I can’t do this Danny.”

“Do what?”

“This. Fight with you while we are at work.”

“Seriously? You mean it? Halle-fucking-lujah. Of course you realize we argue all the time. It’s practically our Love Language.”

“I mean...I can’t talk about things that are gonna bring up stuff between us. The personal stuff.”

“So whatever is going on with Lori is personal?” Danny looked at him. “Because you think I flirted with her? That’s why it’s personal?

“Yeah.” Steve kneaded his hands on the steering wheel, one of his tells that he is upset.

“Well, we’re for sure gonna talk about why it is you think I would literally roll out of bed with you and then try to hook up with the new chick three hours later.”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about! These are not conversations we can have at work, alright? We can’t bring this shit up here. I can’t handle it. So will you please table this until later?”

“OK.” They drove the rest of the way to Porter’s house in silence.

5050505050

Once they’d found Jenn, Steve and Lori had taken the plane and flown her to the hospital. Danny had stayed at the compound to wait for the State police to arrive and then he needed to bring their horses back to the guy they’d borrowed them from and catch a charter back to Honolulu. As he rode along with the other two horses in tow behind, he thought more about how Steve had reacted when he tried to talk about Lori.

She wasn’t the first person to be around them and make a comment about how he and Steve were married but today it bugged him. Both he and Steve had fallen silent after she said that because while most people said it as a way to express their discomfort or annoyance at them arguing, right now it felt like a spotlight was shining on something they weren’t ready to bring out to everyone.

Maybe Steve was right. Workplace romances were never a good idea, generally. But he and Steve were not just co-workers. They had become way more than even boyfriends, a term that sounded stupid in his head as he thought it. He felt a strong bond with Chin and Kono as well. The four of them were under each other’s skin, tethered from the intensity of the past year, which is why having Kono gone right now was messing with all of them. Between just getting Steve back, all the IA stuff with Chin’s uncle and what was happening to Kono... Especially when it was all of them participated in breaking into the asset-forfeiture locker. Kono was taking the hit for all of them. Something that each man carried heavy guilt about, but he knew Steve would punish himself for in particular.

Then there was Rachel. They were back to only talking through Grace, which he hated because the kid did not deserve to be the go-between for her parents. He hadn’t even seen his daughter since they left and he knew Rachel was staying in Jersey longer than she needed to as a way of hurting him. He felt he deserved to be punished by her, but not by using Grace. That was the worst way to break him and Rachel knew it.

Maybe circumstances had pushed him and Steve to a place they just weren’t ready for. For his part, he was not ready to be open with even Chin and Kono about what was going on. Chin obviously had some suspicions based on his comments at the cabin, but that’s not the same as everyone knowing he and Steve were a real couple. Especially since they weren’t. Not even to each other.

He kicked the horse into a faster walk, really wanting to get back. Until he could talk to Steve, his thoughts were not going to take him anywhere good.

5050505050

They stood by the comms table watching the news conference and Captain Fryer’s smarmy face deliver Kono’s fate. Steve rocked, unable to hold his bearing. Danny clicked the TV off. Steve walked into his office and slammed the door hard enough that everything shook. Through the glass, Danny saw him pick up his coffee cup off the desk an throw it at the wall, shattering it.

Turning to Lori he said, “I’m sorry about this but you need to go home. OK? I don’t want you take this personally, but it’s better if you’re not here right now.”

“I’m not here to replace her.” Lori protested.

Danny grimaced and clapped his hands together. “That may be true, but right now, in this moment, it feels that way. That’s not your fault, but I can’t handle what’s happening in there with you out here. And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I outrank you so I am ordering you to go home. Now.”

“Yes, sir.” Lori said dryly, but she grabbed her briefcase and left.

Danny entered to find Steve on the floor in the corner, his head in his hands. He walked over and slid down the wall next to him, mimicking his posture, sides touching. They didn’t talk, they just sat. After a long while, Steve banged his head back against the wall hard, a tear falling down his cheek.

“I don’t know how to fix this, Danny. I don’t know what to do.”

“I don’t think we can.”

“Weston’s here to rat on us to Denning. We can’t trust her, but now we’re down Kono and Jenna, so I have to use her. But I don’t want her here.”

“Sex scandal? We bring her in for a threesome, have Chin take dirty photos? Tell her we’ll send ‘em to her boss at DHS...” Danny bumped against him, trying to get him to smile, which Steve did, a little.

“Remind me to never get on your bad side, pal. You are ruthless.” He reached over and punched Danny’s shoulder lightly, and Danny grew serious again.

“Maybe once the media heat about Five-0 dies down we can talk the Governor into bringing her back. After all, Jamison let us bring in Chin after he’d been run out of HPD.”

“Except Jamison allowed Chin precisely because she thought he might actually be dirty. Denning is Mr. By-the-Book and he’s watching everything we do with eagle-eyes and his little spy-on-the-inside.”

“Not much of spy when we all know she’s there.” Danny offered wryly.

“I guess.”

“You know, the best way to turn a spy is to get in bed with ‘em.” Danny offered.

“Excuse me?”

“Not sayin’ literally. But I’ve been thinking about our conversation earlier and I think you’re right that we need to compartmentalize a bit. Keep us in the deep background and live our visible lives as we would normally. Make nice with the new girl. Get her to like you.”

“I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“I’m saying maybe the best way to control what she spills to the Governor is to bring her closer, not freeze her out. As for us, when we are at work, we’re partners, best friends, teammates only. I mean, are you wanting to bring this out into the open, where we could have HR hassles and publicity issues?”

“Not really. Not because my feelings for you aren’t real, but the team is in a precarious place...”

Danny nodded. “I agree. That’s what I came to understand today too. What’s between us, stays between us. But there are enough people who know us that we can’t suddenly stop flirting with women or going on dates.”

“I’m not going to like that, but I do see what you mean. But what if...what if one of us actually falls in love with someone?”

“I think we have to cross that bridge when we get there. For now, we’re like, uh, what was that movie that just came out...Friends with Benefits. That’s what we are.”

“You come with benefits?” Steve smirked.

“I do, in fact. Like how tonight we’re gonna go get take out, a bottle of Jack, and go to your place so I can get you drunk and have my way with you.”

“Those sound like some good benefits.” Steve agreed.

5050505050

Most of the Pad Thai was gone and they’d each downed two shots, one for Kono and the other for Steve’s homecoming. Now they were sitting on Steve’s bed, both wearing only cotton shorts and passing the whiskey bottle between them as they talked.

“You have to tell me more about your ‘educational’ weekend with, Mick?”

“Rick.”

“Right. When did it go from vanilla to other stuff?”

“With my lack of experience, definitely when he rimmed me the first time. I had no clue that was a thing.”

“Had he prepped you for that?” Steve took a another swig of the whiskey and set it aside. He needed to stop for a while if didn’t want to pass out.

“Yeah, but I didn’t know it. The first night had been really easy; kissing, blowjobs, lots of touching. Then in the morning we took a shower, so that’s when he took the time to get us both cleaned up, I just thought he was being really thorough.”

“BabyGay Danny sounds adorable.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

“So he rimmed you but then didn’t top you? You said you’ve only topped.”

“Yeah. I let him do a lot of shit to my ass with his fingers and toys, but I couldn’t cross that line. I think he was relieved actually. Not sure. He let me top him though, once I was well schooled in how to prepare him. All that was what Saturday was for. I felt pretty comfortable with him by then so Sunday was more on the extreme side of things. I hadn’t thought that was necessary but in a moment of forgetfulness, I let slip which club I was trying to case and he knew what it was like. He told me that I needed to be ready for the darker side.”

“Did he hurt you?” Steve asked, feeling incredibly protective suddenly.

“Not in any way I didn’t agree to. But this is making you have grumbly-face so enough story time.” Danny leaned forward, pushing Steve onto his back, kissing and grinding against him until they were both fully hard and breathless.

“How are we gonna do this?” Danny asked.

“Which do you want?” Steve wrapped his arms around Danny’s back, holding him close.

“Pretty sure I’ve communicated my experience.”

“You have, but I’m not making any presumptions here.”

“Am I right that you mostly top too?”

“Yeah. But I’m not unwilling to bottom and I’ve done it before.”

“I’m willing too. I wasn’t then, but I am with you.”

“Really?” Steve gave a start, surprised.

“Dreamed about it every night you were gone.”

Steve squeezed tighter and growled as he thrusted against Danny with sudden ferocity. “Fucking End. Of. Me” Steve spoke deeply as he rolled them and pulled Danny’s shorts off. Grabbing a pillow, he propped it under Danny’s hips and pushed his legs wide as he kneeled behind him, pulling Danny’s hips up onto his lap and stroked the soft skin from balls to tight hole with he pads of his fingers, petting the warm flesh as he watched Danny’s response.

Danny rolled his hips higher craving more touch. “You OK?” Steve asked.

“Fuck yeah.” Danny closed his eyes tilted his head back, the whiskey making his arms feel like jelly and his head spin a little. When he felt the wet heat of Steve’s tongue against his flesh he moaned low and long. “Fuck, Steve, that’s...” he struggled with words as his hands fisted the sheets while Steve’s continued to lick and suck at his tenderest spot until he felt Steve’s tongue breach him. “Ahh, Oh God” he panted.

Steve had shifted to laying between Danny’s legs though he continued to watch his partner, ensuring he was feeling all pleasure and no pain, the raw intimacy of what he was doing flooding him with emotion. This was not an act he did with most of his partners because it was just too personal, too vulnerable. Penetrating someone with his tongue was a very rare act for him, but he’d been desperate to do it to Danny for months because he knew this would bond them together in a way almost no other sex act would.

When Danny’s keening breaths became ragged, Steve sat up and pulled lube from his drawer and went back to kneeling between Danny’s legs. He started slow, with just a finger, but Danny quickly demanded more, especially after he started to curl his fingertips and brush along the gland that made Danny moan louder.

He could see the bubbles of clear liquid pooling at the top of Danny’s cock and leaned down to lick them off which made him cry out, “Oh fuck, Steve. Please. I need...”

Steve lubed himself up and said, “You tell me to stop if it hurts OK? Promise me.”

“Just fuck me already.” Danny didn’t care, he just wanted Steve inside him.

“No.” Steve leaned forward, planting gentle, tender kisses along his lips, neck and ears as he whispered, “I’m not going to fuck you, Danny. I’m expanding the connection we have together.”

Their eyes met. “Every time you look at me, I want you to remember this moment.” Steve kept eye contact as he pushed in with exquisite control, watching close as Danny reacted to what was happening. When his eyes crinkled a tiny bit, Steve stilled, waiting until he could feel Danny relax underneath him once more. He cherished each tantalizing millimeter as he moved further inside until he was all the way in and Danny pulled in deep breaths.

Reaching up to brush fingers along Steve’s cheek, Danny whispered, “You were worth waiting for.”

Steve buried his face in Danny’s neck, wanting to hide his emotions as he started to pull out a little and then sank back in, over and over as deep groans echoed in his ear. He’d sucked tiny red spots into the flesh, sucking harder as his pace stepped up, the tight grip on his cock starting to overtake him. He pushed up and took a hold of Danny’s leaking cock, pumping in time with his own rhythm. The closer he brought Danny to the finish, the more his partner’s torso undulated and arched. Steve slowed his own thrusts so he could focus on Danny’s climax, holding him in such a way that when he came, it would hit more of him than Danny, wanting it to mark him. As spurts of come landed on his belly, Steve’s lust overtook him and he pistoned himself in hard, fast strokes until his orgasm dropped him and he collapsed forward, touching his forehead and nose to Danny’s and said, “I love you, Danno.”

Danny pushed against Steve’s shoulder getting his partner to roll on his back. Danny wiped the wet from Steve’s eyes and kissed him tenderly until Steve’s eyes were heavy and he fell asleep.

Danny snuggled up close, pulling the blankets over them and Danny rested his head on Steve’s chest, trying to maintain as much body contact as he could, hoping Steve could feel what Danny could not yet say with words.


	9. S2: E4 Mea Makamae (Treasure)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny meets an attractive historian and Lori keeps causing headaches for Steve.

Steve watched Catherine walk away for a moment before turning to head back to the car. Danny was sitting on the hood, a bemused look on his face.

“Thought you were waiting in the car.” He said as he walked closer and stood in front of his partner.

“Oh, well, you forgot to roll the window’s down a crack so I could breathe.” Danny stuck his tongue out and panted like a dog for second and then rolled his eyes.

“You were spying on me?”

“Governor’s proxy is clearly making you paranoid. What’s next? You gonna wrap tin foil around your head.”

“I’m not paranoid, Danny. You got out of the car to follow me. I’m not an idiot.”

“Of course I followed you. You didn’t say who you were meeting, so I needed to make sure you weren’t gonna need back-up. Once I saw you talking to your Ramboette, I came back here. And whatever little side-mission you have going that you’re not telling me about is fine but my job is to have your back and I will do that job no matter how pigheaded you are.”

“OK.” Steve conceded and walked to the driver’s side door.

“That’s it?” Danny hopped off the hood and went to passenger door.

“Yeah. What? You want me send you flowers or something? Your point was valid. That’s all.”

Steve started the car and they drove on in silence for a bit when Steve said, “I didn’t ask her to dinner.”

“I didn’t say you had.”

“No, I’m telling you I didn’t ask her to dinner and she noticed. Usually when I’ve used her as an intelligence resource, I thank her by asking her to dinner. But this time I didn’t and she noticed.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Why do you think?”

“Because of me?”

“Yeah. I mean, I think so. It wasn’t like I consciously thought, ‘Don’t ask Cath out, you’re with Danny now.’ I gave her the journal you found to see if she could figure out the codes in it and was just focused on the case, I guess. Asking her out...it wasn’t even in my head. And she noticed.”

“Are you having second thoughts about what we talked about? About keeping us on the down low?”

“No. I’m not. I’m just acknowledging that it’s hard. Seeing you flirt with the museum lady...then you getting jealous about Cath...”

“Hold on. You, my friend, were the jealous one. All I did was get out of the car.”

“Oh, please. You are just as jealous of Catherine as I feel about Dr....what’s her name...”

“Dr. Gabrielle Asano, which I don’t believe for one second you don’t remember.”

“Whatever. Can we at least be honest about this? Please?”

“Do you want me to ask her out? Because that’s what it seemed like you wanted me to do before.”

“No. Yes. I don’t know.”

Danny gave no response because this was all becoming more complicated than he thought it would be and he suddenly had a headache.

“If I wasn’t...if we weren’t doing what we’re doing. Would you ask her out?” Steve asked quietly.

“Yeah, probably. She’s way smarter than me, which I always find very attractive, and she’s gorgeous. So, all things being equal, yeah, she’s the kind of woman I would ask out.”

“Then you should ask her out.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. This, right here, this is exactly why we decided on the whole friends-with-benefits thing to begin with. So we would not be doing what we’re doing right now and can stay focused on work and not get sidetracked by our personal stuff.”

“OK.” Danny sighed. “I will think about it.”

“You’ll think about it?”

“You’re not getting any better answer than that.”

Steve nodded and dropped the subject.

5050505050

Danny’d left to get lunch and Steve was in his office researching the Princesa for himself and looking for other possible treasure hunts their victim could have been tracking.

“You got a minute?” Lori asked as she knocked lightly on the door jamb. He kept his office door open as a general rule, and the rest of team would’ve just come in and started talking, but she was still new.

“Yeah. What’s up?” He motioned for her to sit down.

“I wanted to ask you the same thing. Are things OK between you and Danny?”

“Everything’s fine. Why are you asking?”

She shrugged, “There was a moment there, a bit ago, where it seemed like something had happened at the museum today but Danny shut you down.”

“That’s just Danny. I was teasing him and he wasn’t feeling it right then. That’s all.”

“What were you teasing him about?”

“Nothing. Look, everything’s fine. You don’t gotta worry about Danny. That’s my job.”

She raised her eyes at that. “So, is this like All My Children, were everyone pretends they’re working but secretly there’s a lot of action happening in the janitor’s closet?”

Steve looked her like she’d grown two heads. “I don’t know what any of that means.”

“I saw it at Homeland Security too. Strict rules about not hooking up with other agents but people still did it anyway.”

“Agent Weston, if you’re looking for a date you need to look somewhere other than here. Those rules exist for a reason and you don’t get to come in here and fuck around with my team, I don’t care what the Governor says.”

Lori gave him a steely look. “Commander, I’m highly trained in psychological profiling, but even if I wasn’t,” she ticked off her next statements on her fingers, “You arrive at work together and leave together every day. You argue constantly and over personal stuff. If we’re in a firefight, his name is the first you call out to make sure he’s OK. And you touch and communicate non-verbally with practiced ease and comfort. I’m **not** talking about myself here.”

Steve smiled at her. “I’m surprised at you, Lori. Really. I would’ve thought a woman of your education and experience wouldn’t buy into Freudian toxic masculinity but I guess that proves that women can be just as sexist as men. Disappointing, but good to know.”

“I’m not sexist.”

“You’re sitting there telling me that because I carpool with my best friend and partner, who I have a close relationship with built on trust and experience, and that I’m comfortable enough with to offer him a supportive touch if he needs it, that obviously must mean we are having sex because men aren’t allowed to have close friendships or touch other men, right? Not like women are allowed to do. Because I’m sure you never hug your Sorority sisters or argue with your best friend, right? Or maybe you don’t want me to know about which way you swing and you think coming at me and Danny lets you deflect? Is that it?” He gave her no time to answer before continuing.

“Danny is my partner and he has my back. The very first case we worked, he saved my life. I know you’ve never been in combat but I have and those men I trained with; men I laid right up against in the dirt because their body heat was the only thing keeping me from hypothermia; men I had to eat, bathe, and piss next to while pacing through our 8th day in the jungle...You have no idea what that’s like and you have no right to judge me about how I treat those in my confidence.

“But since the lens you look through is so narrow, I’ll tell you something I absolutely should not have to. I was teasing Danny because he has a little thing for the pretty historian at the Bishop and I was encouraging him to ask her out. But that’s personal, so it wasn’t my story to share, especially with someone we’ve barely known a week.”

She shifted uncomfortably under his gaze and scolding. “Any more questions?” Steve asked sternly.

“No. With your approval, I would like to head down to the diver bar and see if I can learn anything from our vic’s fellow treasure hunters.”

“You have my approval.”

She stood quickly and when she got to the door, Steve said, “Lori, you’re not gonna make a lot of friends here psycho-analyzing everyone. I appreciate your skills, but I caution you trying to use them on us.”

“I apologize.” Her face flushed red and she left.

He went back to looking at his computer, but felt bad about what he’d just done to her. He had to shut her down; not only for his and Danny’s sake, but for the future of Five-0. But she didn’t deserve the way he’d just keel-hauled her, especially since she was right. He wondered how much guilt he was going to carry over his team before he’d collapse from the weight of it.

5050505050

Chin and Lori headed out of Remo’s office to wave in Max’s van, leaving Steve and Danny alone with his body.

Steve stood close Danny’s side and said quietly, “I texted Cath about dinner. I’m taking her to this Japanese place she likes tonight.”

Danny didn’t look at him, just nodded. “OK.”

“You should give Gabriella a call.”

“Still thinking about it.”

“This would be easier if we were both doing it. You get that right?”

“Sure. But you ever think that my hesitation has nothing to do with you?”

They heard Max’s chattering voice in the outside office and stepped away from each other.

5050505050

Steve had intentionally kept Lori with him the rest of the day. Danny was right that he needed to bring her in, get her to trust him. And after the upbraiding he’d given her, he felt the need to show her that they could work together nicely and he wasn’t just her grumpy boss.

When they came in and saw Catherine in his office, this was both a gift and a curse. Seeing her in uniform told him instantly that dinner was off, but it was her news about Joe that hit him hardest.

Once Cath left, Lori asked him no questions and he offered no information. They each sat in their respective offices finishing up paperwork when Steve’s phone buzzed.

**Outside the museum now. If she says no, I’ll text you. If she says yes, I’ll call you later.**

**She won’t say no. You’re quite the catch, babe.**

**Have fun with your raw fish or C-rations. What is it you grunts eat again?**

**Army has grunts. Navy has squids.**

**I’ve seen you eat squid. Does that make you a cannibal? Grace is calling. Gotta go.**

Steve put his phone back in his pocket and made a decision. Walking into Lori’s office he said, “Since my dinner plans fell through, you feel like grabbing some food?”

“Uh, sure. Who else is coming?”

“No one else.” Then he held up his hand. “This is not a date. You and I, we’ve been a bit at loggerheads and I know I’m mostly to blame for that. But I need my team to have cohesion and that starts with me. Figured this would be a chance for us to become friends.”

She nodded. “I’d like that.”

“Great. What’s your favorite?”

“Well, I love most things. But I haven’t found a good Italian place yet. You know of one?”

“I do.” Steve smiled. Let me close up and we’ll go. Just give me a sec.”

She watched him walk away, struggling to control the flutter in her belly that she carried pretty much every time she saw him.

5050505050

It wasn’t late, but he didn’t want to watch TV and he couldn’t concentrate enough to read, so he was lying on his bed, listening to the surf, and watching the moonlight dance on the ceiling as wisps of clouds passed by. When his cell rang, he put in on speaker and laid it on his chest.

“How’d it go Danny?”

“It was nice.”

Steve waited for more. “And?”

“What? You want details?”

“Yeah, I want details.”

“We went to this coffee shop near the museum that also sold crepes, so it was coffee and sorta dinner.”

“You ate food, that sounds like dinner to me. What’d you talk about?”

“Her mostly. Where she’d studied, how she ended up in Hawai’i, what her Ph.D was in, that kind of stuff.”

“You do have a thing for the smart ones.”

“I do, yeah.”

“Then what?”

“Nothing. We ate and talked for a couple hours, then I walked her to her car, came home and called you.”

“You wanna see her again?”

“I want to hear about your dinner with Catherine first.”

“Cath got new orders. She was at HQ when Lori and I got back. She sailed about 3 hours ago.”

“Why didn’t you call me? We could’ve...”

“That’s exactly why I didn’t call you. Because if I did you wouldn’t have gone out with Gabriella and this plan isn’t gonna work if we don’t pull the trigger and go on dates.”

“I hate it when you make my decisions for me Steve and you know that. Where do you get the right to keep that from me, especially when you admit you didn’t tell me so I wouldn’t change my mind? I have the right to my choices and my life!”

“If I’d told you that Cath cancelled what would you have done?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m 99% sure we’d have ended up in my bed and that was not where I wanted you to be tonight!” The silence on the other end was massive.

“Ouch, babe.” Danny said quietly.

Steve closed his eyes tight. “Danny, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. That’s not...I’m sorry. Maybe I’m no good for anyone right now.”

“What’s going on?”

“It’s been a rough day.”

“I was with you most of the day. Compared to some days, today was pretty chill. What are you not telling me?”

“Lori came at me about you today. That’s how I ended up telling her about Gabriella.”

“Came at you how?”

“She profiled us. Told me we act like two people having an affair.”

Danny took that in. “What’d you say?”

“I pushed back hard, called her sexist for presuming men couldn’t express their friendship the way we do, told her you were my partner and that when she’d earned her way on to the team, she’d understand.”

“Do you think she bought it?”

“Yeah. And I took her to dinner tonight just to make sure. Plus, she saw Catherine in my office, so I think we’ve put her off our trail.”

“OK, well that’s good, I guess.”

“There’s something else. Catherine told me Joe never sent the tape to DOD.”

“You sure?”

“She’s sure, yeah.”

“So now what?”

“I’m meeting him and Lori at Pearl in the morning. Navy’s escorting Captain Murphy’s body back to Arlington and we’re bringing Mrs. Spencer to see it off. I’ll ask him about it then.”

“I’m getting a bad feeling here.”

“Me too. But I’ve never had any cause to not trust Joe before and I...I gotta believe that there’s a good reason for this.”

“You’re dealing with a lot, babe.”

Steve sighed. It was a lot, and the one thing that made it better wasn’t here. “I lied before, Danny. I do want you in my bed.”

“I love being in your bed.”

“Then why aren’t you?” Steve’s voice was low and thick. He cupped his already hardening length as his mind and body filled with want.

“I’ll be out the door in five. And Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“Hands off until I get there.”

“How did you...”

“Just do as I say.”

Steve pulled his hand away as his whole body squirmed at the tone in Danny’s voice. “I will. But hurry.”

“Good thing my car gets to 70 in 5.4 seconds.” Danny hung up, grabbed his bag, and started tossing in clothes.


	10. S2: E5 Ma’eme’e (Pure)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **TRIGGER WARNING:There is a story of Rape/NonCon in this chapter!**  
>  I have intentionally written this chapter so it can be skipped and I’m posting Chapter 11 right away. PLEASE skip this chapter if that is something you can’t or don’t want to read. 
> 
> Steve had a very hard day with his team and while he is glad to have Kono back, he is struggling with what she may have done while undercover. Danny offers perspective and a confession about his own past while under.

Steve took the team to Hilton Head for dinner to celebrate having Kono back and so the whole team could decompress together all that had happened over the past few days. Kono and Lori hit it off really well and for the first time, he was truly happy that Lori was part of Five-0. Seeing the two women connect gave him a window into how hard it must be for Kono sometimes. He decided he’d try to have at least two women on Five-0 from now on.

The group broke up about 2200 and now he and Danny were on the road back to his place. They’d already agreed to go back to Steve’s for the night before a Grace-induced separation period began tomorrow. As they drove along, Steve’s hands were kneading the steering wheel. Danny reached over and pulled Steve’s right hand off and started massaging his palm and fingers. A rush of sensation ran up his arm and the endorphins made him realize how tight he was holding his shoulders. He lowered them and took in a breath.

“You’re grinding your teeth too.” Danny said, voice even and low. “You’ve been doing it since you punched Fryer but I couldn’t do anything about it until now.”

“I’d have hit him several more times if there hadn’t been so many HPD around.”

“She held her own, Steve. And she brought down a lot of bad guys today.” Steve pulled into his driveway and they continued the conversation on their way upstairs.

“All I can think about is what she could have done today. What if we hadn’t ID’d the hotel Trisha Joyner was staying in and Murphy had found her? What if Chin hadn’t seen Kono driving and we hadn’t been able to track her and bring her in? If we hadn’t, she’d have dumped Murphy’s corpse in the ocean.”

Danny had kicked his shoes off by the bed and sat down, leaning against the wooden slats of the head board as he watched Steve talk and pace around.

“I don’t even know everything she did. Delano’s crew has a trail of bodies and I’m afraid to ask what Kono had to do to play her part. She’s just a kid.”

“Stop. She’s not a kid. She’s Five-0 and you need to stop acting like she’s your baby sister.”

“She is my sister! We are ohana.”

“Steve, you don’t treat either Chin or I with this kind of protectiveness. Don’t give me that look. You know what I mean. We are ohana and that’s what makes Five-0 what it is, but Kono doesn’t deserve to be handled with kid gloves because of it.”

Steve pulled off his shirt angrily and tossed it in the hamper. Danny got up and went to him.

“You’re getting all wound up again.” Danny ran his hands up and down Steve’s arms.

Steve’s eyes flared with frustration and he brought his wrists up between Danny’s arms, pushing out to break Danny’s hands away. He put his hands on Danny’s shoulder and pressed down. Danny needed no further direction and he dropped to his knees, hands at Steve’s fly.

As soon as he sucked Steve back, a strong hand gripped the back of his head. Danny let his jaw relax and closed his eyes. He knew this was going to be rough, but it was clearly what Steve needed right now. He focused on breathing through his nose as Steve fucked his mouth hard. By the time Steve’s release filled his cheeks, Danny’s eyes were bloodshot and wet from reduced oxygen. Steve fell back against the dresser, propping himself by his arms. Danny sat back on his butt, arms resting on his knees while he drew deep, slow breaths, so he could clear the haze in his brain.

“Are you OK?” Steve asked, breathless.

“Yeah.” Danny answered, not really able to form sentences yet.

“Fuck, Danny, I’m sor...”

“Don’t.” Danny interrupted, holding a finger up. “Don’t need sorry. I knew what was comin’. If I wasn’t fine w’it, I’d’ve stopped ya.”

“Your accent got thick all of a sudden.”

“Pr’bly ‘cause ya just fucked my brain back to its pri’mordial stage.”

“I fucked you into Jersey?” Steve laughed and extended his hands, which Danny clasped, pulled him up, and hugged him. “I didn’t know that was something I could do.”

“T’ be honest, neither did I.” He kissed Steve who was now undressing him. They got into bed and Steve tapped the bottle of lube on Danny’s chest.

“You wanna see if you can fuck me to the primordial era?” Steve asked.

Danny shook his head a little, “I’m kinda addicted to having you do the fucking.” Since their first time, Danny hadn’t topped yet, which both surprised and puzzled Steve but they had found a good rhythm together so he didn’t question it.

After they were both tired and spent, Steve was draped across his chest while Danny traced Steve’s left shoulder tattoo with his fingers.

“You asleep.”

“Nah. Just resting my eyes.”

“Steve?” He opened his eyes and looked at Danny.

“Yeah.”

“Don’t ask Kono about what she might have done undercover. I told you a long time ago that sometimes what we have to do to keep our cover isn’t always nice and often not legal. Whatever she had to do is what she had to do. If she doesn’t bring it up, don’t ask.”

He pushed up so he could look at Danny more fully. “OK.” He searched his partner’s face, feeling like something more was going on here.

“There’s nothing she could say that would change how I feel about her. Same goes for you. You can tell me anything and I will still love you.”

Danny glanced away at Steve’s declaration but covered it by petting his arms again before looking back. “You say that, but you don’t actually know if it would change things until you hear it. Think about how angry you were when you first questioned her. Your rage wasn’t just out of fear for her. You were angry at what you believed she had done.”

He shook his head. “But I didn’t know she was undercover. I thought she was making those choices as herself. There’s a big difference.”

“Is it? I know you’ve tortured people.”

Steve’s expression steeled. “And?”

“Were you ordered to?”

“Torture is an illegal order under the Geneva Convention.”

“But you did it anyway.”

“I needed the information or a few hundred-thousand people were gonna die.”

“So wasn’t that a choice you made as yourself?”

“I suppose.” Steve thought for a moment, then asked, “Danny, what’d you do?”

Danny rolled to his side and Steve shifted so he was laying at Danny’s back, arm wrapped snug around his waist, holding him close as Danny talked.

“The club was called the Black Swallow. It was a BDSM club for men and women, and the owner also ran a standing illegal poker game, prostitution, and laundered money through the club’s books. The owner served a few Jersey mob bosses, the biggest being the Bianchi Family.

“I managed to get in as bouncer and had been there three nights when I got called into the back office. From reading the case files of other undercovers who’d tried to get in, I knew they were going to have me do some kind of sex act. Two of the early officers who got made refused to give blowjobs. They got beat bad and dumped on the steps of the nearest precinct. Marco, the one who got shot in the knees, they tried to get him to do a scene as a sub. He’d lasted three weeks because giving head didn’t bother him, but he wasn’t gonna let himself be fucked. So they shoved a dildo up his ass and wrote “COP” across his lower back. They left him bleeding on the hood of his car.”

Steve squeezed him close, feeling scared for Danny, even though it was obvious Danny made it out of this OK.

“I was enough of a punk in high school that I knew no one was gonna peg me as a cop right away and if I could see enough of the operation to get a search warrant, we’d be good. Vice had been recording and surveilling long enough they had enough to convict the owner and shut down the club, but they needed the code books that tracked the money to bring down the Bianchi's, which was the big goal.

“That night, I went in and Gio, the owner, told me he needed me to do some enforcement work. At first I thought I’d gotten off easy because I can punch all day long. They dragged in this skinny guy, maybe 23 or 24 years old. I guess he’d tried to stiff one of the hookers and she’d ratted him out because if she hadn’t, her handler would’ve taken the loss of cash out on her. They’d caught him before he’d even gotten to his car.

“Unless I was gonna burn my cover by refusing, I could only stand there and watch as they stripped him and tied him up, bent across the pool table, legs spread. Gio walked up to me and held out a blue, diamond-shaped pill as he tossed a couple three-packs of condoms on the table and said, ‘Fuck him until those are gone.’ I knew I wouldn’t be able to get an erection without the Viagra so I took it. Everyone left except Gio, who sat at his desk and watched, his feet propped up next to a loaded .44.

“How long did you have to rape him?” Steve asked bluntly, which Danny appreciated. What he’d done was brutal and he didn’t want either of them to downplay how horrific it was.

Danny wiped his tears with his thumb. “Took me an hour and a half to get through one box. Gio gave me a second viagra and it took another two hours to get through the other box. I was basically coming dry by then. I tried to fake orgasm number three in the hope of speeding it up, but Gio held the gun to the guy’s head and told me I had to do it right or I’d get to taste his brain. I despised what I was doing, but had to block everything out so I could get through it or we were both gonna die. When I was done, I had to walk him to his car and tell him he was banned from the club. As if he’d ever come back.

“I didn’t go home after. I bought a half gallon of gin, parked my car in the precinct garage and drank until I passed out. One of the duty sergeants found me at the start of next shift. I told the vice commander I wouldn’t go back, but refused to tell him why. I’ve never told anyone until now.”

“Jesus, Danny.”

“Yeah, well, believe me, Jesus wasn’t anywhere around that night.”

“But you did go back. You said your two topping experiences came from that club.”

“Vice made me go back and Gio was easy on me from then on. Because I’d not caved, I was brought deep inside the circle and was racking up insane intel. I was there four months and I had to find a way to enjoy being there or I was gonna become a raging alcoholic or hurt myself. I ended up becoming friends with one of the house subs, Brian. Gio never asked me to repeat what I’d done that one night, but he would call me in to deliver beatings regularly. To cope, I’d go watch Brian do scenes. I don’t know; it was comforting somehow. I can’t explain it. The night before the raid, I told Bri to call in sick the next day. I didn’t tell him why, but he said he trusted me. I think he knew we were not going to see each other again because he asked if I’d be his Dom for the paid show that night. I’d learned enough to know what to do and what he liked, so I agreed.

“When I told Gio what I was going to do that night, he said he’d wondered how long it’d take for me to agree to scene as a dom. He said, ‘I’m gonna make so much green offa you. Just you wait.’ So on stage with Brian was the last time I topped.”

“Did you like it? Doing that with Brian.”

“I did. I knew I would. But it scared me too. There’s a darkness in me, Steve. You don’t know what I’m actually capable of.” Danny’s voice broke.

Steve slowly wove his fingers through the soft hair of Danny’s chest and belly. “Shhh, babe. It’s OK. Anything you do, I can handle. Nothing about you scares me. Nothing.” He held Danny close until he settled again.

“Is this why you haven’t wanted to top? I feel like it’s connected.”

“Our first night together, I was operating on instinct, barely getting firm with you, and you reacted badly. I don’t ever want hear that tone in your voice again.”

“You won’t. I tried to tell you it had nothing to do with what you were doing and everything to do with you leaving.”

“I know. But I’m not there yet. Not saying I won’t ever get there, just that I’m not ready to be that person right now. It’s been twelve years since then and being with you is forcing me to deal with stuff I’d been able to bury. And I am...dealing with it. Talking helps, and bottoming for you is helping a lot too. I just need you to be patient with me.

Steve planted soft kisses at the nape of his neck. “Always.”


	11. S2: E12 Alaheo Pau’ole (Endless Stream)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve doesn’t much like Danny handcuffed to anyone, except maybe himself. He really doesn’t like it when that someone is Lori Weston.

“Hey, Joe?” Steve asked when Danny had gone to use the bathroom before they left for the tux shop.

Joe was standing with Lori on the balcony of the hotel suite and both turned to him. “What is it?”

Steve held out the keys to the Silverado, “Can you drop Lori off at home and meet us at the shop?”

“Time for Sandblower’s PosMo?” He asked as Steve dropped the keys in his palm.

“You could say that.”

“Understood.” Joe held his arm out to Lori, “Shall we, Miss Weston?”

“I...uh, sure.” Lori looked at both men but Steve had already turned his back and walked away, so she put her hand on the older man’s arm and they left.

Once in the hall, Lori asked, “What is a Sandblower PosMo?”

Joe smiled. “Sandblower is Navy slang for someone who’s not very tall. PosMo is short for ‘Positive Motivation’. When someone in your command has done something stupid or out of line, you PosMo them.”

“So it’s a punishment?”

“More like a reprimand. Though there’s often either a physical element or other task that’s not particularly pleasant so the message sinks in.”

“So Steve’s gonna...that’s not fair. Danny didn’t do anything.” She turned to walk back and Joe caught her elbow.

“You don’t want to get in the middle of that. Steve is Danny’s commanding officer and if he needs to address something with a member of his team, it’s not your place to interfere. All you Five-0 folks will do a lot better when you understand that you each have a role and trust that Steve’s decisions are for the good of the whole, even if you don’t like or understand those decisions.

“Now, he asked me to take you home, which also means he told you to go home. I can’t prevent you from running back there, but are you sure that’s the choice you want to make?”

She stood there, thinking for a bit, then nodded as she turned and continued down the hallway with Joe. Part of her wondered if she’d ever be on the receiving end of Steve’s “PosMo”. She’d seen him go at Chin the day they found out Kono was working with Delano. It had made her uncomfortable to witness Steve reach that level of anger, but Danny had put his hand on her arm as they stood outside Steve’s office and whispered, “It’ll be OK.”

After she’d seen Steve punch Captain Fryer over the Kono situation, and had a few months to observe how the team handled suspects and did interrogations, she was realizing that she needed to get tough because her boss was willing to go just as hard at his team as he was at any perp they brought in.

5050505050

Steve was sitting on the couch when Danny came out of the bathroom, handcuff still dangling from his right wrist.

“Where’d they go?”

“I told Joe to take Lori home.” He watched as Danny walked over to him, not at all hiding his attraction to his partner. Danny stopped in front of Steve, standing between his knees and held his wrist out. Steve just looked at him.

“Alright funny guy. You can take this off now. I know you have your cuff keys in one of those many pockets of yours.”

Steve hooked his fingers into the steel ring that dangled from Danny’s wrist and pulled down, causing Danny to drop to his knees. “I think you need to keep it on for a while.”

“If you wanted a blow job, babe, all you had to do is ask.”

Steve leaned forward and pushed Danny’s arms back and Danny took the hint to clasp his hands behind his back. Raking fingers down Danny’s chest, he said, “Move back in with me. This time without your stupid insistence that you sleep on the couch and then keep me up all night because you can’t sleep.”

Danny rocked back as Steve’s fingers rubbed at his nipples through his shirt. Danny swallowed a moan as he said, “When we get in too deep with one another, it gets harder to hide this. Plus, we were fighting all the time.”

“We were fighting because I was frustrated at not being able to have you, hold you...all night.” Steve kept up tugging at the tiny nubs that were getting harder and larger as he did. He grinned as Danny’s hips moved, struggling.

“Getting a little twisted up here, buddy. Can I please adjust?” Danny’s cock was trapped in the confines of his pants and getting huge, “I just need to move it a little bit...” Steve ignored him.

“We have an appointment to keep and that,” Steve looked down at Danny’s crotch, “that’s just too damn bad. Maybe you’ll think about that ache in your balls the next time you try to play ‘tie-me-up’ with anyone but me.” Steve stood up. “Let’s go.”

“That’s it? Why does this seem too easy?”

“Oh, we’re gonna address this, I promise. But we don’t have time right now to do it properly. Chin’s waiting for us.”

Danny held out his right wrist. “OK. Playtime’s over.”

Steve smiled at him. “I’m not taking that off.”

“You’re seriously gonna make go out in public with this on?”

“Think of it as your challenge for the day. I’m not taking it off, so, let’s see what you can figure out.”

“I hate you, so much.” But his slight grin belied his words.

“I know.”

5050505050

The wedding party all had rooms booked at the resort and Danny had given Steve a card to his room because he was two floors above everyone else, so they stood a better chance of being discrete. It was still a risk, but it was one they both wanted to take.

Danny had just finished hanging up his tux shirt and his hands had moved to his pants when cold steel encircled one wrist. He stayed still, waiting.

Steve drew his cuffed wrist back and then reached in front and took hold of Danny’s left wrist, brought it behind and cuffed it as well. Danny’s breathing quickened and he was hard in an instant. He felt Steve’s fingers brushing down his back and reflexively arched into them.

Reaching around, Steve undid the button and zipper of Danny’s pants and pulled them down, and Danny stepped out. The next moment, Steve pressed fully against his back so Danny could feel that Steve was still fully dressed. Danny’s cock pulsed in arousal and his mind flooded with feelings of vulnerability and lust.

Steve placed a hand in the middle of Danny’s back and hooked the short chain between the cuffs with his fingers as he guided Danny over to the small table on one side of the hotel room. He pushed him down, so his face and chest were on the tabletop and stepped back.

While he was pretty certain what was coming, Danny had no idea _how_ Steve was going to do it. He wasn’t going to ask, though he desperately wanted to. By not asking, he was telling Steve that he trusted him and that he was accepting whatever his partner chose to do. The waiting, though, that was making him a bit crazy. He shifted some, spreading his legs a little, and interlaced his fingers to try and relieve some of the pressure at his shoulders.

Even though he was expecting it, when the first swat landed it startled him. He mentally counted in his head as each one landed. At 10, Steve thrusted his fully-clothed cock against his ass, the wool of his tuxedo pants rough against the flushed heat of his skin and he couldn’t suppress a moan. He had intentionally made no sounds during the spanking because he wanted to demonstrate his ability to control himself through it. Danny wasn’t a sub. But he was willing accept discipline as an aspect of the complicated blurring of his and Steve’s personal and professional lives.

When Steve started swatting him again, Danny felt it was more about seeing what he could handle, so when it really started to hurt, he let himself cry out. Steve stopped and massaged his ass tenderly, then pulled on the cuffs so Danny stood up. Strong hands at his elbows turned him around and Steve’s lips were on his, kissing him hard. Danny responded with equal force, which obviously excited his partner who kept kissing him as he pushed him to the bed.

“Don’t move” Steve commanded as he unlocked one cuff and brought his hands to the front and re-cuffed them.

“Unlike at home, hotel beds don’t have real headboards, so I can’t cuff you to the bed. But I want your arms above your head as if you are. Can you do that?”

Danny nodded and Steve pushed him back onto the king-size bed. Once he was laid-out, wrists high above his head, Steve traveled a long, winding trail down his body with his mouth. Danny was a bit frustrated that Steve was still dressed because he loved looking at his naked body when they made love. He knew better than to ask. Eventually, Steve was going to want some attention of his own.

After he’d twice licked and sucked him almost to the brink, Danny was starting to beg and Steve finally stood up and took his tux off. Having been fingered while Steve blew him, he thought things would finally get going, but instead of kneeling between his thighs, Steve straddled his abdomen. Their eyes locked as Steve reached and pulled a plug from inside him. Danny’s eyes got huge.

“How long have you had that in?”

“Since I got dressed for the wedding. You can say no, but I’m hoping you won’t.”

Danny fought back tears and nodded.

“You sure, babe? I mean it. We don’t have to.”

Danny shook his head. “I want to. I’m just realizing that this, this is the perfect way for me to do this again. And I’m a little overwhelmed by how well you know me.”

Steve kissed him and then reached back to line Danny up before slowly sinking himself down. Danny threw his head back against the pillow, groaning at the powerful sensation of tight heat enveloping him. When he was all the way in, Steve leaned forward and kissed him for several long minutes before pushing himself up on his knees and began to ride him. They found a steady rhythm and then Steve began to stroke himself. Danny wished he was the one doing that but he’d promised to keep his arms tethered and focused on taking in everything that was happening.

As his own orgasm was nearing, Danny began to thrust up. Steve lifted high enough that Danny bent his knees and took over, pounding up into him, as Steve jacked himself faster. Danny gave a final thrust and held it as he came. Not more than a few seconds after, he felt warm drops of cum hit his chest and stomach. They panted together for a little bit before Steve pulled his arms down and unlocked the cuffs.

Climbing off, he pulled on Danny’s hands. “Shower time. That shit dries in your hair and it’s gonna hurt.”

“I actually do know that.” Danny agreed.

They stood under the warm spray, tired but not wanting to get out yet.

“You did a good job with that.” Danny said lazily.

“Thanks. I didn’t want to go too hard.”

“You could have if you wanted to. I can take a lot.” Danny looked up at him.

“I’ve no doubt about that. I didn’t want to though. Not really my thing. My...longing...is more to the other side.” Steve pushed the water off and reached out to grab them both towels.

“I admit that surprises me. You’re always in command and more than a little bit of a control freak.”

Steve handed Danny a comb before pulling on a pair of clean shorts. “That’s actually why it’s a longing. To have this one little place where I’m not in charge. But I’ve never found anyone I trusted enough to try it.”

Danny’s nodded. “It does take an incredible amount of trust.”

Steve drew him close. “I trust you.”

“I know.”

“Do you think you could ever...with me? I know we’ve danced around it a little but...”

“Maybe.”

“Why maybe?” Steve’s brow furrowed a little, which Danny found adorable and he reached up and ran his thumbs across Steve’s cheeks.

“What you did tonight was amazing and I liked it...a lot. What I need to figure out is what you’re up for and if that matches me. If we’re not wanting the same things, I think I’d prefer to just stick to what we do now.”

“I’m up for a lot.”

“You think you are, but envisioning it in your head and real life are different. And we don’t have to decide anything right now, right?”

“No.” Steve crawled into bed as Danny killed the light and set his alarm for 0500. They had agreed on the early wake-up so Steve could get back down to his room before their friends woke up.

They were cuddled together when Steve asked, “So what did you learn tonight?”

Danny laughed. “That I need to commit acts of bondage with our co-workers more often.”

Steve squeezed half his ass, which was still tender, causing him to give a tiny yelp. “That was **not** the lesson.”

Danny just laughed and kissed him.


	12. S2: E15 Mai Ka Wa Kahiko (Out of the Past)/S2: E16 I Helu Pu (The Reckoning)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of Grace’s kidnapping, Danny pulls away and Steve finds himself needing to process what it means for Catherine to still be in his life.

Steve had wanted nothing more than to hold Danny close all night after the frightening day with Rick Peterson. He hadn’t felt that level of panic since Danny had inhaled the sarin and he’d nearly lost his mind when the GPS cut out on the Camaro. It had been bad enough that Chin had demanded he to pull off the road and calm down.

His needs had to wait though, because Rachel wanted to stay with Stan at the hospital and that meant Danny needed to be with Grace and baby Charlie. The fact that he was staying with the kids at Stan and Rachel’s place was logical but also made Steve feel like they were back where they were a year ago when Danny’d started to get back with Rachel.

These thoughts brought him back to the voicemail he’d heard today. The one where Danny told Rachel he didn’t care if the baby was his, he still wanted them to be together. A voicemail that had to have been left after he and Danny started having sex.

He was sitting on his couch drinking his third beer when his phone buzzed. It was Catherine.

“Hey Cath. How are you?

“Good. Hope it’s not too late.”

“Never. How’s the South China Sea?”

“Actually, I’m about 100 miles outside of Osaka and got a three-day leave back to Pearl. I’m gonna be back for few days and thought we could...”

“That’s great! Saturday night I have this fundraiser the Governor’s holding and all of Five-0 is being required to attend. Wanna be my date?”

“Yeah, sounds fun. How fancy is the fundraiser?”

“Black tie. If you don’t have anything with you I could ask Kono...”

She laughed. “I got it covered. My airlift should land at Pearl about 0600 Saturday Morning. Pick me up?”

“I will be there.” He smiled even as guilt clenched his heart.

5050505050

Thursday morning, Steve was in his office working on a tedious budget report. Danny was spending his morning at Peterson’s arraignment. It’d been four days since they’d had any time together because Danny was always with the Edwards’, either to help with the baby or with Grace while Stan was recovering. They talked on the phone every night, but they couldn’t flirt or do the things Steve wanted to do.

He’d not yet told Danny that he was bringing Catherine to the fundraiser. Though he had told Danny that no matter what, he had to attend. None of them wanted to go, but when Danny tried to beg off because of his “family emergency” Steve had come down hard and told him no. It was the first time Danny had been that pissed at him since the day he broke out of Halawa.

He stared at the spreadsheet for 20 minutes, lost in all these thoughts, when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye and looked up to see Danny walking through the outer office doors. Agitation came off his partner in heavy waves and Steve met him at his door.

“We, uh, we have anyone in Interrogation room B?”

“No. Danny what’s wrong.”

“Just follow me. Please.” Danny walked fast to the back corner stairwell that went down to their interrogation rooms. Steve had to keep a good clip to stay with Danny who jogged quickly down the stairs and burst through the doors.

As soon as they were through the door, Danny slammed it shut and grabbed the chair, wedging it under the door handle. He turned on Steve and shoved him against the wall kissing him, grinding against him, ferocious and wild.

“Danny what’s...” Steve was again pushed hard into the wall as Danny slapped something against his chest.

“No talking. You need to fuck me. Right now.”

Steve’s eyes went wide and he glanced down to see that Danny was holding a couple travel packets of lube against his chest. He felt too stunned to know how to react until Danny slapped his cheek and said, “Do what I’m telling you to do.”

With aggression to match what Danny was giving him, Steve grabbed the lube packets and pushed Danny face up against the wall. He reached around, yanked Danny’s belt open and pulled his slacks down just far enough to expose his ass. Because Danny had been in court, he didn’t have his gun on him.

Steve opened his fly with one hand while he ripped open both lube packets with his teeth. He coated himself in two, short strokes and shoved into Danny hard and fast. Danny grunted in pain and Steve stilled.

Danny’s hands fisted at the wall and he said, “What part of fuck me don’t you understand?”

So Steve did. It was aggressive, quick, and when he was done and had stepped back, Danny stayed where he was forehead on the wall. Steve put himself away and then leaned down to pull Danny’s pants back up.

“Don’t take care of me.” Danny growled.

“Too fucking bad.” He refastened Danny’s fly and buckled his belt. Then Steve wrapped his arms around Danny’s waist and held him, kissing along the back of his neck and up to his ears. Finally, Danny turned around in his arms and collapsed against him. He was too strung out to cry. Steve sank them to the floor and gathered his partner in his arms.

“What happened?”

Keeping his eyes closed as he spoke, he said, “Rick pleaded guilty, but asked the judge if he could state for the record what his full plan was for that day. The idiot judge allowed it not knowing what I did...that he only wanted it read because he knew I was there to hear it. It was his final way to hurt me.”

“Do you want to tell me what...”

“After he was gonna have me kill Stan, he was going to assault Rachel while I watched. Then he was going to kill her and me and leave Grace where she was. He was going to leave Hawaii and leave Grace in that storage locker.”

“Danny, none of that happened. OK? He’s a sick motherfucker but none of that happened.” Steve was rubbing Danny’s back and rocking with him. “And I want you to listen to me, OK? I don’t even believe him. You just said, he thought up the worst thing he could say to you in court as a way to hurt you. You don’t have to let him. Those are terrible things but you don’t have to carry it. Don’t let him win.”

Shifting up, Danny kissed him, their mouths doing their now practiced rhythm as he slowly came back to himself. They made out tenderly for about 10 minutes before Danny pulled away and stoked Steve’s left cheek.

“I’m sorry I hit ya. I just need to drive out those images and this was the only thing I could come up with.

“That was a love tap compared to the first time you hit me.” Steve smiled and hugged him close again. “You haven’t been around much past few days.”

“I know. I feel guilty for what I’ve put Rachel and Stan through. Plus, I like being with the baby. I’d forgotten how cuddly they are and how they will sleep on your chest for hours.”

Steve’s heart ached. The baby looked like Danny to him, but he kept his mouth shut tight about it. The night after Charlie was born, he’d tried to say something but Danny shut him down so he was not going to bring it up again. He wondered if Danny saw it too.

“I miss you.” Steve whispered, continuing to kiss his partner’s ear and neck.

“I miss you too.”

“Stay with me tonight.” Danny made no response and Steve thought he was going to say no, so he added, “I need you too, you know. You came here and demanded something of me and I gave it to you. Now I’m telling you what I need.”

Danny pet his cheek again and nodded, “OK. I hear you.”

5050505050

Before they left, Steve had told Chin that Danny needed the day to unwind from what went down and that he was going to take him on hike the next day. There was a beautiful swimming lagoon on the North Shore that was generally not too crowded. They’d swam and walked through some caves, just hanging out. Tired and hot, they sat resting on some rocks when Steve tossed Danny a water bottle.

“So, I gotta tell you something and I’m nervous about it.”

“OK.”

“Catherine is coming in for shore leave tomorrow morning so I’m bringing her to the fundraiser.”

Danny shrugged his shoulders. “Why are you nervous about telling me that?”

“Because I know Gabby is at a conference so you aren’t bringing a date.”

“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t bring one.”

“You are being surprisingly non-hyperbolic about this.”

“I’m not sure what that means, but unless you want to tell Catherine about us, then if she’s here on leave, you should spend time with her. That’s what you would have done before, right?”

“Yeah. But thing is...she’s gonna expect...things.”

“She’s gonna want you to rock her world?” Danny teased.

Steve rolled his eyes at that. “Have you and Gabby...?”

“Noooo.”

“Really?”

“I would have told you if we had.”

Steve shifted uncomfortably. “Before or after?”

“Meaning would I have asked permission first?”

That earned Danny a puzzled expression. “Not really? I guess we’ve never talked about this.”

“Yeah.” Danny wasn’t sure what he was feeling exactly. “You and Catherine have slept together before, so I think I put her in the same category as Rachel. I figured if you were dating Catherine that would mean you would have sex with her.”

“And you’re OK with that?”

“Were you ok when I was having sex with Rachel?”

“No. And you and I weren’t having sex then.”

“You wanna come out?”

Steve crushed his empty waterbottle down small and put it in his backpack. Danny knew he was avoiding the question but he decided to wait and see what would happen. Finally, Steve’s body relaxed and he let out a breath.

“I’m not ready. I feel like a complete asshole for saying that to you, but I’m not.”

“It’s OK. I’m not really either. Thing is, I feel like you’re tethered to me in a way that is so strong that I feel safe swimming out, playing with the other minnows, because I know when I come back, you’ll be right there.”

“You’re using a fish illustration, you know that, right? Pretty sure that’s the first sign you’re becoming native.”

“There are fish in Jersey, Steven.” He teased. “But do you get what I’m saying?”

“I do. It’s landing hard but you’re right. We’ve had a long spell of being exclusive but that wasn’t what we said we wanted in the beginning and we’re not ready for that now either.”

“If I’m honest, come Saturday night, it might feel different.”

“Tell me, if it does. OK? Promise me that.”

Danny smiled, “You and I have never been very good about hiding our jealousies, babe, so you’ll probably figure it out.”

“I never get jealous.” Steve started towards Danny with predator-like movements.

“Right. I get handcuffed to Lori and you tanned my ass red because it makes you horny.”

“It does make me horny.” Steve pulled him off the rocks and into the water, kissing him as they went down.

5050505050

Lori pulled away from Steve’s hug and wiped a tear before straightening up.

“Joe White once told me that everyone on Five-0 has a role to play. So let me offer you one last report as your team profiler.” She paused, not one-hundred percent sure she should do this, but she felt like she needed to for the team.

“You and Danny don’t hide it as well as you think. The rest of the team, they wouldn’t talk to me about it; probably because you four are very protective of one another. That bond, that intimacy, it’s alluring, honestly. I wanted to be a part of that.

“But standing outside of it, I can also see the problems. There is literally no law you won’t break or action you won’t commit for one another. And a week ago, when Danny got taken, you were out of your mind, which is not a good way to be if you are in command. Chin and Kono rolled with it, but it’s dangerous. What’s more, I believe you are an experienced enough Naval Officer that you _know_ someone should not be giving orders when they are as emotionally compromised as you were that day. And I care about all of you enough to tell you so.”

Steve sat back against his desk, his hands on his hips. “Thank-you, Agent Weston. Sincerely. I will take your report under advisement.”

She smiled at him and nodded. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

5050505050

After Lori left, his first call was to command at Pearl. It wasn’t escaping. He needed to invest some time with Catherine to fully evaluate how he felt about how these relationships of his were gonna work together. He called Danny while he packed and put the phone on speaker when his partner answered.

“What’s up?”

“I just put in to do my two weeks reserve duty and I want you to come stay here while I’m gone.”

“OK. When do you leave?”

“In about three hours.”

“Three hours? Why so fast? Last time we knew months in advance.”

“I’m flying out to the Eisenhower with Catherine. Thought it’d be a way to make it up to her, y’know, ruining her leave by creating an international incident.”

“Doesn’t seem like much of a romantic get away.”

“You’d be surprised how many private corners you can find on a ship.”

“I’m honestly not gonna let my imagination try too hard at that.”

“So you’ll stay here?”

“I can, but I’m curious as to why.”

“Maybe I like coming home to you.”

“Alright, sailor. Be safe.”

“I will.”


	13. S2:17 Kupale (Defender)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve learns that Danny’s been holding back with Gabby and doubles-down on the rules in their “Friends with Benefits” plan. There’s also Steve with a baby, so if you have ovaries, I’m not responsible for what happens.

“You don’t want to tell me about your time on the boat?” Danny asked, trying to break the silence as they drove out to the park where the body was. Steve was annoyed with him and Danny could admit to himself he had a right to be, though there were extenuating circumstances.

“It was fine.”

“That’s it? Just fine?”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“Because something happened with Catherine or because you’re mad at me?” Steve just looked at him.

“Ah, that’s nice.” Danny swallowed the nastier comment he wanted to make and instead said, “You could perhaps ask me how my two weeks have gone, unless my life no longer matters to you.”

“How have the last two weeks been for you, Daniel?” He asked with heavy sarcasm.

“You know what? Fuck you. If you want a rating for your best Rachel impersonation, this is at least an 8.5.”

“You’re comparing me to Rachel right now? You trashed my house, but _I’m_ being like Rachel.”

“You have her pissed-off sarcasm down pat, along with her patented habit of presuming the worst of me when I’m actually trying the best I can. But sure, since you know exactly how it feels to be temporarily in charge of Hawai’i’s most elite task force while taking care of two children, one of whom is a newborn who has decided he no longer wants to sleep for more than 90 minutes at a time, plus a dog, all while staying in a house that isn’t mine, then I guess you can be as sarcastic as you fucking want.”

Danny rolled down the window because he was hot and felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“Why did you have the kids full time?” Steve asked.

“Stan had to go back into surgery because there was some part of his shoulder reconstruction that wasn’t healing right and Rachel needed to be with him for that and then she had to leave town and Stan can’t lift him yet, so Charlie’s with a nanny during the day and I pick him and Grace up after work.

“And I’m sorry the place was a mess. I just haven’t had much sleep and you weren’t supposed to be back until tomorrow so I had planned to work on it today but you came home and then we got a case, which y’know, also keeps happening.” He took a breath and added, “If you thought your place was bad, you should have seen our home in Jersey when Grace was a newborn.”

Steve felt some sympathy, though Danny’s not the neatest person generally, but he didn’t feel like arguing anymore. “Why didn’t you sleep in the bed?”

“Because Grace was there most of the time and it seemed too...I just didn’t want her getting confused. Guess maybe I’m not much to come home to after all.”

“C’mon, man, don’t say that. I didn’t realize you were still getting saddled with the baby so much.”

“I’m not saddled with him. He’s a baby and he needs to be loved and cared for.”

“Danny...”

“Don’t.”

“OK.” At some point Danny either needed to get a paternity test or step back, but that was not a conversation for right now.

“My AT was fun, actually, and Cath and I made the most of our time together, which I do want to talk with you about, but I don’t feel like we have the space to do that right now, which is why I was avoiding the topic. So can we table this until tonight? Maybe Gracie could have a sleep over with a friend tonight?”

“I’ll still have Charlie.”

“You think he’ll rat us out?” Steve gave him a small smile. “C’mon. You can snuggle the baby while I clean up and we can talk.”

“It’s my mess, I’ll clean it up. And you can try your hand at holding a bottle.”

“I don’t think...”

Danny winked at him. “You’ll be great.”

5050505050

“Why are you pushing so hard about Gabby anyway?” Danny asked as he fed the address for Burgess’ place that Kono had texted into the GPS, feeling annoyed that Steve seemed so eager for him to move faster with her.

“Because I believe your holding back has more to do with me than Grace.”

“Arrogant much?”

“Am I wrong?”

“You are. With Rachel, it was different because you’re both my family and so things with you and her at the same time didn’t bother me so much because things have been complicated since day one. But Gabby’s coming into this new and she hasn’t experienced the worst parts of this job, the parts where I will choose you over her, and what is she gonna say when that happens? This isn’t about you. It’s about her.”

“OK, then. You do what you think is best and I’ll support you.”

“Thank-you.”

5050505050

“Ack! Danny! He pissed all over me!” Steve was grabbing baby wipes and wiping off his face, neck, and shirt which now had thin line of baby urine across his chest.

“That’s because you didn’t hold the clean diaper over the dirty one like I told you.”

“How am I supposed to do that? I have to keep one hand on him so he doesn’t fall off the table and one hand to undo the tape on the old diaper, so where is the third hand I need to hold the clean diaper? Plus doesn’t that defeat the point of putting on a clean diaper if he’s peeing on the new one right away? And where does he get this kind of trajectory? I’m pretty sure there’s piss in my hair. Does he have some kind of super-bladder?”

“Move over.” Danny quickly, wiped Charlie, got the new diaper on and snapped up his onesie in seconds.

“How did you do that?”

“Comes from changing several thousand of them. Here.” Danny passed the baby back to Steve and the tiny form instantly snuggled against his warm chest.

“I need to change my shirt.”

“No you don’t. It’ll dry. A little pee or spit-up never hurts anyone.” Danny went back to folding the laundry he had pulled out of the dryer. He’d already cleaned up the dishes and take out containers he’d left around and had moved on to getting all the laundry done since Steve was nice enough to let him use his machines.

Steve sat on the couch and pulled a light blanket over Charlie who was sucking a tiny, fat fist; small, blue eyes looking up at him.

“That was a hazing wasn’t it?” Steve asked the baby. “You know I’m the FNG and that’s your way of messing with me, huh? Well, you know what? Bring it. I survived BUD/S. I can survive you. You’re not so tough.” He smiled at Charlie as he talked, rubbing one hand along the baby’s back. He saw Danny watching him.

“This doesn’t exactly suck.” Steve said.

“Nope.” Danny agreed as he sat down on the couch next to Steve and pet the top of Charlie’s mostly bald head.

“He doesn’t have much hair.” Steve observed.

“Yeah. Grace had this one-inch shag of brown hair all over when she was born, but he’s just got these short, wispy, blond ones.”

“You’re lucky you got to do this.” Steve said as he gave the now sleeping baby a light kiss on his head.

“Do what?”

“Be a dad. Change a thousand diapers. Feel his tiny fist clutch your finger.” Steve gently waved his pinky that Charlie was holding in his other hand.

“You’ll be a dad someday.” Danny said automatically and then looked at Steve. “I mean...” He couldn’t finish his sentence and he got up and went back to his laundry.

“Danny, I love you. And I know you love me.”

“OK. And?”

“And I want you to put some effort into your relationship with Gabby.”

“Why?”

“Because of this.” He tapped Charlie’s back lightly. “Because neither of us is certain about what kind of life we ultimately want. And your feelings for Gabby are real. As real as your feelings for me. That’s what I learned these past two weeks. I really care about Cath. I’m attracted to her, I enjoy my time with her, and I could see myself married to her someday.”

Danny focused on folding, not looking at Steve, who kept talking. “I also dreamed about you almost every night. I can see a life with you too. But they are different lives and I’m not sure which one I want because there are things I love about both.”

“You and I can’t have children.” Danny stacked his folded clothes back into the basket, moved it to the floor and sat in the chair.

“This is pretty nice.” Steve smiled at him. “But I love Grace and this little guy is her half-brother, so he’ll probably be around us quite a bit too. I can see myself being content being a step-dad. So this choice will not only be about kids. It’s more complicated than that.”

“So you and Cath...”

Steve looked at him, “Yeah.”

“You’re giving me guilt face. I’m fine. We both knew that was going to happen.”

“And it’s why I think you need to stop dragging your feet with Gabby.”

“What, so we’re even?”

“No, babe, no. So you remember what it’s like.”

“You think I forgot what pussy’s like?”

“Hey! Baby!” Steve looked scandalized.

“Trust me, he’s quite familiar with pussy. I watched him come out of one.”

“God, sometimes you are so Jersey I can’t even...”

Danny laughed, “My friend you have **no idea** how bad it can get. Come home with me sometime and go have beers with my sister Stella and her friends.”

“You stay away from your Aunt Stella.” Steve said to the baby and then realized what he’d just said and shifted uncomfortably, glancing at Danny who either hadn’t heard or was pretending he hadn’t.

“It felt different, Danno. I hadn’t expected it to be, but it did.”

“And it’s got you twisted up.”

“A little, yeah.”

“Don’t you think it’s unfair to use her that way? ‘Excuse me, Gabriella, but I’m on the fence about if I want dick for the rest of my life, so, you mind if I bang you and make sure?’’

Steve wanted to raise his voice, but was very aware of the little one on his chest so he said in a harsh whisper, “That’s why I’m saying give the relationship a real chance. Danny, you remember that night in the interrogation room? When I confronted you about your affair with Rachel?”

“What does that have to with this?”

“You told me that if Rachel showed up at your door, you would have sex with her.”

“I believe my words were that I’d make her come until morning.”

Steve tilted his head, “Yes, those were your words. So nice to hear them again, thank-you.”

“You brought it up, pal.”

“I did. This is not going...I brought that up because that’s how I feel about us. I’m always going to be here. We’re always gonna spend more time with one another than with any woman in our lives. You developing a relationship with Gabby won’t change that. And if it looks like it’s gonna grow to the point that you want to marry her, then that is your answer. And if it doesn’t, then I’m still here.”

“But what if one us want this,” he waved his hand between them, “and the other one wants the girl.”

“Then that’s an answer too. We can’t be together until we’re both ready to be together. In the mean time, we’re still not exactly apart.”

“OK, but there’s a pretty big factor we’re not talking about yet.”

“What’s that?”

“That either you and I are having sex and we’re not telling the women in our lives that we are doing that...or we’re not having sex.” 

Silence filled the room like woodsmoke.

“Steve?”

“All I know is that if you show up at my door, I’ll make you come until morning.”

“That’s not fair. You can’t put that on me.”

“I’m not. I’m stating a fact. You come at me, I will give in to you. I know there will be no way I won’t. If you feel you can’t be with Gabby and me at the same time, I’ll step back and wait. If you still want to be here, door’s open. It’s easier for me because Catherine isn’t stationed here and she’s not expecting me to be exclusive with her.” He took a deep breath. “In the short-term though, I don’t think we should have sex again until you and Gabby do.”

Danny shook his head. “It is only because I’m seriously sleep deprived that I’m even thinking of agreeing to this.”

Steves stood up and walked over to the portable crib that Danny had set up beside the couch. “How do I...?”

Danny whispered, “Carefully. Hold him and bend close to the pad and lay him on his back and then pull away slowly.” Steve followed his directions. Charlie gave a whole-body shiver when the warmth of Steve’s chest was gone, but Danny quickly swaddled him with the blanket and the baby settled back asleep.

“I’m gonna sleep down here, so I can hear him if he wakes up.”

“C’mere.” Steve pulled him into a hug, holding him tight. “Even with the mess and my kitchen almost on fire, it still felt good coming home to you.”

“I’m glad you’re home too.

5050505050

Steve watched Danny, Grace, and Gabby out on the beach. He was proud of his partner for how he’d put all this together. Danny was better at the whole relationship thing than he was, which was his own private reason for pushing Danny away right now. He’d rather have him just like this than not at all. If their relationship ever broke down; all he knew was that he truly wasn’t sure he could survive a Danny-less life.


	14. S2:19 Kalele (Support)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is confused by Danny’s odd display of jealousy when Mary shows up unexpectedly. But before his birthday is over, Steve will get a call that takes him away for awhile.

“Why don’t you let me teach you how to surf?” Steve asked into the phone as he laid in bed for his nightly phone call with Danny.

“I know how to surf.”

“You kinda know how to surf from the few lessons Kono gave you. I want you to surf like a native.”

“Even if you tattoo a giant pineapple on my ass, I will never be a native to this rock.”

“Hmmm”

“What is that?”

“Envisioning your ass.”

“Wait. Are you wanting to take me surfing so you can see me half-naked in my swim suit?”

“Wasn’t the _entire_ reason. More like a very positive side-benefit.”

“You can have me fully naked right now. Will take me 20 minutes to drive there.”

“You slept with Gabby yet?”

“You woke up to how stupid this is yet?”

“Nope.”

“Well, that’s unfortunate ‘cause someone got a little excited at the idea of a car ride.” Danny was lying in his bed and pulled down his boxers, letting his erection pop free.

“That’s not my fault. You’re the one putting ideas in his head.” Steve snickered at the double entendre.

“Pretty sure you started it by daydreaming about my ass.” He was stroking himself now which caused his breathing to hitch.

“Daniel, are you touching yourself right now?”

“You’re not? Disappointed in you, pal. Keep up.”

“Oh, I’m hard. Was just trying to ignore it, not bring it out to play.”

“You’ve made him sad because he has to play alone.”

“My cock does not have feelings. Only yours is as sensitive as you are.”

“It is. Very sensitive. And responsive. And wanting to be inside you.”

“Fuuuuccccck, Danny.” Steve gave in and yanked his shorts down and started stroking himself.

“There you go.” Danny whispered. “Just like that night when you rode me hard and came all over me.”

“Danny...” Steve closed his eyes and stretched his arm back, inserting his middle finger inside himself as his strokes quickened, his breath ragged.

“Your breathing changed. What did you do?”

“I’m fingering...”

Danny groaned as he visualized that. “Your fingers do feel very good.” His own strokes came faster now.

They listened to one another’s breathing, each building toward... “Danny? Are you...?”

“Not yet babe. Wait until I tell you.” Steve whined. “Don’t cry to me. You started this. You come when I tell you.”

Steve writhed on his bed, trying to hold back but still moving his hand and fingers. He didn’t want to stop but if Danny didn’t give him permission, he’d have to edge himself and he didn’t want that. “Please, Danny.”

“Shhh, babe. Almost. You can do it.” He heard Steve start to pant in short huffs and Danny knew he was straining to keep his orgasm at bay and that pushed him to the brink...

“Now, Steve. Come for me.” The sweet sounds of Steve’s release made Danny come harder than he had in a month, which was the last time Steve had let him in his bed.

“I love you.” Steve said, his voice still thick with arousal.

“And yet I’m here and you’re there.” Danny sighed.

“If you pulled your head out of your ass long enough, you’d realize I’m doing this because I love you.”

“Oh yeah? How do you figure that?”

“Because you can’t say it back.” Steve spoke with quiet seriousness.

“Yes I do.”

“No, you don’t. Not in the words. Not on your own.”

“Steve, you know how I feel about you.”

“I do. I’m just pointing out that I can say it and you can’t...yet.”

“Yet.” Steve took that as a positive.

“I’ll pick you up at 0700. Be ready because the best waves are supposed to hit at 0725.”

“I’ll be ready. Sweet dreams, babe.”

“If you’re in them, always.”

5050505050

“Yo! Mr. Sensitive! Do you want me to put cheese on your eggs?” Steve called out to Danny from the kitchen. Danny was in the dining room flipping through the paper because Steve had barred him from the kitchen while he made breakfast this morning.

“Did you put sausage or bacon in the eggs?” Danny hollered back.

“Yes.”

“Then no.” He was picky about his eggs. Eggs and veggies with cheese was fine, but eggs and meat with cheese was gross. He didn’t know why, just always felt that way.

Steve came in carrying two plates and a couple forks rolled up in paper napkins in one hand. He set the omelets down, then went back to grab the coffee pot and a mug for himself. Danny was still drinking the cup he’d poured for Mary earlier.

“You gonna tell me what all that was with Mary earlier?” Steve asked as he sat down next to Danny and began eating.

“Not if you keep calling me Mr. Sensitive.”

“You called yourself that. I asked...”

“I admitted to my feelings, which are honest and true. More than I can say for you.”

“Admit your feelings? Is that what you’re doing right now?”

“I am, which you’d know if you were paying attention.”

Steve eyed him quizzically. “You’re disappointed, maybe because you’d thought you would try and start somethin’ before we headed in to work, but Mary showed up. Then I brought her coffee but not you, which you took to mean I was ignoring you. Finally, she made a joke about us being only friends, which you’re touchy about because I’ve put our sex life on temporary hold. Those the feelings you’re admitting?”

Danny shook his head and focused on his food, not wanting to give Steve the satisfaction of being right, but also needing to cover what he was sure would look like sappy devotion on his face. No one but his Ma had ever read him so easily. It was why he felt like Steve was part of him; why they were connected in a way he knew he would never be connected to anyone else.

“You might as well just tell me I’m right.” Steve teased.

“You’re not wrong.” Danny wouldn’t look at him.

“OK. But clearly I did something wrong. You’re all avoid-y now. Danny. Look at me.”

He did. “I know you think you’re doing something noble here, with this little moratorium you’re putting me through. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“Don’t like it? Do something about it. The power to end this is in your hands, pal.”

Danny sighed. He didn’t want to go round and round about this again, so he let it drop.

5050505050

The team and Mary had taken Steve out for a birthday dinner and each of his ohana brought him presents, which he had not expected. He had opened Danny’s last on purpose. It was a ZT 0888 folding knife. He as he looked it over, he read the word engraved on one side; **KULEANA**

“You know what it means?” Danny asked.

“Yeah.” Steve swallowed hard. “It’s one of the tenets of Aloha, similar to ohana. It means ‘Sacred Duty’; that you acknowledge you have a reason for being and you accept the responsibility. Danny, it’s beautiful. Mahalo.” Danny nodded at him and the whole group fell quite for a moment.

Steve looked around the table. The four of them were his whole world, his family. Chin held up his glass “Happy Birthday Steve.” The rest of them responded and their glasses clinked together.

They were all standing near the front of the restaurant waiting for Kono and Mary to come out of the restroom. Steve turned to Danny. “If you want, Chin can give Mary and I a lift home.”

“I’m happy to do it.” Danny answered, secretly hoping to get a final moment alone with Steve before the day was over.

“OK. Thanks.”

Mary and Danny took turns teasing Steve on the drive home and Danny remembered why he really liked Mary. She had very “Jersey” quality to her that he appreciated. When they got to the house, Danny got out to help Mary up from the back seat and as Steve walked around to hand him the keys he asked, “Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Yeah, sure. Mary, I’ll meet you inside.” Steve called to her since she was already almost to the front door. “Everything OK?”

Danny pulled on Steve’s shirt moving them away from the light over the garage and more into the shadows. “Yeah, I just have one more present for you.”

“You do huh?” Steve asked, smiling at him.

“Yeah.” Danny pulled him into a kiss, and then wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist and shoulders in a tight hug, his mouth next to Steve’s ear.

“I love you,” he whispered. He felt Steve pull back but he held him tight and kept talking. “I tell you every day, just not in words. I can say the words. But I’d rather show you than tell you. Happy Birthday.” He kissed his ear and let go.

“I wish you could stay.” Steve took Danny’s hand and held it.

“Oh, now you want it. Great timing, babe.”

“I never stopped wanting you.”

“Tomorrow night. After Mary flies out. I’m getting you naked and we’ll see if we can’t peel back the curtain on some of those longings of yours.”

Steve closed his eyes and breathed deep before opening them again to see Danny smiling at him. Danny was walking backward to his car as he said, “That was good babe. Nice control. Looking forward to seeing how far I can push that.”

He felt rooted to the spot as he watched Danny back out and drive away. His phone vibrated and he pulled it out, surprised to see Lori’s name. He didn’t think she even knew when his birthday was.

“Hey Lori.”

“Hey Steve.” She was whispering. “I...uh...I have some intel for you.”

Steve looked at his watch. “It’s almost 0230 in D.C. Why are you calling so late?”

“I’m in my director’s office at DHS. Earlier I saw a redacted doc on his desk and I had to make sure.”

“Lori, what are you doing? You’re gonna get yourself...”

“I’m doing anything that anyone on Five-0 wouldn’t do. Now shut up and listen. Most of the page is blacked out, except for two words.”

“What are the two words?”

“Shelburn and McGarrett.”

“Lori, get out of there. Now.”

“Already on my way out. I know you’re not the only McGarrett in the world, but I felt I had to tell you anyway.”

“Lori, listen to me. OK. Don’t follow this anymore. You hear me? Don’t talk about it, don’t ask about it.”

“Steve, you’re scaring me.”

“Good. Stay away from this. You hear me?”

“Yeah, OK.”

He calmed down a bit. “It’s good to hear your voice though. We miss you out here.”

“I miss you guys too.”

“You know you’re welcome back anytime.”

“I know. I’m where I need to be though.”

“I’m glad. And hey, maybe call me sometime when you’re not breaking and entering?”

She gave him a snort. “I had a key.”

“Lori, I’ve gotta go, but promise me you will keep a sharp eye on your six for a while. If anything seems out of place, you call us. You may not have the badge but you’re still ohana.”

Her whole body fluttered when he said that and then she felt sad. “I promise.”

“Good girl. Be careful.” He ended the call and went in the house. Why did Homeland Security have redacted files about him and Shelburn? What had Joe gotten himself into now? He went to his room and started packing.

It was after 2300 by the time he was back downstairs. Mary was curled up on the couch, asleep, while reruns of some sitcom ran on the TV. He clicked it off and ran his hand gently across the top of her head.

“Mary? Wake up, hon.”

She blinked awake, eyes trying to focus. “What is it?”

“I have to go undercover for a few days. But I need you to give Danny a message when he gets here in the morning.”

“If you’re going undercover, shouldn’t he be going with you? He’s your partner.”

“Not for this. Look, when he comes by to pick me up, tell him I’ll talk to him at the office. OK?”

“Yeah, OK. But why don’t you just text him or leave him a voicemail?”

“If I call or text him right now, he’ll answer and I can’t talk to him tonight.”

“Steve, I don’t understand.”

“I know, but it’s important that you do what I’m asking. Will you do that?”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course.”

“Thank-you.” He kissed her forehead. “I love you.” He stood up and grabbed his bag.

“Steve?”

“Yeah.”

“Be careful. I can’t lose...”

“You won’t. I promise. Go back to sleep.” He grabbed the keys to the truck and left.

“Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.” She clicked the TV back on. Something inside her was telling her she should call Danny but she realized she didn’t know his number. When she saw him in the morning, she would make sure to get it from him.


	15. S2: E22 Ua Hopu (Arrested)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After three weeks of fear and worry, Steve is back. He has much to atone for, however.

Every night for three weeks now, Danny would call Steve’s cell, though he stopped expecting an answer after the first 10 days or so. At first, he left messages, but then it started to feel embarrassing. Either Steve didn’t want to talk to him or couldn’t. And the latter was not something he could bear thinking about or he would fully break down.

Every few days, he went over to Steve’s. That first morning, he didn’t want to scare Mary so he pretended that Steve leaving like that was totally normal and of no concern, instead of driving Code 3 back to the Palace like he wanted to do. After returning from Los Angeles, he decided to go through everything Steve left on Shelburne, because what else was there to do?

He almost hadn’t answered the call from the unknown number but something told him to take it. As soon as he heard Steve’s voice he wanted to collapse but held himself together because the team was around and as he got more details of what his partner was doing in Japan, he could tell Steve was still in real danger. The one tiny thing he had clung to over the past three weeks was that his last words to Steve included “I love you”. So he would save the full breadth of his emotions for when Steve was safely in front of him.

Once the helicopter had landed and he could touch him and know for certain Steve was OK, Danny focused on work. Steve was arranging with HPD to properly secure Wo Fat straight to Halawa, Chin and Kono were collecting and tagging all the weapons, and Danny called for a tow truck to take the sedan he’d boosted back to the address on the car’s registration. He didn’t know if the car belonged to the Agent who helped him or someone else. He hoped the old guy was OK because he’d pistol-whipped him pretty good. He didn’t know the guy’s name and didn’t want to endanger him by trying to find out.

After an hour, they had all finished their duties and piled into the Suburban. Steve and Danny sat in the back, both tense from their proximity, yet not being able to react as they wanted to. The whole car was subdued from fatigue and the heavy burden Steve’s leaving had put on the team. Every one of them had worried about him.

Danny had assumed Chin would take them all back to the Palace, but his mind was unfocused so he was surprised when the car stopped and they were at Steve’s. Chin turned to the back seat.

“See you guys in the morning.” Chin looked at each of them in turn.

“Mahalo.” Steve got opened his side and hopped out. Danny was still taking in what was happening when Steve said, “Danny? You coming?”

Danny found himself looking at Chin, who gave him a slight smile and quick nod. Danny nodded back, got out and followed Steve inside.

Chin and Kono watched until the door closed.

“You sure about this, Cos?” Kono asked.

“You imagine those two are going to be bearable until they work through this? Even when they like each other, they argue like fools. Danny’s been half-crazed with worry, not to mention the barley-simmering rage he’s been holding over Steve leaving the way he did. I’m looking out for us and them.”

“Steve’s gonna have a problem with Adam.”

“You brought that on yourself, Hoa Hānau.”

“Appreciate the support.” She said dryly.

“Well, if it’s any comfort, that in there is gonna take a while to undo, so he’s not going to be focused on your bootie calls.”

“Assuming they don’t kill each other first.” Kono said, mostly joking.

“ʻO ia ka ʻoiaʻiʻo.” Chin agreed.

5050505050

Once inside, Danny leaned back against the door, arms crossed. Steve pulled off his gun and thigh holster, along with his webbed belt, and the small pouch that held the knife Danny had given him. He dropped all of this on the sideboard across from the door.

“I’m gonna go take a shower and then we can talk.” Steve said, anxious to get the dirt, blood, and sweat off his body and into clean clothes.

“You can shower after you take me to the Palace.”

“What are you...”

“My car is still at the precinct Steve. I need a ride. Take me to the office so I can get my car and go home.”

“Why do you want to go home? I thought we were gonna...”

“We are not gonna anything because I’m mad at you.”

“I know. And I want to talk about that but I’ve got a fair amount of Wo Fat’s blood drying on my skin right now and would really like to get it off.”

“FUCK!” Danny threw his hands up and clenched his fists. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“What the hell is wrong with _you_? I’m here. I’m fine. I will tell you everything. I thought you were OK. You hugged me and...”

“I got black-hooded by the CIA today Steven! You know why? Because they wanted to make sure the Yakuza killed Wo Fat and if you were gonna die in the process, well, that was just collateral damage. ‘Cept they knew I was the biggest threat to their little plan because I will literally kill people to keep you safe. So I had to pretend to be as indifferent as possible because Wo Fat was standing right next to you and the one thing I learned crystal clear today is what happens when someone figures out that the second-biggest kink in my armor is you!”

“You got black-hooded? When? I don’t understand?”

“Right after we last spoke. When you boarded the plane. They knew the plane was going to go down with you on it. They pulled me in, tied me to a chair, and told me they were crashing your plane.”

Steve had walked close to him now and saw the bruise on his left cheek from where Agent Kendrdicks had decked him. He touched it lightly and Danny winced.

“Babe, I...”

“Every night for three weeks I called you. Three weeks of nothing; when I didn’t know if you had cut me out or you were captured and being tortured. Or if you were not coming back at all. Then yesterday I hear your voice and my heart leaps because at least you’re alive. And I’m so happy; I’m on-my-knees grateful you’re standing here right now...I’m also so furious I can barely look at you.”

“Danny, please...” Steve moved closer but Danny shoved him.

“Don’t touch me.”

“OK.” Steve held up both hands and took a step back. “Look, I will literally do anything for you not to go home, alright. It will take me less than five minutes to shower and then whatever you need to do or say to me, I’m all in. Just don’t go. Please.”

“You have ten minutes. Five to shower and five to talk and then I’m calling a cab.”

“Ten minutes. Gotcha.” Steve ran upstairs as fast as his body could go. He would need to dress his wounds at some point, but that needed to wait.

Danny couldn’t sit, so he paced a round the front room, a war raging within. One side wanted desperately to pull Steve close, to kiss him; make love to him. To celebrate that he was alive and home. The other side resented every minute of anxiety and fear that had clutched his gut over the past three weeks and he wanted Steve to suffer for it. To make him feel the pain Danny’s been carrying for almost a month. Truth was, it was a dead heat for which side was winning.

“Danny? I need some help.” Steve called down from his room. Danny hit his fists together in frustration before heading upstairs.

When he entered the bathroom, he stopped cold. Steve’s chest, back, and abdomen were covered in dark, purple bruises. On his left side, he was trying to put ointment on a large abrasion at the bottom of his rib cage. It wrapped around his back to just above where his bath towel was tied on his hips.

“Holy shit.” Danny went to him, pulling the tube of Neosporin out if his hand. He washed his hands and then gingerly dabbed the clear gel wherever Steve’s back looked like road kill.

“Between Wo Fat’s boot kicking me and the bark of a tree, my skin’s a bit scraped up.”

“If you want me to feel sorry for you...”

“I don’t.” Steve interrupted. “I wasn’t even gonna show you, but I can’t reach it myself and it’s big enough that if it gets infected it could get me really sick, so I needed help.”

“Well, I feel sorry anyway.”

“Thank-you.” Steve reached for his shirt, but Danny caught his wrist.

“You should leave it to the air. Your shirt will just stick to it anyway.”

Steve nodded and dropped the shirt, instead grabbing the worn-cotton running shorts he’d brought into the bathroom with him. He hesitated for a moment but then he dropped his towel off and pulled his shorts on. Danny watched him, but was actually looking to see if Steve had more damage.

Their eyes met and they just looked at one another for a minute or so, then Steve walked closer. He unclipped the the badge at Danny’s waist and set it on the counter. Danny stayed frozen and non-reactive, watching carefully.

One finger slid into the gap where the leather of Danny’s belt folded through the buckle and pulled it open. Steve held the holstered P30 with one hand while he pulled the belt out of it’s loops until it was free and he set the gun on the counter by Danny’s badge.

Steve folded the belt in half and placed it in Danny’s hand, folding his fingers around it. Danny closed his eyes at what Steve was offering because it was very tempting. That primal urge inside him growled loud in his ears. When he opened his eyes and could once again see the bruises that already covered his partner, he knew which side would win tonight.

Danny shook his head. “No.” He rolled his belt up and set it down

“I’m giving you permission.” Steve said

“And I’m telling you no. For one thing, your body is practically one massive bruise as it is. For another, I’m actually angry with you and therefore it’s not the right time for me do that to you.”

“Tell me what I can do to make this better then? I want to make things right with you.”

“Right now, that offer feels a lot more like it’s about you wanting to feel less guilty; not you making things up to me.” Danny walked out of the bathroom into Steve’s room, who followed.

“Can’t both happen at the same time?”

“Not that way.” Danny sat on edge of the bed. “Steve, if we ever get to a place where I’m belting you, you’re going to know exactly why that is happening and there will be boundaries and discussions around it.”

Steve walked to the bed to sit beside him and Danny held up his hand, palm out. “Stop. You sit on the floor.” He could see the confusion on Steve’s face, which was exactly why Danny wouldn’t give into his impulse before; Steve still did not understand what this was about.

“What? Why?”

“Because I told you to. Sit on the floor. On your butt, legs crossed; like the lotus position in yoga.”

“Okay.” Steve drew the word out slow, but did as Danny said. Danny sat more fully on the edge of the bed so his feet were off the floor.

“Before you left, we had made plans to spend the night together. Plans that included something you’ve been asking me about for long time now.” Danny started, looking down at Steve.

“I remember.” Steve said, meeting Danny’s gaze, the purpose of the difference in their positions finally registering.

“That takes a lot of trust. Trust you broke.” Steve dropped his head. Those three words hitting him harder than Danny’s fists or a belt ever could.

“You left me a letter that said nothing, but that was after you told your sister how I could find it. That means you didn’t talk to me on purpose. That you knew you could speak to me directly and intentionally didn’t. That was a door you closed and left me to believe there was a very real likelihood it would never open again. You shut me out. Why did you do that?”

“I don’t know.”

Danny hopped off the bed. He squatted in front of Steve. “Cross your arms, holding an elbow in each hand.”

Steve wove his arms together like he normally did. “No. Like this.” Danny pulled Steve’s hands out from inside his elbows and instead had him cup his elbows from the outside. It only took Steve a few moments to realize this was much less restful than the other way because he had to focus on keeping his hands where they were.

“Don’t move. I’ll be back.”

“Where are you going?”

“Apparently, we don’t have to answer that question for each other.” Steve watched him walk out of the room.

After five minutes or so, Danny returned carrying a couple water bottles and a plate that from Steve’s vantage point only had a pairing knife on it. Danny set the plate and water on the end table and left again. Steve could now see that the plate had a banana and a couple protein bars. A moment later, Danny returned carrying the old Shaker-model chair that normally sat out in the hall.

He had been nine or ten when he’d gone with his mom to an auction up on the North Shore. That chair was the only thing she bought and he’d helped her repair and refinish it. Danny set it down just off to his left side near the end table.

“How long has it been since you ate?” Danny asked as he sat down.

Steve had to think about that. Not since he boarded the plane. “Uh, ten hours, I think.”

Danny opened one of the bars and used the knife to cut off a small chunk and held it to Steve’s lips with his fingers. Steve leaned away.

“I can feed myself.”

“Yes, you can. You are very capable, strong, and independent. You’re a Navy SEAL and command the Five-0 Task Force. There is absolutely no reason for you to depend on anyone, even me. Unless...”

“Unless I chose to.” Danny gave him a slight nod. The smell of the protein bar, while not much, was enough to awaken his body to exactly how hungry he was, his belly giving a growl.

“What do you need Steve?”

“I’m hungry.”

“And?”

“I’m hungry and I need...” he pulled into himself, embarrassed, feeling the flush of heat in his cheeks. He couldn’t do it.

Danny set the piece back on the plate and clapped his hands together. “You remember me telling you that what this was like in your head was different than experiencing it? Here’s the thing. I know you can take a beating. Shit, look at you right now. So you having the stamina for physical punishment doesn’t impress me all that much.

“Right now, there is something broken between us. You know it and offered to surrender your body to me as away of healing that. This is my counter-offer. You want to rebuild trust? Then this is what I’m offering. But it is still entirely your choice. You can say no to this and we’ll talk tomorrow instead.”

“No.” Steve answered quickly. The one thing he knew he wanted was for Danny to stay. He steeled himself and said evenly, “Danny, I’m hungry. Would you...” he swallowed several times. This was so hard. “Will you please feed me?”

“Of course, babe.”

Danny gave him bits of bar and slices of banana, as well as drinks of water. With each bite, Steve felt something inside of himself shatter. He felt out of control at first, but as he ate, Danny talked to him, about what he’d learned about Max’s mom and the guys from NCIS who had ended up on the island, along with his subsequent trip to LA. As Steve gave himself over to the whole experience, he was overwhelmed by a sudden and desperate need for Danny. Not a sexual need, but as though Danny was his literal source of oxygen. Tears fell and Danny wiped his hands on a paper towel as he stood up.

“Give me your hands.” Danny held his out. Steve clasped them and Danny pulled him up. “Go brush your teeth and use the bathroom if you need to.”

At the panicked look on Steve’s face, Danny added, “I’m not going anywhere. Just taking the plate to the kitchen. I’ll be here when you’re done.

When Steve emerged from the bathroom, Danny had changed into flannel pants and a t-shirt and was standing by the bed. He walked to him but stopped when he saw Danny tilt his head at him. “Shorts off. Get into bed.”

He started to ask why but the look on his partner’s face reminded him that right now, it didn’t matter why. Danny’d given a direction and the expectation was he’d follow it. Steve slipped his shorts off and climbed, naked, under the covers. Danny turned off the light and got in behind him. With strong hands, Danny rolled him to his side so he faced away from him. Danny laid close at his back, wrapping an arm over his waist and threaded their fingers together. He could feel soft breaths at his neck, and wished Danny would kiss him there.

Even with his fatigue and emotional rawness, having Danny up against him like this flooded his cock. He tried to lower their hands to his throbbing erection but his partner resisted.

“You need sleep. That will go away on it’s own.” He let out a whimper because he knew that would be true, but not for a long time.

“Shhh, settle.” Danny whispered as he tightened his arm, and wove a leg between Steve’s, holding him close and still. “If you need it, breathe in deep and exhale out slowly.”

He did just that, not sure at what point he fell asleep.

505050505

The first light of dawn gave the room a faint orange glow as Steve blinked awake. He looked over to see Danny on his back, still asleep. With slight trepidation, like a kid trying to open a pack of cookies without his parents hearing, he slid a hand beneath the waistband of Danny’s shorts and wrapped his fingers around the soft flesh. He caressed the head with his thumb, enjoying the rush of power as the cock changed from flaccid to firm in his hand. He was so focused on Danny’s cock moving in his hand, he didn’t realize his partner was awake until he felt fingers at the back of his head. He looked at him, a bit guiltily, eyes full of arousal.

“Good morning, Danno.”

“Mornin’ to you too, babe.”

“Is this OK?” Steve increased the pace of his strokes, as if daring Danny to tell him to stop.

“We’ll deal with your impertinence later. For now, finish what you started.”

Steve smiled at that, taking it to mean he was free to do as he pleased. He pulled the shorts down and had the thick cock in his mouth in an instant, though he was in no rush to make Danny come. He’d alternate between sucking up and down to pulling off completely and offering small kisses and licks from the head down, and then would dedicate his attention to Danny’s balls or the smooth span of skin between his sack and ass.

Danny was passive through it all, simply running his fingers lazily across Steve’s shoulder and down his arm. Finally, Steve wanted to hear the beautiful moans of Danny’s orgasm, so he focused on creating friction along the shaft while pulsing the cockhead against the top of his mouth. When the thick fluid filled his mouth, he felt a bit deflated because Danny had been quiet through it all. He swallowed and sat up, looking at him. There was the familiar red flush on his skin beneath the soft curls of hair, but Danny just laid there, detached.

Steve’s brow furrowed. “Did you...you look like...did you enjoy that?”

“Didn’t hate it.” He answered nonchalantly, as though Steve had asked him if he’d liked Kamekona’s latest shrimp recipe.

“Danny, I don’t...What is going on?”

“We’re not square yet.”

“I’m...ugh.” Steve sat up, crossed his legs and looked down at Danny, who stayed still. “I’m trying here. Why are you being like this?”

“Because you’re still focused on how to make yourself feel better, so you don’t have to feel guilty. I’m waiting for you decide that you care about what I need to forgive you.”

“I do care about that. Whatever it takes, I’ll do. Just tell me. Please.” He no longer cared what it took, anything Danny demanded of him, he would obey. He just wanted them back to normal.

Danny seemed to come to a decision because he said, “Lie on your back. Hands flat beneath you.” He pulled a bottle of lube from the nightstand drawer. Steve did as asked, his cock already hard and bouncing against his belly.

Danny dribbled a generous amount of lube along his cock and testicles, slicking it all over both with his hand, spending a lot of time on his balls, massaging and pulling at the skin, loosening it and using the heat of his hand to draw his testicles away from his body. It felt rough but good, though Steve missed having attention paid to his cock, which was now dripping clear liquid onto his stomach.

He realized that Danny’s hand had stilled with his scrotum in his fist. Steve looked down and could see his balls resting at the top of Danny’s closed fist, skin tight across the two round globes. Anxiety flashed through him. Even a light brush against them like this was going to hurt.

“You can’t apologize unless you know what you’re sorry for.” Danny said. There was no anger or malice in Danny’s face, only seriousness.

“I know. And I’m ready.” Steve said, pushing his fears aside, trusting that Danny wouldn’t seriously hurt him, but steeling for what was definitely not going to be pleasant.

“Whenever you’re ready.” Danny stayed kneeling between his legs.

“I left without talking to you, denying you the chance to give input about what I was planning to do.” The slap was fast and not that hard but his whole body screamed and his abdominal muscles spasmed anyway. “FUCK!” He cried out, huffing his breaths until he could bring his pain under control. He looked at Danny and they nodded at each other.

“I ignored your calls and messages, scaring you and causing you to worry about me.” This slap was harder than the first and Steve curled reflexively. Danny didn’t let go but massaged Steve’s leg and abdominal muscles with his free hand and guided his hands back beneath him reminding Steve of the position his was supposed to maintain.

“One more Steve. Think about it.”

“I am. I’m not sure I’ll say it right though.”

“I’ll help you.”

“Um, while we were still...while I was still submitting to you,” He looked to see if he was on the right track and Danny gave him a gentle smile. With a stronger voice he said, “After I had surrendered to you, I touched you without asking.”

“Almost there. Why is that wrong?” Danny’s fingers stroked Steve’s sore balls lightly, which served to remind him of both what was coming and why he was giving this control to his partner.

Steve rocked his shoulders, thinking. “Because I was doing what I wanted, not what you wanted or asked me to do.” The final slap landed and Danny released him. Even though it had been the hardest blow, it somehow hurt less than the others and he recovered quickly. He swallowed hard but stayed on his back, waiting.

Danny poured out more lube stroking him a few times before slicking himself. “Knees up.” Steve complied and savored the stretch as Danny entered him, thrusting in and out languidly. Time dragged as slowly as the cock across his prostate, the stimulation creating an achey desperate need for friction against his shaft.

“Danny, I need...” His voice trailed off because Danny’s pace increased as he spoke.

“Need what?”

“I need you to touch me. Or let me touch myself. Please.”

“No.” 

Steve growled in frustration and bounced his hips up trying to make his dick slap against his stomach so he could feel something. Danny responded by reaching under his thighs and pulling his hips further up against him, which meant the strokes against his prostate were now more random and the stimulation reduced.

“Dammit.” Steve cursed. Danny drilled him with tight, short strokes for a while until he was confident Steve got the message and pulled out.

“Roll over.”

When Steve was on his hands and knees, Danny added more lube and sank into him. Reaching around, he stroked Steve a few times then left him hanging free as he pounded into him hard. Steve felt the familiar pressure build but it was staying just on the edge of satisfaction. He dropped his head, looking at himself. He realized that the liquid dripping out of him was now white. The sight overwhelmed him and he ejaculated, but the orgasm felt different. “Oh, fuck.”

Now Danny took hold of him, still thrusting but this time fisting his over-sensitive cock. Steve shouted curses as his nerves fried and he came hard a second time. Danny felt it on his hand and milked him a while longer before letting go and finally came inside him. Steve fell to his belly, exhausted. Danny collapsed beside him, pulling the blanket over them and they both fell asleep.

5050505050

Danny’s alarm had woken up the second time and Steve instantly knew things were better. After they showered and dressed, Danny came up to him, putting two fingers inside the front pockets of his cargo pants, pulling his hips close. Steve kissed him and felt Danny fishing in his pockets. He broke the kiss and leaned back. Danny pulled one hand out, Steve’s Navy SEAL challenge coin in his fingertips.

“From now on, when you give me this, you’re telling me you are submitting. When I give it back, you’re my best friend and commanding officer again. You good with that?” Danny picked up Steve’s hand and placed the large coin into his palm.

“Yeah.” Steve grinned wide. “I’m very good with that.” He pushed the coin back into his pocket and hugged him, kissing his ear. “I’m so sorry Danno. I love you.”

“Love you too.”


	16. S2: E23 Ua Hala (He is Gone/A Death in the Family)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shorty just to prove Steve can be taught and to bridge to next season.

Grace had been with Danny most of the week since Steve came back, which was hard on both of them. While things were better, they weren’t totally normal and the need to be professionally distant with one another at work, coupled with Steve feeling unstable in their latest dynamic, meant they were still awkward with one another. Something that came to a head with Danny and his “private call”, which Steve couldn’t admit scared the living shit out of him. If Rachel won and was able to leave for Vegas with the kids, Danny would follow them. What made his heart clench hardest was that Danny was hesitant to fight hard, dirty even, to ensure Rachel couldn’t move. It was a reminder that he would always come after the kids. That was as it should be. Still hurt like hell.

So when Danny told him he was cutting out early to spend time with Grace after school before she went back to her mom’s, Steve had smiled and let him go. He’d been researching custody laws in Hawai’i when Joe showed up.

As Steve held the phone to dial out, he said, “Joe, do you mind stepping out for a second?”

Joe tilted his head. “Nope.”

Danny’s phone went to voicemail so he had to leave a message instead.

“Danny, I’m sure you’re talking to Grace, so I’m sorry to do this, this way. Joe is taking me to meet Shelburne. I know what you’re thinking, but I don’t think Shelburne is dangerous to me. The way Joe’s talking about him, I just...I feel OK about it. I will call or text you every night and I will try to answer if you call. I promise. And I’m sorry for leaving you in charge of Five-0 again. I owe you. OK. He’s waiting, so I gotta go. Text me when you get this. Love you.”

He hung up the phone, put his badge in the drawer of his desk, and closed down his computer.

5050505050

 **Met Shelburne** Steve texted Danny.

**Did you get answers?**

**Sort of. Can’t give details. Unsecure Line.**

**You need to return to HI ASAP**

**Why?**

**Unsecure Line**

**OK. Meet at Pearl. 0700 tomorrow.**

**Be safe**

**Always**


	17. S3: E1 La O Na Makuahine (Mother’s Day)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting Doris has Steve in a emotional tailspin. Doesn’t help that it turns out Mother’s Intuition doesn’t diminish at all in twenty years.

Doris was sitting in the passenger seat of the Camaro as it sat in front of her old house. Steve had driven them back to his place so he could pick up the Silverado and take her to the safe house. Since Wo Fat knew where the house was, Danny was standing outside her door, gun drawn and scanning while Steve backed the truck out. Danny opened her door and provided cover until she was in the truck and it had pulled away.

“Joe said you had a solid team around you.”

“They are the best, but we’re a bit banged up right now, so keep your opinions to yourself.” Steve had been dealing with her pushy questions since Japan and he was getting tired of it

“No opinions. They seem great. Was just wondering how professional it is to be sleeping with Danny.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Steve blasted at her.

“Oh, is it supposed to be a secret?”

“Why on earth do you think I’m sleeping with Danny?”

“Seriously? Uh, OK. For one thing, he’s exceptionally defensive of you. I only just met him and he’s giving me grief, so it’s clear that he’s close enough to you to have empathy. That means he’s feeling what you’re feeling.”

“I know what empathy means.” Steve focused on the road, increasing his speed so the 90 minute drive to the safe house would be over as soon as possible.

“Then there’s the fact that when I asked him about his current relationship, he kept looking at you. In fact, he kept eye contact me right up until I asked him specifically about his sex life and he instinctively looked at you. Twice. But it wasn’t until I accused him of not being willing to commit to his relationship that he got his most aggressive with me, so he’s rather sensitive about your relationship right now.”

Steve gave no response but inwardly cursed Danny for this. He’d been talking to Gov. Denning, so he’d only half-heard this conversation. To his ear, nothing Danny had said seemed odd or revealing, but body language was instinctive and Danny probably had no idea what he was communicating to someone like Doris.

“Finally, you seem to have a cute little pet name for him. He got very upset when I tried to use it.”

“You called him Danno?”

“That’s what you call him. How was I supposed to know that wasn’t what he went by?”

“It’s not. He...” Steve stopped himself. Telling her that the only people Danny lets call him Danno are Grace and himself will not help convince her that he and Danny are not together.

“He what?” She pushed.

“It’s from me. I have nicknames for my closest friends. I use them all the time. He just doesn’t happen to like that one, so he begrudgingly allows me to call him that, but he doesn’t like anyone else to.”

“Interesting. So if you call someone by something other than their name, then they’re important to you.”

“Not important, necessarily, just that they’re in my circle of trust. People in the circle of trust might, for example, get called Mom.”

Doris ignored the dig. “Well, there’s also the very practiced way you pass car keys back and forth. The most obvious thing though is how close you stand to each other. You stand closer than 10 inches, from my observation, usually less than six”

“He’s my partner!”

“They don’t teach you much as a SEAL do they? Standard psychology for personal space is that co-workers stand three to ten _feet_ apart, while good friends will generally decrease that distance to two feet. But less than two feet signals two people who are intimately connected. You two stand less than a foot apart, even when there is plenty of space. Like in the morgue where your arms were practically touching.”

“I don’t see where you get off deciding to come back into my life and then start pushing yourself into all these personal questions with me and my team. It’s rude. Just because you gave birth to me doesn’t mean you know me. If I want to share information with you, I will. Until then, keep your prying questions to yourself.”

“Fine. Whatever.” They rode in silence for a minute and then she said, “Closets are for clothes, Steven. You know that right?”

Steve closed his eyes briefly and then turned on the radio. Loud.

5050505050

Steve’s phone buzzed and he pulled it out to see a text from Doris.

**So do Danny and Lt. Rollins know about each other? I don’t want to accidentally say anything that is gonna mess things up. Though this kind of thing tends to blow up eventually. Remember what happened with those Chilean Miners?**

**I’m deleting your texts.**

**I’m only looking out for you. If she’s your beard, I’ll totally go along with it. Unless he’s the “other woman”. Or man. Not sure what the right phrase is.**

**Text me again and I’m blocking this number.**

5050505050

“Why BooBoo?” Danny asked as they continued along the highway back to the Palace.

“Because he was Yogi’s best friend and was, y’know, vertically challenged.”

Danny shook his head. “I know who BooBoo is for fuck’s sake. I’m asking why you even thought to call me that? We don’t do nicknames. You forced yourself into Danno for your own demented reasons, but otherwise, we don’t have nicknames.”

“That’s not true. You call me Steven all the time. Babe too.”

“I call you Steven because that’s your name. And Babe’s not a nickname. I call everyone Babe.”

Steve shrugged. “I thought I’d try it out. Had no idea you were gonna have a conniption about it.”

“So you just decided to call me BooBoo for no reason at all?” Danny pressed.

“Y’know what. There is a reason. It’s your fault.”

“My fault? Oh, this is about to be fascinating. Truly amazing. Go ahead. Please enlighten me as to how you calling me a cartoon bear is my fault.”

“Because you were too obvious in front of my mother and now she’s asking questions.”

“Too obvious? What are you talking about? Obvious about what?”

Steve glanced at him then back to the road. “Before, when I was on the phone with Denning. She said every time she mentioned sex or you being in a relationship, you looked at me. And then you jumped down her throat when she called you Danno.”

“You know Danno is limited edition. And I did not look at you. I’m not going to have some woman who abandoned her children for 20 years say shit about my parenting. ”

“That was the other thing she said. She said you’re too defensive of me. That you being mad at her too symbolized your having empathy.”

“Empathy.”

“Yeah. It means you’re feeling what I’m feeling.”

“I know what it means!”

“Sorry!” Steve kneaded the steering wheel. “She also said we stand less than 20 inches apart when we don’t have to.”

“Oh, well, that’s fine. I’ll be sure to bring my tape measure along from now on so I stand the exact appropriate distance from you when your mother is around so she can make sure there’s room for Jesus.”

“What is that? What are you talking about?”

“It’s a Catholic thing I learned in college. All the kids at Seton who came from Catholic high schools talked about how the chaperones at their dances would walk around and remind them to ‘leave room for Jesus’ if they were dancing too close together.”

“That’s insane.” Steve chuckled.

“That’s what I said too. But now that Grace is gonna be in high school in a few years, I’m starting to think it’s not so crazy after all.”

“No, that’s still insane.”

“Which is why you will not be allowed to chaperone her dances. You let her get away with anything.”

Steve smiled. “I’m the cool uncle.”

“So what did you tell her?”

“Grace?”

“No dumbass. Your mom. When she laid out all her not-so-incorrect conspiracy theories about our relationship, what’d you say.”

“I didn’t say anything. I told her she was not entitled to ask me questions about my private life.”

“So you deflected.”

“Yes.”

“You know that’s basically an admission, right? Someone asks you a direct question and you don’t answer, that’s admitting guilt.”

“What answer am I supposed to give? Am I supposed say, ‘Yeah, mom, good call. I am regularly fucking my partner and when I’m feeling especially kinky, he dominates me too.’?”

Danny’s eyes went wide at that and smiled a little. “You could lie.”

“Lie? You want me to lie to my mother?”

“She’s been lying to you for 21 years.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not my mother.” Steve said, feeling very hurt all of a sudden. He pulled into the underground garage and parked.

“Steve, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s not you. Look, can we not...”

“Yeah, of course.”

5050505050

As they got out of the Silverado, Doris took long strides to keep up with Steve as they walked to the hangar.

“Steve, slow down a moment.” He did, walking more casually, knowing she wanted to say something.

“I’m very proud of you, y’know. You are clearly good at what you do and you surround yourself with good people.”

“Thank-you.”

“And I’m proud of you no matter you love. Joe hadn’t told me, but it doesn’t bother me. You shouldn’t hide who you really are. Believe me, it’s a rough way to live.”

“My life is exactly how I want it to be.”

“OK.”

5050505050

Steve took in what Danny just said as he watched his mother’s plane take off, his eyes red from emotion and tears he won’t let himself cry. “Will you follow me home?”

“Yeah. I planned on that anyway.”

Back at Steve’s, they ate dinner and talked about Chin. Both men were very worried about him. The inquest was going to say Delano’s shooting was a justified use of lethal force, but both of them knew Chin had killed him. They made a plan for how they were going to care for him and make sure he didn’t go too far down the hole he was standing on the edge of.

After dinner and watching the Jets on Monday Night Football, they were in the master bath, brushing teeth and getting ready for bed. Steve emptied his pockets into the glass dish. He held his challenge coin, looking at it.

“I’m gonna save you the trouble, Babe.” Danny said through a mouth of toothpaste. “We’re not doing that tonight.”

Steve dropped the coin in the dish, embarrassed to be caught looking at it. Then gave Danny a puzzled look.

“Why not?”

“Because you’re already maxed out emotionally. You’ve been on the verge of tears several times today. Plus, you’re still inexperienced as a sub. Maybe at some point you might want sub-space as a way to process a day like today. But not now.”

Crossing his arms, Steve asked, “In making that call though, aren’t you still topping me?”

“Maybe. But you also weren’t sure, so I was simply confirming for you what you were already instinctively feeling.” Danny walked to his side of the bed and put his phone on the charger before getting into the bed. Steve climbed in after and drew Danny close to him.

“I wanna be in you tonight.” He said, nuzzling Danny’s neck, sucking at all his favorite spots.

“Can’t think of anything I want more, Babe.”

As Danny snored lightly against him, Steve laid awake, wondering if he and Danny were really more obvious than they knew. And if they were, why bother hiding it? Then he thought to his contentious call with Governor Denning about Chin and remembered that their main reason for keeping this quiet was so he and Danny could stay on Five-0. Fortunately, the Governor was hardly ever around. His heart clenched when he remembered how Delano was able to manipulate and incapacitate Chin by going after the two people he loved most. Steve shivered, more dedicated to hiding their relationship than ever. Keeping Danny a secret also meant keeping him alive.


	18. S3: E2 Kanalua (Doubt)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny’s continuing to be terrible at concealing his feelings for Steve and when he slips up in front of Kono, things become a lot more complicated because Chin’s tragedy is giving him little tolerance for anything that may put Five-0 at risk.

“Why are we at my apartment? I thought we were heading back to the Palace.” Danny asked as Steve pulled into his designated parking spot.

“Because it’s closer. C’mon.” Steve hopped out and walked away. Danny hit the locks and stepped out, jogging to catch up to Steve, who was already at his door and opening it.

Once they were both inside Steve backed Danny up against the wall, one hand planted next to Danny’s head, bodies close but not touching.

“Kono and Chin are gonna need about 45 minutes to research those paintings in the photos. So you get a choice: I’m about to fuck your mouth or your ass. Which is it gonna be?”

“It’s the middle of our work day Steven. How about neither? What’s gotten into you?” Danny tried to push past but Steve boxed him in.

“What’s gotten in to me is that you’re starting to top me in public and so it seems you need a reminder about which of us is in charge when we are at work.”

“I do not! What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about earlier, at the hostage scene. You talked about our ‘marriage’ and challenged my authority.”

“I always challenge your authority.”

“But we don’t joke about being married. It’s bad enough when other people do it, but you said it in front of Kono. And just now, as we were looking over the art at the warehouse, you put your arm on my shoulder.”

“Oh, so we’re back to my needing the tape measure again? You ever think that maybe, just maybe, you’re reading into things because your mom knows you better than you want her too?”

“Or maybe it’s that you are getting too possessive of me and it’s bleeding over into work.”

They stared at one another for a moment when Danny started to unbuckle Steve’s pants. Steve took a step back from the wall and widened his stance, which would keep the weight of his gun belt up as Danny pulled him out. Dropping to his knees, Danny sucked him back and went all-in on blowing Steve’s cock until he came. Danny stood, but took Steve in his hand, holding him, stroking the head with his thumb.

“I am possessive of you. And if you think I’m showing that in ways I shouldn’t, then find a discreet way to tell me. I recognize that it is getting harder for us to hide what’s going on. But I’m not going out stop arguing with you when you’re making hotheaded calls and you don’t get to discipline me unless I’ve done something to deserve it.” Danny tucked Steve back in and closed up his fly for him.

“I need to get a drink, so I’ll meet you at the car.” Danny turned to walk away.

“Danno, I...” Steve was feeling very conflicted right now.

Turning back, Danny said firmly, “Did I stutter?”

Steve swallowed his response and left, shutting the door to the apartment much harder than necessary.

5050505050

“I’m surprised they’re not back yet.” Chin said to Kono as they imported the information on the artwork they’d found into the command table.

“Maybe they stopped for a quickie.” Kono teased.

“You shouldn’t joke about that kind of thing.” Chin said seriously, looking at his tablet and moving images to the monitors.

“Wasn’t really joking. You can’t tell me that you haven’t noticed things changing between them.”

He stayed focused on what he was doing. “Not really.”

“Chin, Danny talked about being married to Steve today. In front of me and half of HPD.”

That made him look up. “What are talking about?”

“This morning. He and McGarrett were arguing and he said that their marriage was becoming predictable.”

“That’s just Danny being Danny.” Chin answered.

“I was standing right there, Chin. I’m telling you there is definitely something going on.”

“Then it’s our job to stop it.” Chin turned back to what he was doing.

Kono looked at him with surprise. “No, way! I’m not getting in the middle of that and you shouldn’t either. It’s none of our business.”

“You would say that.” Chin said with an edge, not looking at her.

“What is that supposed to mean?” She walked around him so he had to look at her.

“I mean that you’ve also been hiding an inappropriate relationship so maybe your perspective isn’t exactly squeaky-clean. Seems I’m the only one on this team thinking with his head and not their heart.”

“Or maybe you only want to use your head because your heart has been shattered.” Kono spoke softly, placing her hand on his shoulder.

His body stiffened and he gave her a steely gaze. “Don’t.”

“Chin, I almost died that night. McGarrett is dealing with finding out his mother didn’t die 20 years ago, instead she abandoned him. And Danny’s hip deep in a custody battle. What is wrong with any of us finding comfort wherever we can get it?”

“Because it’s too great a risk. Your relationship with Adam put Steve and the mission to bring Wo Fat back in jeopardy. If Steve and Danny are falling in love, that’s...that could bring down all of Five-0. These are not risks I want us taking. And the fact that you can’t see that, is exactly what I’m talking about.”

He dropped the tablet on the table. “Text me when they’re back.” He left and headed out the corner stairwell to get some air on the roof.

5050505050

Chin was grateful to Danny for coming out to talk with him on the beach. He’d been holding some resentment towards him and Steve since his conversation with Kono, but he hadn’t seen them acting any different towards each other so maybe Kono was reading too much into things. As they walked back to the restaurant, Danny paused and Chin followed his gaze to see Steve talking with Catherine.

“Word of advice, brah?”

“Hmm, what?” Danny said distractedly, clearly not wanting to shift his focus off McGarrett.

“Catherine’s been around a long time. She’s good for him.” Chin said, shifting so he blocked Danny’s view of them.

“Yeah. Catherine’s great. She’s been incredibly helpful to the team.”

“Danny, sometimes you seem...” Chin’s words ran out. Did he even know what was going on here?

“I seem what?” Danny smiled at him. The same smile Chin has seen him give perps he knows are lying.

“You come across as jealous, like no one else is supposed to be with him but you.”

Danny shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about. He’s my partner. That’s all.”

“I know he’s your partner. Same as Kono’s mine. But we’re also a team. And we need to make sure we’re looking out for the team too. Right?”

“Yeah. Of course. You and Kono are like family to me. You know that. C’mon, let’s eat.”

Danny tried very hard not to look at Steve or Catherine for the rest of the night: Steve’s warnings from earlier echoing in his head.

5050505050

As they pulled into Steve’s driveway, Steve went to kill the engine but Danny but a hand on his arm.

“Leave it running. I’m gonna head home.”

“Why?”

“Because you had a point earlier and I think that us having some distance might be a good thing.”

“We will get distance. Your week with Grace starts day after tomorrow?”

The tone in Steve’s voice made his heart ache. “I know. But Chin said something to me tonight that makes me think I am getting too obvious about my feelings here. And that it gets worse when Catherine is around.”

“You said something about Catherine?”

“No, but when she came in and I saw you talking, I guess I looked jealous and Chin called me on it.”

“You’ve been jealous of me before.” Steve asked, wondering why Chin cared all of a sudden.

“And I’m saying that maybe we either need to put ourselves on ice for a while or we should have an honest conversation with the rest of our ohana. And I’m thinking that’s not a decision we should come to right now. So let’s take the night to think about things and talk tomorrow.

“OK. If that’s what you think is best.”

“I do.”

“Alright. Good night Danno.” Steve leaned over and kissed him. Danny kissed back, but pulled away quickly. Steve tried not to be hurt by that.

Once inside, Steve called Chin.

“Hey man, I was wondering if I could borrow your uncle’s boat tomorrow.”

“Pretty sure you can. Uncle’s gotta soft spot for you. You gonna fish or take a pleasure cruise?”

“Thought I’d take Danny fishing. I don’t get the impression he’s ever been. Not ocean fishing anyway.”

He heard the change in Chin’s tone immediately. “You don’t think all your arguing will scare the fish away.”

“Nah, Danno can be quite agreeable sometimes.”

“If you say so.” Chin’s voice still strained.

“Chin, you know I love you and Kono right? You’re family and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

Silence met his words and he waited for a bit. “Chin?”

“Steve, if Delano had made you choose between me, Kono, or Danny who would you have picked?”

“Don’t do that, man.”

“It’s the nightmare scenario right? Well, it’s a nightmare I lived. And you don’t have to answer because I know who you’d pick. So does Kono. I know you care about us. But there **are** things you wouldn’t do for us so let’s not pretend. I guess I thought that at least, you held Five-0 above all that. A’ohe hana nui ka alu’ia.”

 _No task is too big when done together._ Steve thought, remembering that had been Chin’s suggestion for the name of Five-0. It had become their unofficial motto.

“I hear you, pal. I do.”

“Mahalo. I’ll meet you guys at the South Shore marina in the morning. 0800 OK?

“Sounds good. Mahalo.”


	19. S3: E3 Lana I Ka Moana (Afloat in the Open Sea)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This episode is so full of McDanno, it almost seems gratuitous to add more...but I did anyway. 
> 
> Following a day where Danny was in a state of panic most of the time, Steve offers himself as a way for his partner to feel in control again.

**Meet at my place at 2100.**

**Thought you were heading home with C**

**I’m dropping her off. I’ll be home by then.**  
****

**You sure?**

**Yes** ****

“Who are you texting?” Catherine asked as she climbed into the truck. Most of the gang was still out by the shrimp truck.

“Danny. Just had to remind him of something for work.” Steve turned off his phone and dropped it in the center tray.

“About the case?”

“No, just Five-0 stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Why are you asking?”

“Just curious. Why? Is it classified or something?”

“No, just...you know I have to give my team directions sometimes and...I don’t know...seems wrong to talk about that with other people.”

“Wow. You really are the big boss now huh?”

“They are my team, Catherine.”

“Ok.” She shrugged. “I was just talking. Don’t need to get defensive.”

“I’m not...” he caught himself, “Sorry. Just haven’t lead a team of civilians before. It takes more nuance than you’d expect.”

“No problem.” She smiled at him.

5050505050

Danny’d arrived at 2100, but the Silverado wasn’t back yet. He thought about leaving. Thought about waiting in the car. Decided to use his key and wait inside. It was presumptuous and he felt awkward about it, but truth was, he didn’t want to sit in his car and was afraid that if he left, Steve would pull up seconds later and it would be a week before they’d have a chance for real alone time again.

Steve came home at 2120 and found Danny sitting on the couch. “Sorry, babe.” He sat down next to him.

“What kept you?” Danny wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but asked anyway.

“Stopped to get some stuff from Walgreens. Took longer than I thought.”

“What did you need to get? You didn’t come in with anything?”

“You wanna tie me to a chair, aim a spot light in my eyes?” Steve asked with light sarcasm.

“Maybe.”

“Mostly first-aid stuff for the kit in my car. Was running low on butterfly strips and gauze pads. Also got this.” He pulled bottle of lube out of the thigh pocket on his cargo pants and tossed it at Danny who caught it.

“What makes you think I’m gonna need this?”

Steve reached out and took Danny’s hand. When he did, Danny felt a thick piece of metal press against his palm. Steve pulled his hand away, leaving his challenge coin behind.

Danny looked at it, surprise on his face. “OK, wasn’t expecting that.”

“It’s been a pretty insane day and I’m aware that you spent a lot of it having one panic attack after another. Things were very out of control. I thought this might be a way to bring some control back.”

He could feel his emotions well up and his eyes turning red. “That was...You never cease to amaze me, babe.”

Steve ran a hand up Danny’s leg as he slid off the couch and knelt in front of him. “I wasn’t going to let anything happen to you today.”

Danny kissed him, then said, “Go upstairs. I’ll be up in a minute.”

“How should I...Is there anything you want me to do?”

Danny looked at him, thinking for a moment. “Hmm, put the chair in the center of the room. Clothes off, sit, and wait for me. That should be enough for now.”

Danny headed to the garage. He needed to get some proper supplies if this was going to be a regular thing, but for now, he decided to see what he could find. He ended up with rope and some clothes pins, which was probably good enough since they were just starting out.

Before he headed upstairs, he grabbed a couple water bottles. As he entered the room, Steve was seated backwards on the chair, resting his head on folded arms across the top of the chair back.

“Interesting choice babe.” He said as he set his items on the bed before heading into the bathroom. Steve had left the new bottle of lube on the nightstand, but Danny was searching for something else. When he found it, he slid it into his pocket because he wasn’t ready for his partner to know about it yet.

He walked over and stood in front of Steve, lifting his chin. “What made you chose this position?”

“I don’t know.”

“It’s defensive.”

Danny walked around him, running a hand across his shoulders and down his back. “The strongest part of you is exposed while your more sensitive areas are protected against the chair.” Danny leaned over his back, running one hand down Steve’s chest, pausing to pinch a nipple, which elicited a gasp. Then he dragged a single-finger across the top of Steve’s hard-on.

“So, why are you feeling defensive?”

“I didn’t...It just seemed comfortable.”

“Turn around.” Danny went to the bed and grabbed the paracord he’d found in the garage while Steve repositioned himself.

“Your answers are not sufficient. While I get you restrained, I want you to think hard about why you’re feeling defensive and be ready to tell me the truth. I will know if you’re not.”

He started behind the chair, securing Steve’s wrists to the sides of the seat, so his arms were down but slightly bent, which would be more comfortable for him over time. He grabbed Steve’s knife off the bureau and cut the excess length so he could move on to his ankles, which he tied to the outside of the front chair legs. He decided to not tie his knees this time.

Feeling satisfied, he straddled the chair, sitting on Steve’s lap, facing him. Steve was disappointed that Danny hadn’t gotten undressed yet. He wanted to feel their cocks rub against each other.

Danny kissed him for a while and then asked, “What do you have to tell me.”

“I’m nervous.” Steve admitted, but his bearing was strong. “The last time, it hurt for a while after, but that wasn’t the hardest part.” Danny nodded, running his fingers across Steve’s temple and to the back of his scalp. Steves shivered with the endorphin rush.

“What was the hardest part?” Danny asked, though he already knew the answer.

“When you...” He didn’t even want to say it and closed his eyes.

“Look at me, babe.” Steve opened his eyes. “There is a difference between wanting me to get rough with you during sex and truly submitting. Are you sure the latter is what you actually want?”

“Which do you want?” Steve wasn’t sure.

“What I like about being a Dom is pushing a sub into and through those spaces that they most struggle to surrender. When I used to watch Brian, the scenes that turned me on the most were the ones where I could see him struggle to let go and then finally get there. And they were not the most aggressive or hard scenes either. For some subs, a certain physical act might be their struggle, and those were also very hot. Depended on the sub. There’s not much I can do to you that you can’t endure pain-wise. So it makes sense that you like sex to be more rough. I’m the same way honestly. But that’s just preference. Not submission.”

Steve sat with that for a minute. He hadn’t liked having Danny feed him and when he thought about it, it stirred a deep embarrassment still. But he also had felt a more powerful connection to Danny than he’d ever experienced before and that part he wanted again.

He leaned into the hand Danny still had at the side of his head. “I didn’t like how we got there, but I did like the feeling of closeness I felt after. And I really like it when you get firm with me, even when it frustrates me. But I had not expected you to demand that kind of thing and so I’m nervous about what you may ask of me. Not enough to stop doing this though. Still, that fear is there so, I guess that is why I sat down the way I did.”

“You can always say no, babe. Don’t ever forget that. I will push you to make certain you’re not simply resisting because you’re afraid of letting go, but I promise you that I will never do anything to you that you have set a hard stop for. How about this: tonight we will stick to some bondage and rough sex and then when we have more time, we can work through what things you’re good with, things you’re willing to endure, and things you absolutely don’t want.”

“Yeah. OK.” Steve nodded.

Danny sat back a little and started tugging on Steve’s nipples, pinching and rubbing. Steve closed his eyes and leaned his head back. “Fuck, Danny. That’s...I like that.”

He licked them then let them sit cold to the air as he got up. Steve whined so he slapped each nipple with a quick, hard blow. When Steve saw him pick up two clothes pins, his breathing increased but he said nothing. They didn’t pinch as much as he was expecting, which was a little disappointing, until Danny grabbed hold of them, right at the clasp, and pulled and shook them. When he let go, they throbbed straight to Steve’s cock and he rocked his hips. Danny smiled at that and did it again. Steve’s response was such a massive turn-on. He unbuttoned his shirt, but didn’t take it off.

“You have no idea how hard it was to look at you just like that all day today and keep my hands to myself.” Steve said lustily.

“Why did you?” Danny challenged as he stepped out of his pants, leaving his boxer-briefs on.

“Was a little busy keeping us alive.”

“Need to learn to multi-task, babe.”

Danny walked to the right side of the chair and pulled himself out, holding it close to Steve’s chin. Leaning down, Steve licked at him, tongue broad across the head. He felt Danny’s hand at the back of his head push him all the way down, which caused his arm to pull against the bounds at his left wrist. It also meant the end of the clothespin on his right nipple hit Danny’s leg, making it throb again.

Danny fucked his mouth for a little while and then pulled him off. Using his cock, Danny hit the right clothespin hard, causing it to fly off. Steve cried out, not realizing that his nipple had gone a bit numb. By flicking it off, the deadened nerves fired at once, like a bunch of needles stabbed him.

Walking to the other side, Danny waited. “Just do it already.” Steve demanded, hating the anticipation.

“Oooh, not good, babe.” Danny said. He reached down and picked up the clothespin, clamping the right nipple again. Then he knelt in front of Steve and pulled the tube of Icy Hot from the pocket of his pants that were crumpled on the floor.

Steve’s eyes went wide. “Danny, I’m sorry...please...” his voice timbered and he shook his head.

“Look at me. You can do this. I know you can.”

“It’s gonna sting.”

“Yeah. It will.”

“Where are you gonna...”

“You either trust me or you don’t, Steve.”

“I do. OK. It’s OK.” Danny could see him clearly bracing himself.

“Why did I bring this out Steve?”

“Because I got impatient.”

“And?”

“And I told you what to do.”

Danny nodded. He flicked open the tube, putting a small amount on his fingers. He drew the cream from the base of Steve’s cock down to the back of his balls, and started to blend it firmly into the skin with his thumbs.

Steve groaned. It didn’t sting as bad as he thought it would and the massage felt good. But when Danny stopped, the fire on his skin started to build. It didn’t hurt, but was very uncomfortable. Then Danny rubbed him again and the burn lessened a little until he took his hand away and the burning started again. He quickly realized that it was worse when Danny wasn’t touching him.

Cool lube drizzled at the top if his leaking cock and Danny began to stroke him. Since there was some residual Icy Hot on his hands, it mixed with the lube making his cock warm. It wasn’t as intense the fire on his scrotum, but he could still feel it.

He was surprised when Danny started to sink onto him because he knew that this was going to spice up Danny’s insides, but the look in his face told him Danny knew exactly what he was doing. That flooded Steve with a rush of arousal.

Once he was all the way in, Danny sat still, looking at him. With a quick flick, he knocked off both clothes pins and immediately started rubbing the thick nipples, making Steve cry out and moan. He continued to abuse them as he leaned in and sucked hard at his neck. Steve desperately wanted Danny to move his hips and give him friction where he craved it most, but he stayed still.

His body was a contradiction in sensations, between the burning at his balls, the tickling suction at his neck, the arousing tugs at his chest, and the tight heat around his cock. Every time he tried to focus on one area, another would force itself into his consciousness. He felt dissected.

Placing hands on Steve’s shoulders, Danny started to ride him. “Oh, fuck, babe, you feel so good. You’re doing so well.” Steve flushed with pride at Danny’s words, savoring being used like this.

“Danny..l’m gonna...”

“Hold off as long as you can.”

Steve bore down, trying to hold back, but his whole body was alight. Then he looked at the thick bubble of fluid at tip of Danny’s cock and couldn’t stop it. Danny knew instantly and slowed his pace while flexing his muscles against Steve, milking him.

  
“Fuuuccckkk” Steve moaned. Danny stilled, staying on him, but started to stroke himself. The movements caused him to pant. “Too much...too much,” he repeated. Danny stayed where he was, ignoring his pleas until he’d come, white globs hitting his chest.

Danny stood up and untied the ropes. “Shower time, babe.”

This part Steve had no problem letting Danny do for him. He loved leaning against the shower wall while Danny ran the soapy washcloth over him. When they were done, Danny returned the coin to the dish on the bathroom counter where Steve kept his wallet, keys, and other stuff that normally filled his pockets.

Once in bed, Steve gathered his partner in his arms. “You never stop amazing me too, babe.”

Danny laid his head down, listening to Steve’s heartbeat. “It’s only going to get harder for me to pretend that you’re not mine.”

“I know. But you saw how Chin reacted when we argued at the pier today.”

“Yeah. I saw Catherine and couldn’t help myself. I hated that you sat with her at dinner, but I was glad too. This is making me punchy. I was a bit too harsh with Max today.”

“I noticed.”

“What’re we gonna do?”

“We can’t tell the team, babe. There’s just too much on the line. Chin’s still in a bad place and we need to help him first.”

“We do.” Danny agreed.

“I’ll keep you in line.” Steve said.

“Oh, you will?”

“You don’t think I can.”

“You had much luck so far?” Danny joked.

Steve shrugged, “On the other hand, I really love swatting that ass of yours, so I don’t mind looking for excuses.”

“I told you. You’re a topper.”

“I didn’t deny it did I?”

“God, I love you.” Danny snuggled him.


	20. S3: E4 Popikikia(Distressing)/E5 Mohai (Sacrifice)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two people other than Danny who know Steve best each back him into a corner as he begins to process his sexual identity and what it means for himself and those he loves.

After work, Steve had decided to go for a run. He was about a mile in when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He slowed to a jog and pulled it out.

“What’s up Danny? I thought you were picking up Grace.”

“Yeah, I did. And then Gabby called and said her boss’s appendix ruptured and he was supposed to deliver this big lecture for a special event at the Kauai Museum tomorrow night and he asked her to fill-in. I guess they are putting her up in some very nice accommodations and that she thought Grace and I would like to come along.”

“Sounds fun. When will you be back?”

“Sunday night. Are you OK?”

“Yes Daniel, I’m fine.”

“Right, because you calling me Daniel usually means sunshine and rainbows.”

“I’m good, I promise. We’ve talked about this. I want you to keep dating Gabby.”

“OK, babe. I’ll call you when we get back.”

“I’ll answer. Have a great time.” Steve ended the call. He looked out at the ocean for a beat and dialed Catherine’s number.

5050505050

“You stay here, Monkey, and lock the door behind me OK? I need to go down to the laundry. Alright?”

“Yes, Danno.” She was watching some show about kids who could move dirt, air, water, and fire by waving their hands around. He didn’t follow, but she was obsessed with it.

“Then take your eyes off the boob-tube for a minute and come here and lock the door.”

“Why did you call it the boob-tube?”

“Because that’s what my Pop called it, I guess. I’ll be back in 10 minutes.” He left and waited until he heard the deadbolt lock and walked along the balcony to the exterior stairwell that led to the small outbuilding that was the resident’s laundry room.

As he sorted the clothes into two machines, he called Steve.

“Yo partner! How was Kauai?” Steve sounded overly casual.

“It was very nice actually. Why do you sound funny?”

Ignoring the question, he asked, “Gracie have a good time?”

Danny stopped sorting and grew serious. “Steve, are you OK? Is there someone there? Do you need help?”

“Nah, we’re doing great. Catherine’s making dinner.” Danny finally understood.

“Then I’ll let you get back to that. Just wanted you to know we made it back OK.”

“I’m glad.” Steve said, his voice normal and sincere.

“Call me later if you want.”

“I will. Bye.”

Danny finished up, starting both machines and setting an alarm on his phone for when the cycle would be over before heading back up to his apartment.

Later, after settling Grace into bed, he laid awake wondering if Steve was gonna call. He didn’t blame him for being with Catherine. After all, he’s spent the weekend with Gabby and had a very good time. She was amazing and so great with Grace. It would be a full lie to say he didn’t enjoy kissing her and feeling her soft body against his as they slept. He couldn’t imagine that Steve didn’t feel similarly when around Catherine. After all, he was involved with Catherine before Danny had ever come to Hawai’i.

Eventually he gave up the idea that Steve was going to call tonight and focused on sleep.

5050505050

**Meet me at the Palace. We have a case.**

**You want me to pick you up?**

**Best if you don’t.**

**Why?**

**Doris**

**Got it. Meet you there in 20.**

They had a long drive out to the polo ranch.

“Your mom was in your house this morning?”

“Yeah. I woke up when I heard someone downstairs.”

“So you hadn’t set your alarm?”

“Yes, Danny, I had set the alarm. She must’ve figured out how to disarm it.”

“Is that because the code is still your birthday?”

“No, wise guy, it’s not. I changed it.”

“To what?”

“To your birthday.”

Danny looked at him, mouth open slightly.

“What?” Steve looked quickly between Danny and the road.

“I don’t even...My birthday is the day before yours, numbskull.”

“I know when your birthday is, Danny.”

“And you don’t think Spy-Mommy knows too, especially since it’s practically the same day?”

“Fine, whatever. She figured it out and we found her in the kitchen making breakfast.”

“We who?”

“What?”

“You said ‘we found her’. Who was with you?”

“Uh, Catherine.” Steve answered, not looking at him.

“She spent the night?”

“Yeah. We’d watched a movie and it was late, so...” silence fell and it made Steve feel defensive. “You were with Gabby all weekend! Why are you looking like that?”

“I’m not looking like anything! I’m processing. That’s all. Though it was a little different for me because I was in a hotel room with both Gabby and my daughter, so it’s not like there was a lot of action going on.”

“But there was action?” Steve asked, both hoping there was so he could feel less guilty, and also hoping there wasn’t because he hated the idea of Danny sleeping with anyone but him. Which he knew was fucked up because he’d had sex with Catherine quite a bit this past weekend.

“Sort of. In the shower a couple times.”

“How was it?” Steve asked, apparently a glutton for punishment.

“Why on earth do you want details?”

“I don’t know! Asked out of habit, I guess.”

“Habit? You have a habit of talking to me about my sex life?”

“I have the habit of caring very much about your sex life.”

Danny shook his head, not believing this conversation. “I don’t want to do this now. OK? Can we just focus on your mom and what is going on there?”

“Yeah. She, uh, she wants to stay with me for a while.” Steve looked over and saw Danny put his hand to his forehead like he does when he has a headache.

“How long is a while?” Danny asked with a slight groan.

“I don’t know. Until she finds a place, I guess? I’m trying to get her to leave Oahu and go underground again for her safety. But I think she...She might be trying to reconnect. I think.”

“She came back to be with you?” Danny asked softly.

“I think so, yeah.”

“Where are you with that?” Danny felt Steve needed, and wanted, time with Doris. He also knew how hard it hit him when he learned she’d not actually tried to kill Wo Fat when she had the chance. The weight of her secrets had the power to crush Steve and that worried Danny most.

“I want her safe.” Steve said as they arrived at the farm and got out, hoping they could table this discussion for a while.

5050505050

Chin was conflicted about the assignment Steve gave him this morning as he drove to Liliha Bakery for coco puffs that he hoped would make Doris feel less like she was being put into protective custody and more like he was a friend. He still felt as though he was being side-lined from their current investigation though, and that wasn’t sitting well with him.

He knew he had good days and bad days. Either Steve or Danny called him every night and Kono was with him for dinner any night they didn’t eat as a team. She’d come over a few nights after Malia died and wanted to make him dinner but he wouldn’t let her. He just couldn’t stand using the kitchen at all. He ordered take-out for every meal, which wasn’t healthy, but that’s just where he was right now. Some evenings Kono brought food with her. They’d talk about their cases or play cribbage. He knew she was struggling as Adam went through his legal troubles, so they were leaning on each other. He was so grateful for her, thankful she was alive, and shoved down the guilt that always circled him like a shark in dark waters.

As Doris poured his coffee, she sat down and studied him.

“I’m sorry about your wife.”

He looked at her. She had the same sincere, caring manner that all the McGarrett’s seem to have in moments like this. “Thank-you.”

“Are you and Kono real cousins?”

“Yeah. Her mom and my dad are siblings.”

“That’s nice. Working with family can be hard though. What’s that like?”

“I love it, actually. She’s fierce and quick-witted. And young. Something I feel in my knees more than I’d like to admit when she out runs me.” He smiled wide like he always did when bragging about Kono. He was crazy-proud of her because she was the kid-sister he’d always wanted.

“I like her. Still, doing this kind of work...I don’t know. I’ve found that sometimes the best way to protect the ones you love is to make sure no one knows that you love them.”

Chin looked down into his cup, conflicted. “Even if that means the ones you love don’t know it either?”

She nodded slowly. “I thought that maybe out of all of my son’s friends, you might be the one to understand me. That honey-badger of a partner sure doesn’t.”

Chin chuckled at that fairly accurate way to describe Danny. “They are rather protective of one another.”

“That doesn’t worry you?”

“I try not to think about it one way or another.” He answered automatically, not thinking about how that sounded.

“Really? Why is that.” Doris asked, very interested.

 _Shit._ Chin cursed inwardly, trying to think of a way to talk about this diplomatically and without betraying too much.

“Together, Steve and Danny are more Jersey than Aloha. It works for them. But it’s not always the most pleasant thing to be around.” He tried to seem nonchalant about his answer.

“Oooh, you are good. Did you ever serve time as a PR Officer? You’ve got the whole non-answer Answer thing down pat. Now tell me what you really mean.”

Chin tilted his head at her, “About what?”

She leveled a hard look at him. “What do you think about my son either having or wanting to have a romantic relationship with his partner?”

 _Yeah, this conversation is going great._ He kept his face passive and answered, “I think that is none of my business.”

“You don’t?” She kept her eyes locked with his.

“No.”

“Hmm. OK.” Her whole demeanor changed, which made Chin even more suspicious. “How about you give me a lift down to see this Five-0 Headquarters of yours. I’d love to see where you all work.”

“I’m not...”

“Unless you’re gonna cuff me, I’m heading to Iolani Palace. I can call cab but then how will you be able to report to my son that you protected me today?”

Chin knew when he was beat. “My car’s out front.”

5050505050

“Alright, I’m gonna call Danny to meet me at the polo farm. You get started on getting whatever intel you can on Thorpe and where he might have gone.” Steve said as he and Chin stood at the command table.

“Steve?”

“What?” He was itching to get out to the scene of the bombing.

“Why are you sidelining me?” Chin asked with an edge in his voice.

“I’m not. I just gave you an assignment.”

“You called me to babysit your mom instead of bringing me in on this case. Why?”

“It’s nothing to do with the case Chin. I know asking you to go over there was a favor but you know what Wo Fat is capable of, so I asked you.”

“But not Danny. Because Danny needed to be with you.”

Steve stood still and expressionless. “You got a problem with how I run this team?”

“I got a problem if your decisions are based on the personal and not the professional.”

They stared at one another for a long minute before Chin decided he had to just take the dive.

“Are you messing around with Danny?”

Steve shook his head, “I don’t...”

Chin pounded his fist on the table. “Don’t you dare push me off. I asked you a direct question and I deserve an honest answer. Are you?”

Steve swallowed hard. “I care about Danny a great deal. He is my partner and he is special to me. But that is all the answer you are entitled to and the only one you’re going to get.”

Chin looked down, head shaking in frustration. Steve continued, “Chin, in any branch of service, any police department, or state government, you would not be allowed to partner with Kono. But I don’t follow those rules because being cousins with Kono is a strength to the team, not a distraction. I have always sent any of you where you will do the most good and where your skills are most effective, while also honoring our partner system.

“I apologize for asking you to stay with Doris. That was a personal use of Five-0 resources and that was out of line. I thank-you for doing it. I won’t ask you to do that again.”

Chin nodded. “Last spring, when Peterson took Grace. I watched you at the storage locker. I saw your face when he went to Rachel and Grace. I know your feelings for him are more than as your partner. So does Kono. So does your mom. That means you’re either drowning in the biggest river in Egypt or you are keeping a giant secret from us. That’s not teamwork and it’s not Ohana.”

“Message received.” Steve walked out.

5050505050

“You gotta stop giving me the goofy-face at work, pal.” Steve said as he and Danny headed downstairs to interrogate Thorpe.

“You drop your pants in front of me, what else am I supposed to look like?”

“You’re supposed to look like it’s no big deal, not like you want to bite my ass.”

“I did want to bite your ass.” Danny joked.

“Fuck, stop walking. That’s the problem. Everyone is seeing this. Chin asked me straight out if you and I are messing around and he told me he knows that my feelings for you are more than as my partner.”

“Can we not talk about this right now? We have to go in there and rough up a guy. I can’t...fuck.” Danny turned and walked off.

Steve took some breaths to pull himself back and followed.

5050505050

Danny felt hurt radiate off Steve after his admission that he believes Doris is still lying to him.

“So what are you gonna do now.”

“Nothing, I guess.”

“Nothing? You’re a life-size action-figure, babe. Doing nothing is not what you do.”

“Funny. Maybe, I don’t know, maybe she doesn’t trust me yet.”

“She’s a spy, Steve. I don’t imagine she trusts anyone.”

Steve wondered if he looked as lost as he felt. “I’m her son. Shouldn’t I be the one person she trusts?”

Danny placed a hand on Steve’s forearm. “Kids should be able to trust their mom and dad. Being the safest place to turn is the job of the parent, not the job of the child.”

Steve glanced over to where the rest of Five-0, Doris and Catherine sat, then turned his body away because he felt his eyes burn.

“But I do think that you and your mom need some space to reconnect. Maybe that means putting Wo Fat on the back burner for a while and stop trying to out-maneuver her out of fear. Focus on getting to know her as a son and not as a Navy SEAL or task-force Commander. Just be her kid.”

He wiped his eyes and nodded. “Yeah, OK. Thanks, Danno.”

“Anytime, babe. Look, I’m gonna take my food to go. I’ll check in with you tomorrow.”

“You’re going home? Why?”

“We need to be apart for a while. Not at-work apart, but relationship apart.”

Steve’s brow furrowed. “Is this because of what I said earlier?”

“Yeah. I need to think through some stuff and your mom staying with you seems like as good a time as any to do that. And if what you’re saying is true and I can’t hide my feelings, especially when Catherine is around, then maybe I need to not be around until I figure that out.”

“OK. I don’t like this, but OK.”

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow.” Steve nodded and watched Danny take his order from the window and leave.

5050505050

Over the next few days, Danny kept his distance, but Catherine didn’t. It was as if when Danny stepped away, there was this vacuum created that somehow sucked Catherine in. And he found himself remembering why he liked her and enjoying the feel of her mouth and body. She was soft and gentle in all the ways Danny was hard and rough. And he really, really liked both.

He had never put much thought into what being bisexual meant. He learned through his service that he was happy to have sex with men if the opportunity afforded itself but relationships were not something he’d invested in; until Catherine and Danny. And neither one had ever been exclusive really. Catherine was someone he loved being with and was strongly attracted to, so they made time for one another when they could but never made it more complicated than that. Now that she was back at Pearl and thinking about going Reserves, they had time they never had before. Unfortunately, that time coincided with his developing feelings for Danny and now everything was happening at once and he was struggling. It felt wrong, and also felt like he was experiencing a real relationship with both a man and a woman for the first time and didn’t he have the right to experience that? How could he decide which life he wanted when right now he wanted both?

And there was no one he could talk to. How could he talk about this with either Catherine or Danny? Chin may have been who he would have tried to confide in, but there was tension there too. He definitely wasn’t going to talk to Doris about it. He loved two people, yet felt more alone than ever.

Steve was driving home alone since he and Danny weren’t carpooling right now, when his phone rang. It was Danny and he felt a shiver of excitement.

“Hey Danno, what’s up?”

“I’m taking Grace trick or treating tomorrow night. You want to come along?”

Steve was glad Danny couldn’t see his face because he was pretty sure he’d be accused of having an aneurysm. “I can’t. Catherine is coming over to watch the Chucky movie.”

“The Chucky movie?”

“Yeah. It’s the scary movie about the crazy doll. It’s Halloween and so we’re watching a scary movie.”

“The whole reason to watch a scary movie on Halloween is so when he scary part comes on, you jump into each other’s arms.”

“No it’s not. Halloween is the day we celebrate the scary. That’s why you watch a scary movie on Halloween.”

“Then you’re doing it wrong, my friend. But these are the moments I’m pretty sure you were actually brought up by garden gnomes and that is why you missed out on these critical experiences of life. So you have fun with your completely platonic scary movie and I will talk to you later.”

“Have a good evening, Daniel.”

5050505050

Steve grumbled a little as he headed to the kitchen, feeling 70% certain Danny showed up here tonight because he knew Catherine would be here. The 30% was because Danny’d never intentionally interrupted his time with Catherine before. In fact, most of the time, he encouraged it...sort of.

When he came back in though, he stopped short, panic settling in. Danny and Catherine were chatting. Like friends-chatting. With Catherine sincerely offering him advice from the perspective of a young girl and Danny actually paying attention. Suddenly visions of them becoming friends, meeting up for coffee....talking about him...no, that was not something he was going to let happen. Thankfully his phone rang and the Caller ID was from dispatch. They had a case. The God or gods were favoring him right now.

5050505050

It had been almost 2230 when they left for the crime scene and so Catherine had decided to crash at Steve’s and head home in the morning. Being honest with herself, she hoped Steve would come home during the night, but when dawn broke and he still wasn’t back, she wasn’t totally surprised. She decided to take a swim before she headed home and then to pick up Grace like she’d promised Danny. Being right on the shore was a huge advantage of Steve’s place and it seemed a shame to waste the opportunity. After her shower, she figured she’d borrow a clean shirt and a pair of shorts with a drawstring that she could tighten enough they wouldn’t fall down. Just something she could wear home.

She opened a couple drawers until she found one that had shorts that might work. She pulled them out and looked at them. They seemed too small for Steve. Curious, she looked in the drawer again and realized everything in it was smaller than what Steve would wear. But they were still clearly men’s clothes. She wasn’t sure what made her go look in Steve’s nightstand or what she expected to find exactly but seeing the black bottle lying there was pretty damning. She’d been on enough ships to know the significance of a sailor who had silicone-based lube and one who carried water-based. But even that didn’t startle her as much as the size of the bottle. There wasn’t much reason for most men to have a 20 oz bottle of silicone lube unless they were needing it...a lot.

When she and Steve were on ship together, there were never any rumors about him having...dalliances?... with anyone other than her. She had heard things though...when they weren’t stationed together. It didn’t bother her. On any given ship there were plenty of 18-21 year olds and kids that age like to fuck. A lot of the time, they didn’t care much about love or romance, they just wanted a snug, warm place to stick their dicks and as long as they weren’t trying to stick them in her, she didn’t care. Even with Steve, she had never set an expectation about what he did or who he was with when he wasn’t with her. Nor had he with her. She’d had her own affairs at sea, including a couple mission-only boyfriends. That was what a life without attachments was like. So she wasn’t upset exactly.

More profoundly curious. She had suspicions, but wanted more data first. She looked at her watch. She still had two hours before she needed to pick up Grace, so she put on the shorts and t-shirt she found in the one drawer (which were still big on her) and headed for home.

5050505050

After The Notebook ended and Grace and Danny left, Steve closed the door and leaned back against it. “Sorry about that.”

“Why are you sorry? It was a nice evening.”

“You hated Chucky that much?”

She laughed. “No. Come here.” She patted the couch next to her for him to sit down. He did but leaned in like was going to kiss her and she put her hand up.

“I just want to talk for a bit.”

Steve leaned back warily. “Okay.”

Catherine leaned down, reaching into her bag at the end of the couch and pulled out two pieces of neatly folded clothing and held them out. “I washed them.” She said, placing them in his lap.

“Those aren’t mine.” Steve said, not moving.

“I know they’re not. They’re Danny’s. You two were out on your case for almost two days straight trying to track down your goat-killer-kidnapper guy. I slept over on Halloween because you’d left so late. Next morning I found those in one of your drawers. I’d planned on borrowing shorts and a shirt from you. Turns out Danny’s clothes fit me slightly better, so it was a good find actually.”

“Catherine, I...”

“Steve, it’s ok. I’m not upset. I’m actually kind of surprised by how not upset I am.”

“He keeps stuff here sometimes because our cases can go late and...” She put her fingers on his lips.

“I really don’t need or want you to make rational excuses. I also saw the bottle of Platinum in your nightstand. And so tonight, I moved to the end of the couch and brought Grace next to me specifically to see what you would do. It was the final clue to the puzzle.”

What more could he say? “OK.” He set the clothes on the coffee table. “I’m not sure what to say right now.”

“Can we talk about it?” She asked sincerely.

“I guess so. What exactly?”

“When did it start?”

“A little over a year ago.”

“Is this like at sea? Where it’s just something to do? Way to scratch an itch?”

“No. It’s more than that.”

“How much more?”

“More-more. But it’s also not exactly allowed, so we can’t just be open about it.”

“So...I’m a way to keep it secret?”

“No, Cath, you’re not. I really do care about you and I enjoy it when we’re together.”

“Do you love him?”

“That’s a complicated question.”

“Actually, it’s not, but let me ask it a different way; have you told him you love him?”

“Yes.” He felt the conviction in the question. That was not something he’d ever told her. “But it is really complicated. I’ve never been in one place long enough for a serious relationship before. You and I certainly haven’t either. But now, I have had the time and space to develop one here, and it’s with someone I can’t be open about. Things with you have always been easy, fun, and you’re beautiful and sexy and I like that too.”

“He clearly knows that you feel that way about me and that you and I have...while you’re with him. But you didn’t feel the need to extend me the same courtesy. If I’m upset about anything, it’s that. I’m used to you using me for information. But using me to cover up your affair with your subordinate...that hurts.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. You deserve better than that from me.”

She nodded. “He does too.” She grabbed her bag and stood up. “I’m gonna head out.”

Steve stood up as well and took her hands, “Catherine, I...can I call you tomorrow?”

“Yeah. I’ll still take your calls.” She smiled. “I genuinely wasn’t under the impression we had become exclusive, so you didn’t betray any trust here. But I would have preferred it if you were honest with me about what was happening, that’s all.”

He pulled her into a hug. “I really am sorry, Cath.”

“I’m sure you’ll find a way to make it up to me.” She hugged back and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is meant to exist as realistically within canon as possible. Which means Catherine’s arc in the story is real and she is not the villain.
> 
> The reality is, all female characters were done dirty on this show, Catherine included. H50 was not alone in this (SPN is another show famous for it), because they want their male heroes to always be the white-knights of the story. So they have to ensure the lens the audience looks through is always going to hold the star’s actions as good and those who hurt them as bad. 
> 
> I chose to use my own lens, which is one where I try to look at the whole character, not just the choice they make or specific act they do. As a whole person, when not looked only through the lens of her relationship with Steve, Catherine is actually a pretty amazing woman. And while yes, she left Steve several times, she also left him *with* Danny. And the fact that she kept turning up had way more to do with misogynistic/homophobic show-runners and writers than anything else. As the audience, we can choose to talk back to that.
> 
> All that is to say, please don’t dump a bunch of Catherine hate here. I don’t hate her (even when I have used her as an antagonist in a story) and I think that vitriol perpetuates a kind of poison within us, as human beings, that isn’t healthy. Cath wasn’t perfect. But neither were Steve and Danny.


	21. S3: E8 Wahine’inoloa (Evil Woman)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Steve goes toe-to-toe against a woman he’s accusing of murder, Danny can see what she’s doing, even though Steve can’t.

_The Night of the Father-Daughter Dance_

They walked up the path from the parking lot to the apartment, hands swinging back and forth.

“Janie told me her dad was taking her to get ice cream after the dance.” Grace asked hopefully.

“Ice Cream? It’s almost nine-o’clock and even if I didn’t care about you having a mouth full of sugar before you go to sleep, which I do, both of us need our beauty-sleep. Well, OK, only I need beauty-sleep because you...you were born beautiful and if you got more beautiful, stars would probably start falling out of the sky. So how about we find ice cream after school tomorrow instead?”

“OK. Danno, why is Uncle Steve here?”

They had just turned the corner after climbing the stairs to the second floor and Steve was sitting on the ground outside their door. He stood up as they approached.

“Excellent question, Monkey. Why is Uncle Steve here?”

Steve took Grace by the hands and held her arms open. “I heard the prettiest girl on the island was making an appearance here tonight and needed to come see for myself.” He twirled her around and then scooped her under the shoulders, picking her up.

“Uncle Steve! I’m too big to carry!”

He looked at her, scandalized. “Since when?”

“I’m eleven years old! Put me down.” He did but held her hand to walk her inside as Danny opened the apartment door.

“Fine, but this is as big as you’re allowed to get. You keep growing, I’m gonna have to arrest you.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Danno would stop you.” She said, her hands on her hips.

“You’re probably right. Did you have fun?”

“Yeah. Danno’s a good dancer.”

“Is he now?”

“Uh-huh.” She nodded.

Danny patted her shoulder. “Go get in your pajamas and brush you teeth, OK.”

She nodded and headed down the hall. The apartment was still small, but this one had a bedroom, so when Grace stayed with him she slept on the pull-out sofa. He started to pull the cushions off to get it set up.

“Everything OK?” Danny asked as he yanked on the collapsible bed frame, pulling it up from the sofa.

“Yeah.”

“Why are you here?”

Steve was keeping a tight-reign on his emotions and had been since they had diffused the bomb and Danny had been able to walk away. That grip was tenuous at best now that Danny was in front of him again. He couldn’t say much or else he knew he would lose it and he didn’t want to scare Grace.

“Needed to.” His voice choked. The bathroom door opened a Danny went to meet her down the hall.

“Good job, Monkey. Tonight we’re gonna trade places and you sleep in my bed OK? I need to talk to Uncle Steve for a little while.”

She nodded and looked down the hall. “Good-night Uncle Steve!”

“Good-night, Gracie.” His voice cracked.

She looked at Danny. “Is he ok?”

“Yes, he’s fine. He’s just afraid you will grow up entirely while you sleep.”

“That won’t happen.”

“I don’t know...magic is a funny thing.” He said as he steered her into his bedroom.

“Danno, there’s no such thing as magic...”

Ten minute later, he closed the door to his room behind him and came out to the front room. He’d changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt. Steve had the pull-out bed made and was sitting on it, shoes and socks off, gun and badge on the kitchen counter.

“What’s going on with you, babe?” Danny asked softly.

“Will you...I need...Come here please?” Steve finally let his tears roll. Danny climbed onto the bed and let Steve pull him into his arms. He curled against his partner’s chest until the crying stopped and then sat up but stayed close.

“I’m still here.”

“And part of me is still scared.”

“Grace is here.” Danny said, knowing Steve should understand the significance of that.

“I know. My alarm is set for 0400. I won’t be here when she wakes up. And I’m not trying to...I need to be with you right now. Please.” Danny nodded and pulled the blankets so they could both crawl under. Steve pulled Danny close. Danny pet his arm, trying to comfort him.

He thought back on all that he had shared with Steve today and grieved anew for Grace. He’d loved her too. They had never had a physical relationship because Danny had still been in love with Rachel. But partners become close. Intimate. That’s just what happens when you share 8-10 hours of your life with someone every day. Watching her die was the worst moment of his life. Even worse than when Rachel left. If they had been lovers, Danny was sure he would not have survived. As it was, part of him had wanted to die along with her, rather than live without her.

He saw that same feeling in Steve’s face today after he tried to get him to leave. And he knew that if their positions were reversed, he would have stayed too. In this moment, he made a decision. He wasn’t going to care what anyone thought about how they lived. If Steve wanted to be with both him and Catherine, that was fine. Both of them deserved to live their lives to the fullest because at any moment, everything could be taken from them. _Borrowed Time._ It was true for both of them. Fuck everyone else.

5050505050

_Two weeks later._

Danny watched Steve and Dr. Victor as they sparred and knew immediately why his partner was reacting so emotionally to this perp. He let it go on for a while until he could see Steve start to amp up and stepped in to put a halt to things before it got worse. He then wished he hadn’t because as soon as he put his hand on Steve’s back, Steve backed off instantly, and the doc really looked at Danny for the first time. He needed to get Steve out of there as soon as possible.

5050505050

Sitting at his computer trying to dig through the evidence they had gathered from the dead P.I., Danny’s phone buzzed.

“Hey Catherine.”

“Hey, Danny. Uh, Steve was just here. Is he OK? Does this doc really have a restraining order against him?”

“Yes. He ask you to put her on the no-fly?”

“Yeah. And I can do it, but I’m worried. If this is retaliation, it won’t be hard to connect me to him. I told him I’d do it, but he was acting funny and I don’t want to do something that could hurt him more later.”

“Go ahead and do it. There’s enough here that she may be a flight risk, so if heat comes, you can say legitimately that the request came from me. OK?”

“Yeah, OK. You gonna tell me what’s going on here?”

“His head’s a little messed up right now.”

“Messed up how?”

“That’s probably a better question for you to ask him. I, uh, I know you two had a talk but I don’t feel right talking about him too much with you. Doesn’t seem fair to him.”

“I get that. OK.”

“Catherine, thank-you for calling me about this though. I appreciate you looking out for him.”

“Of course. I’ll call TSA about Olivia Victor now.”

“Thanks.”

5050505050

As they left Olivia Victor’s office for the second time that day, Danny grabbed Steve by the shirt sleeve and pulled him into the men’s room by the elevator. Steve watched him with confusion as Danny checked that the stalls were empty before throwing the deadbolt on the door.

“Put your nose to the wall, hands behind your back.” Danny ordered.

“What are you doing?” Steve asked, arms crossed.

“Waiting for you to do what you’re told.”

“Danny, Kono’s at the airport! We’ve got to go.”

“Then you fucking better do what I say.”

Steve glared at him, but went put his face close to the wall and adopted a parade-rest stance. He felt Danny stand directly behind him and place a hand flat against his back.

“Breathe in deep and slow. Then exhale slow. I’ll tell you if you’re going too fast.”

Steve took in a deep breath and let it out, then inhaled again.

“Slower.”

He breathed in again, held it, then let it out. After eight or ten breaths, he felt more calm.

“You’ve been spinning all day Steve, and you’re not gonna be able to deal with his woman clearly until you stop. Keep breathing like this and focus on what I’m saying. She’s triggering the sub in you and she knows it. She’s using that to manipulate you. Part of you wants to give in and let her top you.”

“Danny, no...”

“Shhh, no talking.” Danny stepped right up against his back. “I’m not saying you are consciously wanting it, I’m saying she knows she can hook you emotionally and get you off-focus this way. She also knows that if I’m around, she can’t do it because you will listen to me over her. That’s why we are taking this moment for you to center yourself on me.”

Steve’s eyes were closed, forehead against the wall. Danny’s voice was calm and steady in his ears and having him there, hand on his back, he felt grounded again, tethered to Danny, as he spoke quietly and firmly to him.

“That’s good. Let me know when you’re ready.

“I’m ready.”

“Let’s go arrest a killer.” Danny smiled at him.

5050505050

Danny couldn’t suppress his smile when Olivia tried to fight him as he cuffed her. He shot a glance at Steve, who grinned back because seeing her get manhandled by his Danno felt like whole other kind of justice.

“You want HPD to take her or should we let DHS have a crack at her first?”

“I’ll go radio HPD. I’m sure there’s a blue and white nearby that take her.” Steve headed for the Camaro.

“Officer Kalakaua is going to pat you down. If you have any weapons, needles, or other contraband, I suggest you tell us now.” Danny said has he held her by the elbow and Kono took a hold of the chain between the cuffs.

Kono finished patting her down. He then walked Olivia to the curb. “Step down, then sit.”

“I’m wearing a skirt.”

“A skirt that isn’t yours so I don’t give a shit. Sit down or I will make you sit down.”

He held her by the elbow as she sat and then he and Kono stood on either side of her.

“So you’re who’s at the other end of his leash.” Olivia said with a smirk.

Danny squatted next to her. “You like to watch people, read them...predict what they’re gonna do.”

“I’m good at what I do.” She said arrogantly.

“Look at me.” She locked eyes with him. “What does all your training tell you will happen if you fuck with what’s mine?” Danny stared at her until she looked away.

“I want my lawyer.”

“Glad we understand each other.” He stood back up and gave Kono a quick look. Her face was unreadable to him.

5050505050

Kono ended up taking Olivia to be booked since she would need to go to the Women’s side of the jail until her arraignment. They agreed to meet at Kamekona’s for dinner and Danny drove Steve back to where the Silverado was still sitting outside the restaurant.

As Steve finished with the tire and put the damaged one in the bed of the truck, Danny said, “Follow me back to the Palace for a bit, OK?”

Steve glanced at his watch. They had just over an hour before they were supposed to meet the others. “Why?”

“We have some unfinished business and it will be easier to get through it there.”

It didn’t take a rocket scientist for him to guess what Danny’s “unfinished business” was and his body flushed with anticipation of the unknown.

As they came through the doors, they knew Chin had left because only the night-lights were on. Danny motioned to Steve’s office and his partner led the way. Leaning against the edge of his desk, Steve watched as Danny closed the door, then moved around to each window and closed the blinds. He turned back to Steve, hands on his hips.

“You took several stupid risks today.” Danny said evenly.

“I know.”

“Part of this is my fault. I’ve opened the door to this part of our relationship but we’ve not been able to solidify our experiences. That’s gonna change starting right now. You didn’t call me when you went to meet her and nearly got yourself arrested. There’s more, but we will start with that.”

“What are you going to do?” Steve asked, licking his lips. Danny held out his hand. Steve reached into his pocket and pulled out his challenge coin, dropping it into his partner’s palm.

“Thank-you. You know what comes next, but you’re gonna tell me the method.”

“Belt.”

“Is that because you feel you deserve that for what you’ve done or you want that much?”

“Both.”

“Alright. Turn around, hands on the desk.” He complied. Danny unbuckled Steve’s fly and pulled everything down. “Slide your feet back, hips out.”

He flexed his fingers against the desktop as Danny’s palm stroked gently across his ass and then came a sharp slap. Then several more. Steve grunted as each stung one stung more than the previous one.

“Danny...”

“Hush. You will get what you need, but you interrupt and we’re going to be noticeably late for dinner.”

At first, the swats had moved around a bit, but now they had become focused and repetitive over the same spot which meant each one hurt more and he found himself flinching forward at each one. Then they stopped, he felt Danny’s hands smoothing lightly over his ass, then squeeze firmly and Steve jumped because the flesh was sore. Suddenly, Danny’s hands were gone.

Steve could see him in his peripheral. Danny unclipped his badge and set it on the desk before unbuckling his belt. His right hand held his holster while his left pulled the belt loose with practiced smoothness. Steve closed his eyes as he grew hard from the anticipation. This was something he’d been wanting Danny to do for a while but couldn’t bring himself to ask.

A firm hand stroked his erection, and he opened his eyes to watch. “Hard to see how this is a punishment, babe, when you react like this.” Then the hand left him and Steve couldn’t contain his moan at the loss. Danny pushed against his back. He lowered his torso down to the desk top. Folded leather, passed lightly across his ass and he shivered.

The first lash was loud and hard, stinging deep into his already tingling flesh, but then the sharpness dissipated and he grabbed himself, craving friction. The leather landed hard across the top of his ass at his waist and that one hurt bad.

“Ow! Fuck, Danny!”

“Hands on the desk.”

“Shit.” Steve cursed, but let go of himself and brought this hand back up. Several lashes landed close together now, blending into one another, not giving him time to recover in between, leaving his ass burning and raw.

Danny stepped to his side and picked up his holster, re-threading his belt. He caressed the reddened flesh and ran finger tips along the darkest mark that had been left by the last two straps he’d landed. He applied light pressure as he went along, which made Steve give a light cry. This was the line he’d feel the deepest and longest. Danny couldn’t suppress a smile and he kissed it as he squatted down to pull up Steve’s pants and get him dressed again making a point of only touching his cock enough to get it tucked in his boxer-briefs but nothing else.

“Stand up. How do you feel?”

Steve turned around and leaned against the desk without thinking, then lurched off again. “Fuck. Sore. I’m feeling sore. I didn’t think through that I’d want to come and you wouldn’t let me.”

“We have to get going.” Danny said, intentionally not engaging that.

“Wait. You haven’t given me back...”

“We’re not done.”

“What do you mean we’re not done.”

“We’re going to dinner but we’re not done.”

Steve’s eyes grew wide. “We can’t do this in front of them!”

“Yes we can and we will. What happened today happened because you were subbing and didn’t know it. I need you to learn how to recognize when you’re being topped outside of these little moments between us.”

“They’re gonna know!”

“Maybe. Maybe not. Guess we’re about to find out.”

As they walked down the beach to the shrimp truck, Steve felt nervous and tense. Chin and Kono were already at a table chatting. As they got close, Danny said, “You go sit down and I’ll order for us.”

“I want...”Steve started but Danny cut him off.

“I’ll take care of it.” Danny’s eyes were firm and Steve became aware of how this was gonna go. He nodded and went to sit at the table. Only took a moment for him to encounter the first problem of the evening: hard picnic benches. He swallowed his winces as he sat down and tried to focus on what they were talking about.

A few moments later, Danny sat beside him, passing him a bottle of water. Danny had a beer. Steve glared at him. Danny ignored him.

“Teetotaling tonight boss?” Kono asked.

Danny answered her. “He was complaining of a headache on the way here, so thought he might be a bit dehydrated.”

“You need some ibuprofen? I have some in my bag.”

Steve looked at Danny who nodded. “Yeah, that’d be great.” Steve answered.

They all chatted like normal until Kamekona brought their food. Danny had ordered the garlic shrimp for himself and the spicy shrimp for Steve, which made his heart swell a little. Danny did know what he liked. Conversation quieted as they ate for a bit.

“This garlic shrimp is really good tonight.” Danny said. “He did something different with it. Here, try some.” Danny held up his fork with a bite of shrimp and rice to Steve, who was looking at him hard. They both know this had nothing to do with the food tasting any different. This was Danny pushing Steve to obey in a way he hated in front of Chin and Kono.

“It’s good, I swear.” Danny pressed. Steve felt his face flush as he leaned in and accepted the bite Danny offered. He felt a rush - a desire to fight; argue; overcome.

“Tastes the same as always.” He challenged.

“Oh, wait, maybe there wasn’t enough of the sauce. Here.” Danny swirled another bite onto his fork and held it out. Steve’s jaw tightened and it clicked. He was waging the same emotional war right now that he’d been feeling all day long with Olivia. Danny was topping him and he was resisting, just like she had done. Steve accepted the bite and tried to relax.

“Yeah, maybe it is a little different.” Steve acquiesced. “Or maybe the spicy shrimp has dulled my tastebuds to it.”

“That could be.” Danny agreed. “Let me know if you want any more.”

“One more try.” Steve said casually. Danny fed him another bite and this time Steve pushed his feeling of resistance aside and gave himself over.

“It is good. Not sure it’s different, but I like it.” Steve said.

“Maybe it’s one of those things that gets better the more you have.” Danny offered.

“Maybe.” Steve looked across the table and realized both Chin and Kono were watching them, but said nothing.

5050505050

They were saying goodbyes after dinner and as the Camaro drove away Kono turned to her cousin. “You can’t tell me you didn’t see all that.”

“I saw it.” Chin agreed.

“So now what?”

“Nothing.” He pulled out the keys for his bike and straddled it.

“Nothing? That wasn’t your attitude a few weeks ago.”

“Kono, they were as obvious as they have ever been tonight. I think that was their way of telling us.”

“And you’re OK with it?” She asked gently. She was fine with it, but wanted to support him.

“I wouldn’t say I’m OK with it, but I’m starting to feel that maybe that is my problem not theirs.” She nodded.

“Want me to come over?”

“Nah, I’m good. How about tomorrow?”

“I’ll be there.” She smiled at him, gave his shoulder a quick squeeze and walked to her car.

5050505050

Steve had followed Danny to his place since Doris was home and Danny still hadn’t returned his coin to him yet. Once inside, Danny offered, “I’m feeling like dessert.”

Thinking this was a euphemism, Steve replied, “I would love something sweet.”

Danny leaned against the counter that was between the kitchen and living room. “Take your clothes off.”

 _Finally!_ Steve thought, stripping down to his boxer-briefs.

“Everything.” Danny ordered. Steve took them off slowly, letting his erection bounce as did. He took a step towards his partner, but Danny turned away.

“There’s a box of brownie mix in the cupboard.”

Steve looked confused. “What are you talking about?”

Danny turned back. “We agreed we felt like dessert. There’s brownie mix. Go make them.”

“Are you fucking with me right now?” Steve asked, not believing what Danny was saying.

“Your ass is already pretty sore, but if you need me to provide further reminder of what happens when you don’t do as I tell you, I’m happy to oblige.”

He hesitated. He wanted sex, not discipline right now. And he for sure didn’t want to be making fucking brownies, especially while naked. Danny simply stood there, waiting. Not angry, not daring him, just neutral. His calm demeanor had a similar effect on Steve, who took a few deep breaths and settled before walking into the kitchen.

He had the oven pre-heating and had mixed everything together when he felt Danny come up behind him. He turned his head slightly. Danny was now shirtless, wearing sweatpants only. Steve felt soft kisses at his back as he stirred the batter. Danny’s hands were on him now, smoothing across his ass. He loved how Danny’s hands felt against his still-tender skin. He needed to pour the batter into the pan now but found himself distracted.

“Focus on what you need to do.” Danny whispered.

“You’re making that rather hard.” Steve smiled.

“I’m sure you can figure it out.” Danny started stroking him now, and Steve grunted as he focused on pouring the mix into the metal pan, scraping the sides. He set the bowl to the side and stepped back to put the pan in the oven. Danny wiped a finger along the bowl, picking up a little of the batter from the sides. He wiped some onto each of Steve’s nipples.

“Fuck me...” Steve moaned.

“Not yet.” Danny put his finger between Steve’s lips and he suckled. Danny slid his finger in and out of his mouth while he licked at the smeared chocolate on Steve’s chest.

“I...Danno...I have to set the timer.”

“What’s stopping you?”

Steve stretched over Danny’s head and punched in the time on the kitchen timer. When he was done, he laid his palm on the back of Danny’s head, fisting his hair. “Harder.” Steve said, wanting more pull and drag at his nipple than he was getting.

Danny let go and gave him a “You’re a hardheaded son-of-a-bitch” look and Steve let his arm drop. “Sorry.”

Danny picked up a paper towel and wiped the other side of Steve’s chest, denying him the pleasure of his tongue. Pulling him by the hand, Danny walked him to the table and pushed his chest down. Reaching under, Danny stroked him and pulled his cock so it pointed down as he pushed his hips forward, so he hung perpendicular to the edge of the table.

“Stay still.” Danny ordered and Steve braced himself for more spanking. He was not expecting to feel Danny’s tongue on his hole, licking wide swathes across him, over and over. He rested his forehead on his arms on the table and moaned out his pleasure. “Danny...fuck...that’s so...Oh my god.” Danny’s tongue pushed it’s way inside, twisting the heavenly feeling of the rimming with twinges of aching pain. He wanted to thrust but couldn’t because his cock was trapped against the table, adding to his frustration. The more Danny gave, the more he took, and it was driving him insane.

He could tell Danny was being intentionally noisy in his task, which served to both give him images in his brain, visualizing what Danny was doing, and drove his arousal higher.

Danny stood up and Steve heard the cap pop on a bottle of lube. A shudder of anticipation ran through him as he felt the stretch and then Danny’s thumbs on the top of his ass as he grabbed hold to thrust into him.

The tight, burning pressure inside him was married with the dull aches that Danny caused by his hands and thighs pushing against his the still-red flesh of his ass. He relaxed his mind and felt the familiar cloudiness come over as he stopped thinking and let the feelings take over.

He heard the timer go off as Danny’s pace became brutal and fast until he felt him shudder and still. Danny pulled out of him, walked to the kitchen and hit the timer and pulled the pan out and set it on the stovetop.Steve stayed where he was, a bit worn out but also knowing he hadn’t been told he could move.

A warm hand ran across his back. “Come to the bedroom, babe.”

Steve laid down on his side, waiting for Danny to join him. Danny passed the coin back to him.

“You did pretty good tonight. Did you learn anything?”

“Yeah, but my brain is too fuzzy for words right now.”

“OK. We can save that for later. Lay back and let me take care of you.” Danny pushed him to his back and drew kisses, down his belly towards Steve’s still-hard cock.

“So you didn’t want to actually eat any brownies, you just wanted me to make them.”

Danny ran his tongue around the head, sucked on it for a bit and answered, “We can bring them to the office tomorrow. Sooner or later, you’re gonna learn to trust that I have reasons for everything I ask of you, even if that reason is only because it brings me pleasure.” He sucked Steve back again, but his partner pushed on the top of his head, pulling him off.

“But when I have it, that means I have a voice in what I want.”

Danny rested his head against Steve’s thigh. “You do. And ultimately you have the power to take back control anytime you feel you have to.”

He tugged on Danny’s arm until he was up close enough to kiss him before rolling him over and offering up his own reminders of just how much he loved him.


	22. S3: E9 Ha’awe Make Loa (Death Wish) / E10 Huaka’i Kula (Field Trip)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has to share Danny with two groups of women: tall models and tiny survivalists. But both times, it’s him wanting to be an increased presence in Grace’s life that he cares most about.

“Where are you heading off to? We have to prep the file for Cordova’s arraignment.” Steve called out from his office as he saw Danny close the door on his own office.

“Uh, well, that’s not my case and I have a thing.” Danny had his bag in one hand, his car keys in another, and had walked to stand in Steve’s doorway.

“Every case we have is all our case. You think because I allowed you to play with supermodels all day that gets you out of paperwork? If anything, you owe the rest of us because we actually did all the hard work of, y’know, solving the case and catching the killer. All you did was cuff him.”

“Exactly. I had my own attempted murder to track down, which I did and I also sent the evidence file to the prosecutor an hour ago, so I am going to keep my date with my daughter.”

“Oh, you’re with Gracie. I didn’t realize. Where you talking her?”

“Who are you, Tom Brokaw? I’m going out with her, why do you care where?”

Steve crossed his arms and gave him a squinty look. “I care because you’re not answering me, which is leading me to believe you don’t want me to know where you’re going.”

Danny sighed. “I’m taking her to the fashion show. Behati was thankful that I saved her life and she is giving me and Grace backstage passes.”

“Just you and Grace?”

“Yeah. She was nice enough to offer and it seemed rude to ask for more.”

“Of course,” Steve nodded with some sarcasm, “because as Mr. Congeniality, you abhor rudeness. I forgot that about you.”

‘You’re giving me shit right now? I’m gonna be late because you need to have a little pity party here?”

“Nah, man, just noticing that when Arlo called me and offered me a backstage pass earlier today for all the help Five-0 gave him, I asked him to include you, is all. You know, because you’re my partner.”

Danny’s shoulders sagged a bit. “Wonderful. That’s great. No. It will be fun to be there with you, looking like you just rolled in off a Maxim cover, while everyone else thinks I’m your PA.”

“Ah, so you admit it wasn’t about being rude, you wanted to spend more time flirting with half-naked women.”

“Don’t give me that face. We both know you enjoy the softer side of Sears way more than I do.”

“What does that mean?”

“Your dick’s in pussy at least as much as it’s in me, is what I mean.”

“Now, you’re pissing me off, man.” Steve knew his continuing to see Catherine was hard on Danny, but he spent just as much time with Gabby. OK. Not just as much...but still.

“I’m sorry. It’s...sometimes it can feel like I have to compete with the whole world for you.”

“You think it was easy for me to leave you on that assignment today?”

“Please. None of that was real and you know it.”

Steve walked over to him and drew him close. “This is real.”

Their lips met and Danny felt flustered because they were at work and Chin or Kono could walk into HQ at any moment, but as Steve’s tongue slipped past his lips, he no longer cared. After some tender moments of feeling Danny melt against him, Steve kept his arms around his partner’s waist as he leaned back to talk.

”Danno, I want to be there with you and Gracie tonight. More than bringing you along, when Arlo offered me the passes, my first thoughts were that Grace would love it. Be my date tonight.”

“Alright. I’ll pick you up on the way to get Grace.” Danny said, a bit breathless.

“I’ll be waiting.” Steve smiled at him and Danny soaked it in.

5050505050

A few days later they were heading into work when Steve’s phone buzzed. Danny listened because Steve never got calls this early unless it was a case.

“Really? I’ve had underwater combat training not to mention 15 years field ops. Is that really necessary? No, I understand, but seriously, I could teach that class and 18 levels more complicated. No, I get it. Rules are rules. What day is it? Six hours? Are you serious? No, it’s fine. Yes.”

Danny was entirely fascinated by whatever was going on right now and watched Steve with complete bemusement. When he saw the eye-roll and then Steve said, “Yes, I will be nice to her.” Danny laughed out loud.

“But if she tries to teach something that’s wrong, I’m not going to let her put everyone at risk with bad information. No, that’s not... OK. OK. No, it’s fine. I will behave. Thank-you Madeline. Bye.”

“Who is Madeline?”

“You know Madeline.”

“The only Madeline I know is the one that leads Grace’s Aloha Girls group.”

“That’s the one.”

“Why is she calling you?” Danny’s suspicious sensors on high alert now.

“Apparently being a Navy SEAL is not enough to get me out of the required training for camping chaperones.”

“Um, why do you need to take the chaperone training?”

“You took the training. Is it as tedious as it sounds?”

“Of course I took the training; it’s required before you can go camping with the girls. Why are you not answering my question?”

“Because I called Madeline last week to tell her I wanted to come along on the camp out next weekend.”

“The camp out Grace and I are going on? That’s the camp out you’re talking about?”

“Is there another camp out that weekend?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Then why are you asking stupid questions?”

“OK, I’ll play along for the moment. Who exactly did you tell Madeline you were since only parents are supposed to be chaperones and you have to have a background check.”

“You think I can’t pass a background check?”

“That is not my point and you know it. How did you even get her number?”

“Gracie knows it.”

“Ahhh, I see. You went around me and told Grace you wanted to chaperone the trip.”

“Well, she may have asked me.”

“She what?”

“I guess at their last meeting, Madeline told the girls they needed one more parent chaperone and Gracie offered me. She texted me from the meeting and I told her I would. Why are you giving me that look? I thought it’d be a great thing for all of us. Fun bonding time.”

“I...uh...I...I wish you’d thought to ask me first.”

“Is there a problem?”

“I mean, not really I guess. Of course I’m happy you’re going. But have you thought about the fact that we will have to share a tent because we will be the only males on the trip?”

“I did, in fact. So what?”

“Just that whenever we sleep in close proximity, you tend to wind up wrapped around me with your hand down my pants, which is not exactly...”

“Hold the phone! You make it sound like I’m some kind of lust-crazed spider monkey. We will have separate bed rolls. We can even lay head to toe like we used to do on field ops. I know how to share a tent with a guy and not molest him.”

“I honestly don’t know if that’s comforting or disappointing.”

“We’re gonna have a great time.” Steve grinned as he clasped Danny’s hand.

5050505050

Together, Chin, Danny, Steve, and Lucy met at the ranger station where Madeline and Jeff were waiting for them. The conservation rangers were working to help Jeff contact someone who could come drive him to the hospital. The guys were working with maps to help mark out where the bodies of their two diamond thieves had ended up. Madeline was getting Lucy cleaned up before their ride out to where Lucy’s parents were waiting at the park entrance.

“Pardon me, Detective. Can I talk to you for a moment?” Madeline asked Danny as he stood with the rest of Five-0 looking over trail maps.

“Yeah, sure.” Danny stepped away with her.

“First, I wanted to thank you for everything you did here. And I wanted to...I hope you won’t take Grace out of the Aloha Girls. I think it would be a big mistake.”

Danny rocked back, slightly amused. He wasn’t used to having anyone take his panicked ramblings seriously. “Really? Why is that?”

“For one, I really enjoy having Grace in the group and I would miss her. For another, as much as you talk a big game about making her live in some kind of bubble, I believe you’d much rather have her know how to take care of herself. Especially...” She hesitated.

“Especially why?”

Madeline stepped closer. “She worries about you. A lot. We talked during a meeting once about what scares us. And in a group of girls who said things like snakes, spiders, and loud fire alarms, Grace said the only thing that scares her is the day when someone comes to tell her you’ve been killed.”

Danny looked down, not wanting her to see his tears swell. “I’m a nurse. I know your job is dangerous and neither one of us can take away that reality. But what you can do is make sure the circle of adults who will be there for her if her worst fear comes true is as strong as possible. My role in her life is to teach her skills to take care of herself, even when she’s afraid, lost, or alone. Your role is to love and protect her. She needs both of us.”

She placed a hand on his good shoulder. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Danny wiped his eyes and looked up. “It’s OK. You’re my kinda person Madeline. You sure you’re not from Jersey?”

She smiled, “I’m going to assume that’s a compliment.”

“The highest.” He said as he held a hand for her to shake. “Thank-you.”

“My pleasure.” She left to get Lucy and leave with the escort ranger.

Danny turned and Steve was standing behind him. “You OK?”

“Yeah.”

“Anything we need to...”

“Nah. She just wanted to remind me that Grace might benefit from me not being so overprotective.”

“I think you’re just the right amount of protective.”

“Weren’t you the one wanting to teach her to throw a knife?”

“Yeah, but then she’ll know how, and it won’t be dangerous anymore.”

“No, you are Danger-magnet Steve McGarrett. Only you can turn this lovely little camp-out into a smuggling-kidnapping-attempted murder thing.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “It was, like, extra credit. Madeline and I are already talking about the next one.”

“Next one?”

“Yeah. She wants us to do a five-day Advanced Wilderness training with the girls this summer.”

“And the ways in which I hate you just keep compounding.”

“Shaddup, you love me.”


	23. S3: 11 Kahu (Guardian) -14 Hana I Wa ‘la (Do It Now)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter spans four episodes where there is a thread of Steve having moments that address the growing inner-conflict about a life with Catherine versus a life with Danny, culminating in his feelings of jealousy and anxiety around Grace’s custody hearing.

“You’re uncharacteristically quiet right now.” Danny observed as they headed back from Bradford’s. Chin had gone home to take a shower after the pig had exploded on him.

“Remember that place I took you to breakfast a few weeks ago?”

“The Rainbow Drive-in?”

“Yeah, you liked it right?”

“Sure. Food was good and you got a lot of food for a good price, which I always like.”

“Exactly. Great place. But Catherine...”

“Wait, wait, wait. Today is her last day of leave and you took her out to breakfast at the Rainbow?” He asked incredulously.

“Yeah. Why are you talking to me that way. You liked it!”

“It’s totally different.”

“No it’s not.” Steve argued. “In fact, the circumstances are remarkably similar.”

Danny thought back to the late-night sex-marathon that had preceded their last trip to the Rainbow for breakfast. He knew that when Cath was on leave, she and Steve took advantage of the un-interrupted time, well, as much as Five-0 would ever allow. In terms of hour for hour, Steve was still with him 80% of the time, so Danny would quietly step back on those days.

“Uh, OK. There’s one major difference. Catherine is a woman. She’s going to expect things I won’t.”

“It’s breakfast after a night of awesome sex. Isn’t the romance built in?”

Danny grimaced. “Just curious, but do you talk to her like that about me?”

“Do I talk to her about having sex with you?”

“Yeah.”

“Not details no, but she knows we fuck a lot.”

“Why? Why does she know that?” Danny covered his eyes with his hand, truly not believing this.

“She’s made comments about how much lube I go through. Though I haven’t told her that there’s another bottle at your place.”

“Oh my god.” Danny groaned.

“What? I thought we agreed that we were going to be open about this. No secrets. That’s what we said.”

“OK, there’s no secrets as in she and I both know when you’re with the other or...or...there’s a weekend like this one where she’s got leave and so we are all upfront about that. But there’s honesty and then there’s oversharing, babe.”

“So you don’t want me talking to you about her? Doesn’t that defeat the point of the honesty?”

“I’m happy to have you talk about her, but maybe I don’t exactly want to know position and number of orgasms, is all I’m saying. And my guess is she would tell you the same thing.”

“Okay. Y’know, it’s not like anyone gives you a polyamory guidebook or anything?”

“I’m aware. I’m not mad at you. We’re all figuring this out. Which is why you started this strange conversation to begin with. Breakfast in your truck outside a drive-in is not the romantic end to your weekend that she wanted.”

“That much has been made clear to me.”

“She’s due back on base at 2200 right?”

“Yeah.”

“Great. Take her to a real dinner. Spend actual money. Especially since you got her carjacked this morning. You owe her.”

“Hey! I saved her from a carjacking this morning.”

“I’m sure she is thankful that most of the time, she doesn’t need Kevlar to get through a day with you, unlike yours truly.”

“I’d have saved you from the carjacker too.” Steve smiled at him.

“Maybe. Or I’d have shot him for daring to point a gun at you in my presence.”

5050505050

“I feel like we’re not dressed to go to the same place.” Catherine laughed as Steve set her down by the Silverado’s passenger door.

“We’re stopping by your place so you can put on that silver dress I like.”

“Oh, we are?”

“Yeah. And then dinner with actual menus and everything. But we have to hurry so you can check back in by 2200.”

“You know the drive-in was fine, really.” She felt a bit guilty that he was going way overboard. She’d wanted a restaurant, but not necessarily something this fancy.

“Danny took me task for not being romantic enough.”

“Danny said that?” She was surprised. The two of them weren’t exactly besties, but they had found an easy peace because they knew how much Steve loved both of them.

“Yeah. This was his idea, actually.”

“Tell him I appreciate it.”

Steve clasped her hand and kissed it. “I will.” He wanted...OK, needed...Cath and Danno to get along, so whatever he could do to make that happen, he would do.

~~~~~~~~~

She fingered the stem of his wine glass, listening and nodding, but feeling distracted.

“Did you hear me?” Steve asked.

She blinked at him. “Uh, sorry. I guess not.”

“I asked if you thought Ethan might like spear fishing.”

“Well, uh, I don’t know. I only met him today.”

“Yeah, but you spent more time with him.”

Her face scrunched up a bit. “I suppose.”

“As Danny would say, you have aneurysm face.”

She cocked her head. “What is that?”

“It’s what he says I look like when I’m frustrated by him. That’s how I feel you look right now.”

“I spent six hours with the kid. The topic of spear fishing did not come up.”

“Yeah, but you must have talked to him, right. He seems like a kid without a lot of opportunities.”

“I think he’s a kid who lives a rural life. That doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t have opportunities though. He has his dad and seems pretty happy with that.”

“I guess.” Steve pushed at the garlic potatoes he had left on his plate.

“Am I missing something?”

He took a gulp of his wine and looked at her. “You ever think about having kids?”

“Woah.” She leaned back and took a large gulp of wine herself.

“Is that a no?”

“Uh, it’s not a yes or a no. Are you...is that something you think about?”

His eyes met hers. “Yes. It is.”

“You’re serious.”

“It’s a serious topic.”

“For some people. We’re not even exclusively dating, never mind being in a position to be having this kind of conversation.”

Steve’s brow furrowed. He’d talked about kids with Danny, more than once. Granted, it was theoretical or about Danny’s kids, but it wasn’t a non-topic.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Steve looked at his watch. “Do you want dessert or do you need to get back?”

“Steve, what is happening right now?”

“Nothing. It’s something I think about is all. Y’know, someday.”

“Okay. Uh, sure. Someday. Maybe. But not now. Not for me, anyway.”

“That makes sense. You’re still in NIS and I know that’s not a life that’s conducive to kids. Was just making conversation. That’s all.”

She didn’t believe him, but also wasn’t willing to follow this conversation where it would clearly lead. She didn’t mind kids. Hanging out with Ethan today was easy. But it also was not how she would have chosen to spend her day. And the idea of having a baby was not even in the stratosphere of anything she wanted to do right now. And maybe never.

“Y’know, it’s been a crazy day, so I’m fine with skipping dessert.”

He nodded and waived to the waiter.

5050505050

“Eric take off OK?” Steve asked as Danny came through the door of his apartment.

“Yeah, just fine. Why, uh, why are you here? Not that I’m complaining, just wasn’t expecting to come home to you.” Steve was sitting on the couch flipping through a magazine. Danny sat down next to him.

“OK, spill. You’ve been acting goofy all week.”

“I don’t know. I’ve...there’s a lot of stuff bouncing around in my head is all.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“My dinner with Catherine...it didn’t end so great.”

“What happened? You have a fight or something?”

“No, nothing like that.”

“OK.”

“We’d been talking about that kid, Ethan, and we...we started talking...no, I asked if she’d ever thought about having kids.”

“Woah.” Danny rocked back and shifted so he was turned more towards Steve. “What did she say.”

“She said that maybe, someday, she’d want that.”

“Was that not the right answer?” Danny wasn’t sure where this was going.

“It was the right answer for her, I guess.” Steve turned towards Danny on the sofa.

“And you wanted her to give a different answer.”

“No. I mean, I wouldn’t want her to take that on if she didn’t want to. I just wondered if she was thinking about it sooner than later. And she told me. Later. Much later.”

“How about you? What is your answer to that question?”

“What does that matter? Not like I can get knocked up.”

Danny gave him a disbelieving look. “Uh, no, that’s not in your wheelhouse, as they say. But you can still want children even if you can’t actually give birth to them. Those things don’t have to go together.”

“I get that. But I...I don’t know, I’ve been finding myself wanting to be a dad. Today, when that girl thought we were the dads for that co-ed? It bugged me because if I’m old enough to have a college-age daughter, then how old will I be when I actually get to have a baby and what age will I be when it grows up? I mean, Gracie is already 11. Even if I were to somehow father a baby now, I’d be 55 when he or she graduates from high school, almost 60 when they graduate college.”

“Alright, slow your roll there, you’re starting to sound like me.” Danny was worried about this conversation but they needed to have it. “Look, I get it. Being a father is the best thing that has ever happened to me, so I understand completely where you are coming from.”

“Thank-you.” Steve nodded.

“Can I ask though, what would happen if she came to you tomorrow and said she wanted children now?”

“What? Like if she showed up at my house and said she was willing to...”

“Make little Jarheads, yes.”

“That’s the Marine Corps.”

“Do I ever care?”

Steve knew what his answer was but was scared to say it. He loved Danny. He knew he did. But a life with Danny also came with restrictions...

“Steve, it’s OK to tell me you’d pick having a family over me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Next week I have my custody hearing. If I lose...”

“You’re not going to lose.” Steve had refused to even entertain the idea that Danny could lose at the custody hearing.

“Steve, I think we both need to face some hard realities. If Rachel is allowed to move to Vegas with Grace, I will move to Vegas.”

“I know.” Steve dropped his head but Danny caught him under the chin and lifted until their eyes met.

“And I know that if Catherine came to you tonight and said, ‘Let’s make a baby.’ You would probably do it. I’m not judging you about that at all. But I don’t want to be in the middle of that. Kids need stability and love...and I’m not comfortable with a kid coming into this...this unorthodox thing we have. That’s my line and I’m not gonna cross it.”

Steve nodded and sat quietly. “Kind of a moot point really. She’s not up for it right now.”

Danny took in a breath. “You, uh, you think that maybe she’s not feelin’ being a baby factory for you?”

“I never asked for that! That’s not what I mean at all. Why would you say that to me?”

“Aren’t you? You’re cruising along, having two romantic and sexual relationships at the same time,” Danny held a hand up at Steve blustering in protest, “and we are all adults who are aware of that and have agreed to it, but now you’re bringing up kids when you haven’t even settled on a committed relationship with her. You can’t see how that might make her feel? You can’t even knock me up and it still makes me do a double take.”

“I wasn’t trying to imply any of that. I’m sorry, I just...I find myself thinking about that night helping to take care of Charlie and I love, really love, being a part of Gracie’s life. And you get to have that forever while I don’t.... What’s so awful about me wanting that too?”

Realization was finally dawning. “This about the custody hearing, isn’t it.”

Steve struggled to get his emotions under control. “I don’t want you move to Vegas. I hate that I have no say in this. If you lose and move away, it’s not just you that gets stripped out of my life. I lose Gracie too.”

“My, uh, my attorney and I have talked about you speaking at the hearing.”

“You did? How? Why?”

“I made the argument that making Grace move would cost her school friends, but also relationships with adults who cared for her. I mentioned how you’d started helping with the Aloha Girls, for example. We hadn’t settled on it because he said that having you talk in court might open the door to questions about the nature of our relationship, which I did **not** want Rachel’s attorney going after.

“But he offered that I could bring in character witnesses, if I wanted. I hadn’t asked you because I feel like my own character should be enough. I’m her father, what better reason is there that I should have as much a say in where Grace lives as her mom, y’know?”

“I’d like to be there. I can stand there and be quiet or I can be a character witness. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“I’ll call him tomorrow. C’mere.” Danny pulled Steve close and hugged him. Steve nuzzled his neck and Danny couldn’t tell for sure if his partner was crying or not. Then Steve started to kiss and suck at the flesh by his ear and he leaned back, pulling Steve on top of him.

It wasn’t the same. They both knew it wasn’t. But the act of making love to Danny, of coming inside him, helped ease Steve’s feeling of loss and convinced him even more that he needed to ensure Rachel could not take Gracie away.

5050505050

They had planned to meet at the courthouse. Rachel was away and so Danny needed to get Grace to school first. When he first saw Steve, he had to force himself to think about dead pigeons to keep his erection at bay because Danny had learned he definitely had a uniform kink. Which he thought was odd given how many people in his life wear uniforms and they’d never struck him as particularly sexy before. Until Steve. The first time he had seen him in Dress Blues was at Meka’s funeral and Danny had been grateful for how distractingly attractive Steve was that night.

Now, he wanted so badly to put his hands on Steve, like clinging to a life raft. He’d looked around and realized that there were too many unknowns, so he settled for fixing Steve’s tie. It wasn’t that messed up really, but it was the only thing he could think of.

Of course Steve resisted because he carried a nervousness all his own. He cared less about his tie and more about what he wanted to say and how he could say it in a way that would help, and not hurt, Danny’s chances of winning.

Once inside, Steve started to worry. This judge was not responding to Danny in a way he would have liked. He’d been in her courtroom before, testifying for cases. She was fair, but she was ruthless when it came to holding Five-0 to a higher standard. He knew her asking about Danny getting shot during the camp out was more her fishing to see if he was abusing his power or exposing Grace to his work life. He had to intervene.

 _Shit! Why does Denning have to call now?!_ He’d texted Danny to meet him back at the Palace. He had to run home and change before meeting with the Governor because he didn’t want to explain why he was in uniform. He’d worn it specifically to seem impressive, just like he did anytime he testified. But he had not been there as either Five-0 or for the Navy. His being in family court that morning was entirely personal and he didn’t want to give his boss any reason to ask about it.

Before he left Gov. Denning’s office, Danny had texted him to say he was on his way back. They agreed to meet in the garage.

“You changed.” Danny observed.

“Yeah, I didn’t want Denning asking nosy questions.”

“I like the Dress Blues.” Steve had parked at the far end of the garage by the wall and Danny had walked to the driver’s side, taking advantage of the cover the large pickup truck provided.

Steve grabbed Danny’s hips and pulled him close. “I know. You give me those lusty blues every time I wear ‘em. How did it go?”

Danny’s shoulder’s sagged. “I really don’t know. My lawyer didn’t either, which isn’t giving me much hope.”

Steve pulled Danny’s tie apart and unbuttoned the top buttons, then leaned in and kissed him, trailing his lips down to his throat, where Danny liked kisses best. Danny thrust against Steve’s pelvis, hands pinching his nipples through his shirt. Steve put his hands over Danny’s stilling them.

“Things are gonna get too far too fast if you keep doing that.”

“That’s why I do it.” Danny said, breathless.

“We have a case.”

“We always have a case.” Danny was trying to keep working his fingers, but Steve held his hands firmly.

“Fuck, Danny. We have to get upstairs. I promise we will finish this later and I will give you free-reign to abuse my nipples all you want.”

“Promise?” Danny winked at him and turned to walk around the truck, back toward the elevators.

Steve groaned inwardly. He had a feeling that Danny was going to make him pay for both starting and stopping things just now.

Once upstairs, Danny’s cantankerousness bled into his case briefing.

“All I know is both times now that the Governor has asked for our help directly, he’s also tied one hand behind our backs. He’s a politician which means he’s a liar in a fancy suit and I don’t feel need to follow orders from someone I don’t trust.”

“And that’s what makes us different Danny. I have to trust the chain of command because I can’t always take the time to build trust with an individual. I have to trust the office.”

Danny shook his head. “Wanna talk about how well that worked out last time?”

“Not really.” Steve was frustrated with this whole conversation because he knew Danny was right but they had to proceed with the mission parameters as given. For now anyway. Plus, Danny wasn’t the one who had to stand in front of Denning and tell him no, so it was easy for him to Monday-morning-Quarterback.

“This whole things smells bad and you know it.” Danny pushed.

“That may be but I need you to fall in line.”

“I’m NOT one of your sailors.”

“You’re not. You’re my Second. And there’s no one in this team I want in that role more than you. So how about you step off and remember that you don’t have to trust Denning. You only have to trust me.”

“Yeah, OK.”

5050505050

The Governor hung out with them for about 45 minutes but turned down an invitation to dinner. Steve had called Doris the minute he’d learned Wo Fat was on the island, so she had left earlier that dayZ. He’d tried to get her to tell him where she was going but she refused. He’d learned to back off because the more he asked, the more she’d pull away. Tonight though, on the heels of Danny’s amazing news, he was thankful to have his house all to themselves.

Walking up behind Danny, he slid his hands into his partner’s front pockets. “Should we go out to dinner and celebrate?”

“Hmmm, or we could find a way to celebrate right here.”

“Why do I feel like you have already thought of something.”

“Haven’t actually. I mean, yeah, I have some thoughts about how we can spend our evening, but I had those before. Dinner, though, that could be...fun.” Danny turned to face him.

“What is with you and kinky shit involving food?” Steve asked teasingly.

“Sex, not unlike food, is essential for human existence.” Danny ran his hands up Steve’s arms, fingers pushing under his shirt-sleeves.

“You want me to cook or should we get take out then?”

“Which would you like?”

“I get a say?”

“Of course.”

He thought about it. “I’ll cook. But I need to hit the grocery story.”

“I need to grab a few things from my apartment, so how about we meet back here in an hour?”  
~~~~~~~~

Danny was back first, which he’d counted on happening, taking advantage of being at the house alone to stage a few things. When Steve came back with a couple bags, Danny was sitting on the counter in the kitchen, drinking a beer, a Rolling Stone’s playlist going on the kitchen speaker. He’d changed into his more casual jeans and t-shirt when he’d gone home.

“What’d you get?” Danny asked.

“Stuff for stir-fry.” Steve pulled out veggies and a package of rice noodles, along with a bottle hoisin sauce. He’d also gotten some shrimp, a small carton of coconut ice cream and raspberry chocolate sauce. After putting the ice cream away, he grabbed himself a Longboard and walked to where Danny sat, wedging himself between his knees.

“Thought you were gonna cook.”

Steve took a swallow of his beer, his tongue dipping into the opening, eyes on Danny as he did so.

“I will. Figured you’d have parameters or directions though.”

Danny shrugged and also took a swig of his beer. “It’s your house. I’m just sitting here.”

Steve leaned in and kissed him for a while and then Danny felt Steve slide something into the back pocket of his Levi’s. Danny broke the kiss and reached his hand back to touch the outside of his pocket, the familiar round shape meeting his fingertips.

Danny took another swallow of his beer and said, “Shirt off.”

Steve complied and Danny locked his legs behind Steve’s ass. He lightly ran the mouth of his beer bottle over Steve’s left nipple. “I like playing with these.”

“Not more than I like you doing it.” Steve’s voice was husky and he pulled Danny’s hips closer.

“You say that now...” Danny leaned back tauntingly.

“I had a hard-on the whole time I was at the store, wondering what you might be planning. I’m ready. Bring it.”

“God, I love you.” He brought Steve’s hands around. “Keep them in my pockets. I liked that.”

As strong fingers slid into the denim, Danny pulled at both nipples, kneading them. Steve huffed out low moans as crackles of energy rippled from his chest to his groin and he rubbed himself against Danny thinking he’d get some kind of reprimand but none came, so he kept doing it.

Danny let go and reached to flip over a coffee cup that had been sitting on the counter beside him. Steve hadn’t noticed it before, but couldn’t look away now. Danny picked up one of the clear cylinders with a white screw top.

“You know what this is?”

“Not exactly, but I can imagine.” It looked like it was designed for suction, like tiny bilge pump. He watched in fascination as Danny licked his left nipple and placed the cylinder directly over his areola and began to turn the white fly screw at the top. He felt the pressure and pull instantly, causing him to gasp. The constant suction felt unbelievable, and while it hurt a little, the sensation still went straight to his cock. When Danny let go and moved to attach the second one, Steve stared at his own flesh sucked hard into this tube, filling it several millimeters.

Danny leaned back and finished his beer. “Before you go get dinner ready, bring me another Longboard, babe.”

“Yes sir.” Steve smiled at him and headed to the fridge. After handing Danny his beer, he pulled out the veggies and started chopping. He went shirtless all the time, but he’d never tried to do normal tasks while his nips were suctioned purple. It was not only distracting, but his erection was throbbing, still trapped inside his cargo pants. He glanced over at Danny, who was dragging the bottom of his beer bottle along the thick ridge that had formed beneath soft denim as he watched him work. Steve put the noodles in a bowl to soak.

“What are you thinking about?” Steve asked, as he sliced thin strips of red pepper.

“In that exact moment, I was wondering what you’d look like with a barbell piercing in each one.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

Danny shrugged a little. “I can envision it.”

Thinking about it sent a tiny shock wave through his swelling nubs, as if he could feel what that would be like already.

“Tats don’t bother me, obviously, but never gave much thought to piercings because the Navy forbids it. Can’t even have holes you only put jewelry in off duty.”

“Catherine’s ears are pierced.”

“Women can have a single piercing in each ear. And if you came in with piercings, that’s fine, you just can’t wear anything in them.”

“Then how would they know? You only have to deploy two weeks a year now. They could heal before you needed to leave and you just don’t wear anything during those two weeks.”

“But I have a physical every year. The doc would notice and compare it to the body map on file. If it wasn’t already listed as something I came in with, I’d get Masted.” Steve referred to the mid-level punishment hearing. Less severe than a court marshal, but more serious than a PosMo.

“Fucking Navy.” Danny groused.

“I’m sure they made the rule just to fuck with your kinks.” He was now slicing the leek root into thin shavings then moved on to the sweet onion.

Danny hopped off the counter and walked over to him. “Hands at your sides.”

Steve set down the knife, wiped his hands on a towel and stepped back. Danny ran is fingers around the the outside edge of the two cups. “Feeling numb?”

“Not exactly. Sort of a dull throb.” Danny gave each one a quarter turn, increasing the suction pressure and Steve hissed and closed his eyes.

“You’re doing great babe. Back to work.” Danny slid a hand across the back of Steve’s cargo pants and he backed into the touch. He wanted Danny’s hands on him so badly, especially his cock, which he could feel was leaking pretty good now.

However, Danny always seemed to know what he wanted but wasn’t going to just give it to him. Steve picked the knife back up to julienne the carrots and focused on what he was doing. Thinking about Danny right now was not something he should do with a knife in his hand or he was apt to cut himself.

Once he had the veggies done, he pulled the wok pan off the rack and poured in sesame oil to heat and drained the noodles into a colander. He took a moment to finally look at Danny and he saw his partner leaning against the counter across from the center island. The fly on his jeans was undone and he’d lowered the waistband of his boxer-briefs just enough for the head of his cock to show. A lazy finger swirled through the precome that bubbled there.

“Fuuuuck, Danno.” Steve wanted to replace that finger with his tongue.

“Dinner done yet?” Danny asked.

“That’s not helping.”

“I can be more distracting, if you’d prefer.”

“You’re pretty fucking distracting as it is.” Steve said as he turned around and slid the onions, leeks, peppers, and carrots into the simmering oil. As he stirred, he felt Danny behind him. A hand reached up and pushed on the flesh at the base of one of the cylinders, breaking the seal and pulled the pump off. Steve gave a soft cry as it pulled. He looked down at himself, noting how the whole areola was fattened and his nipple at the center was bigger, though not as much as he thought it would be. Danny popped the other off and then rubbed and pulled at the bruised flesh. He groaned.

“You burn that and there will be consequences.” Danny said as he kept up his punishing tugs and Steve had to refocus on stirring the veggies, making a mental note that the next time he agreed to cook for Danny while subbing, he’d buy a frozen lasagna.

Steve slid the veggies out of the pan to a plate on the stove and added more oil and the shrimp. Danny knew they would need to set for a moment.

“Turn around.” Steve did, careful to stand away from the open flame of the cooktop.

Danny sucked one of his nipples hard, licking it with his tongue as he held it inside his mouth. Steve thrust the air involuntarily. “Yes. Fuck. So good.” He moaned until Danny let go with a pop. He put the suction tube back on again and cranked it.

“Dammit.” Going back into the suction pumps the second time was much less pleasant than the first time. He chuffed out the pain until he could center himself again. One of these days he was going to learn to not smart-off to Danny when they were playing.

The smell of the shrimp made him turn around, hoping they hadn’t burned. He stirred them. They were a little bit over cooked, but not too bad. He added the rice noodles and cooked them with the shrimp for a few minutes before adding the veggies back in to warm them up.

“Sir Daniel, will you grab two plates from the cupboard please?”

“As you wish.” Danny’d closed his fly back up and grabbed the plates.

Steve divided out two healthy portions and Danny grabbed forks. “You want more beer or water.”

“Water is probably best. Both of us are several beers in now.” Steve said as he carried the plates to the table. Danny followed with two glasses of water and the forks. Danny sat and Steve waited.

“Please sit down.” Danny motioned to the chair. “But that was very good right there. That’s earned you something special later.”

They ate and chatted, though Steve couldn’t fully take his mind off the pumps attached to his chest as he kept bumping them while he ate.

When they finished, Danny picked up the plates. “You cooked, so I’m gonna clean up. Come with me though.”

Steve followed him into the kitchen and watched as Danny loaded the everything but the pan and knife into the washer. He washed those by hand and set them on the rack. He dried his hands and walked Steve backwards into one of the counter corners. He gently unwound one pump, and sucked the engorged flesh back.

“Ah-ah-ah, tender.” Steve said. Danny responded by licking them with the flat of his tongue and Steve’s erection throbbed again. Danny removed the second one, repeating the process.

Steve rocked his hips, wanting sweet friction, but Danny backed away. “Stay.”

Steve’s hands gripped the counter as he watched Danny head to the freezer. “I’m not sure my stomach can handle dessert right now.”

“OK.” Danny shrugged and opened the freezer door. Steve watched as he moved something around in the door, which was not where Steve had put the ice cream. As the door closed, Steve could see what was hanging from Danny’s finger.

“Oh shit.” He’d wondered if Danny planned to clamp his now-enlarged nipples but hadn’t thought he’d freeze them first. The end of the clamps were encased in rubber, but they would still be ice cold.

Danny took hold of the screws on each one and spread the cold chain across Steve’s belly as he leaned up to kiss him, pressing the cold metal against his bare skin. Steve’s breathing increased as Danny attached them behind his nipples at the areola, tightening them enough so they wouldn’t pull off easily. This left the deep-red and thick nipples pushed forward. Danny licked at them, giving Steve the contrast of Danny’s hot mouth with the frozen metal of the clamps. As he licked, Danny unbuckled Steve’s belt, opening his fly, and reaching a hand inside.

“Wow, you’re actually wet.” He fingered the large wet spot on one side of Steve’s boxer-briefs. “Hmm, that’s gonna be a fun challenge some day.” He said absently, more to himself than to Steve as he removed the cargo pants the rest of the way.

Danny stroked him slowly in a tight fist and Steve gripped the counter harder, struggling to hold off. He’d been hard and leaking most the evening, starting at the grocery store when he was only imagining what Danny might do.

“Danny, I’m gonna...” Danny let go.

“Can’t have that, can we.” Danny pulled on the chain that connected the two clamps, causing it to bounce, then flicked the nipples with his tongue. Steve closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It wasn’t the sensation he wanted but knew better than to say anything. These were the moments of patience Danny kept trying to teach him and he would get through it.

Finally, Danny unclipped one side, leaving the chain to hang, and suckled. That was the feeling Steve craved and he could only moan at the pleasure of it. His nipple felt sore and bruised, but the pulsing motion of Danny’s tongue against the the bottom of his nipple as the top was rocked against the roof of Danny’s mouth, over and over as if drinking an imaginary elixir, flooded his body with endorphins and fluid dripped from his cock.

“Fuck, Danny, Oh my god...Ugh.” Steve couldn’t help thrusting, though Danny paid him little mind and stayed locked on to his pectoral with intensity that was unrelenting. Danny kept working him with his mouth while unclamping the other nipple, massaging it with his fingers for a moment, then switching sides. Steve’s stream of babble renewing its intensity and Danny smiled in spite of himself and suckled harder.

Steve ran his fingers along Danny’s face and into his hair, overcome a strange feeling of wanting his partner to stay just like this...because it was comforting...almost nurturing...his brain shut down. It was too much and he couldn’t let himself go there.

“Please, Danno, I need...” Danny let go, replacing his mouth with his free hand, continuing to stroke and pull at his nips and Steve hung his head, “Oh god, I...Danny...” he was begging now.

Danny let go. “OK. You’ve done so well tonight. Hang on.” Steve watched him head back to the freezer, pull out the coconut ice cream and grab a spoon. Steve hoped he wasn’t planning on feeding him again, mostly because he really was too full, but he said nothing.

Standing in front of him, Danny opened the container and scraped the spoon across the top, curling a thick ring of ice cream. He watched in fascination as Danny put the spoon to his own lips and then dropped to his knees. The cold dragged along the underside of his cock as Danny sucked him down, the heat of his mouth cooling agains the frozen dessert.

Steve could not control himself anymore. He thrust a few times and came hard. He watched as Danny struggled to swallow both his cum and the ice cream, which was hotter than anything he’d ever seen.

“You OK?” Steve asked as Danny stood up.

“Yeah. You went off a little faster than I expected is all.”

“Sorry.” Steve said sheepishly.

“Forget it. I’d strung you out pretty good. Should have considered that.” Danny went to the sink and wet a paper towel with a tiny bit of hand soap and water. Bringing it back, he wiped Steve clean, not wanting to leave him with the sticky residue of semen and sugar.

“Bed or the couch?” Danny asked.

“Bed.” Steve answered as he grabbed his pants off the floor and picked up his shirt from the counter where he’d tossed it earlier. Danny returned the ice cream to the freezer and followed him.

Taking a moment to use the bathroom, Steve looked at himself in the mirror. The swelling on his chest was mostly gone, a bit surprised by how quickly it had receded. It was still tender though, as he touched them with the pads of his fingers. His nipples hardened at his touch and he thought again about what Danny had said regarding piercing them. He wondered how they would feel after. It wasn’t a question for now because he wasn’t ready to leave the Navy for good, but it definitely gave him something to think about.

When he came out of the bathroom, Danny was lying on his bed, naked, hard, and with Steve’s challenge coin laying on his abdomen. Steve picked it up and flipped it across his fingers. He’d taught himself to do that as a kid after watching Top Gun.

“You’re giving this back before you’ve....”

“That’s your reward. You’re in charge now. How...or if...I come is up to you.”

“Oh, I’m not going to deny myself the gift of hearing you come apart.” Steve assured him as he crawled over Danny. “Many, many, times.”


	24. S3: 20 Olelo ‘Peo (The Promise)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jealousy of the living is one thing, but how does Danny compete with a ghost? Especially when he doesn’t know he’s doing it.

“Whatcha doin?” Steve asked, leaning in the doorway to Danny’s office.

“Emailing Gabby.” Danny said, not looking up from his computer.

“Really? How’s she doing? How’s San Francisco?”

“Uh, San Francisco was so great that it became Morocco.”

“Seriously, when was that?”

“About two months ago.”

“You never said anything.” Steve crossed his arms, face serious.

“Why are you giving me that look? What difference does it make to you where she is? She’s not here, which is the only circumstance I would need to update you about.”

Steve sat down. “She doesn’t know. About us, I mean.”

“No. Why would I tell her? When she left, Catherine didn’t know either.”

“If Gabby came back, would you tell her?”

“She’s not coming back. She’s gone from one grant to another and clearly she is very good at what she does because everyone seems to want her to do it, so it’s not a question worth answering.”

“It’s not?” Steve could feel himself get upset but was trying to temper it.

“No. If for some reason that were to ever happen, we would have that discussion then and not here.”

Steve’s jaw clenched with annoyance. “Fine. Catherine and I have an op, should be back in a week.” He stood to leave.

“What? That’s it. Where are you going?”

“It’s classified. And apparently we’re back to not needing to tell one another everything, so yeah. I have wheels up at 0700.” He walked to his office and shut the door.

“Fuck!” Danny cursed before getting up to follow. He pushed open the door to Steve’s office, letting it slam back against the wall.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“What is wrong with me? I’m following your lead, pal. You don’t answer my questions, I don’t answer yours.”

“No! That is not what is happening. The question you asked is not even a question. It’s a...a...theoretical hyperbole.”

“Hyperbole? That word doesn’t mean what you think it means.” Steve said with angry sarcasm.

“I meant hypothesis. Fuck you.” Danny’s brain was firing hot and he was not in the mood for Steve to play ‘who’s smartest’ right now. “My thing is entirely different from your thing. Where are you going? How much danger will you be in? When are you expected back? These are things I have a right to know.”

“It is the same thing and the fact that you can’t say to me that if Gabby came back to Hawai’i that you would tell her about us is proof that you **don’t** have the right to know when I leave or where I go, because there’s clearly not any ‘us’ as far as you’re concerned. And since you never worry about me anyway, I don’t see why you care.”

“Oh, so we’re back to this.” Danny threw up his hands and paced.

“You disobeyed me! I told you to stay in the shop and let Kono get the shot, but no, you have to go running into the street, wide open where Stoner could have killed you.”

“He was shooting at you! And you expect me to just let that happen?”

“Yes I do! Kono is our sniper. She was the one who could make the shot as long as he wasn’t looking at her. And she is the one who took him down, a fact you seem to keep forgetting. I had the situation handled.”

“I was giving you cover, which is not only my job, but not even remotely what you are actually upset about, so can you please stop trying to make it seem like all of this is anything other than your own fear? The same fear that is making you cycle back to this stupid argument for the fifth time in three weeks.”

“Oh, so you’re gonna psychoanalyze me now? This is going to be fun.”

“I’m trying to have a real discussion here so you will stop flying off the handle with me every five seconds.”

“Fine. Answer my question first. Are you going to tell Gabby about us?”

“No.”

“Then we are done here.” Steve sat down and opened his laptop.

“Steve...”

Without looking at him, Steve said, “So help me God, Danny, get out of my office right now or I will not be responsible for my actions.”

The windows of his office shook with the slam of the door.

5050505050

The Camaro pulled alongside the wall by his favorite spot: The one he escaped to when he needed to think.

Things had been rough with Steve since the Stoner case. That one had brought up a lot of past guilt for his partner and Danny had noticed in the weeks since, Catherine was at Steve’s place more and more. He’d hoped taking Steve to the ProBowl might bring some balance back, but even that had ended up tilting Catherine’s way, which wasn’t her fault but still bugged him. Just a few days ago, Steve had used his “Book ‘em” phrase with Kono and it had actually hurt his feelings because that was their thing, the way Steve would tell him he loved him when people were around.

> _”When I say ‘book’ em Danno’, it’s like a term of endearment.”  
>  “Do it every day. I like it.”_

A dark part of him wondered if Steve’s increased time with Cath was him hoping she might get pregnant. He didn’t believe Steve was the kind of guy who would intentionally try to do that without Catherine agreeing, but birth control wasn’t failsafe and once they had agreed to be open, the three of them had taken the steps to ensure that Steve could have condom-free sex with each of them safely. But laws of percentages meant that more time with Catherine meant the possibility was increased. Sometimes the universe makes choices for you and maybe Steve was hoping fate would give him what he wanted.

His phone buzzed and when he looked at it, the name was the last one he expected. He wanted to ignore it, but couldn’t bring himself to do that.

“Hello Catherine.”

“Hey, Danny. How’re you doing?”

“I’m...uh...” he didn’t know how to answer that so he didn’t. “What’s up?”

“I’m calling to tell you about the mission Steve and I are leaving on in the morning and to give you my Sat-phone number.”

“OK. I thought this was classified.”

“Parts of it are. I can’t tell you specifically where, but we will be attached to a carrier in the South China Sea. The mission is mostly diplomatic, low risk, but territory is hostile. Texting you my Sat number now.”

“Why are you doing this?” Danny was grateful but hated it all the same.

“Because what is going on with Steve right now isn’t really about you, but it also kind of is. When he told me that you two had a big fight, I read between the lines.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Has Steve told you about Freddie?”

“Freddie who? No, I don’t know anything about Freddie.”

“He went through Annapolis and SEAL training with Steve. He was his best friend. Closer than that, really. The way he used to talk about Freddie...it was the same way he talks about you now.”

“Were he and Freddie...” Danny let the question hang.

“I don’t think so. I know Freddie was married and he has a daughter, so that makes me think no. Steve never said, though I don’t think he would have told me about you either, if I hadn’t opened that dresser drawer.”

“OK. Why, uh, why are you telling me this?”

“The last mission Steve had...before his father died...that’s when Steve lost Freddie. For three years, he’s been pressuring Pacific Command to negotiate for the return of Freddie’s body.”

“Shit.” Danny said under his breath. His whole body shivered with sadness for Steve and frustration that his partner couldn’t just tell him this. This meant Steve had lost his best friend and his father close together. Danny’s heart broke and he couldn’t say anything.

“I don’t know why he’s never told you about this, but he’s really struggling and it’s obvious to me that he’s taking a good deal of that out on you.”

“I don’t know either, but thank-you. This...this helps explain a lot.”

“Danny, his head is already gonna be a mess for this op. I need you to...I don’t want him feeling like he’s lost you too. If something goes south and he needs to dig deep, I’m...I’m not enough.”

“Yeah, OK. I’ll fix it. But Cath? You’re enough. He loves you.”

“That is kind of you to say, but we both know it’s not true. I’ll call you with updates when I can.”

“OK. Be safe.”

“Roger that.” She ended the call.

Danny opened up his GPS and went to the app Five-0 used to keep track of one another. It was an un-written agreement between them that they didn’t use it the way Danny was now, but he needed to find Steve and he didn’t expect him to answer his calls right now. Steve was at home. Or at least his phone was.

5050505050

Danny let himself in and heard the shower going upstairs. Not wanting to startle Steve, he called his name as he entered his bedroom.

“Danny?” Steve called back from the shower. Danny walked into the bathroom.

“Yeah, babe.”

“What are doing here?” Steve’s voice was even and tight.

“You’re about to go away and I don’t want you to go with us like this.”

The water turned off and Danny passed him a towel through the curtain. When Steve opened it, the towel was around his waist and he stepped out on to the mat and crossed his arms.

“Can I get dressed first?” His whole body was hostile

“Babe, please.” Danny took a step towards him, cautiously. Steve held his ground but wouldn’t look at him. Danny was in front of him now and he placed a hand on Steve’s damp cheek. “I love you, OK? I love you so much it hurts sometimes. I need you...Let me in. Please.”

Danny gently tugged at Steve’s wrists, uncrossing his arms and pressed his body against him, kissing his chest and up to his neck, then he locked his hand behind Steve’s head, looking up at him. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Steve asked, his hands were on Danny’s hips, but for balance, not in affection.

“For making you doubt. I’m not telling Gabby about us because I don’t know how. It has nothing to do with you or how I feel about you. It’s just me and my hang-up. And since she’s not here, I figure why not avoid something I don’t now how to talk about even with Kono or Chin, who are the best friends I have besides you. But I absolutely know I love you and I will tell you, I will show you...whatever you need, I will give to you. Today, tomorrow...”

Steve suddenly pushed him back against the wall, lips and tongue forcing their way into his mouth and Danny surrendered fully, letting Steve take what he wanted. Rough hands yanked his dress shirt up into his armpits and then flexed and gripped him all over his bare back and chest and Steve’s tongue kept plundering his mouth.

Steve broke away, but kept his left hand firmly against his chest, pinning him to the wall. Danny could see dark waves of fire in those blue eyes and felt a shudder. He’s seen that look before, but not usually directed at him.

“Take ‘em off.” Steve commanded, as he opened one of the drawers in the vanity and pulled out a small tub of Vaseline. The fact that Steve was not willing to go get the bottle of lube from his bedside table sent a message all it’s own.

Danny kept his back to the wall as he unbuckled his belt and let his pants and boxers fall to the floor. He kicked off his shoes and stepped out of them. Steve thumbed off the top of the tub, sending it flying. He used two fingers to scoop out some of the thick, oily substance, his left hand still holding Danny firmly in place. With his thumb, he pulled at the edge of the towel, causing it to float away. Danny looked down as Steve coated himself in a thick layer of the jelly and then grabbed the back of Danny’s thighs, sliding him up the wall, spreading his legs. Steve thrusted upwards, jabbing at him until Danny tilted his hips enough for Steve’s cock to find its place and he sank in full, causing Danny to cry out.

Leaning in, Steve placed his forehead against Danny’s and pounded into him hard. Danny panted and closed his eyes, letting Steve dole out his punishment for as long as it would take. And it took a while. By the time Steve’s orgasm flooded him, Danny was sore. He was sure he had some abrasion against his lower back from where his bare skin scraped against the textured drywall and bruises on his thighs from where Steve still gripped him.

As his breathing slowed, Steve seemed to come back to himself and he looked at Danny as he lowered his legs and stepped back slightly.

“You OK?” Danny asked.

Steve’s face was a mixture of emotions like he was fighting an internal battle. “Did I hurt you?” Steve placed a tentative hand on Danny’s upper arm.

“No. No, I’m fine.” Danny pulled his shirt down, in case his back looked worse than it felt. He needed to preserve the lie for Steve’s sake. These were the moments he understood just how fucked up their relationship could be. They both carried the weight of real pain and used one another this way as a form of release that neither of them would ever do with a woman. But that didn’t mean it was exactly healthy. Or that they would stop.

“C’mere.” Danny wrapped his arms around Steve again and pulled him into a hug.

“I’m going to Korea.” Steve held Danny tight.

“Please be careful.”

“There’s more, but I can’t...I can’t talk about it right now. When I get back, I will. I promise. But I can’t now.”

“When you’re ready. I trust you.” Danny assured him.

“We, uh, we should get cleaned up. Vas tends to get everywhere.”

“Yeah, I know. Mind if I take a quick shower?” Danny asked.

“Not unless I can join you.”

“Aren’t your hands still pruny from the last one?”

“SEALs love the water.” Steve went over and turned the tap on again. Danny waited for him to get in first before unbuttoning his shirt. He glanced back to see how bad his back looked, but it was just red, so he relaxed and stepped in.

Steve pulled the shower nozzel off and brought it foreword so it rained warm water over Danny, but when the spray hit his back he flinched a bit. Steve looked at him more closely.

“Fuck, Danny, I asked you...”

“Stop it, I’m fine.”

“Hold this.” Steve handed the shower head to Danny and turned him so he could see better. The skin was red and scraped but wasn’t broken. Steve breathed a sigh of relief. He grabbed the body wash and poured a large amount in his hand, not wanting to use even a wash cloth against his skin. Rubbing Danny’s back gently, he then brought his hands lower and soaped up Danny’s ass and between his legs. Vaseline was still the most comfortable lube there was, but it was a bitch to clean up (oil versus water), which is why they didn’t use it generally.

Steve took the nozzle back from Danny and rotated it to a more gentle setting to rinse him off before re-attaching it to the wall. Danny turned around and faced him.

“You always take good care of me.”

“You take good care of me too.”

“I’m not going anywhere Steve. I mean that.”

Steve’s eyes grew red. “It’s not you leaving that scares me, y’know. It’s that you’ll be taken from me.”

“I’m not the one about to head into a DMZ. But you don’t see me getting mad at you about it.”

Steve gave him a pained grin. “Not today, anyway.”

“Yeah, not today.”

Steve moved them so they traded places, letting the warm spray cascade over them as he sank to his knees and drew Danny’s cock into his mouth, sucking and licking him to full hardness. He took his time, wanting to make up for before, hoping Danny would understand. He closed his eyes and memories of Freddie paraded through his head. Danny was more than Freddie had been, but the ache of his loss was still so raw.

Danny softly ran his thumb across Steve’s cheekbone, wiping away a tear. “You feel so good, Steve. So good.” He kept speaking loving words as he caressed him. Steve drank the tenderness into his soul. When Danny came, he pulled off and wrapped his arms around Danny’s thighs, face buried in his belly, and cried.

5050505050

Danny hung up the phone. He was deeply grateful to Catherine for keeping him updated. They’d agreed that he wouldn’t talk to Steve directly while he was away, so she was his only line of communication for how Steve was doing.

After work yesterday, he’d stopped by the McGarrett home to check on Doris, which had been one of the things Steve had asked him to do. Doris was packing and told him she’d found a place to rent. Danny was not to thrilled that she’d decided to move out while Steve was out of the country and told her so. The rest of the conversation went about as well as any of their others had, with Doris making references to him not being her son-in-law and Danny’d left rather than say things he couldn’t take back.

Now he had to sit and wait for word they’d taken off. Until then, he had to look for distractions.

~~~~~~~~

Steve called into the command phone, not to Danny’s cell, to tell the team he was delayed. Danny was glad Chin stepped in to finish the call. He was afraid of his own voice right now.

~~~~~~~

**Just landed at Pearl. Need to do some things with the body first, then he’ll be on his way home. Meet him there.**

**OK. You coming too?**

**Nope. He’s all yours.**

**Thanks.**

**Heads up that he’s pretty fragile.**

**I’ll be careful.**

“Who you texting?”

“Danny.” She said, sliding her phone into her pocket.

“You tell him we’re back?”

“Yes. And for him to meet you at your place.”

“Cath, I...”

She took his hand. “He needs to see you. And you need to be with him. He needs to understand why you picked him.”

“I didn’t pick him. He showed up at my house and pointed a gun at my face.”

“And less than 24 hours later you made him your partner. None of that was a coincidence.”

“Jamison got Danny assigned to my father’s case because she thought no one would talk to a haole, which was true. She wasn’t counting on him actually being a good detective.”

“Steve, Danny came into your life at the exact moment you needed him most. And you’ve clung to him ever since.”

“He’s nothing like Freddie. That’s not...”

Tears fell down her cheeks. “He’s not. He’s better. He loves you back.”

Steve wrapped her in a hug. “What would I do with you, Catherine?”

5050505050

When Steve walked in the door, Danny was sitting on the couch, nursing a beer, watching TV. Danny stood up and clicked off the TV as Steve dropped his duffel beside the couch.

“You made it back in one piece.” Danny observed.

Steve took the beer from his hand and drank all that was left. He then wove his fingers into Danny’s and pulled him along, upstairs and into his bedroom. Steve didn’t ask if Doris was home and didn’t care. He shut his door and began to undress Danny, who mirrored his actions by unbuttoning Steve’s camos.

Steve offered no words and for once, Danny felt no need to fill the silence. Once naked, Steve backed Danny to the bed and pushed him gently down. Danny scooted to the middle of the bed, waiting. Steve climbed on top of him, propped up on his elbows, head tilted as he looked into Danny’s eyes. “You saved me.”

“When?”

“The moment we met.”

Danny ran his fingers through Steve’s short, dark curls. “You saved me too.”

Steve’s eyebrows furrowed. “When?”

“The moment we met.”

Danny kissed him and they spoke no more worlds for the next couple hours, choosing to communicate only with their bodies.


	25. S3: 21 Imi Loko Ka ‘Uhane (Seek the Spirit Within)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The advance-man sent by the Savanah Walker Show has an agenda that forces Steve and Danny to finally come out to the team...and Rachel.

Steve hung up his desk phone and sat, wondering how they were going to do this. He’d argued himself blue in the face but Denning refused to listen, so now they were going to be stuck with this camera crew. And every member of team was going to hate it. He hated it. They needed a game plan.

Walking out to the command table, he used his fingers to make a loud whistle. He could see each of them in their offices give him a look like he’d lost his mind, but it was effective. Every one of them got up.

“Are we, uh, are we cattle now? Or sheepdogs?” Danny groused.

“There’s an intercom on every phone you know.” Chin gave a smile.

“It was also effective because all us are standing here.” Kono said to the others.

“I just got off the phone with the Governor. As a way of providing good PR for the Task-force, we are being featured on the Savanna Walker show.”

They all erupted at once, shouts of “No way.” “That show is for old ladies.” “We’re not circus freaks.” And more. He let them rant until they tired out.

“When you’re all finished....” Steve waited another bit. “There is no argument you can make to me that I’ve not already tried on Denning. This is happening and we’ve been asked to be polite and helpful. You will say ‘Please’ and ‘Thank-you’ and all the stuff your grandmothers taught you. If we’re lucky, there won’t be anything worth investigating. If we get a case, we have to be by the book and I believe our best option is to be as boring as possible.

“When will this start?”

“Next Thursday. They will follow us for a week. Show will air in 6 weeks.”

“Thursday, that’s too bad. Much as I’d love to be on TV, Grace’s cheerleading semi-finals start next Thursday, so I won’t be here.”

Kono jumps in, “If Danny gets out, then I’m submitting now for leave. I have three weeks stored.”

Steve had to shut this down. “All leave or requests for days off are hereby canceled and revoked. Every one of you will show up for work that Thursday like normal or I will personally track your ass down and drag you in.”

They all glared at him. “Think of this as a chance for team building.”

“How do you figure that, Genius?” Danny asked.

“We all work best when we have a common enemy. Remember. Polite, but boring.”

5050505050

A 30-something man, wearing pressed slacks, a pink, short-sleeve buttoned shirt, a pair of sunglasses on his head, and a messenger bag draped across one shoulder entered the main doors and stood outside just outside of Danny’s office, looking around. From his desk he called out, “Can I help you?”

“Sure can. I’m looking for Commander Steve McGarrett.”

“Who’s askin’?”

The guy held out a darkly tan arm with a thick gold chain around his wrist, business card in his fingers. “Troy McEnney. I’m an Associate Producer for the Savanah Walker Show. I’m here to do some advance work and am supposed to talk to Commander McGarrett. And you are?”

“Detective Williams.” Danny said curtly. “Stay right there.”

He picked up his desk phone and punched in a couple numbers. Troy could hear when the Commander picked up. “If you wanna talk dirty, you should call my cell, babe.”

Troy raised an eyebrow and Danny pushed the phone closer to his ear, “Commander there is someone here from the TV show who wants to see you.”

“Great.” Steve said in a way that did not at all convey greatness. “Send him back.”

Danny hung up and pointed. “Corner office.”

“Lovely to meet you, Detective.” He said with a hint of flirtation as he held a hand out. Danny looked at the hand and then at Troy but didn’t shake it. “I wouldn’t keep him waiting.”

Troy tilted his head, curious. He headed to the Commander’s office and knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

“Good afternoon Commander. I’m Troy McEnney. My assistant should have called you to let you know I was coming.”

“He did. Please, sit down.”

“Thanks. And let me offer my gratitude to you and your team for allowing us access. The State of Hawai’i has benefitted from your work for three years now and people are curious to know about the men and women who serve on this task force.”

“Well, that’s where we disagree. The people care about what we do, not who we are. And they shouldn’t. We do our job and we do it well. The rest isn’t important.”

“You’re right. We do disagree. People see your work, true. They also see headlines. Headlines that one week say you murdered Governor Jamison and another week say you didn’t. Or that Lieutenant Kelly is both taking bribes and also a grieving widower. Then there are the constant rumors of excessive use of force that never quite seem to end up in court or before a review board. Governor Denning has done some work to quiet down your “immunity and means” to the public, but I don’t believe for a minute that you aren’t still operating under such wide permissiveness.”

Steve stared hard at him. “What is your point?”

“My point is this is your golden opportunity for this task force to show themselves to be the honorable, dedicated, fair, law enforcement agency you want to believe yourselves to be. You’d be amazed at how much the public will overlook when they’ve decided to care about you and your story. About your family, your history,” he glanced back towards Danny’s office, “who you love...”

“I’m not the story.”

“You are now. And whether this show portrays you and your team as the heroes of Hawai’i, or it’s biggest problem, is entirely up to you.”

“So the truth is irrelevant. Is that what you’re saying?”

Troy leaned back, draping an arm across the corner of the chair, studying him. “I’m not a journalist. I’m a television producer. Truth is always a matter of which lens you look through.”

“What is it you want?”

“An hour with each of your team. I want to get to know you and them. This will frame the questions and direction Savanah will take with you during filming. You play nice with us, we play nice with you.”

“Fine. Be here tomorrow at 9. You’ll start with me and then I’ll let you talk to them.”

“Detective Williams didn’t seem too busy at the moment. I’d like to get started right away.”

“Tomorrow is soon enough.”

Troy leaned forward. “Commander, when you have two suspects, do you interview them together or apart?”

“Apart.” Steve’s jaw tensed, knowing exactly where this was going.

“Right. You do that because you don’t want them to have time to collaborate on a lie or to change their story based on what they hear the other saying. I’d like to speak to Detective Williams now, please.”

“Danny!” Steve called out. Whatever this guy was fishing for, he knew Danny wouldn’t give it to him. He silently cursed himself for flirting with Danny on the phone just now because that is probably what got this shark smelling blood.

When he came to the door, Steve knew instantly that Danny was on high alert, which was good. “What’s up?”

“Mr. McEnney wants about an hour of your time. Do you have to pick up Grace?”

“Uh, no. It’s her mom’s day to do that.” Danny leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms. Steve knew he didn’t have Grace today, but he asked as a way to imply distance between them.

“Are you willing to talk with him? It’s about the show.” Steve asked, letting the producer know that he was not going to force any of his team to do this.

Danny sat in the other chair. “Sure. Go ahead.”

Troy was not at all blind to the power struggle going on and he was determined to win. Smiling at Danny he said, “How about we head to fish bar across the street? Studio’s buying.”

Danny smiled back. “I’m not a big fish eater. I prefer a good steak, myself. And since there’s not a good steak place in walking distance, how ‘bout you just ask your questions and I’ll do my best.”

“You two are partners right?”

Danny looked at Steve, who spoke up. “I divide my team into pairs for safety. Detective Williams is my partner. Lieutenant Kelly and Officer Kalakaua are also partners.”

“Yeah, I actually knew that.” He pulled open his messenger bag and pulled out two sheets of photo stills and laid them on Steve’s desk; six to eight proofs on each page. Photos were from outside the Palace and by Kamekona’s Shrimp Truck, with some photos circled.

“Production begins by sending out location scouts to review areas for camera angles, blocking objects or natural barriers, access for equipment vans, etc. We take thousands of photos over several weeks. As I reviewed them I noticed some interesting things.”

Steve drew the photos closer. “You were spying on my team?” His voice rose along with his anger.

“Not at all. Most of the photos have no one in them at all. But these are locations you and your team frequent, so you ended up in some of them. And even in photos with all of you, it’s apparent that your team splits into two pairs. But if you look, there is a clear difference.”

Danny stood so he could look down at the pictures over Steve’s shoulder. It was obvious what the producer was referring to. In every picture with Chin and Kono, they are walking or standing a few feet apart. Steve and Danny are always inches apart. In one, they are standing by the Shrimp truck and Steve has his hand on Danny’s shoulder and Danny’s hand is at Steve’s back. It was more likely that had been a brief touch, but the photo freezes it in time, making it look much more intimate than it had felt to either of them.

Danny looked at Steve. “Fucking tape measure strikes again.” He said quietly.

“I have no interest in outing anybody. But from a PR standpoint, there are a lot of folks who would see Five-0 in a more positive way if we highlighted your diversity. And maybe being hostile with me isn’t in the team’s best interest.”

“Troy, right? It’s Troy?” Danny asked, leaning against the desk, back to Steve. The producer nodded.

“You know what I do for a living, Troy?”

Troy tilted his head and gave a smarmy smile. “You’re a police officer.”

Danny grinned and looked back at Steve. “Police officer. That’s cute. He knows things.” Steve smiled and nodded.

“I’m actually a Detective Sergeant assigned to the most elite investigative unit in the country. That means not only do I have access, but I have the skills and experience to crawl so far up the asshole of your life that I can find every tax you ever evaded, every girl or boy you ever got drunk and went too far with, every drug pusher you ever bought from, every exam you ever cheated on. You think you can blackmail me for a dumb-ass talk show? Go ahead and give it your best shot. And then you will learn exactly how much of your sorry-ass little life I can burn to the fucking ground.” Danny stared at Troy until the producer broke his gaze and then he stood up.

“I think that’s about as much an advance interview as you need.” Turning to Steve he said, “I’m gonna head out.”

“Have a good night.” Steve said evenly and watched Danny leave.

Looking at Troy he said, “Show up at nine tomorrow and you’ll get your sit-downs, even with Danny. But I hope you realize now who you’re dealing with. I suggest you consider...alternate tactics.” He handed the photo proofs back to Troy, who accepted them with some sheepishness.

Troy swallowed hard. “Until tomorrow, Commander.”

“Bye, now.” Steve stood and watched him until he’d left out the main doors.

Steve pulled out his phone and texted the team’s group chat:

**Everyone report at 0730 tomorrow. We have some important things to discuss.**

5050505050

Chin, Kono, and Danny stood around the command table a bit bleary-eyed. This was earlier than any of them normally got to work.

“Where’s boss-man?” Kono asked Danny with a yawn. “Didn’t he come in with you?”

“Ah, no. He told me to meet here, which meant I got to drive my own car, so I didn’t complain.”

“Anyone know why he called us in so early?” Chin asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I think it’s...” Danny was interrupted by Steve coming through the door with a carrier of coffees and a white bag.

“You bought us coffee? Oh, God. What’s happened?” Kono asked.

Steve set the tray and bag down. “Nothing’s happened. I made you all come in early, least I can do is caffeinate you.” Steve read the side of each cup, passing them out.

“You actually remember our drink orders?”

Steve shrugged, “Yeah. And there’s malsadas in the bag.” Danny pulled one out and passed the bag to Kono.

“OK. So the show’s gotten a bit more complicated than I first thought.” Kono and Chin both groaned. Danny observed everyone silently.

“One of the Associate Producers will be here at 9 for a sit-down with each of you.”

“Guy’s a real schmuck.” Danny said. Kono and Chin looked at him.

“Enough from the peanut gallery.” Steve answered.

“What? He is. I know used car salesmen in Jersey with more integrity.” Steve rolled his eyes and continued.

“What Danny is referring to is that as part of the pre-production, they scouted locations; outside here at the Palace and Kamekona’s truck, maybe more. They took photos, some of which have us in them.”

Chin set his coffee down. “Public spaces they can do that. Are you saying they may pictures of us from our house or were following us?”

“I don’t think so but I can’t say for sure. Still, they had some pictures of Danny and I that...the show may try to work an angle that pushes us front and center.”

“Pictures of what exactly?” Kono asked.

“Not like we’re kissing or anything, but enough they could a paint a picture.” Danny said.

“And since we have never had this discussion as a team, I decided it was time.” He looked at Chin and Kono. “I know you both have had suspicions and you’ve let our private life be private, which I appreciate. But I’m opening the floor to any and all questions, concerns, feelings...whatever you need to say, say. There will be no repercussions.”

“So you are sleeping together.” Chin stated.

“Yes.” Steve answered.

“How does Catherine fit in to this? Does she know?” Kono asked, a bit defensively.

“She knows. Look, I’ve known I was attracted to both guys and women since I was a teenager. I’ve held that loosely for a long time. Both Danny and Catherine are in my life and we are open with each other about it.”

Kono looked at Danny. “You’re really OK?” She asked softly.

Danny took in a deep breath. “Yeah. I’m OK. We, uh, we each fit a different part of Steve’s life and for now, I’m OK with that.”

“For now. What happens when you stop being OK with it?” She pressed him.

“Then Steve and I will have a talk. I know it’s hard to understand from the outside. I’m inside it and don’t always understand, but seeing as how this is all kinda new for me...I’m trying it out. And it’s working alright so far.”

“What about Gabby?” Chin asked.

“Gabby’s not an issue.” Danny shrugged.

“You broke it off with her?”

“No, I haven’t. She’s in Africa, so...” Danny drank his coffee, eyes still locked on Chin’s, watching his facial muscles tick.

“Go ahead and say what you want to say.” Danny was calm, though he felt nervous inside.

“I don’t think that’s right. I’ve come to terms with you and Steve, and if Catherine is ok, then who am I to judge it. But the minute you start stringing someone along...that’s not right.”

“I agree. But this also isn’t the kind of thing you talk about in an email, right? If she ever manages to come back to the Bishop, I will talk with her. But for now, I’m basically a glorified pen pal anyway.” Chin nodded, accepting that answer.

“Anything else you want to know?” Steve asked. They gave no response, so he went on. “We’re a team. If you want to talk about this more another time or if you have anything you feel unsure about, ask. Neither of us has any plans to bring this to work more than we do already. We’re not advertising it, but we don’t want it to feel like a secret from you two.

“Now, for these interviews, presume that if it’s been in the press or available through public disclosure, they know about it. Keep the interview professional: where you studied, work experience, why you chose law enforcement as a career... It’d also be good to offer something personal that you’re willing throw out as interesting but might steer them away from the more salacious things. Doesn’t mean they won’t ask, but it gives them another road to follow. You got me?”

“You think they’re really trying to go after us?”

“I don’t think they will. Danny had your back there already.”

“What’d you do?” Chin asked with a smile.

“Nothin’.” Danny shrugged. “I simply explained my skill set in small words he could understand.”

“Sounds like I missed a primo BAMF!Danny moment.” Kono laughed.

“Excuse me? A what?” Danny raised is eyebrows at her.

“BAMF. Don’t you go on-line?” Kono kept smiling at him.

“Not unless I have to. What is BAMF?”

Chin gave him a big smile. “Even I know this one, brah. B-A-M-F. Bad-Ass Motherfucker.” Steve laughed now too.

“BAMF!Danny mode is my favorite.” Kono said.

“She’s right. It is pretty hot, babe.” Steve added.

“There is something deeply deranged about every single one of you.” Danny said, pointing his finger at all fo them. “Just wait until you meet him and tell me you don’t wanna punch him a little.”

Steve brought them back to the point. “Alright. Our game plan of ‘polite but boring’ still exists, but I want you to each take the next hour to put together a biography for yourselves and a couple personal stories you’re willing to offer up as flashbangs. I’m gonna have him start with me, then Chin, Kono, and Danny last. If we get a case, I will start it and you can join as you finish. Any questions?”

“Thanks for the macchiato, boss.” Kono toasted him and headed to her office.

“Ditto.” Chin said and headed for his.

Steve looked at Danny. “It was time.”

“Long past actually. You did good though.”

“If this goes sideways, you’re gonna want to tell Rachel.”

“Yeah. I, uh, I asked her to meet me for lunch today.”

“OK. Text me if you need anything.”

“I will.” Danny headed to his office.

5050505050

Danny sat at Side Street waiting for his ex-wife. She wasn’t late. He was early. His interview with Troy was cold but efficient. Out of everyone on the team, his time in Hawai’i was relatively free of scandal. The only headlines he’d made has been over Rick Peterson last year and his family had been the victims. The guy didn’t bring up his relationship with Steve at all, so it was possible they’d convinced him not to go down that road. But Danny was not going to leave anything to chance when it came to someone like Troy McEnney.

He saw her enter the restaurant and stood up as she approached, giving her a brief hug and sitting after she did. Things had settled a bit between them since the custody hearing. They weren’t great, but not as bad as they could get. The waitress came to their table quickly and after they ordered, Rachel took a sip of water.

“What’s this about?”

“OK. No, ‘how are you?’ Or ‘what’s happening?’ Just diving right in.”

“Daniel, I have an hour for lunch and you wouldn’t ask me here because you suddenly decided we’re chums. So what is this about?”

He shook his head a bit, wondering not for the first time how she had such a capacity to hate him. He’d never hated her. He couldn’t imagine any circumstance where he would.

“I, uh, I have to tell you something personal and I don’t want to, but I’d rather you hear it from me than someone else.”

Her posture relaxed a bit at his obvious nervousness, showing she did care for him, at least a little. “What is it?” She asked with more gentleness.

“Uh, I’m seeing someone.”

She gave him a light smile. “I know. Grace told me about Gabriella.”

Danny nodded several times. “It’s, uh, it’s not Gabby.”

Rachel’s face looked puzzled. “You’re seeing someone else? Does Grace know?”

“Yeah, and Grace has met them but doesn’t know.”

“Them? Danny who are you talking about?”

“I’m...uh, I’m talking about Steve.”

“Steve? As in your boss and partner?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t understand. How are you seeing Steve?”

“In pretty much every way.”

Her eyes grew big. “You’re...” her voice fell to a low whisper, “Are you telling me that you’re sleeping with Steve?”

“That is what I’m telling you, yes.”

“For how long?”

He hesitated. The truth was not going to land well, but lying was worse. “For almost two years.”

“Two years.” She sat back, disbelief on her face. “You’ve been fucking your partner for two years.”

“Do you mind?” Danny said, looking around.

“Daniel, You didn’t stay here because he got arrested. You stayed because you were sleeping with him.”

“No. No, that is not true. I said almost two years. I was ready to leave Hawai’i. I was.”

“Was he?” Her face had a pained look.

“What do you mean?”

“Was he ready to have you leave? Or did he ask you to stay?”

“He never asked me to stay. I truly didn’t catch the plane that night because he was arrested. Even after, I was willing to work things out, not just for us but for the baby.”

She glanced away when he mentioned Charlie and he pretended not to notice. Looking back she asked, “Why are you telling me this now?”

“There’s this morning talk show that is going to follow Five-0 around for a week. They’re sniffing around for an angle...and they might think two homo cops is a good one.”

She tilted her head at that. “Is that...do you see yourself that way?”

“No. I mean, I’m not ashamed of how I feel for Steve. But I’ve never been big on having my personal life be public.”

“I meant, have you always felt...this way? Were you denying who you were? To yourself? To me?”

“No. I’ve never felt for a man the way I do for Steve. It’s pretty unique to him. But I have felt how I feel from pretty much the moment I met him. I just didn’t understand it for a while.”

“When are you going to tell Grace?”

“I don’t know. I’m not ready yet. Steve and I, we’re not dating exclusively right now and that is something I don’t know how to explain. He loves her and wants to be a part of her life, so it seems best for everyone for her to see him as Uncle Steve.”

“What happens if this doesn’t work out? What happens to Grace then?”

“He stays Uncle Steve. I’m not going to stop that. That’s not fair to Grace. Or him. It’d be the same if you and Stan broke up. Would you prevent him from maintaining a connection to Grace if he wanted one?

“No, I suppose not.”

“Anything else you want to ask?”

Rachel studied him. “Have you told him you love him?” She knew that was the biggest indicator of Danny’s true feelings. Anyone he truly loved, he said the words easily. If not, he could never fake them.

Danny studied her back. He too, knew this answer would betray a great deal. “Yes. I love him a lot.”

She gave him a sad smile. “I hope he deserves that.”

“He does. He’s good for me. In a lot of ways.”

The waitress arrived with their food and they chatted about the kids for the rest of lunch.

5050505050

Troy plopped down on the couch in Savanah’s large, sunlit office. Laying an arm across his eyes with a heavy sigh. She looked at him from behind her desk, jotting notes to herself for tomorrow’s show about moms who are against school dress codes.

“Oh poor baby. Was hanging out with the hot, buff, policemen all morning too much for you?”

“Their hotness might be easier to appreciate if they weren’t such assholes.”

“I told you trying to work the Five-0 sex scandal angle was a bad idea.”

He rolled to his side, “Oh, those two are totally fucking. My gaydar is fairly advanced. But the small one is scary as hell.They’re not just closeted: they will destroy us if we try to out them.”

Savanah gave him a sideways look. “And they might be right to. I’m not comfortable doing that to anyone. And that McGarrett is still active Navy...this could get him dishonorably discharged. I don’t want to do that. That’s not me.”

“They don’t want us there. It’s gonna be a hard go without some leverage.”

“Then it’s a hard go. I know you don’t come from a journalism background but I did. I’ve experience working someone who doesn’t want me around. We’ll get what we need by using what’s in front of us.”

“If you say so. But unless they get the case of the century, this show’s gonna be more dull than an episode of COPS in Poughkeepsie.”

“You know what I say, ‘God’s light shines on those who favor him.’”

“Girl, you better hope so. Or else you’re hiring me the cutest little boy-toy masseuse on the island to massage away all this stress I’m carrying from dealing with those animals.”

“It bothers you, doesn’t it. That they don’t want to come out.”

“That’s not what bothers me.” He sat up and leaned forward. “They’re cops first. Don’t forget that Savanah. And there’s not a cop anywhere, gay or straight, white or black, that doesn’t abuse their power. And these four, with their ‘immunity and means’...plus after what one of them said to me...I have no doubt at all that the rumors of excessive use of force; the beatings and maimings...I think it’s all true.”

“Alright. So we keep our eyes open. If there’s a story there, it will come out.”

“I don’t know why you set your Pollyanna faith in the Fourth Estate.”

She gave him a serious look. “I have to. The alternative is just too bleak.”


	26. S3:22 Ho’opio (To Take Captive/Stop)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny gets word of Gabrielle’s impending return to Hawai’i while also working a case that is pushing him to the brink of his darkest impulses. 
> 
> Graphic Depiction of Violence Warning:  
> In light of our continued national awakening to police brutality, I intentionally chose to describe the kind of injuries the suspect would have endured from Danny’s use of force. Obviously, Steve taking his badge is a pointless gesture and doesn’t mean anything. He still acted in the line of duty. That is not to say a grand jury would have charged him though. 
> 
> All of Danny’s actions in this episode are fantasy policing. Or should be. As such, we are free to view them as ends justifying the means. I admit that I view them that way. But I also think it’s important to acknowledge the realities of the level of violence depicted.

> _Hey Danny!_
> 
> _Thanks for sharing your mom’s puttanesca recipe. It was nice to have something that wasn’t street falafel for a change. I don’t get to cook much, but when I do, I like having those touches from home. Especially, when they’re connected to you._
> 
> _I loved seeing those pictures from Grace’s cheerleading semi-finals! She looks so happy and her squad is clearly doing some good routines. Tell her to make sure she tapes her ankles. From one gymnast to another, ankles and knees are what you have to protect._
> 
> _I have good news, well, I hope! My current project is going to wrap-up early. That’s not so great for the project but politics here in Morocco have shifted a bit, so the museum is bringing us back early. I’ll be back in Hawai’i on the 13th! I can’t wait to see you. And Grace. But mostly you. I’m even dreaming of you, which is a big deal for me because I don’t usually remember my dreams. But I remember when you’re in them._
> 
> _I hope you can meet me at the airport. I’ll email my flight itinerary once I have it. It’s OK if you can’t or if you get a case. I can always get a cab, but it will be so nice to be in your arms again.  
>  Give Grace a hug for me._
> 
> _Love,  
>  Gabby_

“Whatcha reading?” Steve asked as he came into the bathroom. Danny jumped and shoved his phone into his back pocket.

“Nothing. Just checking emails.” Danny said with a mouth full of toothpaste. He’d been reading Gabby’s message as he brushed his teeth.

“You OK? You look funny.” Steve was only wearing the cotton shorts he’d slept in last night. Danny was already dressed for work because he had to leave early to get Grace and take her to school. Steve wrapped his arms around Danny’s waist from behind and kissed his neck.

“You just startled me is all. I might need to ease off my caffeine intake. Been a bit jittery lately.”

Steve took a hold of Danny’s wrist, checking his pulse. “You’re running a bit fast.” He agreed.

“I’m not a V-8 engine.” He said, shaking his wrist out of Steve’s hand. “If my pulse is fast, it’s probably because your morning wood is sticking in the crack of my ass.”

Steve thrusted against him. “If you wish.” He gave him a lust-filled look in the mirror.

“Tempting, babe, but I gotta get Grace.”

“I know. You gotta go. Meanwhile, me and my right hand are gonna spend a little quality time thinking about you.”

“You’re an animal.” Danny slapped his chest.

“You love me.” Steve kissed him and gave him a swat on the ass as Danny left.

5050505050

 _At the tone, say what you want. If I feel like calling you back, I will._ Danny’s voicemail message echoed in Steve’s ear making his teeth clench.

“Danny, this is the third message I’ve left you.You’ve been gone for over an hour and you’re not answering your phone or texts. Call me in the next 10 minutes or I will track you down. I mean it, man. That’s an order.”

Steve tossed his phone on the console. He was resisting checking the Camaro’s GPS because he knew that Danny was running hot today and not only because of the case. Something had him going even before he left the house this morning. He was not happy with being shut out though and it was making him tense. If Danny was following a lead and not telling him...

Steve’s phone rang and he grabbed it, his heart flipping at seeing Danny’s name.

“Danny!”

“Fuck you and you orders, alright? I wasn’t ignoring you. You pulled me off the Grimes interrogation and so I went to cool down. That’s what you wanted right? So stop giving me shit.”

Steve just let the rant wash over him. He didn’t have the energy to fight. “Where are you?”

“I’m in Kahala.”

“Kahala...is Grace OK?” Steve was suddenly worried.

“Yeah, she’s fine. I...uh...I just needed to see her. That’s all. To just give her a hug and...and know she’s safe. OK? I don’t expect you to understand.”

“Hey. I understand better than you think. I know...I’m not saying that I can feel exactly the same as you. But last year, that was one of the worst days of my life too.” Steve’s voice choked. “Because I wasn’t just frantic about Grace: I didn’t know where you were either. You don’t have the market cornered on gut-wrenching fear, alright? But we have a job to do and I need you with me. Chin’s got something and we’re gonna raid in 20.”

“OK. I’m on my way.”

5050505050

Steve popped the trunk on the Camaro and opened the first aid kit. He grabbed an instant ice pack, bottle of peroxide, gauze, steri-strips and tape before closing the box. He shut the trunk and set the items on top. He then pulled his phone and called Duke.

“Aloha McGarrett.”

“Duke, I’m gonna need two blue and whites. Officers we trust. Don’t go through dispatch. 1110 Okaka Road, Makaha. Perps will be inside, one male, one female. One will need medical attention. I’m calling fire now. ”

“So you won’t be on scene?”

“Hopefully not. If Danny gets what we need, we will have to run to get Ella Bishop.”

“Understood. Meko is working Station 14 today.” Duke said, knowing what Steve needed.

“Thanks. Once we have a location, I’ll radio in for search units.”

“Copy that.” Duke said and hung up.

Steve dialed Meko’s number.

“Hey Meko.”

The paramedic sighed. “You at the Palace?”

“No. I’ll text you the address.”

“What are we looking at?”

“Multiple chest fractures, probably head trauma and organ damage.”

“Backboard and C-collar?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

Meko was quiet while he wrote something down. “So this one isn’t yours?” He asked because Steve always knew exactly the injuries he’d inflicted.

“No.”

“And you didn’t witness it?”

“No.”

“Alright. Me and Theo are on our way. Should we wait for HPD?”

“They’re on their way too. If he’s still conscious, he’s handcuffed. His wife is in the house too. No injuries to her.”

“Shit. I don’t normally ask but...”

“It’s the man who kidnapped the Bishop girl. He’s not being very forthcoming, so Danny’s loosening his tongue.”

He saw Danny walking out. “I gotta go.”

As Danny drew close he asked, “Give me the location.” Danny gave the name of the trail head Beckett gave him. Steve pulled the radio though the drivers window and called in the location to dispatch, asking for all available units to help search.

“Let me see your hands.”

Danny held out his right arm and Steve unscrewed the bottle of peroxide, took Danny by the wrist and poured it over his bleeding knuckles. Danny winced as the liquid foamed across the back of his hand. He repeated this with on Danny’s left, which was much less bloody but he’d still split the skin across his first and second knuckle.

“Don’t touch anything, just let them hang in the air.”

“I know. We gotta hurry.”

“We will, but you got blood spatter on your face and neck. Just give me a sec.” Steve poured some more peroxide on a gauze pad and wiped the blood up, putting all the gauze and wrappers in a plastic bag. He handed the rest of the gauze, steri-strips, and tape to Danny.

“You can tape up in the car.” He put the cap back on the peroxide and dropped it in the cup holder and punched the ice pack to activate it as he got inside the driver’s seat.

Danny taped his left hand easily, but his right was still bleeding too much, so he held the gauze in place, keeping pressure, holding his fingers straight out so the skin would come back together. Steve handed him the ice pack.

“Put it on top. Will slow the bleeding. How bad is he?”

“Several broken ribs, probably some organ damage. And...uh...a suborbital fracture. That’s the blow he finally gave it up. He, uh, he’s probably gonna lose his eye.”

They didn’t say anything for the rest of the ride. Once at the trail head, Steve placed Danny’s ID back on his Kevlar and slid his badge into his pocket. Danny gave the directions Beckett had given and they headed out.

5050505050

Danny finished reading Grace the next chapter in Artemis Fowl, placed the book mark and set it on the nightstand.

“Just one more!”

“It’s already after nine and you have school. No more tonight.” He pulled the covers up to her chin and leaned in to give her a kiss. His right hand got pinched against his thigh and he winced.

“Danno, are you sure you’re OK? Your hand looks really bad.”

“Of course I’m OK. I’m always OK.”

“How did you hurt your hand? Really. Did you get in a fight?”

“Yeah, Monkey. I did.”

“At school, they tell us that there is never a reason to hit anyone. When I was in first grade, I told them you hit people all the time and Miss Taylor called mom. Mom said I shouldn’t say that at school anymore.”

“Generally, yes, there’s never a good reason to hit. But sometimes, I have to.”

“Does it hurt? The people you hit. Does it hurt them?”

“It does. It hurts me too.”

“Do they look like your hand?”

“Grace, I...I know you have questions. But there are parts of my job I don’t like talking about. This is one of those times.”

“But I’m old enough! Mom lets me watch Supernatural now and they fight monsters all the time.”

“Oh, well, if I run into a vampire, I’ll be sure to call you for advice.”

“Vampire’s aren’t real. I meant that I know what blood and stuff looks like.”

“No, sweetie, you don’t. What they show on TV, it’s not real life. For one, the bad guys don’t always look like bad guys. A lot of the time, they look like someone’s dad. And the good guys, well, sometimes the good guys don’t feel so good.”

She looked at him. “Are you sad that you had to hit the man today?”

He tried to hold back a tear but it fell anyway. “Yeah. I don’t like it when I have to do what I did today.”

“Then why do you do it?”

“It’s my job. But, uh, I’m gonna be fine and you need to get some sleep, OK?”

“I love you, Danno.”

“Love you too, Monkey.”

He turned off her light and pulled the door shut. After taking a couple ibuprofen and wrapping an ice pack around his hand, he laid down on his bed. His phone rang. Gabby’s name appeared.

“Hey Gabby.”

“Danny! I’m sorry to call so late but you haven’t emailed back and I was afraid it hadn’t gone through.”

“No, I got it. Just had a bad case and been tied up.”

“Anything you can tell me about?”

“Kidnapping case. We found her though, so it ended good.”

“Whew that’s a relief. Your job is so hard.”

“So when are you flying in?”

“I should come in about 4pm on the 13th. Can you meet me?”

“Yeah, totally.”

“Danny, I know this is a bit forward, but I don’t have a rental lined up yet because we shut down early, so would it be OK if I stayed with you until I find one? I know you didn’t like me staying over when Grace was there, so if it’s a problem I totally understand.”

“No, Grace asks about you all the time. It’ll...it’ll be fine.”

“You sure? I know we’ve been apart for several months and we’d only just started to...”

“Will you stop? I said it’s fine. It will be great seeing you again.”

“I really miss you. I miss being with you...touching you.”

“Me too. It will be nice having you in the same zip code for a while.”

“Yeah, Good Night Danny.”

“Bye.”

Danny hung up and stared at the ceiling. He needed to call Steve, but just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The show does not depict Danny having any injuries to his hands following his beating of Beckett, but the fact is that if he had delivered the kind of bare-knuckled beating the show implies, he would have suffered injuries himself, so I wanted to include them.


	27. S3: 23 He Welo ‘oihana (Family Business)/24 Aloha, Malaya Pono (Farewell, And Take Care)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabby’s coming back. But then she’s not. But then she does. And Danny’s tired of being on the see-saw.

The morning after his phone call with Gabby, Danny didn’t wake up feeling much better. Both the emotional drain of having beat the shit out of Beckett the day before and and Gabby’s impending return had him twisted up. He texted Steve saying he was taking a sick day. After dropping Grace off, he went back home and crawled back into bed, pulled up an Aerosmith playlist and put on his headphones.

He’d drifted off to sleep but awoke at the sound of his apartment door closing. Maybe if he pretended to be asleep, Steve would leave. He kept his eyes closed, staying still. He felt Steve touch his forehead with the back of his hand and then Steve pulled the headphones off and spoke his name softly.

Danny opened his eyes. “What’re you doing here?”

“Let me see your hands. I want to make sure you’re not getting an infection.” Danny pulled his right hand out from under the covers and let him look.

“Looks OK. You don’t have a fever. So what’s going on?”

“I just didn’t have the energy for work today.” Danny pulled his arm back under the quilt.

Steve could hear the faint sound of Dream On coming from Danny’s headphones. “You listening to Aerosmith?”

“Yeah. It’s their Greatest Hits playlist. Helps me sleep.”

Steve walked to the bathroom, got a glass of water and a few ibuprofen. He returned, handing them to Danny.

“I already took some.”

“When?”

“When I woke up. About 7, I guess.”

“It’s 1030. Take more.” Danny sat up enough to swallow the pills.

“OK, Doc McGarrett. You know I’m not at death’s door, so can you please let me rest?” Danny pulled his headphones back on and pulled the quilt up to his chin. He closed his eyes and hoped Steve would take a hint.

Walking to the other side of the bed, Steve unclipped his belt, sliding it out and wrapping around his Sig Sauer. He placed his gun and badge on the nightstand as he sat and untied his boots. Danny felt the heat of his body behind him as one arm wrapped around his chest and the other slid under the pillow where fingers found his own.

Steve didn’t say anything, just held him. Danny’s whole body was stiff and tight, but Steve was patient. Eventually, Danny couldn’t keep his resistance up. He pulled off his headphones and turned off his music, but still didn’t say anything.

“It’s when you don’t talk that I get the most worried.” Steve said quietly. Danny thought of all the things he had to say but they all tangled in his head. Gabby, Beckett, the monster inside him who had been let out for the first time in a long while...

“Just don’t want to right now.”

“Sick day for both of us then.” Steve pulled Danny a bit closer and said softly. “I’ve got you, babe. You’re gonna be OK. I promise.”

Guilt flooded Danny’s brain but he welcomed the comfort all the same.

5050505050

They cuddled for about an hour, and made love for an hour more. Danny was still very subdued, which was really starting to concern Steve. He made them grilled cheese for lunch because that was pretty much all Danny had in his apartment. As they ate, Steve decided Danny had hidden long enough.

“Is this about the email you got yesterday?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been off since then. Who was it from?”

“Gabby.”

“She’s coming back?”

“Yeah. She’ll be back on Friday. Her project got shut down early. And,” he took a breath, “she hasn’t had time to find a place so she asked if she could stay here.”

Steve picked up a few slices of apple he’d cut for them to share.“What did you say?”

“I told her she could.” Silence hung heavy between them.

“And?” He asked finally, trying to keep his voice even.

“And so we need to talk.”

“ _We_ need to talk? Not you and Gabby, but you and I.”

“For now, yes.”

“So you called in sick today to avoid me.” Steve’s face was unreadable to him. Not angry, not sad, unreadable.

“I had a pretty fucked up day yesterday. I needed some time.”

“You did what had to be done.”

“I gave into the beast. And you let me. You encouraged it.”

The hurt on Steve’s face was very evident now. “You can’t put that on me.”

“It wasn’t you who almost beat a man to death.”

“I would have. I would have and not given it a second thought. He deserved every punch and more for what he did to Amanda, to her parents, for the life-changing trauma Ella will have forever. I wouldn’t give him a second God-damn thought. But I didn’t have to because you were right there, ready to go.”

“You don’t understand.” Danny stood up, picked up their plates and headed to his small kitchen.

“The other day, you told me that I was fighting with you because I wouldn’t talk about my own fears. You were right about that. And you’re doing it now. Not talking doesn’t work with us. It makes things worse. Talk to me, babe.”

Danny stood at the sink and closed his eyes as if praying for strength. “I don’t want to tell Gabby about us.”

Steve looked confused. “What does that have to do with yesterday?”

Danny turned to him. “Ever since Grace was born, I’ve had an image of myself of what I want to be for her. I don’t want to be the boundaries-don’t-apply-to-me cop from Jersey. I want to be a man who knows the rules and follows procedure so he can look his daughter in the eye. I want to be the faithful husband and devoted father. I want to live into that picture because without it: I become the monster.”

“And telling Gabby about us makes you a monster?” Disbelief and anger in Steve’s voice.

“No, that’s not...of course it doesn’t.”

“I want to understand, man. I’m trying.”

“I can’t do what you do, having two relationships at one time.”

“OK. You can break it off when she gets back.”

“I don’t want to do that either.”

Steve sat back, panic rising within him. “Why?”

“Because you get to run off to Korea with Catherine and I’m left here to worry, that’s why.”

Steve felt like he was being thrown in the pool with one hand tied. He needed to fight. “Babe, I was so afraid to tell Catherine. If she hadn’t found out on her own, I honestly don’t know where we would be today. In a way, having the decision taken away was a blessing. It may not be as bad as you think.”

“I’m not worried about her knowing I’m bi. It’s not that at all. And when you’re ready to be done with Catherine, I’m all in. But I don’t know how to explain this to her in a way that doesn’t make me feel like a massive asshole.”

“I don’t know that I will ever be done with Catherine.” Steve said quietly.

“And that’s your choice. This is mine.”

“So...what? That’s it? We just stop?”

“We don’t stop being partners or best friends.”

“We just stop having sex.” Steve looked at him but Danny let the statement hang in the air. “Can we not decide this today?”

“Yeah. If you want, yeah.” Danny’s every instinct in seeing the look Steve has on his face right now is to pull him close and kiss him until it goes away but also felt like he couldn’t do all this right now.

“OK. I guess I’ll go.” _Please tell me to stay._

“OK.” Danny turned on the water and grabbed a sponge to wash the fry pan Steve’d used to make lunch and waited until he heard the door close before giving in to his emotions.

5050505050

“You wanna talk about it?” Chin asked as he and Danny drove to the gym where Kono said Michael was apt to be.

“Talk about what?”

“About what’s going on between you and McGarrett. You ran out after him at HQ and you’ve hardly said a word since.”

“Sounds like Doris may be in some trouble with the Feds.”

“That’s what Catherine’s file was about?”

“Yeah.”

“And you think he’s about to do something stupid?”

“I don’t know. I think he’s getting to his breaking point with her though. I’m not sure she’s told him a solid truth since she’s been back.”

“And she doesn’t exactly go easy on him.”

“No, she doesn’t.”

“Overheard you guys talking about Gabby.”

Danny sighed. “That’s a non-issue. Gabby’s staying in Morocco.”

“But what would have happened when she had come back?”

“Look, I appreciate you being my friend here. I really do. But are you sure this is stuff you want to talk about with me?

“If you like. Once I got over the shock of it, I realized not many people can understand what our lives are like; the risks we take and the choices we face. If my partner was someone who understood all that and was someone I was attracted to...it would be difficult to not act on that.”

“Yeah, well, there’s downsides too.”

“Y’know, even if you weren’t involved with him, you have always loved him like you’re married to him. People who barely know you can see that.”

“I know. What’s going on right now has nothing to do with loving him. I’m just not so sure that loving him should mean sleeping with him. Not right now, anyway.”

“Well, they do say why buy the board if you can surf for free.”

“I don’t think anyone says that.” Danny smiled at him.

“OK, maybe not. But you know what I mean.”

“I do. I also know that he’s a hard man to resist.”

“That he is.” Chin agreed.

5050505050

Danny, Chin, Catherine, and Steve stood on the docks watching the ship sail away. Danny did not like seeing Kono go. She balanced them all in a way that was incredibly important and he already missed her. He could only hope that they could resolve this situation with Adam as soon as possible.

“Danny.” Steve asked, motioning for him to follow, which he did.

“I’m gonna take Catherine home but then I can meet you at my place.”

Danny glanced over at her and put his hands in his pockets. “I’m, uh, I think I just want to go home tonight.”

“You sure?” Steve placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah. There’s been a lot happening today and I’m...I’m tired. I’ll pick you up in the morning though.”

5050505050

He had her splayed out on his bed, hand up her dress as he licked his way down her chest. She pulled the strap over one shoulder, and he lifted one breast out of the cup of her bra with one hand as his fingers pushed inside her with the other. Her hands held his head as sucked her nipple. When his thumb found her clit she cried his name.

Pulling his hand out, he pushed her dress up above her waist and she pulled it over her head. Sliding two fingers under the lace of her thong, he pulled it down her legs. She watched him, waiting to see what he would do next.

Eyes roamed over her, taking in her curves and smooth skin. It had been almost a year since he’d touched her, tasted her...and she sparked a hunger in him. His fingers trailed down her body, along her hip and under her thigh, which he then lifted, opening her up to him. He could hear her breathing quicken as he stroked her folds, savoring the warm, soft, wetness that he hadn’t encountered in a while.

His phone buzzed on the nightstand and he saw Steve’s name flash, but he ignored it. He needed this. He deserved it. At least, he felt he did.

Her soft moans were echoing in his head when his phone buzzed for the third time. He lifted his head and wiped his face against the sheet.

“Please don’t stop.” She pleaded, running fingers through his hair.

“I just have to check.” He grabbed his phone and answered it.

“Someone tried to get Wo Fat. I need you to get down here. I’ve got at least 10 officers down.”

“Shit.” His pulse was racing now.

“Chin is already on his way. Haul ass, Danny.” The line went dead.

He turned to her. “I’m so sorry Gabby. I have to go.”

“Right now? Don’t you have a whole department of police officers they can call.”

And there it was. History would forever repeat itself. “You’re welcome to stay, make yourself comfortable.” He was tying his shoes back on.

“When will you be back?”

“I don’t know. But at least I’m not leaving the country.” It was a not-so-subtle dig at her, but he wasn’t in the mood to be made to feel like an asshole for doing his job. Not after the yo-yo way she’s been playing him.

Her face told him she took the hit and wasn’t going to lob one back. He stood and put his gun and badge back on before giving her a quick kiss before heading out the door.


	28. S4: E 1 Aloha ke kahi I ke kahi (We Need One Another)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day of high adrenaline is made worse by Steve learning Gabby is back after all, and that Danny plans to hold to his line in the sand.

“If he’s got intel, you’re gonna need a game plan.” Chin said.

“Yeah. Hold on a sec.” Steve motioned for Danny to shut the door to the interrogation room.

“Alright, Chin try to trace any of the NLM we had already ID’d before Salgado’s death. See if we can find out what they’ve been doing for the past 48 hours.”

“On it.” Chin ended the call.

Looking at Danny he said, “Why’d it take you three tries to pick up tonight?”

“Steve. Terrorist bleeding out.” Danny pointed to the door, deflecting the question.

“He’s fine. Answer the question.”

“I was busy.”

“Busy.” Steve tugged at Danny’s shirt collar open, holding it in his fingers. “You got lipstick in your collar.”

Danny focused, projecting calm. “This is not the time...”

“ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!”

“When I got home tonight, Gabby was in my apartment.”

Steve paced back and forth in the hallway. Danny knew he needed to take charge here. “We have a known terrorist bleeding heavily in this room right now. You and I can go all three rounds later but right now, we have to do this. You hear me? Huh, Navy SEAL? We have a mission.”

Steve shook his head and went back into the interrogation room.

5050505050

Danny hung back as Steve walked away from the chopper with Catherine.

“Chin.” He gave a low shout.

“Yeah?”

“I’m, uh, I’m gonna get a ride back with Duke. I’ll check out an unmarked and head home. I haven’t showered since yesterday morning and it feels like four years ago.”

“I can give you a ride if you want.”

“Nah, I don’t want Catherine to feel like the whole team is bailing on her. Go have a beer, decompress. I’ll be fine.”

“You sure this isn’t about...”

Danny cut him off. “It’s not, not about that. Trust me, this is what’s easiest for everyone all around.”

“OK. But I’m calling you tonight.”

They clasped hands. “And I’ll answer. Thanks buddy.”

“You bet.”

5050505050

The next morning, he rolled over and kissed Gabby softly on the nose, waking her up.

She smiled at him, “Mmmm, you are very nice to wake up to.” He smiled at her and kissed her some more.

“You are too, but I gotta get to work.”

Patting his arm she asked, “Does it ever stop?”

“There are lulls. But we’re down a man and we’ve got a pretty big mess to cleanup right now.” He thought both to the literal mess at HQ and sorting out how they were gonna deal with the new police Captain that Steve’d already managed to make an enemy of. He wished again, for the umpteenth time in three days that Kono was around. 

“I understand. Disappointing, but I do get that when you’re one-of-kind at what you do, it’s hard to not go do it.”

“Well, I’m nowhere at the level of a world-respected anthropologist, but at least in the state of Hawai’i, I have a unique set of skills.” He let his hand roam down her body and said, “I gotta take a shower.”

“What a coincidence.” She smiled. “I do too.”

His eyes lit up at her. “We should probably get to that then.”

5050505050

Chin was sweeping up glass when he arrived.

“Where’s the Big Kahuna?”

“He didn’t tell you?”

“No,” Danny shook his head. “We haven’t talked this morning.”

Dumping the dustpan full of broken glass into the trash he said, “I am not going to be the go-between with you two. I have no interest in working in a bad 80’s sitcom.”

“Pretend I’m Kono. If she asked the same question, what would you say?”

Crossing his arms, Chin looked him up and down. “I’d say ‘What happened, Cuz? Someone cut you off at the knees?’”

“Oh, we’re gonna be funny now. That’s nice. Forget I asked.” Danny turned to go check the damage in his office.

“He went with Max to see Wo Fat take off for Atwater.” They were relocating him to the closest maximum security federal prison in San Francisco.

“With Max? Why Max?”

“He didn’t say and I didn’t ask. I only know they left together because I saw them as I came in.”

“OK. Gimme the broom.”

~~~~~~~~

After Chin got off the Sat Phone, he called Steve to let him know Kono and Adam had been compromised.

“Alright. I’ll be back there in 15. Everyone in?” Steve asked. Chin rolled his eyes. They were a team of three right now, so ‘everyone’ wasn’t exactly a wide swath of people.

“Yes. He’s down in Maintenance getting more heavy garbage bags. And I’ll tell you what I told him. I’m not getting in the middle here. Whatever your issues are, work them out. I’m not your damn therapist.”

“Never said you were.”

“Long as we’re clear.” Chin said. “See you in a few.”

~~~~~~~

Danny was throwing buckets of bleach water across the floor in the larger interrogation room. The team had always been responsible for cleaning the rooms because Five-0 wasn’t part of HPD, and didn’t have their own custodial budget. Crews for the Palace would vacuum the offices and empty the trash but this was something no janitor signed up for. Mostly, though, they did it to keep exactly what “immunity and means” could mean sometimes under wraps.

He’d volunteered this time because it kept him out of upstairs. Though he knew Steve would come find him and when that happened, it’d be better to have a few layers of concrete between them and Chin.

Using a stiff brush to scrub the blood off the chair, he heard Steve’s footsteps long before he got to the room. Steve hit the lights and turned on the fan. The room had the ability to light up like an operating room, they just didn’t turn them on that way most of the time because suspects talked more when scared. The blue lights were more intimidating.

“You should turn the fan on so you’re not breathing in these fumes.” Steve said as he leaned against the wall, arms crossed.

“I like the fumes. How else are the tiny pink elephants and blue panda bears gonna sing me their songs?”

“Funny guy.”

“I’m here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitresses.” Danny said as he poured the last bucket of water over the chair, watching the last of the blood wash away down the drain.

“She still at your place?”

“She who?”

“Don’t fuck around with me right now, Danny.” Steve said seriously.

He pulled off his rubber gloves and tossed them in one of the empty buckets before looking at his watch, Danny said, “At this exact moment, I expect she’s at work. Same as I am at work.”

“You know what I mean. You’ve been with her these past few nights.”

“And who’s been your bed those same few nights?” Danny countered, hands on his hips.

Stepping away from the wall, Steve started pacing, “So that’s it? You’re really not going to tell her? This is who we are now?”

“I’m really not going to tell her. And yeah, this is who we are. For now.”

“Why are you doing this? Things have been going well. You said so yourself to Kono a few weeks ago.”

“Things were going as well as they could given the circumstances, but that doesn’t mean they were going great for me and circumstances changed.”

“I don’t understand. I thought...I thought I meant something to you.”

“You mean everything to me. That’s the problem. I can’t ask you to be anything other than you are. I love too much to do that. But I have needs too. And while I want nothing more than to walk over there and kiss that look right off your face, I won’t because I can’t be that guy.”

“What happens the next time she takes a job in Indonesia or somewhere?”

“I don’t know.”

“And I don’t like that answer!”

“Well it’s all the answer I got, Steve. Look, this is your chance to go all in with Catherine for real. To see if that can work.”

Steve’s face scrunched up, “Danny, I don’t want this.”

Danny crossed the room and pulled him into a hug. “It’s gonna be OK. We’re still partners. You’re still in my heart. You’ll always be there.”


	29. S4: Ep. 2 A’ale Ma’a Wau (Fish Out of Water)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Grace’s baseball team wins their championship, Steve has to watch Danny and Gabby together, which is something he really doesn’t like.

“Grace told me her baseball team is in the championships.” Gabby said as she passed a salad bowl to Danny. She was spending her days applying for new grants and since she was technically unemployed and still without an apartment, she was making a point to cook every night. Something Danny didn’t ask for, but was enjoying all the same.

“Yeah, well, that sounds a bit more impressive than it is. The area fall league only has three teams because most other kids are playing soccer, so you don’t exactly have to work hard to get to the championships. But she can’t play in the spring because of cheerleading, so we do this. At least she’s playing.”

“You played baseball right?”

“I did. Pretty well. I played club ball as well for my high school and college.”

“I think it’s great that you and Steve coach her team.”

“I coach the team. Steve is my required second adult who mostly gets in my way.” Off her look he explained. “Steve played football, not baseball, but he thinks he knows baseball, which is enough to make him very annoying.”

“How come he doesn’t help Catherine’s team then? The other night when we went do dinner, she said she was coaching too.” Danny gave her an odd look but said nothing.

“What? Did I misunderstand?”

“No, no. Uh, Steve’s been my assistant coach for the past two years.”

“But you just said that he annoys you. If he went to help Catherine’s team wouldn’t that give you the chance to find someone you can work better with?”

“I work with Steve great. He’s my partner.” Danny’s voice rose a bit and he felt his own defensiveness.

“I know. You just complain about him a lot. If we’re not talking about Grace, we talk about Steve, except the stuff you say about Steve sorta...you guys poke at each other quite a lot. The first time I met you both, you argued.”

“Yeah, we argue a lot but that’s just how we are. I didn’t mean to give you the impression that I don’t like him or...or want him around.”

“Fine. Tell me something nice about him.” She took a drink of wine as she leaned back in her chair.

“Nice about him. OK. Last fall I was caught in the laser beam of a bomb. If I moved or broke the beam, it would go off. Steve stayed next to me the whole time, talking to me, while the bomb squad worked to dismantle the bomb. He had no protective gear, nothing. If it went off, it was going to take both of us. He never left, even when I told him go, he wouldn’t.”

He smiled the memory, and the night they shared after, just holding each other. When he looked at her, eyes were wide and she looked scared.

“When did that happen?”

He grew serious. “Uh, early November last year.”

“So after I left. You never told me about that.”

Danny shrugged. “I don’t tell you most of the stuff that happens at work.”

“But you almost died! How could you...why did you not tell me? You must have been terrified.”

“I was.” Danny acknowledged, but stopped short because the only person he’d thought about back then was Grace...and that he wanted Steve to take care of her.

“How long did it take? To diffuse the bomb?”

“Look, I’m sorry I told you about it like that. You asked me for something nice and it was the first thing that came to mind. But I don’t want you carrying around the details. It’s why I don’t share that kind of stuff. Knowing only makes this worse. Trust me.”

Her face scrunched a little. “If the situation had been reversed...what would you have done?”

“I don’t know what you’re...”

“I asked you to say something nice and you told about how he was willing to die rather than leave your side. That’s not just something nice. Nice is him grabbing an extra latte for you a Starbucks. What he did...Danny, that’s devotion. So...is that how you feel for him?”

Danny finished off his glass and reached across the table and took her hand. “Gabby, I’m a cop. But I’m not a regular cop. I don’t write speeding tickets or take a report about your stolen Honda. I deal with serial killers, kidnappers, terrorists...these are not petty thugs. To do this job, I have to surrender my life into the hands of my team and they surrender theirs to me. You call it devotion. To me, that’s what partners do.”

“You make it sound like it’s all no big deal.”

“Of course it’s a big deal. That’s why when you asked, that was what came to mind. But I didn’t die, so I move on. If I dwelled on everything that Steve might do to get me killed I wouldn’t think about anything else.” He gave her a side smile.

“I can’t tell if you’re serious.”

“Just don’t worry about it. I’m fine. You made this amazing ziti thing that, seriously, my Nana would tie you to the kitchen chair until you revealed your recipe. We’re all good, yeah?”

“Yeah, we’re good.” She gave him an uncomfortable smile and Danny could tell this was only the beginning. He’d danced this dance before.

5050505050

Danny had finished his rant about Catherine and Billy, which Steve found massively ironic. But in the past two weeks, they had avoided any conversation about their relationship. Danny seemed to be happy with Gabby and after he had told Catherine that Danny had called “no joy” on being in a polyamorous relationship, she had basically moved in with him. She’d even offered to “expand” their sex practices, but it wasn’t prostate orgasms or ass play he missed. He’d let her try fingering him but he stopped it almost as soon as she started. It didn’t feel right: It wasn’t Danny.

“Why aren’t you worried I’m gonna cheat on Catherine?” Steve asked him finally.

“Who are you going to cheat on her with?”

“With you, dumbass.” Steve was punchy about this whole thing.

“Oh, you’re asking why do I think she and Billy will end up having sex because they work together but you and I won’t?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you seriously hearing yourself? You literally just proved my point.”

Steve kept driving, kicking himself for missing the obvious. Then again, he wasn’t always very clear headed when it came to Danny.

“How are things going with Gabby?”

“Fine.”

“That’s it? Just fine?”

“What do you want Steve? ‘Her pussy is the sanctuary of my soul.’ Is that better? No, it’s not. Because you don’t want to know that things are fine. You want there to be problems, which there are not. We are fine.”

“I don’t want there to be problems! I’m asking out of genuine curiosity and because I’m your partner. And hey, I’m diving deep into the Velvet Underground myself, so I have no problems with her ‘sanctuary of your whatever’. I’m just making conversation, that’s all. You’re the one who got all ‘I don’t talk about my girlfriend.’ ”

Danny shook his head, surrendering to this stupidity. “She’s applying for jobs and she makes me dinner every night, which is nice.”

“Sounds awesome.”

“It is.”

“You can’t hear that unspoken ‘but’ there? ‘Cause I sure do.”

“No ‘but’, there’s no ‘but’.”

“If you say so.” 

5050505050

After the game, Kamekona hosted a “Congratulations Champs” party by the Shrimp Truck for the team. Catherine had gone with her team, who were bummed about their loss. Gabby had met them at the beach because she had been finishing another grant proposal and missed the game. Watching her hang on Danny made Steve’s gut twist and he found himself walking over to them.

Gabby was on Danny’s left side, her arm around his neck. Danny’s arm was around her waist, holding her close as they talked to another parent. Steve came up on Danny’s right, their arms brushing. Danny took a step back and to the side to give some distance. Steve stepped closer and Danny couldn’t move away again without it being obvious.

“You see that text from Chin just now?” Danny asked.

Steve looked at him. “What text.”

Danny dropped his arm from around Gabby and looked at her and the other parent. “Excuse us for a moment. We have a work thing we have to discuss real quick. Be right back.”

Danny turned and walked to the far side of the shrimp truck where they would be out of sight.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m following you. You said there was a text.”

“I made that up because I couldn’t tell you to pay attention to our personal space in front of Gabby and the team parents without causing a scene.”

Steve stepped closer and Danny stepped back gain. “Stop doing that.”

“What, standing next to you?”

He stepped back again, this time he could feel the back side of the shrimp truck with his hand.

“Stop invading my personal space.”

Steve placed a hand on the truck wall above Danny’s head. “Make me.” Hunger radiated off him as he looked down into the deep blue eyes and soft lips he wanted so badly and his tongue flicked out a tiny bit.

Danny stepped out under Steve’s arm and turned to face him. “No. I know what you’re doing and I know what you want. And you need to stop.”

Steve leaned against the truck wall. “I miss you.”

“I know. And I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do for you right now. C’mon, let’s get back to the party.”

“I’m gonna head out.”

“Why.”

“Because I hate seeing her touch what I can’t.” Danny’s mind flashed back to the kiss Steve and Catherine had shared back at the game and felt defeated over Steve’s cluelessness.

“Welcome to my world.” Danny said and he walked away.


	30. S4: E 3 Ka’ oia’i’o ma loko (The Truth Inside)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve continues to struggle with not being able to be with Danny the way he wants.

First thing Danny did was lay the baby down to change her. Steve stood beside him and watched.

“I never get tired of watching you do that.” Steve said quietly.

“Not like you’ve seen me do it all that much.” Danny replied, his focus on the task at hand.

“Exactly. But when I do, I just...” Steve couldn’t finish the sentence.

Danny picked the baby up and bounced her in his arms. “I know. I make your ovaries melt.”

Steve definitely gave aneurism face at that. “I don’t have ovaries, Danny.”

“I’m only saying that I’ve met several women get a little swoony when they meet a man who can handle a baby. Believe me, when I’d take Grace out to give Rachel a break...nothing works better at drawing a group of women around you like carrying a baby. They’d give me the same look you’re giving me now.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Steve now wanted out of this conversation and this room so he could tell his growing erection to fuck off. He wasn’t sure what prompted him to say that to Danny. OK, yes he did. Danny was sexy as hell with a baby and that night he’d helped with Charlie so many years ago was a good memory.

“I’m gonna go see where CPS is.” Steve said as he backed out of the room.

‘Great. I’m gonna find her a bottle.” Danny headed for the kitchen, intentionally trying to keep the baby from viewing the pool area outside. She was only about nine or ten months old, but he didn’t want to take any chances at what impact seeing her parents lying dead would have, so he found a bottle, formula, and a couple jars of baby food and took her out front to wait for the social worker.

5050505050

As they left Max’s office Danny asked, “What was all that really about back there?”

“What was what about?” Steve asked, feigning ignorance.

“The German and the fist bumping and the ‘we’re BFFs’ now.”

Steve smiled. “You are jealous.”

“Is that intentional? Are you actually trying to make me jealous? You’re....I don’t know...you’re using Max to try and get me back or something?”

Steve paused on one landing in the stairwell that took them up from the morgue to the HPD central command. “Danny, if I thought it would get you back I’d use the President himself.”

“I’m right here. I haven’t gone anywhere. We see one another more than either of us see Catherine or Gabby.” Danny stood beside him and Steve was fighting the urge to kiss him.

“Sure you’re here. But you may as well be miles away.” Steve turned away and Danny pulled on his shirtsleeve.

“Babe, stop.” Steve let himself be pulled back but his whole body was tense. Danny kept a hold of his bicep and that small point of connection made Steve crackle all over.

Danny held his gaze and continued. “Look, you and Cath are standing right at the doorway of something that could...it could lead you where you really want and need to go. OK? She’s leaving the Navy. She will be here all the time. Now is the chance you have to see where this goes for real. To see if you can build a life, maybe a family...together.”

Steve nodded. Danny was right. Catherine was retiring today. She should be the one he’s thinking about. The fact that he burned for Danny too...he wondered if that’d ever stop.

5050505050

They stood outside in the parking lot by the pier. Catherine’s ceremony would start in about 20 minutes.

“How come you’re not in uniform?” Chin asked Steve.

“Yeah, I was wondering the same thing.” Danny asked.

“I’m not part of the ceremony so it’s not required.” Steve answered absently

“OK, but you wear it other times you’re not required to. I’d’ve thought that this was one time you’d wear it regardless.” Danny pushed the issue because Steve seemed uncomfortable.

“I wanted...I didn’t want to remind her that I’m reserves and she’s not. By dressing like this, it’s like we’re both out.”

“So it’s symbolic.” Danny asked, giving him a smile.

“Yes, it’s symbolic.” Steve appeared to relax as he saw Danny grinning at him.

“That’s good. That’s a very nice thing to do. And it displays a level of consideration and empathy that is rare for you, so good job.”

“Hey, I’m very considerate. I was even thinking about you here.”

“Me? What do you mean, me?”

Steve gave him a flirty wink. “I know what the uniform does to you.”

Chin hid his laugh in a cough.

Danny smiled. “I do like the uniform. On the other hand, this...this monkey suit you have on is also quite rakish.”

“Rakish. I like that.” Steve laughed. This felt good. It felt normal in a way things hadn’t in a while. He saw Catherine come out of the ready-room. “I gotta go.” He jogged off with her present.

Chin stepped next to Danny as they watched him go. “How are you doing?”

“Uh...I’m good.”

“It was a hard thing you did. Stepping away.”

“Harder than he knows, that’s for sure.”

Chin clapped an arm across his shoulders and they walked to where the ceremony would begin shortly.

5050505050

Danny and Gabby were making out on the couch when Danny’s phone buzzed. He pulled it out and answered. Gabby saw the name and sat back, arms crossed.

“What’s up?”

“Catherine wants the four of us to go see a movie.”

“Ok. That new Chris Nolan flick came out...Interstellar.”

“That’s what I said! But she wants to see something called The Best of Me.”

“Oh, god.”

“What? Is it bad?” He could hear Catherine shouting in the background.

“He thinks Enemy Mine is a classic so ignore him! Gabby will love it.”

“Your girlfriend needs to step off my movies.” Danny teased.

“So you’ll go?”

“Sure. When?”

“Tomorrow night.”

“Hold on.” He turned to Gabby, “You wanna see a movie with Steve and Cath tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Sounds fun.” She said, smiling now that she knew it wasn’t Steve calling to send Danny out on a case.

Back to the phone, Danny said, “Yeah, we’ll be there.”

“Good. Thanks, man.”

Danny dropped his phone on the coffee table. “Where were we?” He pushed her gently back, against the couch, kissing her as he slid a hand under her tank top.

~~~~~~~  
They were mostly naked on the couch as he sleepily smiled at her and brushed stray strands of hair from her face. She studied his face and said, “I really think I’ve fallen in love with you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” She snuggled her face in his neck.

“Well, you’re not so bad yourself.” He kissed the top of her head.

“I got a grant offer today.”

He pushed her away just enough that he could look at her. “Really? That’s great!”

“Well, it’s sorta of great. I’ve been trying to work up proposals for studies here in Hawai’i, but this is a project for the National Archives.”

“Sounds important.”

“It is. Some of the biggest names in the country will be attached to it. But it’s six months in Colorado and I only just got back here.”

“When would it start?”

“Two weeks.”

“Wow.” Danny sat up. “That’s soon.”

“I know. Which is why I’m not sure I should take it.”

“Why wouldn’t you take it? It’s a huge opportunity.” Danny asked.

“Because I love you and I am really enjoying being here with you. Though it’s only six months. There’s no extension here. Once the items are archived, that’s it, I come back.”

“I enjoy you being here too. But maybe...maybe we should take a little time and think about this?”

“Why?”

“Because six months is still a long time.”

“Danny, I don’t have to go. I’m sure another grant will go through eventually.”

“I’m...I’m not comfortable with you passing up this opportunity like this though. Please, let’s just take some time. A couple days. I’m only just hearing about this and I want some time. Can you give me that?”

“Of course.” Her heart melted at how supportive he was being. “You’re a treasure I never expected to find Danny Williams.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him close.

Danny held her, but in his mind, he was already standing at the door, watching her leave forever.


	31. S4: E 4 A ia la aku (From This Day Forward)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabby and Catherine share some girl-talk and Steve pushes Danny harder than ever about why he won’t get back together.

Steve had slipped Catherine the keys to the truck as he’d left, so when the movie was over, she asked Gabby if she’d like to go get a dessert somewhere. They ended up sharing a molten chocolate lava cake and couple glasses of wine at a steakhouse nearby.

“How do you get used to it?” Gabby asked.

“Get used to what?” Catherine replied, taking a bite.

“That they just take off any time, any where.”

She shrugged. “I don’t think I needed to get used to it. In the Navy, you go where you’re sent and you don’t ask questions. The phone rings and he goes. It’s his job.”

“Do you ever get worried?” Gabby was wondering if maybe this is all her being difficult. Catherine seemed so chill about everything. She had barely even acknowledged they’d left the theater.

“Sure, yeah. But you can’t live there. There were times when we were at sea together and he’d have a mission that...I just couldn’t think about what he was doing or if he’d come back. Guess I’ve learned to block it out.”

“Did they seem...different tonight?”

“Not really. What do you mean?”

“OK. I know this seems... No, it’s dumb. Forget it.”

“Gabby, it’s OK. This is a hard world to step into. If I can help, I’d like to.”

“From the moment we met up tonight, I don’t know. I felt like I was...” She really didn’t know how to finish her sentence.

“Like you’re the third wheel?”

“Yes!”

“That is harder to get used to, but it is what it is.” Catherine knew that Danny didn’t want Gabby to know about his and Steve’s history so she wasn’t going to reveal that, but she felt a sisterhood with Gabby over having to compete with what Kamekona secretly called “McDanno” behind their backs.

“I don’t get them. Sometimes Danny seems so frustrated and antagonistic about Steve but then he tells me this story about Steve not leaving his side when there was a bomb...and tonight, it was like they were on a date with each other and not us. They’re the craziest co-workers I’ve ever seen.”

“OK, well, that’s part of the issue. They are not co-workers. They are partners and there’s a big difference.”

“Oh, I know.” Gabby said dismissively. She didn’t want Catherine to think she didn’t get that their job was dangerous and Danny’s explanation about needing to trust Steve with his life made sense. She wanted to seem like she understood, but deep down, something felt...like there was more. Something she couldn’t identify. 

“A few years ago, Billy, he’s the guy I’m about to start working with?” Gabby nodded. “Billy and I were running an intel mission outside Kabul. The area had already been reconned and we were meeting an operative at a pre-arranged drop. On our way back into town, we realized a militia squad was on the road ahead of us. We couldn’t risk an encounter so we found an abandoned building to lay low.

“Afghan winters are very cold and as the sun set, we had to secure ourselves for the night. To do that, we pulled out our Mylar wraps and the best way to generate heat is skin to skin, so we stripped down and wrapped the Mylar around us both.”

Gabby’s eyes got wide. “What happened? Did you...”

Catherine smiled. “We didn’t have sex, but there was a lot of touching and some kissing. Which is not really my point. My point is that when you’re in the midst of actual life and death, intimacy becomes a difficult thing to define or have boundaries around. And other people can’t really get inside that experience.”

“So you’re saying I’ll never be able to understand their relationship because I haven’t had their experiences?”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. I’m not saying that is easy. There have been times when Steve chooses Danny over me. A lot of times, actually. Getting upset about it only makes the time I do have with Steve less fun.”

Gabby’s phone buzzed and she had a text from Danny.

“What is it?” Catherine asked.

“He says he’ll be at the crime scene all night and asked me to get Grace to school in the morning.”

“Wow, that’s a big deal. Trusting Grace to you...that’s not something he does with just anyone.”

“I should get back.”

Catherine nodded as put cash on the table. “Let’s get you home then.”

5050505050

After they each signed the marriage certificate as witnesses, Nate Cotchin shook their hands. “Thank-you both, for everything you’ve done. We’re eternally grateful.”

Danny grinned at him. “Our pleasure. You two kids have a great life, OK?”

“We will.”

“Take care.” Steve said, and they left the hospital room.

As they drove back to the Palace, both were quiet until Steve said, “Thank-you, for agreeing to that. I know you didn’t want to.”

“Forget about it.” Danny waved his hand. “That was a nice thing you helped make happen there. I don’t...never mind.”

“You really don’t believe in marriage anymore?”

“It’s that I believe in the reality of human beings more. I think people want their relationship to last forever. I think they believe that when they say their vows. I wanted to. But forever is just not what we are capable of. So it seems more dishonest to pretend that it does.”

“So you don’t think you will ever get married again?”

“No, I don’t think I will ever get married again.” Silence filled the car again as they pulled into the underground garage and Steve pulled the Camaro beside the Silverado. He killed the engine but didn’t pull the keys or get out.

“Something wrong?” Danny asked.

“For several weeks now, I’ve been trying to make sense of why you shut me out. Of what had changed that made you suddenly not want to be with me. And I thought...I thought it was because you had decided that you wanted to make a go of things with Gabby for real. That you...you loved her enough to...I figured you wanted to marry her.” He looked at Danny but his face was unreadable.

“But if you’re not planning on that. If you expect your time with her to end, enough that you’re lying to her and...and avoiding her...then what is all this for? Huh? Are you just...are you making me pay for Catherine? Is that what this is?”

“No. No, I’m not doing that.”

“Then what is this about?”

“I’ve told you. Several times actually. Why are you being so stubborn here? I stepped out because it wasn’t working for me anymore.”

“But why? I still love you. I know you love me even if you never say it anymore. And it can’t be about me being with you forever because you just told me you don’t believe that’s possible. So why not just be happy for now. Like we used to be?”

“Because you do believe in forever.” Danny’s eyes were red. “And because you do, then you should have your best shot at it. And I am not going to get in the way of that.”

“Catherine was fine...”

“No, she wasn’t! Steve, you want the world to be the way you want it to be but you’re not paying attention to what actually is. And you don’t just do this with me or with Catherine. You do it with Joe, with Doris. Even with your Dad.” He paused and took a breath. “I need to get home.”

Without another word, Steve got out and into his truck. Danny waited until he’d pulled away before moving over to the driver’s side.


	32. S4: E5 Kupu’eu (Fallen Hero)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catherine’s devastating loss of Billy and Danny’s less devastating loss of Gabby leads to Steve wanting to re-negotiate terms with Danny.

As his phone rang, he tried to find a quieter corner of the arena to take the call, which was nearly impossible.

“Talk loud Steve.” Danny said, covering his other ear with his hand.

“I’m sorry, pal but I need you to come home.”

“What happened?”

“Billy’s dead.”

Danny’s heart clenched, “How’s Cath?”

“Gunshot wound to her left shoulder, but otherwise she’s OK.”

“That’s good news. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Thanks.”

5050505050

As they continued to bounce along the road to whichever off-the-grid contact Joe was taking them to meet, Danny asked, “Why come to me with this, Joe? Why not ask Catherine?”

“Two reasons. One, Catherine and Doris are cut from the same cloth.”

“What? Because they’re both women? Kinda sexist of you don’t ya think?”

Joe glared at him from the corner of his eye. “Not because they are women. Because they are highly trained intelligence operatives. Catherine ripped out her own IV this morning to go after her partner’s killer. I tell her about this, her next move isn’t gonna be to tell Steve to stand down. It’s gonna be to either find Doris herself or convince Steve to help her do it. Those two are like terriers who scent a rat. You put a possible mission in front of either of them and they won’t stop until the job is done.”

“Alright, fine. What’s the other reason?”

“You matter more. Not by much, but you definitely edge her out. You center him. I’ve seen him respond to you in a way I’ve only ever seen him do with one other person.”

“Freddie.” Danny said quietly.

“Finally told you about him huh?”

“Not really. Catherine did.”

“Steve is trained to place higher value on the mission and the team than on himself. His needs, whatever they are, are meant to be suppressed for the sake of the task at hand. And he was good at doing that. He tolerates extremes of heat and cold, hunger, sleep deprivation, being constantly wet or in pain...he was almost a machine...but the one thing he could never suppress was his need for Freddie at his side. And when Freddie was gone, I was certain he was going to need intervention because he was finally going to psych out. He didn’t. You know why?”

> _“You saved me.”_  
>  _“When?”_  
>  _“The moment we met.”_

Danny felt a single tear fall and quickly wiped it away. “I have an idea.” Danny said.

“Then you know why I’m coming to you. And why I believe that despite your protests to the contrary, you actually do have the ability to convince Steve to stand down. At least for a while. And if his mom is gone, he’ll need you more than he did after John’s murder.”

“Yeah, OK.”

5050505050

The wake was winding down and Danny approached Catherine as she waited at the bar for a glass of water. As soon as she saw him, she pulled him in for a hug. She knew he saw her as a rival. Hell, she saw him that way a lot of the time too. But they also understood each other.

“Danny, I have a really big favor to ask.”

“Sure, hon, what is it?”

“I want you to take Steve home with you tonight.”

Danny shook his head remembering why he should never agree to something before he knows what it is. “Catherine, that’s...why are you asking for that?”

She started to cry, “Because I let the lease lapse at my rental and I have no where else to go. I don’t want to go to a hotel because I...I want to make myself some comfort food, take a really long bath, and watch the saddest movie I can find while eating a whole pint of ice cream. And I want to do that without Steve hovering over me. I know Gabby won’t be at your place.”

“How...how do you know that?”

“She called me and we talked.”

“Oh.”

“Why haven’t you told Steve yet?”

“Just hasn’t come up.”

“It’s been over a week since you broke it off with her. She hasn’t even left for Colorado yet.”

“Catherine, this is a really big ask, you get that right?”

“I do. And I’m OK if you two...”

Danny looked away then back, “That’s not.. I don’t need or want your permission. That’s why I...”

“Please, Danny. Twenty-four hours. That’s all I need.”

“OK. How are you gonna get home?”

“I figured I’d call a cab.”

“No, you drive the truck. C’mon. This is gonna take both of us.”

Steve was at a high-top with Joe, nursing his third whiskey and water. Danny approached Steve’s right side and slid his hand in Steve’s front pocket, grabbing the truck keys.

“What’re you doing Danny?”

“Getting Catherine her ride home.” He handed her the keys and she looped the ring over her finger and closed her hand.

“You’re probably right. I’ve had a couple.” Steve acknowledged. Danny looked at Joe and held up three fingers because that was how many Steve had by his count. Joe held up four.

“Alright big guy, let’s get going.” Danny wrapped an arm around Steve’s waist.

“I’m not done yet. Joe and I are still...”

“It’s alright, Son. We’ll catch up more another time. Folks are thinning out here. Go with Danny.”

“With Danny?” He looked around. “Where’s Catherine?”

“She headed home. Come on now.” Danny kept his arm around Steve and pulled him towards the door of the bar.

The Camaro was parked a block down the street. Danny opened the passenger door and waited for Steve to get in, then closed it.

As they pulled up to his house, Steve had dozed off a bit but when the car stopped, he woke up and looked around. “Danny where are we?”

“We’re at my house.” Danny got out of the car and walked around. Opening the passenger door he asked, “You gonna be OK to walk?”

“Yeah, of course. I just...why did bring me here? Where is Catherine?”

“She’s at home.”

“Danny, what’s going on?”

“Let’s go inside, I’ll make you some coffee and we’ll talk about it. OK?”

Steve nodded and followed him inside. Danny went straight to his room and pulled a t-shirt and pair of shorts that were Steve’s but he’d not given back. He brought them out and handed them to his partner.

“I figured you weren’t gonna want to be in your uniform anymore.”

Steve’s face scrunched in confusion. “Danny, I know I’ve had a lot to drink, but...”

“Go change and I will answer every question I promise. Go on now.”

Steve headed for the bedroom and Danny made coffee. When Steve came back out, Danny had put a tray of frozen Mac and Cheese in the oven too. They would need to eat dinner eventually.

“You want anything in your coffee?”

“Butter.” Danny gave him a look, but added it anyway and set the mug in front of him as Steve sat down at the table.

“When does Gabby get home?”

Danny sat at the table too. “No idea.”

“Why didn’t Catherine take me home.”

“She asked me to bring you here.”

Steve gave him wrinkly-confused-face again. “Why?”

“Because she lost a lover and wants to mourn without her current lover being in the way.”

“She...she doesn’t want me there?”

“I think it’s more that she wants to be alone. It’s not like she wants someone else there instead of you. She’s grieving. People do goofy things when they’re grieving sometimes.”

“So she passed me off to you, like I’m a puppy or something?”

“You can be pissed off right now or you can be generous and let her have what she’s asking for. I know that’s a difficult concept for you, but maybe dig deep into that SuperSEAL psyche for ten seconds and realize that not everything is about you.”

“Fine. I’ll call a cab and find a hotel.” Steve pulled out his phone but Danny yanked it away, proving how slow his reflexes had become due to the alcohol.

“What the fuck, Danny!” Steve started to get up, but the chair didn’t slide like he expected, getting caught were the tile met the carpet and he fell backwards.

Danny slid Steve’s phone into the same back pocket as his own and stood up. “I’m gonna go change out of my suit now. You can stay there on the floor if you want, but I imagine you’ll be more comfortable on the couch. You try and leave, I will track you down and arrest you. Understand?” He didn’t wait for a reply.

Once in his room, he put Steve’s phone on the charger because it had the lowest charge and set his own phone beside it. Then he went to his closet and started hanging up his suit. He heard Steve come to the doorway but didn’t acknowledge him. Danny felt tense because Catherine’s offer of “permission” was still in his brain. It wasn’t a free pass. It was more like a dealer who gives you the first hit for free to get you hooked. When it came to Steve, he was definitely an addict. It was easier when Gabby was here, but with her gone... he’d wanted to call Steve every night but didn’t.

And now Cath is in her own circle of hell and they were back to their old dysfunctions. One of them needed to be the grown-up. He knew this. But why did it have to be him? Why did he have to be the one who was strong enough to resist?

He’d purposefully not turned around as he hung up his shirt, tie, and jacket. He slipped off his pants and that was when he realized how close Steve had gotten because as he folded his suit pants, he felt Steve’s hand on his ass. The hand moved in slow circles and Danny finished clipping them into their hanger before turning around.

Steve encircled his waist, both hands now caressing his backside. “Tell me to stop.” Steve said huskily.

Danny closed his eyes and tried to slowdown the rapid beating of his heart. “Stop.” He whispered.

Steve licked his ear. “Like you mean it.” Steve kissed down to the crease of Danny’s neck, where he knew his partner would melt.

“Fuck, Steve...” Danny’s hand clutched Steve’s hips, trying to keep some space between their rock-hard cocks. He felt a hand slip inside his boxer-briefs.

“You asking me or cursing me?” Steve asked as his hand gently massaged flesh.

“We can’t...”

“Oh, we very much can.” Steve pressed forward despite Danny’s grip and their erections rubbed along one another. “We absolutely can.”

The crack in the dam of Danny’s resolve broke open and he shoved Steve several steps until he hit the bed and fell backwards, Danny landing on top of him.

Steve pulled himself further on the bed by his elbows as Danny yanked off his shorts. Steve had intentionally not put underwear on when he changed out of his uniform. The look Danny gave him was a dark mixture of lust and aggression. Steve pulled his shirt off and laid back, waiting.

Danny straddled him and grabbed Steve’s pecs in both hands, squeezing the muscle as he flicked his nipples with his thumbs. Steve’s head rolled back and he groaned as he thrusted his hips involuntarily. This is what he hungered after. The raw passion that rolled off of Danny in waves was more intoxicating than the buzz from the whiskey.

Hard fingers tugged and pulled at him and then Danny pounded both pecs with closed fists. The blow stung his nipples and radiated through his chest. Danny paused, breathless, clearly waiting to see how Steve reacted.

Steve slid his hands behind his back and locked eyes with Danny and said, “More. God, Danny, that’s what I’ve missed.” Danny dragged his knuckles over Steve’s chest, rubbing back and forth and then rested his fists on him. When he felt Steve flex, he hit him again, harder than before but the alcohol in his system deadened his pain receptors, so it washed away quickly, leaving him only with arousal. Steve arched his back and groaned as a small bit of clear precum oozed forth. He craved friction and pushed up against Danny again.

Danny leaned down and sucked one nipple back with strong pressure. Steve felt crazed with the sensation and slight twinges of pain that licked at the edges of his brain. Danny switched to the other side and Steve panted as he kept trying to rub his cock in time with Danny’s mouth but was prevented from moving his hips the way he wanted.

Moving down between his legs, Danny grabbed Steve under one knee and pulled it over the other. Steve took the hint and rolled onto his stomach.

“Hips up” Danny ordered as he slapped Steve’s ass. Steve pulled his knees under him, but kept his chest down. His pecs were sore and he liked the way they felt against the bed. He wanted to feel the effect of Danny everywhere.

Steve’s head was buzzing from alcohol and vasopressin, so when Danny began to alternate between long, slow licks against his hole and sharp, quick slaps on the same spot, he had to grab himself because his desperation was out of control.

He felt a spit-covered finger penetrate him and he moaned loud. Without lube, everything pulled as it moved in and out of him.

“Please, Danny.”

“Please what?”

“Fuck me. I need to feel you.”

Danny hesitated. The metaphorical line of Columbian blow was in front of him and Steve just handed him a straw.

“Hang on.” He got off the bed and went to the closet and grabbed the bottle of lube he’d stashed on the top shelf behind sweaters he seldom wore but kept for when he when he’d fly back home. The fact that he’d moved his lube into the closet when Gabby came to stay was not at all lost on him.

Returning to the bed, he poured some into his hand and reached under, replacing Steve’s hand with his own, using long, slow strokes. With his other hand, he dripped some lube onto Steve and went straight for that tiny ball of nerves inside him that made Steve cry out.

“Danny, come on, please.” Steve whined.

“Shhh, babe, you’re OK. I got you.”

Steve fought it because it wasn’t how he wanted it but the orgasm hit anyway, and he collapsed, tired and strung-out. Danny got up and washed his hands. When he came back, Steve had pulled the quilt off the bed and was gone. Danny tugged on a t-shirt before walking out and found him curled up on the couch. He sat down on the coffee table, facing him.

“Why’d you do that?” Steve asked, face stony.

“I gave you what you wanted.”

“You think that’s what you did?”

“Yeah.”

“Funny. Because it feels to me like you’re just the hooker Catherine hired to keep me busy for the night. I wanted you. I wanted us.”

“I’m not the one who came up behind you.” Danny countered.

“I thought...I thought maybe you’d missed me as much as I’ve missed you.”

“I do miss you. This is like an aching wound I can’t heal. I miss cuddling you and fucking you until you’re sore. I miss teasing you and kissing you and the insane rush I feel when you tell me you want to submit...I miss everything about you. But I don’t miss sharing you. I won’t share you...but I’m human and only so strong. You throw a steak before a starving dog, he’s gonna eat.”

“You talk like I don’t have to share you too.”

“You don’t.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Gabby’s taking the job. For a little bit, I did seriously contemplate telling her about us and seeing if she was OK with the kind of on and off thing you and Catherine tried. But in the end, Grace was the deciding factor. She was getting attached to Gabby and it was too much. So I ended it.”

“When?”

“A little over a week ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? How could you keep that...”

“Because of your face right now. Because I knew it would give you some hope that I was ready for things to go back and I’m not.” Danny reached out so he could touch Steve as they talked.

“Catherine is really hurting right now. More than you or me.” Steve tried to turn away but Danny held him firm. “Steve, I really need you to understand me. Sex is awesome, but it’s not everything. I am here with you in every other way. OK. I’m not leaving you. Look at me. I. Am. Not. Leaving. You.” Steve opened his arms and pulled Danny onto the couch, hugging him tight.

“Catherine needs you right now. She needs all of us.”

Steve relaxed. “OK. But I want in at this negotiation table of one you have going on.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’ve heard your terms and I’m willing to discuss them but I have some of my own.”

“OK, go ahead.”

“I want to be able to touch you and hold you again. And I want to be able to flirt with you. We’ve always done those things and not doing them doesn’t feel like us.”

“OK. That seems fair.”

“And I want social time with you; with the team but also with just you. I don’t want to only see you at work. Again, we did that before and losing that felt like you cut off my arm.”

“Agreed. Not like my social calendar is gonna be that booked anymore.”

“I also...” Steve paused. This was the one he didn’t think Danny would go for. “I want to...when I need...”

“Steve...” Danny’s tone was firm and deep. A rush of arousal flooded Steve and he took in a breath. “That response you just had, is why that is playing with fire.”

Pulling himself under control, Steve countered, “You’re the one who taught me that submitting didn’t have to be about sex. That it could be even done in public. The place in my head where you get me...no one else can do that.”

Danny thought back to his earlier conversation with Joe. “Did Freddie ever top you?”

“No, we weren’t like that. I loved him like I love you. But he didn’t...that’s not who I was to him.”

“I need to think about it.”

Steve smirked at him. “That’s not a no.”

The buzzer went off on the mac & cheese. “Want to watch a movie while we eat?” Danny stood up to grab the remotes from under the TV.

“As long as you’re next to me.”

“Maybe you should go put some clothes on.”

Steve shook his head. “Being naked when you’re not is one of my favorite things.”

While Danny served up two bowls, Steve adjusted the quilt around him so he could pull it over Danny after they ate. Once they were done, Danny returned the bowls to the kitchen and when he returned, Steve opened one arm so Danny could snuggle in next to him. He heard Steve give a quiet, contented sigh, so low that Danny wasn’t even sure Steve knew he’d done it.

Three steps forward, two steps back is still progress.


	33. S4:9 Hau’oli La Ho’omaika (Happy Thanksgiving)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aunt Deb’s news hit right at the heart of Steve’s abandonment issues and the only one he wants to turn to is Danny.

**I’m at your door. Can I come in?**

**I’ll be right there.**

Danny pulled on a pair of running shorts and a t-shirt before heading out to let Steve in.

“It’s almost 1am. What’s going on?”

“I, uh, Danny?” The dam he’d build up the instant Deb shared her news collapsed and Steve let himself go.

Danny pulled him into a hug and Steve sobbed against him. After a few minutes Danny guided them to the couch.

“It’s gonna be OK, babe. I know this is hard for you.”

“They keep dying, Danny. The people I think I can depend on...they die. Or they leave. I can’t take another one. I can’t. And I have to be strong for Mary, but I don’t know if I can. How am I supposed to keep taking this?”

Danny pulled him tight against his chest. “Shhh, just...just be sad for a while. It’s ok to feel overwhelmed. You don’t have to be strong right now.”

Danny gave him a few soft kisses and said, “C’mon. Lay down. You’re exhausted. You woke up early to cook and then we had a case and then this...It’s too much even for a Navy SEAL.”

Steve laid on the couch, his head in Danny’s lap. Danny gently pet down his shoulder and back, soothing him.

“I love you so much, Danno.”

“I love you too, babe.”

He was so focused on Steve, that he didn’t notice Grace slip quietly back to her room.

5050505050

Danny woke up and looked at his watch. 0412. He stretched his neck, then shifted to slide out from under Steve’s head. He was able to push a throw pillow under his head without waking him once he stood up and then pulled a light blanket over him.

Walking back to his room, he grabbed his phone and sent a quick text to Catherine so she wouldn’t worry then crawled back into bed.

A couple hours later he woke up to the sound of laughter. Steve and Grace were in the kitchen making toaster waffles.

“Morning Danno.” Grace said. “Uncle Steve made waffles.”

“Uncle Steve used a toaster. Let’s not make it sound like he slaved over a hot waffle iron.” Danny kissed the top of her head. Steve handed him a cup of coffee with creamer.

“Your dad’s right. These kind of waffles aren’t that hard. My dad used to make us Belgian Waffles on Christmas. Mary and I would pile on fruit and go through a can of whip cream each.”

“Each? Danno would never let me eat that much whip cream.”

“Oh, I’m the ogre who won’t let your teeth rot out your mouth from that much sugar. I forgot what a monster I am.”

“Just once?” She pleaded.

“Sure. We’ll try it. But you’ll get two waffles in and want to puke, trust me.”

“I’ve got an iron stomach! That’s what Grampa says.” She patted her belly proudly the same way Danny’s dad would do.

“Oh you do? Shall we tell Uncle Steve about Aunt Stella’s Sloppy Joe’s?”

Her face scrunched. “Gross, no!”

“She ate lunch and then let Eric spin her around like an airplane after I warned her not to. Threw up all over the patio.”

Grace looked at Steve solemnly, “I still can’t eat Sloppy Joe’s.”

“Well some day I’ll make you real waffles and we’ll see how much whip cream we can get away with.” Steve kissed her forehead. “I gotta go.”

He looked at Danny. “Thanks.”

“Anytime.” Danny nodded at him. And they both watched him leave.

“Danno?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you love Uncle Steve?”

“Of course, Monkey. What kind of question is that?”

“No, I mean...do you love him like you loved Mom? Or Gabby?”

“Why are you asking me that?”

“Last night...he was crying. I heard you and I came out to see what was wrong. I saw you kiss him.”

Danny sat down at the table. “Grace, Uncle Steve got very sad news yesterday. Aunt Deb told him and Mary that she is very sick and is going to die soon.”

“I know. I heard Cathrine talking to Aunt Mary about it. But...” she stopped, not sure what to say.

“It’s OK. But what?” Danny rubbed her back.

“I’ve never seen you kiss anyone but mom or Gabby. And he said he loved you.”

Danny looked at her trying to decide what to say and instead decided to ask her a question. “How do you feel about that? What you saw.”

She was quiet. “I love Uncle Steve. But...I don’t want you to date him or marry him. Because then one day you won’t love him anymore and he will go away. Friends don’t go away. I don’t want Uncle Steve to go away.”

He fought his own emotions and pulled her close. “Uncle Steve isn’t going to go away. I promise. OK? I kissed him because he was sad but I’m not dating him. It’s not like with Gabby or your mom. OK? He’s my best friend and he was really upset, so I wanted him to feel better. To feel safe. Does that make sense?”

She pulled back. “Yes. I’m glad. Can we watch The Sandlot?”

“Always.” Danny put his hand on his head and tussled her hair. “But then we gotta get you back to your mom’s for Thanksgiving number two.”

“OK.”

5050505050

He sat in his car outside Rachel and Stan’s texting.

**Can you meet me for a bit? Up at the spot?**

**Sure. Everything OK?**

**Yeah. Just need to talk.**

**Be there in 20.**

By the time he got there from Kāhala, Steve was already there. Danny sat next to him and watched the waves crash below for a minute.

“Something’s wrong.” Steve said.

“Not really wrong. Just something we have to talk about.” Danny was still trying to figure out how to say it.

“Danny, we can’t talk about it if you won’t tell me what it is.”

“Grace saw us last night. She heard you and came out while we were on the couch. She saw me kiss you.”

Steve looked out over the ocean feeling both relieved and trepidatious. “OK. How did she take it?”

“She, uh, she asked if I loved you the way I loved her mom and Gabby.”

“What did you say?” Steve looked at him, afraid of the answer but needing to hear it all the same.

“I asked her how she felt about that and...” he paused. “She said she loved you very much and she didn’t want me to date you because that would mean that someday we would break up and she would never see you again. So she doesn’t want me to love you like that. She wants us to be friends because friends don’t leave.”

Steve closed his eyes and hung his head. He loved that kid so much.

“So, I told her that I kissed you because you were sad and I wanted to make you feel better but that you were still just my best friend.”

Nodding, Steve said, “Yeah. OK.”

“What are you thinking?” Danny asked.

“That Gracie is an amazing kid and I love her. And I will do what I have to do to prove to her that I’m not going anywhere.”

Danny took that in. “I’m sorry.”

“About what?”

“A lot of things. Mostly, uh, that I’m the reason she believes that love doesn’t last.”

“Grace is the child of divorce. Once she has a chance to be in love herself, she will understand.”

“Will she? I mean, she’s not wrong in her observations. Her mom and I divorced. Rachel and Stan have a rocky marriage. I broke up with Gabby because I wanted Grace to have stability, but in doing that, I also proved her point.”

“Danny, the other night, you told me that you would never leave me. Why...why did you say that?”

“Because I know it’s what you fear most. And I wanted you to not be afraid.”

“Did you mean it? Or did you say it to make me feel better?” Steve hated asking but he needed to know.

“I mean it. I want to mean it. You’re...you’re like, my person. The one I count on. I know you will be there for me no matter what and I want to be that back for you. And I...I know it sounds crazy but it’s different to me than being in love.

“Y’know, sometimes I wonder...” he paused and sucked in a breath, trying not to cry. “I wonder what would’ve happened if Grace had not been shot. My partner Grace. I wonder if I would’ve gotten divorced. Or if I had, what we might have become. I never felt like I was in love with her...but when she was killed...part of me died too because...”

“She was your person.” Steve finished.

“Yeah.”

“Danny, I hope you know that I’m not going anywhere either. You and Grace, you’re my family now. A lot of the time, you’re the only family I have. And I’ll do what it takes for Gracie to feel OK. That doesn’t mean that I don’t still...I want us to figure things out. Somehow. Someday.”

“I want us to figure it out too. Someday.”

“Grace back at Rachel’s?”

“Just dropped her off, yeah.”

“Come back to my place. The turkey is finally thawed and so I’m gonna cook it and watch football. I’ll be eating turkey for weeks, but at least it’s not going to waste.”

“Your Aunt Deb is still here. I don’t want to get in the middle...”

“I want her to know you. You’re my person too, y’know.”

“OK. Do you have cranberries?”

“Well, sorta. They’re in a bag. Never quite got around to figuring out what to do with them.”

“You have raw cranberries?”

“Yeah. They were at the store.”

“You can buy it already made.”

“But the point was to make everything from scratch. I had a plan. You know how to make cranberries?”

“As a matter of fact, I do.”

“You do?”

“What? You think I’m lying to you? Of course I know how to make cranberries from scratch. It’s actually really easy. You got orange juice?”

“What’s orange juice got to do with it?”

“You’ll see.”


	34. S3. E12 O kela me keia manawa (Now and Then)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny’s concern over the appearance that Steve’s shopping for a new parter runs deeper than Steve realizes. For his part, Steve’s got some things to say about the pretty New Yorker Danny just met.

“He hung up on me.” Grover said, passing Steve’s phone back to him. “He reminds me of this Boston Terrier my Great Aunt Lucy had. That SOB would set himself at my father, barkin’ and nippin’ at his feet whenever we came over. That dog hated my old man.”

“Danny doesn’t hate you.”

“For sure doesn’t like me.”

“He’s not the most trusting guy in the world and you have threatened to arrest me a few times, which he also doesn’t much care for.”

“How long you been partners?”

“About two and a half years.”

“OK, story time. How’d he end up on Five-0?”

“He pointed a gun at me.”

“That’s all it takes? I should be your second in command by now.”

“Yeah, well, anybody else points a gun at me, he’ll be your Boston Terrier on steroids, believe me.”

“He clearly has a protective streak, the way he talks about his daughter. Better watch him as that girl becomes a teenager. He’ll need to temper that or he could end up with a rebellious one.”

“Danny is a great dad and Gracie is an amazing kid. She’s so much like him.”

“That a blessing or curse?”

“Hey. You don’t know him. OK?”

“Settle down, McGarrett. I’m just raggin’ on your boy a little bit.”

“He’s not my boy, he’s my partner. And maybe when you’ve been around a little bit, that’ll be OK. Until then, you wanna come at someone, come at me. Otherwise, step back.”

“Sounds like Williams isn’t the only one with a protective streak.”

5050505050

Danny was parking in the hospital lot when called Steve to check in.

“Hey Danny. How’s your gunshot victim?”

“She has to be the most unlucky woman on the planet. Some kid on a boat 500 yards off shore shoots a rifle for fun and bullet ends up going through an open window of her car and ends up in her neck. It was totally random.”

“Wow. Someone needs to take basic firearms safety over again.”

“That would imply he ever took it the first time, which I doubt. Y’know I have guns because I have to. I have no idea why anyone would shoot them for fun.”

“No idea? None? You never went pea-shooting as a kid?”

“No, I did not. My dad was a firefighter and guns were for gangs and mafia-types.”

“So my field trip to take the Aloha Girls to the gun range is a no-go?”

“You had better be joking.”

“I’m joking. But we are gonna teach them to use a bow and arrow.”

“Fine. They can all be little Robin Hoodettes. Where are you headed?”

“We have a lead on where we think Anderson is hiding out.”

“Grover still with you?”

“Yeah.”

“Mmm.”

“What is that?”

“Nothing. I gotta go.”

Danny hung up. He didn’t understand what Steve was doing, spending so much time with the new SWAT Captain. He missed when Five-0 was just him, Chin, Kono, and Steve. Their team had changed before with Jenna and Lori, but the four of them would always be tight. His heart clenched for Kono. He missed her so much, partly because she was his mirror. They were the two spit-fires on the team and both the lower-ranked members in their partnerships, so they understood each other. He wanted her back because between Catherine as full Five-0 and whatever Steve was playing at with Grover, he wanted to feel like someone was on his side and he knew she would be.

5050505050

Grace played in the surf while Danny sat on the beach and watched. Everyone else was inside watching football and he could year the shouts anytime the Rainbows scored, but this was OK. Part of parenting was that sometimes you had to be adjacent to the action for the sake of your kid and Grace wanted to swim more than she wanted to sit with a bunch of dudes screaming about plays and calls.

“No wonder you’re so concerned about her growing up. She’s a cutie.” Lou said as he handed a beer down to Danny and sat beside him. Danny stretched his back. He was used to most everyone being taller than him, but Grover was at least 4 or 5 inches taller than Steve, which made him a foot taller than Danny. Just another reason Danny felt uncomfortable with him.

“Mine is 15 now.” Lou handed him his phone with her picture.

Danny accepted it. “She’s beautiful. What’s her name?”

“Samantha. I have a boy too, about Grace’s age.”

Danny handed the phone back and looked out a Grace again.

“You know, I went through ice storms in Chicago warmer than you. Any chance we can try and push for a spring thaw here?”

“Not even two weeks ago, you filed a report against my partner. And that is after you pointed a loaded shotgun in his face. So, we’re living in Antarctica as far as I’m concerned.”

“Well, to be fair you and your partner pointed guns in my face first. As to the other, McGarrett’s not a cop. You and Lieutenant Kelly both seem to have to have forgotten how he comes across to those of us who’ve spend more than three years carrying a badge. In fact, I’ve heard rumors that when you two first met, you had similar concerns about actions he took that were, shall we say, deep in the grey.”

“Five-0 isn’t HPD.”

“That much has been made crystal clear to me. And I’m trying to understand.”

“Then understand this: Steve has this thing about trusting people he shouldn’t. Because he wants to believe that ultimately, people make the right choices for the right reasons. That even when they show him who they really are; who he wants them to be may someday materialize. It’s so hopeful. It’s also stupid.

“I don’t know you and I don’t know what your angle is here, but until I do, we’re not friends. And while you may be able to serve as Galactus’ stunt double, if I find out that all of this smooth, Big Daddy, chumminess is part of trying to take him down, there will be no place you can go that I will not find you and make you bleed. You got me?”

Lou smiled and shook his head. “Just like Aunt Lucy’s terrier.”

“Excuse me?”

“Your warning is duly noted, Detective. And just, y’know, so we’re completely transparent here: I’m not looking to get in the middle of...whatever this is you two have goin’ on. I’m just a guy lookin’ to make some friends. That’s it.”

“My Nana used to say that you make a friend by being a friend.”

“Funny, that’s what my Memaw used to say too. All I’m asking for is the chance.”

Danny tilted his head a little. “Steve gave you that already. Let’s see what you make of it.”

“You’re not very Aloha.”

“Not even a little bit.”

“Alright. Nice chatting with you, Williams.” He stood and walked back into the house. Danny turned to watch him go and saw Steve looking out at them from the backdoor.

5050505050

After the game, most folks left. Grover stayed behind for a little while to help clean up, but Danny’s continued coolness made things awkward enough that once dishes were done, he said his goodbyes.

Grace was watching a movie about some kind of singing summer camp and Steve motioned for Danny to join him on the lanai.

“What’s really your issue with Lou?” Steve asked as they sat in their chairs looking out at the surf.

“Why are you so willing to put him in line to be Best Man at your wedding?”

Steve wasn’t really in the mood for Danny’s silly jealousy so he said, “Don’t be ridiculous. Chin will be the Best Man at my wedding.”

Danny looked at him, eyebrows raised. “You really... You know what? I don’t even like you.”

He stood up, pulled off his shirt, stripped down to his boxers and took off for the water. Steve watched him go. Sometimes Danny just needed to burn himself out a little.

Twenty minutes later, Danny came out of the water and Steve pulled a towel out of the box by the door. He handed it to him as he came up on the grass.

“You ready to talk now?”

“You ready to stop being an asshole?”

“Soooo a little ocean time didn’t help.” Steve put his hands in his pockets. “I’m not looking for a new parter, Danny.”

“But you do want to make him Five-0.” Danny countered.

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to. I know you. You wouldn’t bring him out with you on cases if you weren’t thinking about it. You want to see if he actually has skills, which clearly he does. And you want to know how he’ll react when ‘immunity and means’ gets played. I **do** know what is going on here, so how about you stop dismissing me as a jealous lover and not the man who’s been getting shot at by your side for almost three years.”

“My gut says he’d be a great asset.”

“My gut says there’s more going on here.”

“Like what?”

Danny wrapped the towel around his waist and ran his fingers through his hair before sliding his boxers off under the towel. Steve swallowed down the rush of arousal he felt at Danny wet and naked in front of him, needing to focus on what they were discussing. Danny sat on the bench by the door to put his pants and t-shirt back on.

“We’ve had a couple moments lately where we’ve pulled HPD’s pigtails and cuffing their SWAT team was the worst one yet. That’s just not something the blue line is gonna forget easily. I try not to throw the fact that you’ve never worked as a beat cop in your face, but the fact is, you haven’t. Same way I’ve never served in the military. I know that’s not my world and I don’t understand the culture. But you act as though you know what it’s like to be a patrol officer and you don’t.”

“OK. I’ll concede that point.”

“Thank-you. Lou Grover didn’t get to his rank being a maverick. Black officers...way more than white officers...aren’t allowed to get away with much of anything. I saw black rookies get busted down by IA or Command so fast for stuff I knew white Sergeants has been getting way with for years. Dumb stuff too, like timeliness of reports or missed entries on tickets. So for him to get to the rank he has, he followed the rules. And that tells me he’s not going to take too kindly to us not following them. Especially someone he doesn’t even believe has earned the badge you wear.”

“Which is why I’m bringing him in. So he can see who we are and what we do.”’

“And that’s a great strategy if his agenda is to actually work with us. But he’s already reported you to the Governor once. Bringing him close also gives him eyewitness access to what we do and how we do it. Why are you so certain that he’s not playing along just enough to bury us? That’s why I’m nervous.”

“You think he’s under with us?” Steve asked.

“Why are you shocked by that suggestion? IA put Kono under without telling us. The Governor embedded Lori with us. You don’t think anyone with half a brain will have figured out that coming at us direct doesn’t work? Undercover is exactly how they’d play it. It’s how we would play it.”

“Danny, you haven’t seen what I’ve seen. OK? I hear what you’re saying, but he carries some pain, just like we do. And he’s willing to push right over the same lines we do if he has to.”

“Babe, I’ve gone so far over the line to maintain my cover I couldn’t even see it anymore. If he’s under, that is exactly what he would do to gain our trust. Look, I hope I’m wrong. I really do. I’m just saying maybe we don’t give him the keys to the castle just yet, that’s all.”

“Well, now that Kono is home, we’re back to normal.”

Danny shifted. “Well, plus one. Which is something else we haven’t talked about.”

“You were good with Catherine coming on board.”

“I am. But that makes us a team of five now. Who’s her partner?”

Steve’s jaw tensed. “I don’t know.” Danny looked at him, waiting.

“Will you please stop? You are my partner. End of story. And I’ve always assigned each of you to the task I need you to do. That’s not changing either.”

“All I’m saying is that if you keep sidelining me, we’re gonna have problems.”

“Pretty sure you sidelined yourself today.”

“That was different.”

“Oh, it was? You decided to take lead on an investigation that should’ve been HPD’s all on your own and then spent several hours hanging out at the hospital with the victim, who clearly makes your cock tingle, so yeah, please talk to me about how that’s different.”

“She’s from New York.”

“So?”

“So, that’s why she’s interesting. She’s not from here. And yeah, she’s adorable. But she’s also 28.”

“Oh. You wanna date the babysitter?”

“She is not the babysitter.”

“By my math, she was a junior in high school when Gracie was born, so you’ll be dating the babysitter.” Steve smiled teasingly at him.

“Shaddup. You’d want to date her too. She’s cute.”

Steve glanced inside to see if Grace was near by and said, “Only cutie I want to date is you.”

“Don’t call me cute.” Danny said, trying not to smile.

“How about I won’t call you cute and you cut me some slack about Grover.”

Danny stood up and went to stand chest to chest with Steve. “Look at me babe.”

Steve did, his breath quickening from Danny’s closeness. “I am cutting you slack. I’m not cutting him any. ‘Cause if this goes south, I’m the one that catches you. Understand?”

“I know. But please believe me when I say that I think you’re wrong on this. I trust you with everything and I’m not being contrary here. I think he’s solid.”

“OK.” Danny set his hand on Steve’s stomach hoping to communicate his feelings through the touch. Steve placed his hand over Danny’s. They held each other’s gaze for few moments, then Danny backed away and called out, “All right Monkey, time to pack it up.”


	35. S4. E14 Na hala a ka makua (The Sins of the Parents)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grover is pissed at Steve for playing him for a fool for the second time. Especially when the consequences are so deadly. Leading both Steve and Danny to realize that distance between them can cause more harm than good.
> 
> **Note on the English Translation of the Title**  
> In several sources, the title translates as Sins of the Father, but the noun form they used is plural, inclusive, not male singular, so I changed it. Particularly because in the show, the “sins” present are not only Parrish’s, but also Steve’s and Danny’s. The episode ends with both men talking about Grace, clearly proud as hell of her, so...Parents.

As Chin and Catherine took off to track Lynch, Lou Grover wheeled on Steve and Danny.

“Y’know McGarrett, I’m gettin’ real tired of you lying to me so you can let bad guys escape.”

Steve squared up in front of him. “He had a gun on Danny. He was gonna kill him while Gracie listened on the phone! I had to get us past that check point. I’d do it again and I don’t give a fuck what you think about it.”

“Well maybe you need to start working out a Kid Code or somethin’ so that I don’t keep ending up my dick in my hand and ass hanging out every time I decide to trust you!”

“You wanna come at me?” Steve inched closer, hands balled into fists.

“Alright, that’s enough.” Danny put his hand on Steve’s belly and pushed him a few feet away. Steve walked back but wouldn’t break eye contact with Grover. Danny stood in front of him, hand still on his abdomen.

“Steve.” Danny said with full command in his voice. Steve looked at him. “Enough.”

Steve nodded slightly and took a deep breath. Grover watched them carefully, gaining some understanding, but not liking it any better. He watched as Danny turned and stood slightly behind and to the right of Steve.

Danny was positioned so it wasn’t obvious, but he had his left hand flat against the middle of Steve’s back, tapping a heart-pulse rhythm with his first two fingers. Steve kept his breathing steady and was calmed by the repeating beat.

Grover clasped his hands in front, and spoke quietly. “That’s the second time that you rolled on me because someone you love was in trouble. There’s a reason cops don’t do ‘Bring your Daughter to Work Day.’ You make your decisions by your heart and not your head and people can die. That’s a big problem for me.”

“I do what I have to do to protect my team.”

“And I admire that. I do. At some point though, that ego of yours is gonna bring down one of my men and when that happens, the guilt’s gonna bury you. I’m actually trying help you here, man.”

Steve glanced back at Danny, who paused his fingers. “You OK?” Steven nodded and looked back at Grover.

“When we get Parrish back in custody, you and I can sit down and have a talk about this. And I will listen. OK?”

Grover looked from Steve to Danny and said. “Thank-you.” Steve walked past him to head to the car. Danny made to follow and Grover stepped in front of him.

“That’s some trick you got.”

“You’d rather the Commander of Five-0 and the Captain of SWAT go to blows in the back yard of a dead guy’s house while a fugitive is on the loose? Y’know you could stand to learn a few lessons in time and place, pal.”

“I know you know I’m right. And if he responds to you like that, then you have obligations here too.”

“I’m aware of my obligations. Excuse me.” Danny pushed around him and followed Steve to the car.

5050505050

Steve and Danny stayed with the downed officer’s body until Max arrived. Grover hadn’t said anything, but both of them knew what he was thinking: If Parrish wasn’t loose, Lynch wouldn’t have set up Lauren to call him and the officer would still be alive. Blowing the roadblock didn’t set this up, but letting Parrish escape was on them. Once Max had collected the body and a tech drove the patrol car back, Danny clapped his hand on Steve’s back.

“I’m gonna drive back.” Danny said.

“Yeah.” Steve said. He handed Danny the keys to their borrowed Impala. As they drove down through the park, Steve tapped his fingers on the dash.

“Can we...I don’t want to go back yet.”

“Where do you want to go?”

“Just for a walk.”

“OK. Where?”

“Anywhere. Just pull over.” Danny did. Steve got out and Danny followed as Steve walked into the woods.

“Gracie still grounded?” Steve asked after they’d been walking for a few minutes.

“Well, that’s probably not gonna stick. She was standing up for her friend and I’d rather she do that than let this Lucas kid get think he can bully girls without repercussions.”

They came up to a fallen tree and Steve sat down, Danny sat beside him.

“Grover was right. I killed Officer Mitchell.”

“No, Lynch, or one of his guys, did that. But we did get ourselves into a bind by not securing him before investigating.”

“Which you told me to do.”

“Yeah.”

“I fucked this up. If I’d not focused on keeping my word to Parrish, he’d still be alive too.”

“I think what’s more important is what are you gonna do moving forward? We make lots of decisions and then we have to live with them. We debrief so we can learn where we can do better. Honestly, we haven’t done a lot of that lately; any of us. And the rest of us aren’t window dressing, you know. I don’t argue with you because I like it. I argue with you because sometimes my experience is different than yours.”

“I should have listened to you today.”

“I agree. I’m also grateful that you were thinking clearly enough to get us out of that road block because I couldn’t. I froze and had nothin’. This is why we need each other.”

“And maybe why we need Grover?”

“Maybe. He saved our necks today, so that counts for something with me. Still not sure I’m ready to have him on the team, but he’s worth getting to know better.”

“You know why we’re here right now?”

“Yeah. I’ve been topping you since Akama’s, so yeah I know. I’m not sure I want to though.”

“I need you to do this.”

“I know.”

“Then what’s holding you back?”

“Because when we do this normally, it takes all my strength to not fuck you after and it’s been a while, so I already know I’m not gonna be able to stop myself if we do this.”

“I’m fine with that.” Steve leaned into him bumping shoulders and smiling.

“Earlier, when you and Lou were about to go at it, he told me that if I had that kind of sway over you, then it meant I had an obligation to you, to HPD, to the team.”

“He said that?”

“Not in those words, but it was implied. And he’s right. I think...I can’t help but wonder if you aren’t listening to me when you should because I’m not reigning you in. Which makes me just as culpable today as you are.”

“I don’t agree with that. I’m still the Commander and these are my calls. But we have been more distant and having you step in today...it did calm me down and got my head where it needed to be. And it’s why I want to do this. It’s part of how you make me a better leader.”

Steve reached into the lower leg pocket of his cargo pants and pulled out a small, single-use packet of neosporin and handed it to Danny, who looked at it and gave Steve a confused look.

“It’s petroleum-based. Better than spit.”

“Still not very much in here.”

“It’ll be enough.”

Danny hopped off the tree and pulled Steve’s knife from his pocket, handing it to him. “No bigger than half an inch in diameter, preferably less.”

“Like a centimeter?”

“Yeah, sounds right.” Steve walked way and came back with a thin branch from a eucalyptus tree.

“Will this work?” Danny looked it over. It was still wet enough he could bend it.

“Yeah. Needs the bark and leaves stripped off. Make it as smooth as possible.”

They sat on the fallen tree again while Steve whittled.

“When you told me about getting called to Gracie’s school...I felt a little jealous that I don’t get those calls too.”

“Well, I’m sure they called Rachel first. But she leaves the discipline up to me, which is frustrating sometimes.”

Steve glanced at him. “You’re good at it.”

“Says the man who’s ass I’m about to switch.” Danny rubbed his hands together with some nervousness.

“You are. You listen well and want all the facts so you can be fair, but still hold people to account. I see you do that with perps too. No one wants to disappoint you.” Steve folded his knife and handed the cleaned, smooth branch over to him. It smelled strongly of eucalyptus oil.

Took it and he could feel the sap on his hands. “Steve, I don’t know if this will sting or irritate your skin.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Do you know that or are you choosing not to care so I won’t change my mind?”

“Danny, the aboriginal tribes in Australia use eucalyptus all the time for healing, colds, whatever. I’ll be fine.” He pulled his challenge coin and tucked it in Danny’s front pocket.

“I don’t want that back until later tonight.” Danny nodded.

Steve placed his hands on his buckle and paused, “Don’t hold back.”

Danny crossed his arms, the switch between then. “No more out of you or you’re gonna regret it. Pants down, hands on the tree.”

Steve complied. And he looked back to see what Danny was doing. He felt a firm hand on the back of his head turning him forward. “Eyes straight ahead. You look back at me, I’ll blindfold you and your count doubles. Say yes if you understand.”

“Yes.” Steve found a point straight ahead to focus on and flexed his fingers on the tree. He could hear Danny waving the thin branch through the air and he desperately wanted to ask him what he was doing, but stayed focused.

“Breathe.” Danny said as he placed a hand on Steve’s back, again tapping his fingers in rhythm and Steve breathed in and out every two beats. “That’s it. Tell me why we are doing this.”

Steve took a few deep breaths. “We had Parrish in custody and we should have secured him at the Palace before interrogating Akama. I ignored you when you told me that was the wiser course of action and my recklessness got people hurt.”

“Try again.”

“My recklessness got people killed.” Tears were already falling and his breath was catching.

“It will be hard, but try to focus your breathing. In-2-3, out-2-3.” Danny’s hand went away and Steve didn’t know how far away he was. He felt alone.

He heard it move through the air before it landed and he grunted with the pain. Danny must have shifted or switched hands because he could feel that the second one landed from the other direction. His ass was on fire and it was only the second hit.

Danny had landed the first one right across the middle, with the second and third ones landing above and below the center line. The forth was low, where Steve’s thigh’s curved to meet his ass. That one hurt a lot, and Steve finally cried out. Danny gave him a moment before landing across the middle again. The fifth and sixth one’s crossed the other lines at an angle, forming an X.

“We’re done.” Danny said, rubbing his hand over the marks he made.

“Fuck, Danny, that hurts.” Steve was sniffling.

“And it’s gonna hurt for a while.” He kept rubbing his hand over the surface of his skin, careful not to apply pressure. That would happen, but he needed Steve to catch his breath first.

When he could hear that Steve was able to breathe on the counts again, he opened his fly and lubed himself up with the stuff Steve had given him. It was better than nothing, but nowhere as much as he would normally use to penetrate Steve.

Danny pushed on Steve’s back and he bent forward, resting his chest against the tree, head on his arms. When Danny pushed against the sore flesh to spread him open, Steve cried out, but Danny didn’t stop. He felt Danny enter him and he moaned because he’d been desperate for this for months, but his ass hurt so much...he focused on his breathing and let his mind go blank.

Hard hands grabbed him and he knew that Danny’s thumbs were pressing against the marks on purpose. Every thrust scraped across his prostate and flooded him, but also brought the slap of Danny’s skin and the edges of his open fly against his ass and stung him deep. He knew he was leaking a steady stream of fluid out his achingly hard cock, but he couldn’t even bring himself to move. Danny would decide if he came or not.

Steve’s mind floated through images from the day. The look on the face of the officer he blew past evading their pursuit. Grover’s tirade at him earlier. The body of the officer in the car and Danny saying “He’s gone.” Lauren laying over the body of her father.

He hadn’t even realized Danny had pulled out, but he could feel come leaking out of him and felt a hand on his cock.

“Come back to me baby, that’s it.” He stroked him at the tip, using Steve’s precum to slick his fingers. He increased the speed and pressure right behind his glans until the pressure built and when Steve came, he felt the rush, easing some of the physical pain, but his heart felt worse, like he didn’t deserve it and was ashamed by Danny’s giving him that little bit of comfort.

Danny pulled only his boxer briefs up first and Steve immediately understood why. The snug cotton dragged against his marked and sweaty skin, and he winced. “Ah-ah-ah.”

“I know babe. We’ll go slow.” Once they were back on he told Steve to stand up. Danny bent down to help bring his pants back up high enough Steve could manage himself.

“You’re staying at my place tonight.” Danny told him.

“What about Grace?”

“Kono had already asked if Grace could do a sleep over with her so they could catch up.”

Danny brushed the bits of tree bark and forest debris off of Steve’s chest from where he leaned on the tree. He took hold of Steve’s hand and walked them back to the car.

“Ride back is gonna be the worst. This car handles for shit.”

“Now you tell me.”

5050505050

When they got back to the Palace, Kono had already secured new phones for them and she and Chin returned the car to motorist Steve and Danny had helped carjack earlier. She figured the guy had seen enough of them already. Plus she never gave up a chance to ride on Chin’s bike.

Steve immediately texted the Ohana group chat that they would have dinner at the Na Lani Sky Lounge tonight before heading home to change. He hoped he would be able to do this without seeing Catherine.

“Danny, I want to invite Grover.”

“Good idea.” Danny agreed.

Steve dialed his number.

“Hey Lou. We’re having dinner tonight at Na Lani if you’d like to join us.”

“Who’s gonna be there?”

“Ohana. The team, Kamekona and Flippa, Grace.”

“Williams know you’re asking me?”

“Yeah. His idea actually.”

“Ok. I’m in. What time?”

“1930. And Lou?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m really sorry. I fucked up today and...and for what it’s worth, if I’d listened to Danny...”

“Maybe you can be taught.”

“I’d like to think so.”

“See you tonight McGarrett.”

5050505050

“You think they’ll notice if we just lean against this bar all night?” Steve asked.

“Probably. ‘Sides, hard for the message to sink in if you keep avoiding it.”

“Just because this is part of it doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

Danny locked eyes with him. “You’re not supposed to like it.” Steve nodded.

“Your order, sir” The Bartender said behind him.

They both turned. Danny waved at Chin to come help carry.

~~~~~~~~~  
As the group broke up, Steve pulled Catherine aside to talk to her about staying with Danny, leaving Danny sitting by himself because Kono and Grace had left 20 minutes ago. Lou pulled up a chair next to him.

“So you’re alone for the night?”

Danny glanced instinctively at Steve and then at Lou. “Uh, not exactly.”

“Oh, like a boy’s night?”

“Sort of.” Danny studied him.

“Like pulling blood of from a stone with you isn’t it?”

“How about that?” Danny shrugged.

“He told me should have listened to you.”

“I was there.”

“Ah. Of course. OK. I meant what I said earlier, that I’m trying to help. This task force is something special. The way you work is problematic, but you are good people. And you are tight, which...I’ve never experienced anything like it. If y’all can figure out how to keep that part but balance the other...it’d be hard to argue against it.”

“That what you’re doing? Arguing against it?”

“Haven’t decided yet. You still think I’m out to get McGarrett?”

“Haven’t decided yet.”

Steve came up next to Danny. “You ready?”

“Yeah.” Danny and Grover stood. Steve held out a hand and Lou shook it.

“Lou, if you’re willing, I’d like to meet for breakfast next Tuesday. You available?”

Lou looked at Danny, who held up a hand. “I have no opinions on any pancake-related discussions.”

“It’s a date.”

Danny cleared his throat and Steve put a hand on Danny’s back. “See you later.”

“Bye now.”

5050505050

When they got back to Danny’s place, Danny said, “Go lay on the bed. Pants off, but you can leave your shirt on if you prefer.” He then went to the freezer and put ice in a gallon-size ziplock bag, grabbed a bottle of water, stopped in the bathroom for some aloe and ibuprofen and headed to his bedroom. Setting everything down on the dresser, he walked and sat beside his partner.

Steve had opted to strip completely and had pulled the covers down and laid on his tummy, head on a pillow. Danny stroked his head.

“How you holding up?”

“OK. Hurts.”

“OK, I’m gonna take care of that in a minute. How are you feeling here?” He tapped Steve on the forehead.

“Like it wasn’t enough.”

“Hmm. Hand me your phone.” Steve reached over to the night stand to grab it and pass it to Danny, taping in he code.

Taking it, Danny stood, opened the Camera app and took a picture of Steve’s backside. “You can delete this whenever you want. But I want you to look at it.”

He gently rubbed the marks with aloe, being careful not to push too hard on the now swollen welts. Went to a drawer and pulled out a clean t-shirt and laid it across Steve’s ass and then laid the bag of ice on top.

“It’s not going to feel very cold at first, but it will eventually. Let me know if it gets too cold.” Danny pulled the covers up and over Steve’s waist. Then he passed him the bottle of water and two pills. Steve shook head.

“Take them.” Danny ordered. Steve rolled his eyes and swallowed them.

Danny stripped down to his underwear and climbed in next to Steve, sitting with his back against the head board. “Can you carefully scoot so your head is in my lap?

“Yes.” Steve pulled himself over so he could wrap his arms around Danny’s waist and kissed his belly above his waistband. “Can I?”

“Not right now.”

Danny caressed him, down his shoulder and arm and Steve closed his eyes and let himself be touched softly, with almost tickling lightness. His whole body shivered as the cold from the ice was starting to penetrate through the t-shirt.

Danny reached down and pulled the covers up higher. “The ice is there to help with the swelling. It’s cold but important. What did you see in the picture?”

“My butt.”

“Very good, Einstein. What else?”

“They’re a much darker red than I expected.” Danny made an encouraging noise indicating Steve needed to say more. Steve pulled his phone from under the pillow and looked at it again.

“I hadn’t realized you’d done a pattern. The one here,” he pointed to the lowest one, “that one hurt the worst. And I think the middle one you did twice. That’s why its a bit wider than the others.”

“Anything else?”

“At first, it surprised me, because it looked less impressive than it felt. But the more I look at it, you marked me pretty hard.”

“Does Catherine know about this side of things?”

“Not really. But it will be pretty hard to hide this so that’s a conversation I have coming. And...she wasn’t very happy that I was coming here tonight.”

“I had a feeling. But you needed aftercare and I wasn’t going to trust that to anyone else.”

Steve hugged him. “I would have been really upset if you had. No one else can do this.”

“No, they can’t. And shouldn’t. Taking care of you is my responsibility.”

Steve nuzzled him, mouthing at his cock through is boxer-briefs. “Steven. What did I say?”

“Sorry. But you put my face right here.” Danny gave him a look and Steve gave him a long blink. “Which was of course the point.”

“Guess Grover’s not the only one who is thick-headed?” Danny smiled.

“Hey, in my defense, I haven’t had your cock in my mouth in so long I’ve forgotten what it feels like, so you can’t blame me.”

“When you look at the picture, does it feel like enough?” Danny asked, bringing the conversation back to where it needed to be.

“I mean, it definitely left an impression. When you were doing it, all I could see were the faces of those I’d hurt or disappointed with my actions today. And that’s still there. Every time I move, or sit, I think about them. But no one else besides me and you know this happened. So on the one hand, yeah, I believe I will make different decisions in the future because this is not something I will forget. But on the other, Officer Mitchell’s family is still devastated. Lauren still has to bury her father.”

“Exactly. This discipline works for you to a certain point. But it’s not going to be everything. There are other reparations that need to be made, even if no one else asks for them. You didn’t kill Mitchell, Lynch did. Same for Parrish. But you know that you could have acted in a way that prevented those things from happening. So yes, between us, we can recognize what this is. But it’s going to feel lacking until you do the second part and that is on you. I can’t really help with that. I’m drawing attention to it because if you thought this would be all it took, I knew you would be unhappy.”

“Speaking of...why did you make me come? The other times we’ve done this, not letting me come, or making me wait was a big part of it. Today though, you didn’t.”

“Why do you think I did that?”

“Ugh, the answering questions with another question thing is really annoying.”

“Is it?” Danny teased. Steve bit gently into Danny’s cock through the fabric. “You’re impossible.”

“I know.” Steve smiled. “It’s why you love me.”

“Alright, now that you’ve avoided answering your own question, you wanna drop it or work through it?”

Steve sighed. “Fine.” He thought seriously about it for a moment. “Because this time I didn’t want it. And when we’re like this, if you know I want something, you do the opposite.”

“It’s not quite as simple as that, but the whole point is supposed to be that you are giving me control, which is obviously very difficult for you to do. Denying you that control is what I have to do in order for you to get where you to surrender for a while. So the more you try to control, the more I’m going to deny it.”

“I feel like we’ve talked about this before.”

“We have, but it’s been a while. What do you want right now?”

Steve nudged Danny’s length with his nose. “Go ahead.” Steve moved one hand to Danny’s waistband but Danny held it. “Not yet.”

Steve smiled at him and mouthed at Danny through his underwear, using his teeth and pressure in a way he wouldn’t against flesh. Danny grew thicker and harder, which made them both moan. “Please, Danny...”

Danny slid his boxer-briefs lower and Steve no longer felt in a hurry. It had been eight months since he’d had Danny like this (he didn’t count Thanksgiving) and didn’t know when he’d be allowed to be this close again. He gave long licks, from base to tip, moving slowly around, tasting from all sides. He could hear Danny’s breath and deep sounds, like a song he loved but hadn’t heard in years.

Using his tongue more than his lips, he lapped and circled playfully, wondering if Danny was going to take control and stop the teasing. He looked up to find his partner smiling at him. Steve’s heart swelled.

“God, I love you.”

“Love you too, babe.” Danny answered, hand caressing Steve’s head.

“I...I wanna hear you.” Steve said, but it was also an ask, because the way Danny would talk to him in these moments, at the end of his sub times, he’d hear the words in his head later.

“You will.” Steve smiled and ran his tongue around Danny one more time before swallowing him down as deep as he could.

5050505050

During the night, Danny had gotten up and reapplied aloe and changed the ice bag a couple times while Steve slept. By morning, the welts had flattened and they’d deepened to a purple color. He was concerned about how Catherine was going to react but that wasn’t his conversation to have. She and Steve had appeared more distant lately, but he’d intentionally not asked and Steve hadn’t offered.

Steve groaned with sleepiness as he woke up and turned to look at him. “How’s it look?”

Danny blinked, “Um...it’s...fine.”

Steve propped himself up on his elbows. “Fine isn’t what you were gonna say at first. C’mon. Spill.”

“You want another picture?” Danny asked.

Steve thought about it and grabbed his phone. “Yeah.”

Danny took one and handed it back. Steve looked at it and then looked back at himself, as much as he could see. He touched one of the cross-marks at the top by his hip. It ached, but when he pushed down, it hurt but in a way he found he liked, even though it made him wince a little.

“I wish I could see them better.”

“They are...a bit mesmerizing.” Danny agreed, running his fingers lightly along them.

“You like them.” Steve said, smiling at him.

Danny tilted his head. “It’s not seeing you bruised that I like. When you have bruises from a fight or...or... when you do something stupid...those I don’t like. But these...knowing the trust you placed in me... Yeah, I like them.”

Sitting up, Steve cursed against the ache, but pulled Danny closer so he stood between his legs, kissing up his abdomen and chest, then leaned back.

“I’m afraid to ask, but I have to...is this a one-time thing or...”

“I don’t know. Things are still...there’s Grace to consider...and Catherine.”

Steve closed his eyes and nodded, leaning his forehead against Danny, who held his head tenderly.

“My...uh..my folks are coming to visit.”

Steve looked up. “They are? When?”

“In about a week.”

“That’s great. I can’t wait to meet them. How long will they be here?”

“A few weeks. They’re...uh...they can be a handful. You think I’m Jersey...”

“No, man, bring it on. I can’t wait to hang with them. I have so many questions.”

“No. No, no, that is not what this will be. You don’t get to interrogate my parents.”

“Nah, of course not.” Steve smiled a look Danny knew all to well. “What time do we pick them up?”

“We? No, there’s no we picking them up.” Danny tried to pull out of Steve’s arms but they only tightened around him

“You don’t tell me I’ll just have Kono pull the manifests from every flight out of New Jersey for the next 10 days.”

“Fine. Next Thursday, 1345.”

“Excellent. Ohana dinner at my place next Thursday night.” Danny shook his head in surrender.

“You know what, watching you go head to head with Pop is gonna be hilarious.”

“Nah, man, parents love me.”

“I love you.”

“I know. Which is why we’re gonna go take a shower so I can fuck that tight little ass of yours.”

Danny gave him a leering smile and he pulled him up off the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next three episodes with Clara Williams are ones I dove into in another fic, Madness in My Soul. As I thought through it, aside from tweaking Steve and Danny’s relationship status, I kept going back to dialogue and plot from that one and it felt too repetitive to me. So, if you’d like my take on those, check out that story. For this one, I’m gonna skip ahead and our next chapter will be E19.


	36. S4: E 19 Ku I Ka Pili Koko (Blood Brothers)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the bombing isn’t as easily wrapped up as it seems.

After three days in the hospital, Danny was going stir crazy. The puncture wound to his abdomen had lacerated part of his small intestine, so he needed surgery and then a drain put in. He had to be on IV antibiotics and when he started to run a fever, on the second day, they told him he had to stay in the hospital until it went down.

Grace stayed with Steve and Catherine because Rachel was still gone and she didn’t want to be home with Stan who had his hands full with Charlie. Steve loved having her live with him. In addition to taking her to see Danny every day, he dove right in to making breakfast each morning and packing her lunch, getting her to school, and taking her to cheer practice after. They’d visit Danny for dinner each night and when Grace learned Steve had never read Charlotte’s Web, she insisted that he read it to her before bed.

“You know, that pig Wilbur reminds me of Danny.” Steve said, as he and Catherine got ready for bed.

“Why is that?” Catherine asked.

“He’s afraid of everything, which I guess is fair because folks have been trying to kill him since birth. But he manages to find a best friend who looks out for him and helps him gain confidence.”

“I see. So if Danny is Wilbur, then are you figuring that you’re Charlotte?” She squinted her eyes at him, like she was trying to see if he was kidding.

“Well, yeah. I mean, she’s smarter than he is, and resourceful. She basically changes his life.”

“Uh-huh. You haven’t finished the book yet have you?”

“No. They just got to the fair.”

“OK. Well, you might want to do that.”

“Why?”

“No reason.” She tried to hide a smile.

“What? It’s a children’s book. You’re acting like there’s gonna be some plot twist like Charlotte is really a spy undercover for the town butcher.”

They climbed into bed and Catherine rolled her eyes at him. “It is a children’s book, not a Tom Clancy novel.”

“Exactly. So why’re you acting like I don’t know what’s coming. It’s a great story about love and friendship. Charlotte will save Wilbur and he gets to live a nice life with Fern, who is Gracie, by the way.”

She kissed him. “Good night Steve.” She turned on to her side, facing away from him.

“What’s gonna happen? Wilbur doesn’t die anyway does he? Cath?”

She rolled onto her back, “Now who is being like Danny?”

“Not funny.” Steve picked up his phone and texted Danny good night too. “I really love having Gracie here.” When he put his phone on the charger, he realized she was looking at him.

“What?”

“You’re a good substitute dad.”

He smiled. “Yeah?”

She nodded, “Yeah. But I think you know that.”

“And what do you think about that?” Steve said, leaning over her, as he ran fingers along her breast.

Her face grew serious, “I think it’s wonderful that you have Grace in your life.”

Steve’s eyebrows furrowed. “So, you’re...you still don’t want children, do you.”

“I don’t. I’m sorry. Grace is a great kid. And you’ve been enjoying every minute of having her here and doing the Dad thing. I can see how it lights you up. You should be someone’s dad someday.”

He gave her a sad smile. “Not like anyone’s lining up to make that happen.”

“There are plenty of women who would, I’m sure. There’s also one man who clearly is willing to share the job with you.”

He nodded and kissed her before rolling back to lay on his back. “Good night Catherine.

5050505050

A small hand brushed his arm and startled him awake. “Gracie? What is it?” She had tears on her face.

“I had a dream that Danno died.”

He sat up, feet on the floor and pulled her into a hug. “Shhh, it’s OK. He’s fine. He’s just fine.” He stroked her head and held her until she stopped crying.

“Let’s go wash your face and have some cocoa. OK?” He whispered. He glanced over at Catherine who was still asleep.

He walked her out to the hallway bathroom. “Hop up there.” He grabbed a washcloth and ran the water until it was very warm as she sat on the counter. After wetting it, he handed it to her. As she wiped her face, he asked, “Wanna tell me about it?”

“I have bad dreams a lot, mostly that the man who took me shoots Danno so he never finds me. This time, my phone rings and the man’s voice tells me I’m gonna watch Danno die. And even though it’s a phone, I can see him. The man had a gun, but he doesn’t shoot him...he makes him explode.” New tears fell and Steve grabbed a few tissues and handed them to her.

“You have dreams like this a lot?” She nodded. “What does your dad say?”

“Nothing. I don’t tell him. If I’m at his house, I just go into his room and make sure he’s there. If I’m at home, I get in bed with mom.”

“Gracie, why don’t you tell him?”

“Because he tries so hard to hide how dangerous his job is from me. When he sent Amber to get me, I wouldn’t leave with her until we found a police officer because I knew it must be bad if he sent her. If he was really OK, he would have sent you or Auntie Kono, maybe Uncle Chin but Danno doesn’t want me to ride his motorcycle.”

He smiled at her, “I wondered how it was you showed up in a blue & white. That was really good thinking.”

“She was really nice to me, but I’d only met her that morning and I...I don’t go with people I don’t know...anymore.” She looked down like she was ashamed.

“Hey, hey, don’t you feel bad about that. OK? He dressed like police officer and he knew just enough about you and your family to be convincing. He would have fooled me too.”

She shook her head, “I knew something was wrong. And I wanted to call you and make sure. If I had, Danno wouldn’t have shot Stan and...”

“Grace, I want you to listen to me. None of that was your fault. None of it. And we found you, right? Your dad, he’s a fighter. You are too, yeah? With that wicked right-cross you got, huh? So when the bad dreams come, that’s what you gotta do: punch ‘em out. OK? Remind yourself that because both you and Danno fought back, everything turned out alright.” He glanced at his watch. It was almost 0400.

“I know I said cocoa, but there’s still time for you to get some solid sleep in, so how about you try to sleep a little more and then we’ll get up early and go see Danno before school.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

He walked her down the hall to Mary’s old room and tucked her back into bed. “Will you stay? Please?” She asked.

“Of course.” He pulled a chair up next to the bed and took her hand, stroking the back with his thumb until she fell asleep.

5050505050

Rachel came back a few days later and Grace returned home. Danny had been released and was true to his word in taking Amber to Maui. He still had a stint, so no ocean for him, but he’d found a rental villa near the beach so they’d take walks in the sand. Their second day he’d thought all day about what Steve had said about drawing her closer. With Gabby, he hadn’t been truthful about who he was and how he lived his life. He didn’t want to do that with Amber and if she left, she left. After dinner, he’d build a small fire in the iron pit on the patio and they were drinking wine and watching the sunset. He took her hand and kissed it.

“I like you.” He smiled at her.

“I like you too, Jersey.”

“I’m glad. Uh, but there’s something we gotta talk about.”

“Sure. What’s up?”

Still holding her hand, he said, “You’re beautiful. And I really, really like our time together.”

She cocked her head, “You brought me to Maui to break up with me?”

“No. No, not at all. I’m an asshole, but not that much of an asshole.” She looked relieved.

“Oh good. I thought maybe Grace didn’t like me or something.”

“Nothing like that, no. But I do have to tell you something about myself that you should know and then decide if...if you still want to go out with me.”

She placed a hand on his cheek, “I can’t think of any reason I wouldn’t want to go out with you.”

He turned his face and kissed her palm. “Yeah, well, you haven’t heard it yet.”

After a few long moments, she said, “Let me guess, you have an annoying habit of starting conversations and then stop talking?”

He chuckled. “Yeah, that’s it. No, uh, sorry. Um, like I said, you’re beautiful. But I also...I also...sometimes...find men beautiful too.”

“Meaning....?”

“Meaning that sometimes I date women and sometimes I date men. Well, one man in particular.”

“Oh. Like at the same time? Like you want a threesome?”

“No.” He shook his head. “No, definitely not. It’s...”

“Just spill it, Jersey. You’ve been out here too long. Say what you need to say.”

“I’m in a relationship with a guy. Have been for almost two years. It’s a little on-again, off-again and we both also date women.”

She squinted at him. “It’s your partner, isn’t it. The guy you introduced me to.”

“Yeah.”

“Hell, I’d fuck him too. He’s hot.” She winked at him.

He squeezed her hand, “OK, that’s not gonna happen so get that thought out of your kinky little head.”

She smiled, “Spoilsport.”

“You don’t seem bothered by this.”

“I grew up in New York. You think you’re the first bi man I’ve ever met?”

“Meeting one and dating one are two different things.”

“Fair enough. So right now, is it on or off?”

“Uh, well, it’s...you met Catherine at the site of the...the...”

“She the white girl or the one who knew who I was?”

“White girl. Kono was the other one.”

“How’d she know my name anyway.”

“Kono is my buddy. She’s the one I talk to about things sometimes. I’d told her about you.”

“So Catherine is dating Steve?”

“Yes.” His jaw clenched subconsciously.

“You don’t like that.” She was studying him and he felt exposed.

“I don’t have any control over that. Steve is comfortable dating both of us at the same time.”

“But you’re not.”

“Not really. But I also have learned that when I try to date other people exclusively...he’s hard to resist.”

“And you work with him everyday, so I imagine that makes things tough.”

“Sometimes. Other times, it literally saves my life. So...what are you thinking?”

“Well...uh, I guess I don’t know yet. I mean, since we met have you...been with him?”

“Yes.” He searched her face. She seemed surprised.

“Oh. OK. So is this something you do at work?”

He shook his head. “Rarely. Our job is top priority and we’d never jeopardize a case for a blow job or whatever. But work keeps us together a lot. And honestly, even if we didn’t have this side to us, I’d still be with him most of the time.”

“So, I’m never really gonna know if you’re gone for a case or if you’re gone for a little quality time with your boyfriend.”

“Well, I can tell you, if that’s important. If you want to know.”

“But it sounds like you being with me, and only me, is not an option on the table?”

“I, uh, it should be, in a perfect world. And the last person I dated, that was how it was. It also didn’t really work out that well, for any of us, so that’s why I’m being upfront with it this time. I understand if this is not something you’re up for.”

“Do I get to date and have sex with other guys? I mean, if I want to. Don’t have any prospects at the moment.”

“I guess it’d be hypocritical of me to say no.”

She raised an eyebrow and nodded. “Like I said, I’m not shopping around or anything. But you are gone a lot.”

“Yeah, my job is a hard thing to compete with. Have an ex-wife to prove it.”

“And I don’t want to be someone who comes at you about your job. I think your job is pretty rad, even if it’s basically terrifying. You survived a building falling on you...so you must have a guardian angel somewhere.”

“Nah, they all took off as soon as I learned how to swear. I’m too much of a smart-mouth for angles or God or whatever to care about me.”

“Well, I for one like your smart-mouth. I like your mouth in general. It’s got hidden talents all its own.” She leaned over and kissed him.

“Oh, yeah?” He dragged the tip of his tongue along the roof of her mouth and she shivered from the tickle.

“Fuck yeah.”

5050505050

“How’s Maui?” Steve called Danny from his office.

”Maui is pretty much Oahu but with less you.”

“Really? So boring and you eat like shit.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know that I’ve not eaten pizza in three whole days.”

”Three days? You on a fast or somethin’?”

”No, I just happen to have found someone who can appreciate the value of a real slice and doesn’t try to pass off spam and pineapple as foods.”

”You two are a match made in the Holland Tunnel.”

”Damn straight. How’re things at the Palace?”

”Just fine. I’m not calling you about a case. I wanted to talk to you about Gracie.”

”Why?” He was suddenly alarmed. “What’s happened?”

”Will you calm down? You think I’d have chatted with you about pizza if there was something wrong? I’d have hijaked Kamekona’s helicopter and come get you myself. She’s fine.”

”OK, then what do you need to talk about?”

”I think she needs to see a therapist.”

”A therapist? Why?”

”She’s having nightmares. Frequently. She told me she hides them from you, but most of them are about Peterson and what happened with him. She said in a lot of her dreams, he kills you so you can’t save her. When she was here, her nightmare included Parrish calling to say he was going to kill you. Then, with what just happened...she’s had some real trauma, Danny.”

Danny cried a few silent tears. “Danny? You still there?”

”Yeah,” his voice cracked. “Yeah, I’m here. Uh, I’ll talk to Rachel.”

”I think Rachel knows but hasn’t done anything.” 

“I still have to talk with her, Steve.”

”OK. Whatever.” Steve said with frustration.

”Hey, I’ll take care of it. I know it’s hard for you, having to stand on the outside. But you have to let us handle it.”

”I know.” He didn’t think Danny had any idea how much he hated not being a full partner in Grace’s upbringing.

”We’ll be back tomorrow.”

”Alright. Be safe. I love you.”

”Love you too.”


	37. S4: 22 O Ka Pili‘Ohana Ka ‘Oi (Family Comes First)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou gets a painful lesson in “immunity and means” and the team brings him into Five-0. Which also means bringing him in on the truth about Steve and Danny.

Danny followed Lou Grover out of the warehouse, keeping his distance. When the man stopped and spoke his prayer, Danny paused. Sometimes he envied people who could believe in a god. His own lack of faith wasn’t lack of exposure or even from any dedicated kind of atheism. It was from a lifetime of seeing horrific things happen to people; starting with a car accident he and his Pop had come across when he was six.

The car had swerved across the turnpike, back and forth, hitting a few cars, before crashing into the concrete barrier. Pop had managed to avoid getting involved in the collision, but as soon everything came to a stop, his Pop had run to the car. Danny’d followed even though he’d been told to stay in the car. The driver was dead and the passenger was a kid, a few years older than him. He had a seatbelt on, but it hit him across the neck and when they crashed, the belt had cut into his throat and the dash collapsed against his legs, breaking them. The boy was still alive and Danny’d watched as his dad held pressure on the wound until more fire crews arrived. What he remembered was how the boy had cried that he wanted to die rather than live without his dad. Whenever someone talked to him about God, he would think back to that moment. Because if a god existed and let that happen, then what was the point of such a god? No one would ever convince him otherwise.

It was times like this though, where he could see why it appealed. It was the last possible thing to cling to when all hope was lost. Faith was the ultimate form of optimism. He knew that was why Steve could believe in God, but he couldn’t. As Lou collapsed to the ground, he walked to his side.

5050505050

Chin and Kono were gathering the pieces to make the fake bomb and Steve had gone to secure extra ammo, leaving Danny and Lou at the command table.

“You all have no reason to help me.” Grover said, standing at the table, head down.

“Every single one of us has the same reason. We’ve all stood where you are. We know what it feels like.”

“And you always win?”

“No.” Danny thought about Malia...and Jenna. “No, we don’t. But this ain’t over until it’s over and Steve, he, uh, doesn’t believe in failure. And we pretty much go where he points, y’know.”

“You think this plan is gonna work?”

“Honestly, it’s not even half as crazy as a lot of shit we’ve done, so, yeah.”

“Well, if this works, y’all will have my loyalty forever. Like in Star Wars, how Chewbacca owes Han Solo a life-debt.”

Danny smiled at that. “Well, how about when that beautiful young woman is back in your arms, you just invite us over for those babyback ribs Steve keeps claiming you can make and we’ll call it square.”

“Williams, we do this, I’ll barbecue for you all every Sunday night until I’m too old to hold the tongs.”

Steve came in and laid their rifles and clips on the table. Danny picked his up and inspected it. He hadn’t cleaned it in several weeks but it looked OK. Each of the team was responsible for their own weapons, since they used different ones based on body type and preference. They used to do it as a team their first year, but they fell out of practice as they got closer because it had been more about team bonding.

Steve elbowed him. “I cleaned it while you were in Maui.”

Danny gave him a look of thanks. “Surprised you didn’t take it out of my hide.”

“Who’s to say I still won’t.” Steve winked at him. Danny glanced at Lou, who didn’t seem like he was listening, but he felt the man was anyway.

Chin and Kono came in with a pretty impressive looking device. “Alright Captain, let’s get you taped up.

5050505050

After Lou left for his meeting with the Governor, Kono and Chin drove Samantha home. Steve was sitting in his office chair and Danny was on his desk.

“You think Wo Fat actually wants to talk or is this another mind-fuck?” Danny asked.

“Not sure. Not really where my mind is at right now.”

“Oh? And where is that?”

“Governor’s mansion. What do you think is gonna happen?”

“Honestly? I think they’ll force him to retire. If they want to make an example of him, they’ll take his pension.”

“Seriously? Nothing he did today is different than what we do all the time.”

“And we serve at the Governor’s discretion. But Grover’s HPD. And like I told you, African-American cops don’t get let off the hook.”

“Denning’s black.”

“Yeah. But it won’t help. If he goes to bat for Grover, what do you think the Police Guild and the press are gonna say?”

Steve shook his head. “If you’re right, you know what we gotta do.”

“Yeah.” Danny clasped his hands between his knees and looked down at Steve, waiting.

“But you don’t approve?”

“I didn’t say that. I think our Captain friend understands us pretty deep now.”

“So what is your hesitation?”

“I just think we’re better in twos, that’s all. Not saying that’s a reason for open recruitment, but I think it puts pressure on us, you especially, when one of us doesn’t have a designated partner.”

“You think Kono and Chin will be be ok with this?”

“Do I think either of them will have a problem with bringing on a former HPD officer who was fired for misconduct? No.”

“I’m still gonna bring them in before I decide for sure.”

“I think that’s good.”

Steve stood up and closed his office door, locking it and started closing the blinds.

“I was only kidding before, you know.” Danny said.

“Babe, if I spanked you every time you neglected weapon maintenance you’d never sit down.”

Steve walked back and stood between Danny’s legs. “This is just good, old-fashioned, horniness.” He kicked his chair out of the way and pulled Danny off the desk, turning him around. He kissed the back of his neck as he pulled things off his belt and set them on the bureau behind him. Danny unbuttoned the top of his shirt while Steve undid his fly and reached down into his boxers to grab his cock and stroked. Danny leaned back against Steve’s body, turning his head so their lips could meet.

He started to turn around but Steve stopped him. “Grab the desk.” Danny nodded and did as asked. Steve pulled Danny’s pants to his ankles and dropped to his knees. As soon as Danny felt Steve’s tongue, he let out a groan and went down to his elbows, widening his stance as far as his pants would allow.

“Fuck, Steve, that’s...ugh...you’re so good.” Steve reached between his legs and pulled his cock down and back. He licked at the tip, then let go and resumed his efforts at Danny’s ass. When he pushed his tongue into the tight hole, Danny moaned louder and Steve rubbed at his own nipples because the sounds Danny made were always music to him and spurred his arousal higher.

He stood and pulled open his second desk drawer. In the back was a small bottle of lube and set it on the desk. Looking down, he saw the small puddle of fluid Danny had leaked on his desktop. He ran a finger through it and put it in Danny’s mouth. The intense suction his parter responded with zinged straight to his cock and Steve seriously contemplated changing plans and having Danny blow him instead. But the desire to be inside Danny had been building since he saw Danny leave to go talk to Lou at the warehouse. Danny was a tough son-of-a-bitch, but when he opened his heart to you, he pulled you right to his core. It was one of the things he loved most about him.

“You having trouble deciding what to do next?” Danny said with a pant of arousal.

Steve kissed him, tonguing his mouth for several moments and then said, “Nope.”

He moved behind Danny, reaching down he pulled his partner’s cock down so it was perpendicular to the desktop, just like Danny had done to him before. Danny went flat against the desk. Steve drizzled lube down the crack of his ass and smeared it with his hand, sliding fingers in and stroking Danny’s prostate until Danny was making mewling noises again.

After opening his fly and slicking himself, he entered Danny slowly, eliciting more moans. Once he was all the way in, he ran his hands up Danny’s back, massaging his muscles. He felt Danny flex against him.

“Feeling impatient?” Steve asked as he ran his fingers lightly down Danny’s sides, causing him to buck from the tickle he caused.

“Just fucking move.” Danny growled.

Steve pulled out a tiny bit but stopped. “Like that?”

“Fuuuckk, no.” Danny cursed, hitting his head lightly against the desk.

Steve pushed back in the fraction he’d come out and tickled his fingers up and down, causing Danny to wiggle and squirm.

“Stop,” laughed. “Will you fuck me already?”

Steve thrusted in and out a few times and stilled, drawing his fingernails up Danny’s back. “Like that? Is that what you want?”

“You know it is, come on.” Danny tried to move, but he was pinned against the desk. “Please, I just need...”

Steve began moving, slow at first and then faster as Danny’s cries of “Yeah! That’s it” increased. When Danny began to pant, Steve stilled again and was met with, grunts of “No! Fuck you” as Danny’s building orgasm sank with denial.

“Dammit.” He rested his hands on his arms and breathed out his frustration.

Steve leaned over his back and whispered in his ear, “Maybe next time you’ll remember to clean and oil your rifle.”

“Son-of-a-bitch.”

Steve licked and bit at his ear. “I learned from the best.”

He was tired of playing though, so backed them up a few steps. “Help yourself” Steve said as he began to thrust again. Danny grabbed a hold of his heavy, leaking cock and stroked himself as Steve’s pace increased. By the time Steve came, Danny was not far behind.

There was a pack of baby wipes in one of the desk drawers from when Steve had Joan for the day, so they cleaned up and Danny said, “Let’s pray no one ever needs to come in here with a blacklight.”

Steve pulled Danny against him. “Stay with me tonight.”

“Everything OK?” Danny asked.

“Yeah. I miss sleeping with you.”

“I miss that too.”

5050505050

Three days later, the official inquiry was over and Captain Grover was forcibly retired. Steve called the team together to discuss bringing him into Five-0. There was some discussion about if they needed a sixth team member, but ultimately they voiced that they’d rather wait for someone to fit into the team naturally so they would remain an Ohana of five for the time being. Steve texted Lou to ask where he was and together, they headed to the golf course.

~~~~~~~~~

“We need to tell him.” Danny said as they drove to the course. Kono and Chin were following the Camaro in one of the Escalades.

“I think it’s too soon.” Steve answered.

“We either bring him in full or what are we doing here?”

“I don’t think he’s gonna be OK with it.”

“Then he can stay retired.” Danny said with conviction. “We can’t leave him out of this. Otherwise, when he does find out, he’s gonna resent us.”

~~~~~~~~

As Lou packed up his clubs, Danny walked over and put his arm around Kono, chatting as they walked to the parking lot. Steve tossed Chin a look, who gave him a slight salute and followed Danny and Kono.

“There more you wanna tell me?” Lou asked, reading the scene.

“Yeah. Before you get too used to that badge, I gotta let you in on something that the rest of the team knows already.”

“That you and Williams aren’t just buddies?”

“You know?”

“My first hint was how protective you are of each other, but when you’re fired up, he drops you to earth like a lead ball and that’s not something that happens between two people without a lot of practice. Plus, you two give each other doe-eyes a lot, even when your girls are around. Don’t know if you know that.”

“We’ve heard that before. Both of us try to be professional at work, but sometimes, we don’t even know we’re doing it. And you’re OK?”

“Not gonna lie to you and pretend it’s no big deal, but I’m realizing that being a part of this team means throwing out a lot of the old rule book and writing our own.”

“We don’t throw it out entirely. Danny says we’re ‘unorthodox’. I prefer ‘situationally creative’.”

“Whatever you are, I’m in.”

“Excellent.” Steve pulled out his phone and added Lou to the group chat. “Ohana dinner at my place tomorrow night. Bring your whole family.”

“We’ll be there.”

5050505050

Samantha, Will, and Grace were all playing in the water at the beach as Danny sat next to Renee, shaking her hand. “I’m Danny. Grace is my daughter.” He pointed to her.

“Lou mentioned you. He told me she went through something similar to Samantha.”

“Yeah, two years ago.”

“How’s she done since?”

“Uh, pretty well. It was rough at first because the situation involved her whole family and I...I shot her stepfather, though she, thankfully, didn’t see that. But she still has nightmares so my ex-wife and I are getting her some trauma therapy.”

“Did you tell her? Your wife?”

Danny’d heard through Steve that Mrs. Grover wasn’t too happy about her husband lying to her about what was going on with their daughter until after it was over.

“I’m sorry. You don’t have to tell me. You don’t know me.” Renee felt awkward and was still angry but trying to bury it for the sake of the kids.

“It’s OK. Its... uh, Rachel and I divorced before we came to Hawai’i, and it was she who told me that Grace had been taken, so yeah, she knew. But truth is, if the situation had been reversed...no, I wouldn’t have told her. Not until I had to. As it was, all she could do was sit at the police station and she had a few-week old newborn with her. Fortunately, we found Grace after about 8 hours, but if I could have spared Rachel those 8 hours, I would have.”

“She had a right to know what was going on with her baby.”

“I’m not saying she didn’t. But you asked me and I’m saying that if I’d been your husband in that position, yeah, I would have made the same call.”

“Men.” She gave him some serious side-eye. “You all think you’re so strong and tough as though women will fall apart at the first sign of trouble. You don’t know anything.”

Danny just nodded. He didn’t know what it was like for Rachel to be the one out of the loop, only able to worry. He only knew what it cost them. Hopefully Renee and Lou would be able to work through it better than he and Rachel had. With Lou now being Five-0, it was only going to get worse.

Changing topics, he asked, “If Samantha is good with toddlers, Grace has a step brother and Rachel’s always looking for good babysitters.”

“She’s always been good with Will. She was five when he was born and it was like she had a baby too.”

Danny smiled, “Grace was almost 10 when her brother was born. She was the same way.”

They continued to chat about the kids together. Danny liked her, admittedly more than he liked Lou, but maybe that was because he could see Steve and Lou bonding in a way that unsettled him. If he was honest, they were similar to how he and Kono were, but it still tickled his jealousies in ways he didn’t like admitting. But this was their Ohana now and he needed to adjust.

He looked up towards the house just as Steve, who was standing with Lou and Chin, looked at him. Steve winked at him and Danny smiled. They were in a good place.


	38. S5: E1 A’ohe Kahi e Pe’e Ai (Nowhere to Hide)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doris makes Catherine an offer she doesn't want to refuse and Danny goes too far in his psych eval in trying to prove he has no feelings for Steve whatsoever.

Catherine walked into the dark, smoky bar, scanning for her contact. She’d been told to look for someone with a red and blue sash, but no one she could see matched the description. She found a small table in a corner where she could see most of the room.

A waiter came and asked her what she wanted. She ordered tea, pita, and hummus. And tried to keep scanning. The waiter returned with a pot and cup and as he turned. A tall figure sat down next to her, no sash.

“You have the wrong table.” She spoke in Arabic.

The figure pulled the black scarf away and Doris McGarrett said, “Actually, I don’t.”

Catherine looked at her wide-eyed. “What are you doing here?”

“I have the intel you need to get the boy.”

“How did you even know who I was looking for.”

“I don’t have a lot of time so I need you to listen. The intel is solid and you’re gonna get him back in two days. But once you do, I’m to bring you inside.”

“What are you talking about? Once he’s home, I’m leaving. Getting him back is the mission, Doris. Once that’s done, I’m heading home.”

“Steve is rattling the wrong cages Catherine. He, along with Danny, have managed piss off people in some very high places and the only way I can get folks to calm down is to take away his best sources.”

“Meaning me.” Catherine glared at her.

“And me. Wo Fat is planning a confrontation and everyone is hoping they will take each other out. I’ve done what I can to insulate the situation, but everything is riding on you making a strategic career change.”

“So your intel isn’t really intel is it? You’re brokering a trade. Give me what I need and in exchange you get my service and me out of Steve’s life.”

“I’m at the end of what I can do to protect him, Catherine. You have no idea what I had to go through to get Danny over here to drag him back to Hawai’i after your unauthorized trip to Afghanistan.”

“Why did you do that? I heard they’d already secured him with Master’s at Arms.”

“If Danny was there, Steve wouldn’t fight or try to escape to stay. I needed him to shift his focus.”

“Because you think that when given the choice between me or Danny, he’d chose Danny.” Catherine’s heart sank. It was a truth she hadn’t wanted to admit to herself.

“I’m sorry. For hurting you...and for being right.”

“So what do I tell him? He calls me every week to find out if I’ve found Najib.”

“You lie. You make the calls less frequent, shift to short texts, and then you go off the grid.”

“You don’t think he will look for me?” She wasn’t sure but it made her feel worse to think that he’d be fine with her simply disappearing.

“I think he might, so once you have your new assignment, you have to break it off. Tell him you’re not coming back to Hawai’i.”

“I don’t want to hurt him. And I think this will hurt him a lot.”

Doris, looked at her with concern and empathy. “I think it will too. But the alternative is worse. Removing Steve from the equation, you deserve to be inside. There is a reason I can broker this deal; you’re valuable. Extremely valuable. Do you really want to be playing research-girl on murder investigations when you have the skills to operate on this level? You can’t tell me that your decision to stay here and fight for this young man’s future was simply loyalty. This is what gets you up in the morning.”

“I did good work on Five-0.” Catherine felt defensive, but could also feel the excitement of working for the Agency.

“You did. You’ll be even better here. Say yes.”

“Do I have a choice?”

“You do. I walk out of here, with my intel, and you keep looking for the kid.”

“What about Steve?”

“The more you contact him, the more risk he’s in. But I can’t stop you from doing that. It has to be your choice. Let me ask you though, you go back to Hawai’i; then what? You get married? Have a baby? Live a domestic life? Solve murders in Steve’s shadow? I tried that life too, y’know. I thought the love of a husband and kids would be enough to overcome the addiction to this. It wasn’t. And I destroyed three lives in the process.”

“I’m not you.” Catherine’s brow furrowed. “But no, I don’t see myself living a domestic life. Steve knows that.”

“But he wants that. That’s why he got out and why he’s stayed out. Five-0 is exciting enough to keep him going, but he’s also making for himself this little family to compensate for the one he lost...or never really had. He won’t leave that. And he does want kids.”

“I know.”

“You ever read Anne of Green Gables?” Doris asked and Catherine tiled her head at this out-of-left-field question.

“Uh, no. But I watched the series on PBS.”

Doris waved her hand, “Eh, close enough. Anne always talked about ‘Kindred Spirits’. That’s what you are to me. I look at you and Steve and I see me and John. He wanted his life as a police officer, kids, a nice house, living up to his father’s legacy...I disrupted that. Do you really believe you can stop all this and be happy back there? I don’t think you can...because I know you better than you think.”

Catherine drank more of her tea, thinking. “When I told him I was staying to find Najib, he told me he loved me. It was the first time he ever said that: over a sat phone, half a world away. Years of being with him, face to face, making love...never told me then. But he and Danny get trapped under a building and he tells him he loves him. Twice. Like it was the easiest thing to say.”

Doris nodded. “Danny can give him the life he wants. The life he needs.”

Catherine wiped a some tears and said, “OK. I’m in. Where’s Najib?”

Doris slid a piece of paper across the table. “A few black ops soldiers will meet you here and help you make the extraction. Once he’s safe, they will take you to the drop zone where you will be taken to Budapest.”

“Where will you be?”

Doris winked at her. “In touch.” Doris pulled her scarf over her face and got up from the table.

5050505050

Steve pulled Danny against him, soft snores telling him his partner wasn’t up yet. It was the end of July and Grace was away at Cheer Camp so they’d taken a few days off to be together, and gone to Kauai. Their rental sat on a bluff overlooking the surf and they kept the windows wide open, savoring the cooler temperatures that came with elevation.

Steve’s phone pinged. It was a text from Chin.

**Head’s up that our psych reviews are due by the end of August. Just did mine. They asked me a lot of questions about you, your leadership, and if I had concerns about favoritism or you not treating team members equally. They never asked straight out, but I got the feeling they were sniffing around about you and Danny.**

**Noted. Anyone else had theirs yet?**

**Kono’s is the end of the week. Sent her a text.**

**OK. Thank-you.**

He’d worry about the damn psych eval later. Right now all he cared about was kissing Danny’s neck until he woke up.

~~~~~~~~~

After their shower, as they got ready for their last day before Kamekona picked them up at 1500 for the return trip to Oahu, Danny asked how Catherine was doing.

“I’m not sure. My last two calls went to voicemail, but she texted to say she’s fine.”

“Any word on the kid?”

“That’s what worries me. Our last call she said she had promising lead and implied she could be home in a few weeks, but we haven’t talked since the meet up.”

“You think she’s in trouble?”

“Not sure. When we text, I always ask her something that only she would know, so I know it’s her. I’ve...I think she might be avoiding me.”

Danny kissed Steve’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, babe.”

“Yeah, me too.” Steve had honestly thought she’d be back by now. With Wo Fat on the loose, not knowing where all of his loved ones were made him tense. Which reminded him...

“Danny, when is your annual psych eval set for?”

“Tomorrow at 1000.”

“Chin texted. Sounds like the doc is sniffing around about us, so make sure you don’t say too much about me or seem like you like me too much.”

“I don’t like you, so no problem.”

Steve started to tickle him and chase a running Danny to the bedroom where he landed on top of him. “Oh really? Two orgasms this morning wasn’t enough for you like me? Even a little?” Steve teased.

Danny slowed down, patting one hand on Steve’s large, muscular shoulder. “I don’t like you. I love you. More every day. But I’ll lie to the nice doctor. No problem.”

5050505050

Two weeks later, Steve walks into Danny’s office.

“What the hell did you say to the head shrinker?” Steve said with accusation, hands on his hips.

“Nothing! I was very clear that I, y’know, barely like you.”

“Well, I just got off the phone with the Governor. You and I have been ordered to attend 6 months of therapy together to work our our ‘issues’.” He put the word in air-quotes.

“Seriously?” Danny laughed.

“You think this is funny? Denning thinks I’m some sort of tyrant who’s causing you personal trauma.”

“You are a tyrant who causes me personal trauma. You just happen to be completely adorable while doing it.” Danny was struggling to suppress his laughter because Steve was clearly not finding this so funny.

“Will you be serious please? What did you say about me?” Steve crossed his arms in annoyance.

Danny pulled himself together, though Steve could still hear mirth in his voice, which annoyed him more. “Honestly, I didn’t say anything I don’t say to your face. I told her you were a control freak who drives my car more than I do and you often get me shot at.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Well, this lady apparently took all your whining seriously and now we have to do this. Don’t you see how bad this is? We have to talk to this woman, together, for six months. Getting through a two hour eval was one thing. Now we have to sit with this person side-by-side in a room, and somehow try to conceal what is going on without looking too suspicious. If she’s got any skills as a therapist at all, you don’t think she’s gonna figure this out? This is bad Danny.”

“Did one of us make a wish on an ancient coin or something? Did we swap bodies or personalities overnight? How is it that you’re pessimistic about this and I’m not?”

“I don’t know...maybe because I’m the one who’s ass is on the line? I’m your boss, which I know means absolutely nothing to you but in the eyes of everyone above me, my being with you is a huge problem. If we were in the Navy I’d get court marshaled. So can you please take this seriously?”

“OK, sorry. What do you want me to do?” Danny still felt like this was not such a big deal, but Steve thought it was so he’d do his best.

“I think we need a strategy.”

Danny tilted his head, “A strategy for what? We talk to the nice doctor and answer her questions.”

“Because you pushed too far in the other direction and if we go in now and act like everything is fine she’ll think we are lying.”

“We are lying. We’re just lying about different stuff.”

“Will you help here, please?”

Danny sighed. “Fine. I’d offer that, as with any undercover op, we go for the truth as much as possible.”

“Meaning...?”

“There are actual areas in which we disagree. We also argue frequently in front of people and I often challenge your authority, which I will not stop doing no matter what she says. That seems like enough issues to start with.”

“Don’t I get a list? Like how you worry all the time and never let me finish my sentences?”

“I let you finish your sentences! You don’t get to make stuff up.”

“I’m not making it up, Danny! You are always...”

“I don’t always do anything! It’s not my fault you take three years to get to the point.”

Steve just looked at him. “Seriously? You just cut me off.”

“You didn’t grow up with two sisters and a mom who never stopped talking.” He said as if that was all the justification he needed.

“Oh, so you’re like this because it’s your family’s fault?”

“Pretty sure that’s in her psychology book somewhere. Wanna focus on my family talking too much or would you rather we spend time taking about your actual abandonment issues?” Danny was being mostly serious and Steve knew it.

“Yeah, OK. I’m not liking this conversation anymore... What do you want for dinner?”

“I’m going out with Amber tonight. I told you a few days ago.”

“Right. Forgot. OK.” Steve turned and walked out but Danny called him back as he stood up and went to the door. Steve met him there.

Danny pulled on his belt loops, bringing him close. “As cute as you are when you pout, I don’t want you to go off like that. Don’t sweat the psych stuff. The fact they put us through the evals every year is a CYA thing for the Governor anyway. Don’t worry about it.”

Steve looked at him, understanding something for the first time, “You don’t think therapy works do you?”

Danny was quiet for a moment. “Not this kind, I don’t. Rachel and I tried it for a while but nothing could change who we were or what we’d said to one another. In the end, all it did was make her more determined to leave.”

“Did you try?”

“Yeah, I tried. But I wasn’t gonna stop being a cop; which was all she wanted. No amount of therapy was gonna fix that.”

“I guess I can see that. You’re not nervous about this?”

“Nah. I say we have fun with it. Take what we naturally do and dial it up to 11.”

“That’s a reference to something.” Steve looked at him, trying to remember.

“Ugh, yes. Clearly we have to watch Spinal Tap again soon. Go back to work. No more grumble-face.” Danny kissed him and swatted him lightly as Steve walked away.

5050505050

They had just ordered dessert when Danny’s phone buzzed. He almost didn’t answer but Steve wouldn’t knowingly call during a date unless it was important. He gave Amber an apologetic look and got up from the table to answer his call.

“What’s up?”

“Just got off the phone with Catherine. She’s not coming back.”

“What do you mean she’s not coming back? Is she tracking a new lead.”

“No, she found Najib and reunited him with his family, but said she’d been doing good work and wanted to try ‘following in mom’s footsteps for a while.’ Danny, her mom is a nurse in Oregon.”

If Steve wasn’t connecting those dots on his own, Danny wasn’t going to do in on an unsecured line. “You know what she means, right?”

“Yeah, I do.” Steve’s voice was dark and bitter.

“We’re gonna be done soon and I’ll come by after I drop Amber off.”

“No, Danny. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to mess up your date night. I’m fine.”

“Stop it. You didn’t mess up anything. I’ll see you soon, babe.”

“OK.” He didn’t want to ask, but this was exactly what he hoped Danny would do.

~~~~~~~~~~

He’d dropped Amber off and there was a moment where he was sure she wanted to say something, but didn’t. Sometime he needed to make a call there, but not tonight. He actually liked hanging out with her. She reminded him of home and that was something no one else here could give him, not even Steve. But that wasn’t much reason to keep creating awkward moments like tonight.

He let himself in and found Steve sitting out on the balcony outside the master bedroom that overlooked the back yard. He had a glass of whiskey resting on the arm of the chair, the bottle on the floor.

Danny walked over and took it, taking a sip. “How many of these have you had, babe?”

Steve rolled his head towards him, “A few.” His voice thick.

“Did you eat anything?” Danny bent down and picked up the mostly-empty bottle, placing both on the dresser just inside the door.

“Does it matter?”

“Just trying to gage if you’re gonna throw up on me.”

Steve looked back out at the moonlight on the water. “Long as you don’t make me move, we should be fine.” His words slurred and Danny realized how drunk Steve really was.

“OK. You want to talk about this or stare at the skyline?”

“Why couldn’t she stay Danny? Is there somethin’ wrong with me? You’d tell me if there was somethin’ wrong wi’ me, right?”

Danny pulled a chair close and sat down. “There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with Catherine either.”

“I’m not talkin’ ‘bout Cath...talkin’ ‘bout Doris. She leaves. She comes back. She leaves. She takes Catherine and Joe away...she comin’ for you next? She been callin’ or visitin’ you in secret too?”

“No. No, Steve, she hasn’t. She won’t either. You wanna get rid of me you’ll have to do that all by yourself.” He gave a small smile.

“How’d’ou know? She ruins everythin’. Everything.” Steve closed his eyes tight and Danny didn’t know what to say exactly. Steve’s attachment to Catherine was strong, so he wasn’t surprised that this news was landing so hard. He wondered if Doris had any idea what this would do to her son. Danny found his resentment was sitting more with Catherine though. Doris had missed so much of Steve’s life that he could almost forgive her for not knowing how deeply he carried his pain at losing his parents, of those two years he thought he was an orphan. But Catherine knew. There is no way she couldn’t.

“Danno...I don’t feel so good.”

“Alright. Let’s get up. Can you make it to the bathroom or you wanna try for over the side the balcony?”

“Bathroom. I don’t wanna have to clean up later.”

“Let’s go then.” Danny helped support Steve as they walked to the master bath. While Steve emptied his stomach of way too much alcohol, Danny turned the bath on. Steve slumped against the wall and Danny pulled off his t-shirt, shorts, and underwear.

“Come on, big guy, into the tub.” Steve was passive as Danny washed his body, face, and hair. “Lean forward so I can rinse you.” He pulled the shower head down and rained the water over him. Steve sighed at how good the water felt falling against his back and breathed in the steam. Danny turned the water off and let Steve sit in the hot water for a bit as he grabbed his toothbrush, wetting it and putting small dab of toothpaste before handing it to Steve.

“You’re too good for me.” Steve said, taking the toothbrush thankfully.

“You’d do it for me. You need a hand up, or do you think you’re stable enough on your own?”

Steve stood, but then leaned against he shower wall. Danny reached for him and took him by both arms. “Yeah, that’s a no. OK, watch your step as you climb out. Go slow.”

Steve steadied himself, hands on Danny’s shoulders as his partner dried him off a bit. “Let’s just get you to bed.”

Since Steve had already thrown up, Danny had him lie on his back. He’d folded the towel under his head so the pillow didn’t get all wet. Steve thought that was the kind of little thing Danny did that made him Danny; the things that Steve noticed but no one else did.

“I wanna get married.” Steve rolled to his side, eyelids heavy.

Danny chuckled. “Right now?”

“Some day. I wanna get married and have a baby.” Steve’s eyes were closed now but he kept talking. Danny’s heart hurt. He knew Steve was wasted but he still figured Steve had been talking about him. Until the baby thing and then he knew Steve wasn’t.

“I wanna teach him to surf and fish. Or a girl. Maybe both. Both is nice.” Steve’s voice faded and Danny sat beside him on the bed, listening to him softly snore. They’d been down this road before. And he was certain that Steve talking about it tonight had everything to do with Catherine’s phone call. Steve wasn’t just sad at losing her. He was losing his opportunity for the kind of family he wanted. Something Danny still couldn’t give him.

5050505050

Danny cuffed Reyes to the chair, walked out of the interrogation room and headed for his office. Up until now Reyes was almost polite with how cooperative he’d been, which was buzzing every alarm bell Danny had. He pulled on gloves and pulled the water glass out of the ziplock he’d brought it in. Reyes had been deliberate in drinking water from the glass, knowing he was leaving prints for Danny to run. He wanted Danny to know exactly who he was, but he could sit downstairs until hell froze as far as Danny was concerned. He’d texted Grace and told her she had to go to her moms instead. Working through the night, he researched Reyes entire known history through FBI, Interpol, and local files. About 0400 in the morning, he asked Steve to bring him a fresh shirt, which he showed up with, along with coffee and breakfast burritos, at 0530.

“Why didn’t you call me?” Steve asked while Danny stripped out of his old shirt.

“No sense in both of us losing sleep.” Danny said focused on changing. Now that he was armed with as much info as he could, he was ready to go sweat Marco Reyes.

“What are you gonna do?”

Danny handed his laptop to Steve. “Read up. I’m gonna find out what the fuck is going on.”


	39. S5: E2 Ka Makuakaneka (The Father)/ E3 Kanalu Hope Loa (The Last Break)/ E4 Ka Noe’au (The Painter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maro Reyes initiates a war against Danny, having no idea what he has unleashed. Leaving Steve to deal with the aftermath.

Danny handed Reyes over to Duke as Steve came up behind him. “We gotta go. You stay close to me today. You’ve been up all night but we’ve got an abduction case, so I can’t send you home.”

Danny rubbed his eyes with his fingers. “Yeah, OK.”

“I mean it Danny. You’re gonna be all over the place today, I can already tell.”

“Stop it. I’m fine.”

“When was the last time you heard from Matt?”

Danny got annoyed. “Three years ago when he got on the plane, Steven! You think I’ve been lying to you this whole time? That I’d keep that from you?”

Steve remained calm. This was exactly what he knew this day would be like if he didn’t keep Danny under control. “He’s your brother, Danny. I think you will do whatever you have to do to keep him safe.”

Danny took a few deep breaths. “I’ve heard nothing, I swear. If I knew where he was, I’d get him and bring him back. At least in prison, I can visit him, talk to him. I miss him.”

“I know.” Steve put an arm around Danny’s shoulders and walked down the hall to the Palace garage. Once at the Camaro, Steve stood next to Danny by the passenger door.

“Are you gonna be able to handle yourself today? We’ve got a missing little girl and that’s gonna spin you right up and you’re already compromised. What do you need from me?”

“I’m OK. But do what you need to do.”

Steve nodded at him. “OK. Stay close.”

“I will.”

5050505050

“How are you doing?” Steve asked as they drove back to the Palace after ensuring Sophie was reunited with her mother.

“I’m hanging in there.”

“The way you talked Hollier down today; that was really good. You have an incredible ability to relate with people on a human level and it was on display for the team today.”

“You trying to make me feel better?”

“I’m trying to compliment you.”

Danny took that in. Steve didn’t step into his role as a supervisor very often, so the feedback was nice, but it also felt a bit like he was being handled.

“Look, the more I think about it, I feel like this guy Reyes is just fishing, right? He’s trying to see if I know something, which I don’t. He has to know that I don’t have access to 18 mil, so he’s just leaning on me to see if I’ll break, which I won’t because I have no clue where Matt is or where he would put that kind of money.”

“Well, Duke texted to say that his arraignment is over and he’s being released on his own recognizance since he didn’t harm you or steal from you.” Steve pulled into a spot in front of the Palace, since Danny would need to leave to get over to HPD.

“OK. I’ll go meet him and end this once and for all.”

“You want me to come along?”

“No, I got this.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. But Grace is back with me tonight if you want to come over for dinner.”

“You know I never miss Gracie time.”

“Great. You can cook dinner while I go sweat Reyes.”

“Walked right into that one didn’t I.” Steve said, shaking his head, as he dropped the keys in Danny’s hand and got out.

“I got stuff to make either burgers or meatloaf. You can choose.”

“I haven’t had meatloaf in years! OK, that’s definitely what we’re having.” He stopped in front of the car and put a hand on Danny’s arm. “You call me if things get rough. Like have me cued up and ready to go. I don’t like this guy.”

“I don’t like him either, but I don’t think he’ll play rough right now. He’s fishing. That’s all.”

“OK. I’m gonna head back to the Palace; try and track down a good meatloaf recipe.”

“You need a recipe to make meatloaf?”

“You really want me free-handing it?”

“Based on that, no, definitely not. See you at home.”

5050505050

Danny stood at the sink, washing the last of the dishes while Steve was reading to Grace. She had actually outgrown bedtime stories now, but he loved that she would ask Steve to read to her, as though she knew he’d missed out on something special and wanted to make it up to him.

He dried his hands and went to sit in the living room. Steve closed the door to Grace’s room and sat next to Danny on the couch.

“So, what’s your plan?”

“I don’t know. Ran a check and Reyes flys out tomorrow, so whatever rattling I have to do will happen before noon.”

“OK. Seems the best thing is make sure he actually has Matt.”

“I’ve been thinking more and more and I’m convinced that he has him.”

“Why is that?”

“Because why now? If Matt brokered that laundering deal three years ago, Reyes has been out this cash for a long time. Why show up here now? What changed?”

Steve sat back. “It took him until now to track Matt down.”

“Exactly. And if he has Matt then either Matt told him I had the money as a way to tell me he needed saving or because he thought putting Reyes in my sights would bring him down.”

“All the more reason to tell Reyes that you want proof.”

“Let’s say he gives me that. Then what? I still have no idea where the money is!” Danny stood, running his fingers through his hair, pacing. Steve went to him.

“Shhh, settle down.” Steve pulled him close, arms wrapped around Danny’s waist. “There’s nothing we can do tonight, OK?”

Danny clasped his hand around Steve’s neck and leaned on him, feelings of desperation flooding him. They hugged for a while and Danny whispered, “Stay here tonight.”

“Danny, Gracie’s here.” Steve felt torn. He wanted nothing more than to fall into bed with Danny, but he did not want Grace to wake up and find them together.

“Stay for a little bit then. I just need...” Danny’s words ran out as he pulled Steve’s shirt out of his waistband and slid his hands up the strong back, craving the feeling of skin against skin.

Steve pulled on Danny’s arm taking hold of his right hand. Without words, Steve led Danny back to the Master Bedroom and closed the door.

5050505050

It was close to midnight when Steve stopped in the kitchen for a glass of water before heading home.

“Uncle Steve?”

“Hey Gracie. What are you doing up?”

“Bad dream. Carole says that taking a moment to get up, have water or milk, and calm down can help me before trying to sleep again.”

“Carole?”

“She’s the lady I talk to about my dreams and other stuff.” Danny and Rachel had agreed to have Grace see a trauma specialist after Steve first learned about her nightmares.

“I was just getting a drink of water before going home too. Wanna sit with me for a bit?”

“Yeah.” She nodded. He poured a glass of her and they sat at the table. She’d just started her 7th grade year and had grown so much over the summer that she was taller than Danny’s shoulders now.

“How come you’re here so late?” She asked.

He didn’t want to lie to her, but also didn’t want to discuss what he and Danny had really been doing. “Danno and I talked late and I fell asleep. Guess I’m getting too old to stay up late anymore.”

“I’ll be sure to tell Danno that next time you call him for a case at two in the morning.”

“I don’t do that very often you know.”

“He worked case overnight just a few days ago. I had to go back to Mom’s” She countered, giving him a look that rivaled her dad’s best glare. Danny’s overnight lock up of Reyes hadn’t been his doing, but she didn't’ know that.

“Fair enough. You wanna talk about your dream?”

“Not really.” It was different than normal. This time she’d dreamed her dad had to stop someone from shooting either her or Uncle Steve and she was telling Danno to save Uncle Steve instead. She didn’t know if it was better or worse that her dreams had shifted from her dad dying to her dying.

“You sure? I always feel better after I talk about things that scare me.”

“I’m sure. It doesn’t even seem scary now that I’m awake. But is Danno OK? At dinner he was like how he gets when he’s upset but trying to hide it from me.”

“He do that a lot?”

“Enough that I know when it’s happening.”

“He’s gonna be OK.”

“You won’t tell me?”

“I don’t think it’s right for me to tell you if he doesn’t want to.”

“He and mom keep a lot of secrets. I like that you don’t do that. You answer when I ask questions.”

“I like honesty. But there are some things that are grown-up worries and I get why your dad doesn’t want to share them. You’ve been though a lot and I think he doesn’t want you to worry about stuff you don’t have to.”

“I’m not a little kid anymore. I’m in middle school. I’ll be in high school in a couple years.”

“I hear you. But I’m not your dad, so it’s not my decision.” He smiled at her, but truth was, he wouldn’t tell her about what they are afraid of with Matt even if he was her dad. She loved Matt and until they knew what was going on, she didn’t need this.

Grace traced an imaginary picture on the table with her finger. “Sometimes I wish you were my Stepdad instead of Stan.”

That caught him off-guard. “Something wrong with Stan?”

“He’s fine, I guess. But he and mom fight a lot and he doesn’t do stuff like you do. I mean, when mom has to go away for work, he hires people instead of caring for Charlie himself. I know you wouldn’t do that. Danno would even care for Charlie if mom asked but Stan can’t bring himself to bother with his own kid. He’s not mean to me really or anything. Mostly, he ignores me.”

He’d barely ever met Stan because he didn’t go to any of Grace’s meets or recitals the way he, Danny, and Rachel did. “Well, hate to brake it to you but I don’t think Danno would like it if I tried to date your mom, not that I want to. Sorry.”

She looked at him, like she wanted to say more but stopped herself. He wondered if she understood more about him and her dad than she was letting on.

“Gracie, I won’t ever lie to you. OK. If I can’t tell you something, I’ll tell you that I can’t tell you, but I won’t lie.”

Nodding, she stood up. “I should get back to bed.”

He stood too and gave her a hug, kissing the top of her head. “Sleep well. I love you.”

Hugging him tight, she was thankful for how he always made her feel safe, just like Danno. “I love you too.”

Steve waited until she closed her bedroom door before leaving.

5050505050

**I need you.**

**Where?**

**My place.**

**Gracie home?**

**No. She has a cheer competition in the morning and is flying out with her team**

**On my way**

Steve stared at the many piles of cash spread across Danny’s kitchen taking in everything his partner had just told him.

“We need to secure the money. This is making me nervous just standing here.”

“You’re nervous? Well, now I’m motherfuckin’ terrified. What am I gonna do Steve?” Danny’s chest was tight and he could feel the panic attack bubbling.

“I think we need baby steps, babe. First thing is to not have 18 mil sitting on your floor. We need navy duffles. They’re big, durable and non-descript. I’ll pick some up tomorrow on base. Until then we put it back in the bags you found it in.” Steve started moving stacks into one of the canvas bags.

“Putting it away doesn’t solve the problem of the missing five and half million, Steve.”

“No, it doesn’t, but it keeps us moving forward while we think about what our next step is.” Steve paused and squatted before Danny. “Babe, look at me. This is how it works. OK? When the way forward seems impossible you tread water where you are until can work out your next move. What you don’t get to do is stop because that’s when you drown. Hear me? Start putting it away.”

Steve handed the other canvas bag to Danny and waited until Danny took it. They silently put all the stacks of $100 bills into the bags. When they were done, they swept up all the dirt and mopped the floor. Once done, Steve pulled on Danny’s arm.

“Come on.” He walked them to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Wordlessly, they both undressed and Steve pushed Danny in first. They stood under the spray and Steve angled it so the hot water massaged against Danny’s back as he held him. Danny had shifted to a kind of numbness. He didn’t say much, just went through the motions of washing his hair and body. Steve kept a hand on him at all times to keep him grounded.

Once they’d toweled off, Steve wrapped his towel around his waist and went into the bedroom and put his phone on the charger. He opened his Spotify list and did an artist search for Aerosmith and set the sleep timer for an hour. He remembered that Danny tended to listen to them when he was feeling low. Dream On came up and he set the sound so they could just hear it, but not too loud. Danny didn’t bother with any clothes and just laid on the bed. Steve tossed his towel in the hamper and laid down too, going straight for Danny’s chest, gently licking and sucking his left nipple, no rush, or pressure, just tender affection.

Danny ran his fingers down Steve’s arm and intertwined their fingers, pulling them to his mouth. Steve lingered where he was as Danny sucked each of his fingers one by one. They both wanted time to stop for as long as they could.

As he finally worked lower, Danny tapped at Steve’s knee. “Up here.” Danny said and Steve rolled to his side, bringing his hips up towards Danny’s head. As he began to suck the length of Danny’s cock back, Danny shifted between Steve’s legs and began to kiss his way between his legs to his ass. Neither tongue was rushed or anxious; they licked and kissed one another for a long while until Steve felt Danny was getting close. He shifted so he could look at his partner.

“Wanna top?”

Danny nodded and Steve sat up, pulling the lube out of the drawer and took the step of slicking up Danny’s cock. Then he laid down beside him, his back to Danny’s chest and scissored his legs enough that Danny could gain entrance. He twisted back so he could look at Danny who kissed him on his side, under his arm. Danny went slow, with long strokes that almost pulled out and then sank back in.

Though he’d been close when in Steve’s mouth, Danny wanted to block out the entire world and only live in one where he got to feel the silky heat of Steve’s body envelope him forever. Steve stroked himself casually, smoothing the thick fluid that had trickled out of him, thanks to Danny’s tongue in his ass, over the smooth head and down his shaft. Like Danny, he almost didn’t care if he came. He just wanted to feel Danny glide in and out of him all night.

Eventually, the need overtook him and Danny’s thrust increased their speed. Steve let himself relax and closed his eyes, feeling the tingle that spread through him as the strokes against his prostate came faster and more directed. He wasn’t stroking himself anymore; focusing his touch across his frenulum, which sent waves of sensation back and forth between that spot inside and his fingertips. He looked back and saw Danny watching him. The held each other’s eyes for a moment and Danny’s pace increased again. Steve closed his eyes and laid his head back, letting his orgasms wash through him. A few minutes later, Danny’s thrusts became chaotic as he came too. Danny stayed inside him, as they both calmed down. Danny got up to get some wipes to clean them up and then cuddled against Steve.

The playlist was playing Cryin’ and Steve said, “Can I ask you something?”

“Always.”

“Why do you listen to Aerosmith when you’re sad?”

Danny’s head was on his chest and Steve was rubbing his back in small circles. “I never thought about it like that. It’s not only when I’m sad but any time my feelings seem to be too much, y’know? Stella would play them every time she and her boyfriend-of-the-month broke up, so it stuck I guess. I listen to Bon Jovi when I want to pump myself up or just feel happy. Springsteen when I’m homesick.”

“They’re not from Jersey though are they?”

Danny had to think about it. “No, but they are definitely east coast. When you grow up on the Atlantic, you recognize it. Don’t think they are NYC though. Boston maybe? Sometimes...rarely but sometimes...good music comes from somewhere other than New Jersey. What do you listen to when you’re sad.”

“I don’t listen to anything.”

“Really? Nothing? You just sit there in your thoughts?”

Steve kept drawing shapes across Danny’s back, thinking. “I don’t think I do that either. You feel things so much more than I do. It’s more like I think in pictures or memories. And if those memories are sad or hurt, then I try to push them out and not think about them at all.”

“I wish I could do that sometimes. My head is always full of what happened, what might happen, what I desperately don’t want to happen, what could have happened but didn’t...Music helps drown out the noise.”

Steve often wondered how Danny managed to get through the day sometimes with all the stuff he carried. Somehow it also made him better at some things, like how he talked Hollier. He liked that he and Danny covered each other’s weaknesses.

Crazy played softly as they both fell asleep.

5050505050

Steve stood in his office, finalizing a few things. Danny was at home getting the money secure and packing. He pulled the sealed, white envelope out of his top drawer and headed for Chin’s office.

“When do you guys leave?” Chin asked, looking up.

“Gutches got us on a bomber transport to Mexico City. From there, Joe’s got us a contact into Bogata and there’s a former SEAL who’s gonna help us get in country.”

“Somehow I think getting in is gonna be easier than getting out.”

“Yeah. Joe’s on standby if things get tight.” Steve tapped the envelope against his palm. “I, uh, I have a favor to ask.”

“Sure. What do you need?”

Steve handed him the envelope with Grace’s name on it. “I need you to deliver that if we...If things go bad.”

Chin looked at it and then back at Steve with concern. Steve offered, “I just...she deserves to know what happened. Why we did this. But...keep that between us. When we get back, I’ll shred it.”

Opening his desk drawer, he slid it in and said, “It will be right here when you get back.”

“Thanks, man.”

“Be careful. And listen to Danny. His instincts for survival are strong.”

Steve smiled at that. “Yeah. I will.”

5050505050

Danny felt Steve’s hand come over his, taking the handgun away.

“We need to move.” He said quietly against his ear. Steve turned Danny’s shoulders away from Reyes’ lifeless body and pushed him to the hand cart that’s still had the steeldrum strapped to it.

“Take the handle. We have to get it up the stairs.” Steve wanted Danny on the lead end because he didn’t want Danny looking at the barrel as they went up the stairs. Once at the top, they each threw a bag on their backs and set the other two on the top of the barrel.

Outside, Steve’s SEAL contact helped them load into a truck. Once inside, Steve pulled the extra 5.5 Million that Chin had secured out and shoved it into his own bag.

“Anderson!” Steve called to the driver.

“What’d’ ya need Commander?”

“Gimme a church or orphanage that’s working to help the locals.”

“There are a couple, but the one in Bogata has the most kids.”

“Alright. Take us there.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Danny couldn’t even remember how they got to Mexico City. He was there, but it was like the memories of it were just gone. But something Steve was saying woke him up to what was happening.

Steve tapped the top of the airline agent’s desk with his finger. “The container has human remains and needs to go to the Essex County Coroner’s office. Local authority is Captain James Randolph, Newark Police Department.” He spoke in Spanish.

It was hearing his old boss’s name that snapped Danny out if his haze. “What’re you...” Steve held up a hand, silencing him.

“Yes, we are escorting the remains. Commander Steve McGarrett, badge number 0001 and Detective Danny Williams, badge number 0002, Hawai’i State Investigative Task Force five, dash, zero.” He pulled both his and Danny’s ID’s out of his side pocket. Danny hadn’t even known Steve had his ID with him.

Danny watched as the agent taped several different stickers and warnings to the barrel and Steve grabbed him by the elbow. “Let’s go.”

“Where are we going?” Danny had assumed they would go back to Honolulu.

“We’re taking Matty home.”

5050505050

They had a stop in Dallas before flying on to Liberty Airport in Jersey. Steve had to keep reminding Danny to eat during their 26 hour journey. Getting through customs with Matt’s remains slowed them down a bit and Steve tried to get Danny to rest against him on the terminal floor while they waited for their connecting flight, but Danny just leaned against the wall staring at nothing. They talked very little, which only made Steve worry more.

Before they had left, Steve had made contact with Danny’s old Captain because if Matt was alive, he wanted to deliver him to someone Danny trusted before turning him over to the Feds. If he was dead, Steve had the authority to launch a joint investigation with Newark, so either way, he’d known Jersey was where this trip ended.

They both watched as the barrel was loaded into the Coroner’s van and Steve signed for it. Once it drove away, he turned to his partner. “Time to get you home, babe.” They headed to the rental car kiosk.

~~~~~~~~

Steve stood along the kitchen wall as Danny explained to his parents that Matt was gone. As they talked, Clara started to cry and Danny did too, each of them holding one another. Eddie got up and walked out onto the patio. Steve followed.

“You doing OK, sir?”

“Don’t, uh, you don’t need to call me sir. Eddie’s fine.”

Steve simply nodded and waited.

“Do you know how he...” Eddie coughed and seemed to regain some hold of himself. “Do you know COD?”

“Not yet. The coroner will call me when they’re finished with examining the remains.”

Eddie sucked in a sharp breath and Steve went to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You’ve lost a son. No one expects you to not feel that.”

Eddie’s face broke and his body buckled. Steve caught him and eased him down then sat beside him as he cried.

~~~~~~~~~

Three days later, the forensic report came in to Steve’s work email as he laid in the bed in what he’d been told was Stella’s old room. He read through it. Matt had died of shock after prolonged torture, which had been what Steve dreaded. It also determined that Matt had been dead about 5 months, so he was gone before Reyes had ever shown up in Hawai’i. The drug lord had stirred up a powerful hornets nest by coming after Danny.

There was a soft knock at his door and Steve answered, “Come in.”

Clara opened the door and stood in the door way. Steve sat up. “I’m sorry for sleeping in so late.”

“No, please, you’re fine. I’m...I’m worried about Daniel.”

Steve nodded. He was too. He had planned on being back in Hawai’i by now, but Danny hadn’t been wiling to leave his room since that conversation at the kitchen table. Clara had brought him food, but he didn’t eat. They were all grieving deeply, but Steve knew Danny’s actions were rooted in something more...something he didn’t want to tell his family about. So he’d let Danny wallow for a few days. But Clara was right that it had gone on long enough.

“Me too. I’ll...I plan on talking to him today.”

She looked relieved. “Eddie is planning the memorial for next Thursday. Will you be here?”

Steve wanted to, but he had to get back. Rachel was bringing Grace in on Saturday and Steve wanted to be gone before then. He and Rachel in a room generally didn’t work now days. They weren’t rude to each other, but now that Rachel knew about him and Danny, she was very cold with him in a way that was hard not to notice, especially Gracie.

He shook his head. “I have to get back to work, so I’ve booked a flight for day after tomorrow. But I’ll make sure he’s OK before I leave.”

Clara nodded. She knew her son depended on this man in a way that she’d never seen before, so she had hoped he would be there through he funeral, but Rachel had called her when arranging bring Grace over, so she knew Danny would have her. Even divorced, they seemed to care enough about one another to be supportive.

“Thank-you for all you’ve done.” She have him a sad smile and closed the door.

Steve got up and pulled on a pair of fleece pants before heading to Danny’s room. He didn’t knock, just went in.

He sat on the bed next to Danny who hadn’t gotten up or showered in a few days. “Danny, I don’t believe for a minute you’re actually asleep so look at me.”

“Go away Steve.”

“That’s not going to happen either. You’ve had your time to sink in the sand but that’s over now and you’re gonna get up, take a shower, and eat breakfast.”

“No.” Danny pulled the blankets tighter around yourself.

Steve stood, yanked them off and lifted Danny under his arms. Danny fought and Steve pulled so Danny’s back was against his chest. Danny got some elbows in, but Steve held on.

“Stop it, Danny! Stop!” Steve growled. “We can do this easy or we can do this hard, but we are doing this.”

Danny sagged, the fight going out of him. Steve kept an arm around him and walked him down the hall to the bathroom. He locked the door and turned on the water. They both showered quickly, mostly avoiding each other. Steve wanted to draw his partner close, remind him he was still good and worthy of love, but he also knew Danny would resist and sex wasn’t something they should fight over.

Once clean, Steve left to get dressed. He checked back in the bathroom and Danny’d ran a comb through is hair but seemed to run out of gas before shaving. He was standing against the counter, looking into the sink, his razor in his hand.

“Lookin’ a little scraggly there babe.” Steve said as he came in.

“Don’t care.”

“I imagine that’s true. But I’m leaving on Friday and Rachel is flying in with Grace on Saturday, so you need to figure out how to fake it.” Steve cupped Danny’s chin. “Want me to do it?”

Danny gave no response, which right now, Steve took as a yes. He worked the razor out of Danny’s fingers. “Turn around.”

He smoothed the shaving gel over Danny’s chin, jaw, and throat and turned the tap on, filling the sink basin with warm water. Danny’s eyes remained unfocused as Steve concentrated on the task because doing this for someone else was different than doing it on yourself.

When he was done, he smiled and ran his fingertips along Danny’s face. “There’s the handsome guy I love.”

“Or the shell of him anyway.” Danny said, still avoiding looking at Steve.

“You did what you had to do.” Steve said quietly, taking his hands and holding them.

“I know.” Danny moved his hands around Steve’s waist and leaned against him. Steve heard Danny’s stomach rumble and he leaned back.

“Food next. And coffee.”

“Not hungry.”

Steve turned him and pushed him back to his bedroom to get dressed. “You will be once you actually eat something.” Danny put on jeans and an old Bon Jovi concert tee, which made him look younger than Steve had ever seen him, though his face still carried the weight of the world.

Keeping a hand on Danny’s wrist, they walked downstairs to the kitchen. Clara pulled Danny into a hug. “Ooh, you smell good!” She said and then spooned some eggs and bacon onto a plate, handing it to Danny with a fork. Something in her look stirred Danny in a way Steve hadn’t been able to muster and he sat down at the table. She gave him a thankful smile and Steve grinned back at her. Pouring two cups of coffee, adding cream to Danny’s and butter to his own, he sat down as Clara set a plate of food in front of him.

“Did you really just put butter in your coffee?” She asked.

“Don’t ask, Ma. He’s a freak.” Danny said between bites.

She smacked him lightly on the head. “Be nice to your little friend.”

“Little? He’s huge. Look at him. What’re you talking about?” Danny countered.

“It’s just an expression Daniel! And you’re being a smart-ass. What’d I raise here? Huh? I raise you to be like this?”

“No, Ma.” Danny groused but gave Steve a sideways look that proved Danny was coming back to himself just a little. Steve smiled into his mug and winked at him.

5050505050

Steve turned off the bedside lamp just after 2300. His flight was at 0900, so he needed to get up at 0500. As he laid down, the door to the bedroom cracked open and Danny slipped in, locking it behind him. Steve scooted as far to the side of the twin bed as he could but Danny climbed on top of him.

“You sure you wanna do this here?” Steve asked quietly.

“Shhh.” Danny whispered and leaned down close to his ear. “I know you have to get home, but I need you to get through this. I want to feel you, carry the memory of you, until I can get back.”

He helped Danny pull off his pajama pants and Danny tore open the small packet of lube he’d brought in with him. Straddling Steve, he sank down quicker than was wise, but wanted the burn to ache for as long as it could. He rode him hard for a while then leaned forward and let Steve thrust up into him. Steve rolled them so he was on top, spreading Danny’s legs back, and sucked hard at the flesh by Danny’s collarbone, bruising him with his mouth. Danny gave a low moan, savoring the sensation. Steve kept drawing the spot into his mouth as he resumed shallow strokes inside Danny. As his orgasm drew close he let go and sat up so he could pound hard into Danny, who pulled the pillow to his mouth to cover his groans. Steve huffed out breaths to keep himself from crying out as he came. He withdrew quickly and took Danny into his mouth, cupping his balls firmly as he pulled Danny’s release from him with his cheeks and tongue.

Danny ran fingers through Steve’s hair as his partner sucked another deep red hickey into the flesh just below his belly button and another under his arm before returning to the spot at his collar, working it hard until it hurt enough that Danny tapped him lightly on the cheek.

“Thank-you” Danny’s eyes were red and Steve nuzzled him, kissing under his ear.

“Anything for you, babe. I love you so much.” Steve whispered.

5050505050

He went into the office early so he could regroup before the others came in to work. He opened his top drawer to grab a pen and the white envelope with Grace’s name on it was laying there. He opened it and re-read the hand-written letter.

> Dear Gracie,
> 
> If you are reading this, I’m so sorry. Your dad doesn’t like you to know how bad the world can get, so he didn’t want you to know that your Uncle Matt had been taken by some powerful men. This mission is to bring him back and this letter means that I failed. Until I met you and your dad, I never had a reason to care if I came back from any mission I did, other than my own sense of survival. Your dad thinks I still work that way but I don’t. I want to see you graduate; to be there when you walk down the aisle and get married. I want to hold the baby I hope you get to have someday. Watching you grow up has been the best experience of my life so far and I can never thank-you enough for the gift you have been to my life.
> 
> There is a second reason for this letter. When I’m gone, everything I have is set to be divided between you and Joan. The house goes to Joan, but everything else goes to you, including all my survivor benefits from the Navy. Uncle Chin is executor until you’re 21, but then it’s up to you. Live your life to fullest and without fear. Do that and the McGarrett legacy will survive in you. 
> 
> I love you,
> 
> Uncle Steve

Steve walked over to the document shredder and fed it in. Nothing changed. His lawyer had all the directions for what to do if he died in the line of duty, with different parameters if Danny survived him or if they died together. But his conversation with Grace had reminded him of how he felt at 15 when his world caved in but no one would give him answers. He would never let that happen to her. 

As the last edge of the paper slipped into the silver blades, Kono walked in and hugged him. “So glad you’re back safe. Danny still in Jersey?”

”Yeah, for at least another week. Wanna go grab malasadas and coffee for everyone and I’ll brief you all once the team’s here?”

”Let’s do it.” She nodded.


	40. S5: E6 Ho’oma’ike (Unmasked)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny returns from Jersey still pretty messed up. When he learns that Steve made friends with pretty, new, Deputy Prosecutor, he’s not in a place to handle it well.

As they sat on the wall together, Danny took in Steve’s words. He wanted to be able to stop playing all the “what if...” scenarios in his head, but deep down, he deserved to hurt. He deserved this and more.

“What do you need right now?” Steve asked bringing Danny out of his head.

“I need to work. Distraction.”

Steve scooted closer. “I can be a distraction.”

Danny leaned back a little. “You’re a nice distraction, yeah, but I’ve been off the clock too long.”

Steve studied him. “Are we OK? Something doesn't’ feel right.”

Danny looked away. They weren’t but he couldn’t say why. “Yeah, we’re fine.”

“Then kiss me.” Steve challenged.

“Seriously? What are you doing?”

“I’m asking you to kiss me. That’s not something that I normally have to ask twice.”

Danny shook his head. “You’re being silly. Come here.” Danny cupped his hand behind Steve’s head and pulled him in, kissing him, but Steve felt Danny holding back. When Steve tried to push his tongue into Danny’s mouth, Danny broke the kiss and kicked his legs over the wall.

“Let’s go, huh? Team’s gonna wonder where we are.” Danny started to walk to his car but stopped when he realized Steve wasn’t standing up. He walked back and stood a foot away.

“Babe, I’m just not feeling very sexy right now, OK? It’s not you. I don’t know what it is. I just need to get through it.”

“OK. For now.”

“Don’t give me puppy-dog face. I’m back, we’re about to go to work...let’s just be normal for a little bit.”

Steve stood up. “I said OK. I’ll follow you back.” He walked to his truck. He tailed the Camaro back to the Palace feeling very unsettled.

5050505050

Danny was standing at the comm table when the tall, blonde, woman walked in. He swiped up to close all the screens back to their desktop icons.

“Can I help you?”

“Yes. I’m looking for Steve McGarrett.”

Danny crossed his arms. “Who’s asking?”

“I suppose I am, aren’t I. Who are you?”

“You walked in here. In polite society, when you enter someone else’s house, you’re the one who needs to identify yourself.”

“In polite society? I see. Eleanor Clayton, Deputy Special Prosecutor, State of Hawai’i. And you are?” She extended her hand.

“Ahhh, warrant lady. Got it. Detective Danny Williams.” Danny shook her hand. “Uh, why are you here?”

“Warrant lady? Where are you from because you clearly didn’t get your manners locally.”

“My manners? Oh, well, you haven’t spent enough time with Steve if you think I’m the one with no matters. I’m from New Jersey, by the way, so no, definitely not local. Though neither are you, from that accent.”

“I’m sorry you have such a low opinion of your commanding officer. I’ve found him to be very nice and polite...a true gentleman. Unfortunate that such characteristics don’t flow to the rest of the Task Force. Perhaps Judge Clemming’s impression of you all as ‘cowboys’ is less about Steve and more about yourself?”

Danny smiled mirthlessly and asked, “What do you need with Steve?”

“It’s information for Steve. I’ll come back later if he’s busy.”

Danny shook his head. “No, not busy. Just, uh, give me a minute. Wait here.” Danny swiped the passlock on the command table so she wouldn’t see the work up he was doing on Farrow. Whatever she had, he knew she wouldn’t be happy to know they’ve been sweating Farrow without solid probable cause.

~~~~~~~~~~

After Jerry left, Steve turned to Danny, smiling.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You got jealous of Ellie just now.” Steve kept smiling, crossing his arms.

“No, that was not jealousy. That was concern over the sling your ass was in until you got lucky and Tin Hat found out who we really have downstairs. Though it is interesting that you’ve clearly spent some time with the new deputy prosecutor and decided to not share that with the class.”

“I might have shared it, had someone been answering my calls.” Steve countered.

“Whatever.” Danny turned away and Steve caught his arm, pulling him back.

“Hey...hey...Don’t do this, babe. There’s no secret thing here.”

“She likes you.”

“I like her. She knew my dad. OK?”

Danny continued to be stiff and unyielding, even as Steve drew their hips together and rubbed his back.

“I mean she ‘likes you’ likes you.”

“And the fact that bothers you a little gives me hope that whatever wall you’re building right now...there are cracks in it. I’m not going anywhere, you know. I’ll give you space if you need it, but only so far, because I love you.”

He felt Danny soften a little. “I love you too. But I can’t promise you anything right now.”

“I’m not asking you to. Just...be careful with yourself. That’s all.”

“OK. I’m gonna see what else I can dig up on William Corrigan.”

Steve nodded at him, taking the file Jerry left and headed back downstairs.

5050505050

Danny was sitting on his couch when he heard the soft knock at his door. He was surprised to see Steve standing there.

“You didn’t use your key.”

“I wasn’t sure you’d be up?”

“Not sleeping much these days.” Danny stood aside so Steve could walk in.

“What are you watching?”

“It’s an old 80’s movie.”

“I don’t recognize it.”

“It’s, ah, it’s called Real Genius. Kind of a dumb comedy but, uh, Matty and I used to watch it over and over.”

Steve sat on the couch and patted the seat next to him. Danny sat but not next to him.

“Will you please come here? Why are you over there?” Steve said with mild annoyance.

“I don’t feel like foolin’ around tonight.” Danny answered honestly.

“They we won’t. But can’t we...you’re calmer when we’re touching. Come on, babe. Please.”

“I’m perfectly calm.” Danny said and Steve turned towards him.

“Why don’t you want me to touch you right now? Huh? This isn’t just about Matt. What is going on?”

Danny looked away, not wanting to tell Steve about it but he couldn’t keep putting him off.

“After you left Jersey, it was, uh, it was hard. I had to be strong for the family and...and Grace was there so she kept me going too. But the morning of the...of the funeral, I couldn’t...I was in my room and I couldn’t even put my shirt on. I’d taken my shower and stood at the closet door and it was as though if I never put my suit on, then none of it would be real. Like I could freeze time or something.

“Eventually, Ma sent Rachel to find me. I’d put on my boxers and pants, but still wasn’t dressed. She pulled the shirt off the hanger and began to button up my shirt and saw...She noticed the mark at my collar. The other two had faded but that one had bruised more and so it was still there. She asked about it. I didn’t really answer but she figured out that it was from you.

“She asked what had happened in Colombia. I told her...including what I did. And she...she asked why I’d never tracked Matty down. Said it wasn’t like me to...uh...to not do that. I said I’d stayed here because of her and Grace.” Danny twisted his hands together and paused, not wanting to continue.

“What did she say, Danny?”

“She...she said that some day I needed to face up to the fact that Grace isn’t why I stay in Hawai’i. That she and Grace weren’t why I didn’t go after Matt. She said, ‘Family used to be your highest priority; but then you found someone who mattered more.’”

Steve dropped his head, silently cursing Rachel. “Danny, that’s not...”

“I know what you’re gonna say Steve, but the more I think about it...she’s not wrong. In the past four years, there’ve been so many times where I came to a crossroads and...and I chose you. I love you. But I don’t know that I make the best decisions when it comes to you. If you weren’t in my life, I would have gone looking for Matt. I know I would have. But I didn’t. And now I have to live with his death and the murder I committed. I’m not blaming you for that. But right now, I don’t trust myself with you. I need to know I can deal with this without you because I can’t need you more than my family. I can’t do that to them.”

Steve gritted his teeth, trying not to let his anger over take him. “Maybe I need to bring Rachel in for a little intense negotiation because all of that is bullshit. I don’t know how she was able to get into your head but I’m kicking her out. Look at me. Enough of this ‘who’s more important’ crap. She tried to take Grace away from you...to force you back to the mainland. She manipulates you for her own reasons and I’m over it.” Steve scooted closer to Danny so he could hold him by the wrist. Steve knew physical connection mattered and he was not letting Danny pull away.

“We,” he motioned between them, “we made the decision not to go after Matt. Remember? We made that call because the chatter was that he’d gone off the grid successfully. Tracking him down would have taken us out of Hawai’i for months. Months away from Grace and neither of us wanted that. Months where you and Rachel were actually reconciling, by the way, so how about if we not let her play revisionist history here. Back then, I promise you, she would have been far less understanding about you taking off to track Matty ‘round the globe.

“If you’re not feeling me right now, that’s OK. Everyone grieves in their own way, and I will respect it. When we first met, I was so low after Freddie and my dad, but you were my light. From the instant I met you and you were your angry, feisty, little self...I had to be near you. I grieved by drawing you closer. I’d like...I just want you to consider that pushing me away isn’t what will help right now. Especially if the one putting the idea into your head is your ex-wife, who isn’t exactly without her own motives.”

Danny dropped his arm and turned it, breaking Steve’s hold, but interlacing their fingers. “Everything is flooded, right now. I honestly don’t know what is right.”

“Then can you at least trust me? Trust me enough to not pull away?”

“Of course I trust you.”

“Then show me your Genius movie and sit with me.” Steve pulled on Danny’s arm and he slid over until he was close enough for Steve’s arm to wrap around his shoulders.

Danny didn’t want it to feel as good as it did. He wasn’t supposed to feel good. He was supposed to suffer.

~~~~~~~~~

When the film was over, Steve said, “Laser beams can’t make popcorn Danny.”

“It was 1985 Steve. People thought lasers could do anything.”

“Nothing about that movie was even remotely possible.”

“I don’t watch the movie for its scientific accuracy you know.”

“OK...”

“Don’t you have any movies you like just because you liked them as a kid?”

“Yeah. I really liked Return of the Jedi and Top Gun.”

Danny smiled at that. “You probably spent every Saturday running fake battles with your friends in Diamond Head didn’t you?”

“Kawaikui Park, actually. Diamond Head was too far to walk.”

“You didn’t fly? Sorry I assumed you had acquired your piloting skills by then. Did you use your McGarrett death stare to get the other kids to follow your orders? March them around chanting sea shanteys.”

“I have no power for song, but I can make you follow orders and groan real loud.” Steve pushed Danny back against the couch, and slid his hands, pushing Danny’s arms up. Danny rested them behind his head.

“Thought that was my job.” Danny smiled at him.

“Sometimes, yeah. Been a while.”

“You haven’t asked.”

“Things have been...I don’t know. Are you missing that?” Steve ran his fingers along the inside of Danny’s bicep and smiled as his partner pulled his arms in quickly to block the tickle.

“Keep tickling me and find out.” He threatened.

“Oooh, a dare.” Steve’s eyes twinkled but Danny pushed him back as he sat up.

“Not much of one. We have work tomorrow and it’s late.”

Steve leaned back. “I, uh, I’m not going in tomorrow. Ellie asked to go fishing and I told her yes.”

Danny’s eyebrow lifted. “Warrant Lady?”

“Please tell me you’re not going to call her that from now on.”

“She wants to go fishing?”

“She said my dad used to let her fish off the beach at my place and she wanted to know if she could come by and give it a try again.”

“So she invited herself over to your house on a Friday because she wanted to try and catch a fish in shallow water.” Danny gave him a disbelieving look.

“It’ll be high tide. And will you relax? We need to make nice with the new Prosecutor, Danny.”

“Long as you’re not too nice.”

“Down, boy. She’s just a friend.”

“I was that too once upon a time, you know.”

“I’ll think about you the whole time.” Steve said, kissing his forehead.

“I think this is more about you wanting to get out of having to prep Sang Min for the Moreau op we have on Sunday.”

Steve tilted his head, “That’s what underlings are for, Danny.”

“Underlings? Get out of here before I under your ling.” Danny smacked his chest with both fists.

Steve stood up. “Promises, promises.”

He walked around the couch to the door and paused, suddenly serious. “Keep Rachel out of your head. You start going down that path again, I’m serious about sitting her down and she won’t like the conversation.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Goodnight, babe.”

“Night.”

5050505050

After an annoying day of dealing with Sang Min, Danny drove to Steve’s. Pulling in beside the Silverado, he was happy to see the Warrant Lady must have gone home and let himself in.

“You cocksucker! You think you can just text me a photo of Eric Dickerson and not have there be repercussions?” He finished as he entered the kitchen and stopped, taking in the scene including the two place settings at the table. “Oh. Uh, sorry. There wasn’t a car out front so I...”

Steve looked up from where he stood filleting the fish by the sink. Ellie was standing close beside him, beer in hand. “Hey Danny. Ellie rode her bike over.”

“Great. She’s a cyclist. That’s very sporty of her.” Danny wanted to yell and run away at the same time. “I didn’t mean to interrupt dinner. Sorry. I’ll just...” He turned and walked as fast as he could without seeming too obvious out the front door.

“Danny.” Steve called after him but he didn’t stop and slammed the front door just as Steve got to it. Steve followed him outside to see Danny about to get into the driver’s door.

“Danny stop. Please.”

Danny rested an arm on top of his car. “You know Steve, the day I arrived on this island, I thought that was the worst day I could spend on this rock. That things couldn’t get lower or harder than that day. Apparently, I was wrong.”

He dropped into the driver’s seat and backed out. Steve watched him go but Danny refused to look back.

~~~~~~~~~~

Steve walked back into the kitchen and Ellie had put some filets in a ziplock bag. “What are you...”

“I don’t want to get in the middle of anything here, Steve. But thank-you for the beer and cutting up the fish.”

“You don’t...things with Danny are complicated right now. His brother just died and...”

“You know, I was surprised when I met him, at how aggressive he was. Makes sense now.”

“He’s my partner.”

“I can see that. It would have been nice if you’d told me earlier. I thought...well, doesn’t matter what I thought. You have a good evening.”

“Ellie, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’re a nice guy, Steve. Thanks for letting me come over.”

~~~~~~~~~

Through Saturday afternoon, Danny wouldn’t pick up. Steve texted the Five-0 group chat, asking them for status on the Moreau op and to check in. Danny responded to the thread that he was Code 4 (meaning he was safe), so Steve knew he was OK but refusing to talk to him. He decided to give Danny space. They’d have to see each other for the op on Sunday morning.

Before he went to bed, he texted the team chat that he’d meet them on Sand Island in the morning and then texted Danny.

**It wasn’t what you think and you can’t freeze me out forever. I’ll take your anger over your silence any day.**

He waited to see if Danny would respond. None came. As he fell asleep, he wondered if Danny would have been happier had he never made him his partner.


	41. S5: E7 Ina Paha (If Perhaps)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of Wo Fat’s torture, Steve struggles to remain grounded in reality.

Kono entered Danny’s office where he was sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. It was now close to 24 hours since they figured Steve had been taken.

“Danny, you need to sleep for a little bit.” She said, walking around and sitting on the desk next to him.

“No, I’ll...I’m fine.”

“You’re not. And I don’t know how long it will take for Adam to find what we need. You’ve been up too long and when we need to go get him, you will need to be ready. A couple of officers set up some cots downstairs. Chin and Grover just slept for a couple hours. It’s our turn. Come on.” She took him by the hand and he let her pull him along.

Once downstairs, he sat, pulling off his shoes and then stopped, lost in his thoughts.

“Lay down Danny.” Kono said. “We’ve done what we can for now.”

“I don’t want to sleep.” Danny said, looking at the floor.

“Why not?”

“Because then I will wake up and this nightmare will still be happening.”

“Or we will wake up when Chin and Grover tell us we can go get him.”

“The...the last thing I said to him...it wasn’t good.”

She walked over to him and squatted in front of him, cupping his chin. “And you’ll work it out. You always do. Right now, you need to sleep. Come on.” She pushed him back and pulled the grey blanket over him.

“He’s the strongest man we know. We will find him and you two can argue all about it. OK? It’s gonna be all right.”

Danny didn’t believe a word she said, but he nodded. He knew he needed to sleep a little. He curled up as tight as he could and tried to think only of Steve, as if he could send his own strength through the air to him. In a few minutes, everything went dark.

5050505050

Danny rode in the Aid Unit, sitting in the front and looking back watching them put fluids in his arm.

“What did they give him?” One of the paramedics asked.

“No idea.” He pulled out his phone and texted Lou to have Max get samples of everything at the scene.

“His heart rate is dangerously high. Do you know how long he was on whatever they gave him?”

Danny tried to calculate the timeline. “We, uh, he was supposed to meet us at 0830 this morning.” He looked at his watch. It’s was now 1950 on Monday. “I mean, Sunday morning. So they, uh, he was gone about 36 hours.”

The paramedic called on his phone. “Could have been as long as 48 hours. He’s in and out of consciousness and BP is 170/110 and pulse is 85. We don’t know yet. OK.”

Danny lost track of the rest because it was all gibberish to him. All he could see was that Steve was sweating profusely and covered in burns. As the driver got in next to him, she handed Danny a bottle of water.

“Drink this Detective.”

“I’m not thirsty.”

“But you’re white a sheet and I don’t need you passing out on me. Drink the water. You got a protein bar or something to eat?”

Danny took the water and started to drink. “I...um...I have some in my car.”

“In the compartment in front of you, there’s some Cliff Bars. Take one. Eat it slow.” She said as they sped along.

Steve started talking again. “Danny? Where’s Danny. You are you?”

“I’m here, Steve. They’re taking care of you, pal. Relax and let them do it.”

“Where are you?” Steve was starting to fight again. Danny reached back and tapped his face.

“I’m right here, Steve. There’s not enough room back there for me but I’m here OK? You need to settle down and let them help you.”

Steve settled at Danny’s touch. “Is...will my dad be there? Danny?”

Danny closed his eyes. Whatever Wo Fat had pumped him full of, was fucking with his head something awful. “Steve, you need to calm down, OK. Don’t think about anything else right now.”

Steve didn’t like that and started to struggle again. Danny turned as fully far back as he could. “Steven McGarrett, stop right now. Hands at your sides. Do what I say, Steve.” Danny commanded and some how it broke through. Steve pulled his hand down and rested them on the gurney.

“Listen to me.” Danny continued. “You are in an ambulance and these people need to take care of you. No more fighting. Check your breathing. That’s it. Settle down.” He kept talking until they pulled into the ER bay and followed him as far as they would let him.

He provided the docs with as much info as he could and filled out all of the forms they handed him. Kono came in with some syringes and an IV bag in an evidence bag. She glance at him but went to the desk and talked to the receptionist there. They took the bag from her and she walked over to Danny.

“They said anything?”

“No. They just keep asking what he took but I had no idea. All I know is that he kept hallucinating about his dad and that it looked like they’d tortured him.”

“Chin and Grover are helping Max process the scene. It looks like they were giving him a mixture of things. We also found a room that was hooked up to some Nitrous Oxide canisters, so he was knocked out at least once. His blood is on the wall.”

“Fuck.” Danny leaned his head back and closed his eyes. She rubbed his shoulder.

One of the ER docs came out. “Are you Danny?”

He stood up. “Yeah, I’m Detective Williams.”

“He keeps coming to and fighting, calling for you. We’d like to have you come back and see if that can settle him down. Until we have a full analysis of what he took, I don’t want to give him anything so we have him in four-point restraints. But the more he fights, the more strain there is on his heart.”

“Let me see him.” Danny glanced back at Kono, who waved at him to go.

Once back in the room, Steve was shouting and fighting against his restraints. “Hey, what’d I tell you, babe. You gotta let the nice people help you.” Danny said as soon as he entered the treatment bay.

“Danny.” Steve relaxed immediately. “Why am I...where?”

Danny was at his side now and ran his hand across Steve’s forehead and down, petting him gently.

“I told you, you’re at the hospital. Wo Fat gave you something and it’s messing you up, so you need to settle down so they can figure out what you took.”

“Yeah, she kept sticking something in my neck. And they had another needle in my arm.”

“What do you remember?” Danny kept his hands stroking Steve’s body, grounding him.

“Wo Fat kept asking where his father was. He...he...didn’t believe me. He told me...he said Doris was his mother.” Steve’s face pinched in pain.

“He’s not. Max ran the DNA. Shhh, he’s not your brother.”

“He kept calling me that. He said...Danny, Doris raised him. She killed his mother and took him, raising him until he was a kid...and then left him. She left him like she left me.” Steve started to cry and Danny put his face close, kissing his cheek.

“OK, shh, Steve let’s not talk about this right now. We need you to be calm and all this is not helping. Just look at me. OK? Look at me.” Danny pet his face.

“I love you. You’re safe now. I’m here, and we’re gonna figure it all out. Right now, though, you need to stay calm.”

Steve nodded and squinted at him. “Yeah, OK. But, uh, you should get home. Rachel will wonder where you are.”

“What’re you talking about?” Danny asked, continuing to stroke his face.

“Your wife, Rachel. She’ll wonder why you’re not home.”

“Steve, Rachel and I aren’t married. You know we’re not. What’s going on?”

“You’re...But you’re happy...You love her. You said you love her...”

Danny was starting to figure out that Wo Fat may have been planting false memories in Steve somehow. Or he was still hallucinating. “Steve, stay with me. I’m happy. OK. I’m fine, but I need to make sure you’re fine. Alright. You’re my partner and I’m not going anywhere until you’re better.”

“You asked...you asked me to be your partner. You said I should become a cop.”

Danny laughed. “Yeah, OK. Sure. And now we’re partners and everything is OK.”

“Detective?” A voice asked behind him.

Danny stood up and turned to see the same doc standing there with a syringe. “I have something will counter act what he’s been given.”

“Who is that? Danny? What is he doing?”

“Calm down Steve. That’s the doctor. OK? He’s giving you something to help. I’m right here.”

As the doc injected something into the port on Steve’s IV, he could tell when it started to hit his system. Steve’s body sagged and then he was unconscious.

“It was a sedative.” The doc said. “We finally found one that would be safe to give him. They were injecting him with a derivative of sodium pentathol as well as a hallucinogen. It would have made him highly susceptible to suggestion and lowered his resistance to talking. Based on these wounds here, they had him restrained and were administering electric shocks. His lungs have fluid too, so he was probably waterboarded as well. I’m going to put him on antibiotics because he’s apt to get pneumonia from that.”

The doctor removed the restraints and wrapped more blankets over him. “We’ll move him to a room in a few minutes. I want to keep him out for at least five hours so the drugs have time to work out of his system. You’ll be able to sit with him though.”

“Thanks.” Danny pulled up a chair and waited.

5050505050

“Dad! Dad! Dad!” Steve screamed, waking Danny up.

“Hey. Hey. Steve, it’s OK. Steve? Look at me.”

“Danny?” Sweat dripped off him and Steve looked confused.

“Yeah, babe. I’m here. You’re in the hospital.”

“My dad...is my dad alive?”

“No, babe. He’s not. I think...You were given lots of drugs. My guess is Wo Fat was trying to get you to hallucinate that your dad was alive.”

Steve was crying, but also seemed more like himself than he had since they found him. “I dreamed...I dreamed that you saved him. That you made it to his house in time to stop Victor.”

“I wish I had. But we didn’t get the call until after he was gone.” Steve nodded and turned to his pillow.

“Wo Fat is dead. We think you killed him.”

“Yeah. He...he called me brother and I couldn’t...I shot him in the head.”

“You did.” Danny held his hand.

“In my dream...you and Rachel were still married. You were so happy. You even liked Hawai’i.”

“Dream-Me sounds like a real schmuck.” Danny smiled and rubbed the back of Steve’s hand with his thumb.

“You even wore a Hawai’ian shirt.” Steve smiled at him.

“That alone should have told you that you were high.” Danny said, leaning in to kiss him.

“You’re...you’re not mad at me.” Steve stated, like he was finally able to connect back to real life.

“No.” Danny shook his head, smiling. “No, I’m not mad at you. I’m so happy you’re safe.”

Steve tilted his head. “But you were. Right? Before. You were upset with me because...your brother...”

“Yeah, it was dumb and I’m sorry. But yeah. Things with Matt still hurt and I...I took that out on you and I shouldn’t have. I thought...I thought the last thing I was gonna get to say to you was when I mad at you. But here you are and so I get to tell you I’m sorry and I love you, so that’s good, right?”

“Yeah, it’s good.” Steve squeezed his hand. “And Wo Fat is gone? For real?”

“Yes. I can have Max text you an autopsy report if you want. Will that help?”

“Not now. I believe you. I’m just still sorting these things in my head. The other stuff felt so real.”

“Just hold on to me. OK?”

5050505050

Danny stayed with Steve over the first couple nights because he was still a bit unsteady. He’d forget where he was or have to ask Danny again if his Dad was really gone. Danny believed focusing on John McGarrett was Wo Fat’s real goal. More than seeing if Steve knew where his own father was, he wanted to make Steve suffer for having had both John and Doris for a good part of his life. They’d found evidence of home movies that featured John as well as the news footage of Doris’ car accident. Wo Fat wanted Steve to internalize that not only were they brothers, but they were the same; that Steve was just as damaged and demented as Wo Fat. There was little other reason for him to have tried to break Steve this way. What Danny was not sure of was how much of that message Steve internalized.

Steve stood in front of the bathroom mirror, shaving. Danny stepped out of the shower and watched him in the mirror as he wrapped a towel around himself. “You OK?”

His voice broke Steve out of his thoughts. “Yeah.” He splashed the razor in the sink and resumed shaving.

“Where’d you go?” Danny asked as he stood beside him, kissing his bicep.

“I was just thinking that Wo Fat was about 12 or 13 years old when I was born. So that meant he’d been about 9 or 10 when she abandoned him. Guess I was lucky to have made it to 15 before she left me.”

“You’re not him.” Danny said quietly.

“I know. But we’re still similar. And he just wanted to find the parent who lived, same as I did.”

“That’s not all he was doing Steve. He could have done that without leaving a trail of bodies in his wake. You didn’t need to torture him to find out where Doris was. He didn’t have to torture you. He did that because he wanted to. He wanted you to hurt.”

“He succeeded.” Steve said quietly. Danny hopped up on the counter.

“I know. But how much of that you carry is up to you.”

Steve gave a wry smile. “Listen to yourself. You gonna take that same advice over Reyes? Because a week ago when I tried to tell you the same thing...”

“Yeah, well maybe I’m more stubborn than you? Huh?” Danny kicked at him. “Or maybe our job is to remind each other that we’re only as good as we try to be. Maybe that’s why we need each other.”

Steve pulled the drain and splashed water around the basin before wiping his face with a towel. He shifted so he was in front of Danny. “Maybe.” He ran his hands over Danny’s bare shoulders. “Thank-you for staying these past few nights.”

“My pleasure. It was literal pleasure. You’re gonna get me hooked on orgasms before I fall asleep every night and when I wake up every morning.”

“I can only hope.”

“Grace starts her week tonight though.”

“I know. Would you...I’d like to set up a room for her here too. She stayed in Mary’s room when you were in the hospital and I...I want her to feel like this is a second home.”

Danny studied him. “Uh, I guess. If you want to do that. Though it might make more sense to do it up as a guest room rather than just for her. Your Aunt Deb is coming to visit soon and she might wonder why you have One Direction posters on the wall.”

Steve chuckled. “Yeah, OK.” He leaned in and kissed Danny, hands roaming from his shoulders down his back to his waist. He kept kissing as he pulled the tuck on the towel loose, exposing Danny fully and palming his had across Danny’s cock and balls.

“I’m pretty spent, babe.” Danny cautioned.

“I just want to feel you. I like knowing this is real.” Steve spoke softly into his ear as his hands continued to move all over him.

“The realest.” Danny draped his hands around Steve’s neck and let his partner do whatever he needed.


	42. S5: E8 Ka Hana Malu (The Inside Job)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is still dealing with the after-effects of his torture and psychological manipulation by Wo Fat and leans on Danny to help keep him grounded while also being present for his Aunt Deb’s wedding.

“Hey Danny. Wanna come by my house tomorrow before the wedding?” Steve asked, leaning on Danny’s office door.

“I can, but I figured you’d be going early since you’re giving away the bride and all.”

“Aunt Deb has everything arranged and she said she didn’t need me early. I asked Lou to come pick us up.”

Danny raised his eyebrows at that. “You feeling like you need to get lit? I thought you were OK with Leonard now.”

“I am. More or less. But I also thought that if Lou was our ride, it might give us a good excuse to duck out early.”

“Since when do you like to leave a party early?”

“What’s with the twenty questions? I just thought it would be a good idea, OK?”

“Steve...close the door and sit down.” Something was off and Steve was dancing around it. Steve pulled a chair around the corner of the desk so they could talk closer.

“What’s really going on?” Danny asked.

“I’m just still having...sometimes things flash through my head and I’m not sure if I’m remembering or if it’s...I’m making it up.”

Danny leaned forward, concerned. “You have moments you’re hallucinating?”

“No, it’s more that I’m not sure if the memory really happened or if I’m thinking of something I had hallucinated...before. I don’t like how it feels and I’m nervous about drinking or being around a lot of people... If you or I drive, we don’t have any reason to leave. But if we ride with Lou, he’ll want to get home to his family after a while.”

“What time do you want me to come over?”

“Uh, after lunch?”

“The wedding isn’t until 1700, right?”

“Yeah, but I thought we could...you could help me get grounded before we go.”

Danny narrowed his eyes at him, “Is this gonna be a thing? Am I like, sex therapy for you now?”

“Oooh, my sex therapist. I like that a lot.” Steve’s eyes sparkled.

“Down boy, we’re still at work. I’ll drop Grace off in the morning and come by your place after I pick up my tux from the cleaners. Will you at least make me lunch?”

“Oh, I’ll make sure you’re well fed.” Steve teased.

“You are a complete animal, you know that right?” Danny pushed at him.

“Rrawwrrr.” Steve growled then kissed him briefly before heading back to his own office.

5050505050

Steve grilled chicken and had a rice blend cooking on the stove when Danny got there. He went upstairs first to hang his suit in the bedroom before heading into the kitchen.

“Wanna beer, babe?” He called out to where Steve stood by the grill outside.

“Naw, water’s fine.” Steve called back. Danny grabbed a beer for himself and a water bottle for Steve before walking out on to the lanai.

“Smells awesome.” He kissed him hello.

“Just chicken.” Steve took a swig of his water.

“You never noticed that food made by someone else always tastes better?” Danny stood close and Steve put an arm around his waist.

“Never thought about it, I guess. Maybe you need to cook for me more?”

“Thought after my frittata disaster you’d banned me from the kitchen.”

“You can do anything you practice, pal.”

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that.” Danny said sarcastically.

“You’re better than you used to be. You made really great pizza for your folks last spring”

“Pizza is easy.”

“Says the man who constantly complains about how he can’t find a good slice in Hawai’i.”

“Exactly my point. You shouldn’t be able to screw up pizza. It’s so easy even I can cook it. But you all insist on things like pineapple, shrimp, and gelatinized meat product.”

“It’s called SPAM.”

“Read the label, is all I’m saying.”

“Yeah, we avoid doing that.” Steve said wryly, turning the chicken thighs over on the grill.

“How are you feeling today?” Danny asked, rubbing his hand on Steve’s back.

“I’m doing really well actually. Weather’s gonna be beautiful for the ceremony and I talked to Aunt Deb this morning. She’s so happy.”

“Your Aunt is proof that we can choose to find happiness if we want to.” Danny said, as he turned to look out at the surf.

“What was that? Did you just say something optimistic?”

“I’m just saying that maybe...maybe...there’s something to be said for deciding to not accept the worst case scenario. I also stand by what I told you a year ago, which was that you can’t convince someone to fight if they are ready to sit down. Your aunt could also have decided that chemo wasn’t worth it and it was her time and I think she should be supported in that. However, she ended up taking a different path that has bought her a little more time and led her to find romance, which is no small thing.”

Steve pulled Danny in for a hug. “I think I like optimistic-you.”

~~~~~~~~~~

After lunch, they went for a swim and made love in the shower. As they were getting dressed, Steve opened one of his dresser drawers and pulled out a small, brown, paper bag that was folded over on itself and taped with something inside. He handed it to Danny.

“What is this?”

“Something I came across that I thought you’d like.”

Danny opened the package and found a brightly colored, striped, pair of socks. They were smooth and cool to the touch. He smiled big.

“You bought me socks? This is great. They’re perfect.”

Steve smiled back, “I know you like to wear fun socks when you have to wear boring suits and since I’m dragging you to this wedding...”

“Hold up, you are not dragging me anywhere. There is no place else I would be today except at your side today. And I love your Aunt Deb. But thank-you all the same. They’re wonderful and will go great with my suit today.”

Danny walked over and kissed Steve, trailing his fingers down Steve’s bare chest, careful to avoid the still-shiny skin from his electrical burns. “I promise to show my gratitude properly later.”

“You don’t need to, but I love being the center of your attention, so I look forward to it all the same.”

5050505050

As predicted, Lou was ready to head home from the reception after about 2 hours, so they wished Deb and Leonard love and headed out. After Lou dropped them off, Steve headed for the kitchen and Danny followed.

“You making something?” Danny asked.

“No, I just...I don’t know. You feel like coffee? Tea? I just feel...I don’t know.” Steve felt like something was not right but he couldn’t figure it out.

“OK. Uh, turn on the kettle and we’ll figure it out. Wanna sit?”

“Not really.”

“You amped? You think something’s wrong? Should we search the house?”

“No, it’s not that. Part of it is the wedding, I guess. But it’s something else. I just feel...I don’t know...scattered.”

Danny came up and rubbed his hands on Steve’s shoulders, smoothing down his arms to his wrists. Slowly, he put them behind Steve’s back and held them there. “Better?”

“Kinda.” Steve looked at him with a mixture of lust and agitation. “But I don’t want to be restrained. It’s too soon after...”

Danny let go, but Steve kept his hands behind him. “We can work with that. I have intentionally not been even rough with you because you’re still healing and Wo Fat put you through a psychological wringer.”

“Putting it mildly. And you’re right. I haven’t wanted to go as far as I have in the past, but something in me is...wanting more than just sex.”

“How about we sit and talk for a little bit first?”

“I don’t want to sit.”

“Would you rather lay down.... or kneel?”

Steve sucked in breath, wrestling with himself. The mere suggestion of kneeling made him hard, but like with other times, giving over to Danny was difficult. Punishment was easy. This...this was harder to admit. Even harder to do.

“Your pupils are wide. You know why?” Danny asked.

“It’s bright in here.”

“We’ve been standing in here enough for them to adjust, but just now, when I asked you, they widened more. It means you’re aroused.” Danny reached out and palmed the front of Steve’s tux pants in proof.

“Go upstairs. Get undressed and kneel on the floor with your ankles crossed. I’ll be up in a bit.”

Steve leaned in and kissed him, then headed upstairs.

Danny gathered a couple bottles of water and headed to the downstairs bathroom where he knew he’d left a bag of disposable razors. He sat on the couch for about 10 minutes, thinking and giving Steve time.

When he got upstairs, Steve was naked and kneeling on the floor. He was sitting back on his ankles, eyes closed. When he heard Danny enter, he looked up.

“You look good, babe. How do you feel?”

“Calmer. Not totally settled, but definitely better than I was feeling at the wedding and on the drive home.”

“That’s good. I think you do better when you give yourself time to be still.” Danny handed him a water bottle. “Drink that.”

Danny pulled at his tie. He proceeded to hang up his suit, but kept his t-shirt on and pulled out a pair of shorts from his drawer and then headed to the bathroom, closing the door. He got out a large beach towel, a can shaving cream, the small bottle of massage oil that they’d used once, and a small pair of sharp scissors Steve kept for trimming his sideburns.

When he got back to the room, Steve had finished the water, so Danny handed him a second one. “I’m OK.” Steve waved it off.

“Drink it.” Danny said firmly as he put his items by the bed and spread the towel out on top of the comforter. Turning back, Steve had drank a bout a quarter of the bottle.

“Finish it.” Danny said. Steve squinted his eyes at him.

“Danny, this is the second 16 ounce bottle in five minutes. Give me a moment.”

“Bet you can’t do it in two minutes.” Danny pulled out his phone and set the timer.

Steve rolled his eyes and drank it back, finishing it in one. “I win.” His stomach felt like he’d eaten too much, but it wasn’t bad.

“You did.” Danny nodded and walked over to him. “See what you can accomplish when you decide to do what you’re told? Come on.” Danny pulled on Steve’s shoulders, prompting him to get up.

“Lie down on your back.” Steve centered himself on the towel. His erection had softened a bit during his time on his knees, so Danny drew his cock into his mouth to bring his erection to full again. Steve rested his hands behind his head. He felt a bit apprehensive because either Danny was nervous about having him sub so soon after his ordeal or there was something coming he hadn’t thought of. A year or two ago, he’d have questioned Danny, which seldom worked out well for him, so he decided to be patient and focus on the feeling of Danny’s mouth on him.

Once he was hard, Danny straddled him, sitting so he was just behind Steve’s groin, and grabbed the bottle of oil and began to drizzle it all over Steve’s chest and abdomen. It smelled of hibiscus and coconut and Steve blinked slowly at him as Danny’s hands moved through the oil, spreading it around before focusing his hands on Steve’s chest and nipples. Steve groaned as Danny worked him with pulls and pinches. He thrusted his hips but Danny gave his hard-on a quick slap and Steve focused on keeping still. Danny knew how much he loved having his nipples played with, so Steve was willing to do anything to have him to keep going. Danny waited until he saw precum dripping from the tip of Steve’s cock and then he slid back.

“Your hands can stay behind your head or you keep playing with those. It’s up to you.” When Steve’s hands immediately came forward, Danny smiled at him and dripped more oil onto each nipple.

Taking a moment to stroke Steve as he talked he said, “Unless it’s a hard stop, I’m gonna shave you...here.” He slid his fingers through the the tight curls at Steve’s groin, then down the sides, over his testicles and further below.”

Steve closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of where Danny’s fingers were moving. “No hard stop. Never done that before, but I trust you.”

Danny leaned forward and kissed him before hopping off. “Great. Just need one more thing.”

He went to the bathroom and ran the water until it was warm. He pulled out a small plastic tub that Steve kept under the sink in case the drain leaks. Danny washed it well and filled it with warm water. He grabbed a hand towel and carried out and set it on the night stand.

“Before you get started, I just need to pee.” Steve said starting to get up. Danny caught his arm.

“You didn’t ask for permission.”

Steve nodded and laid back down. “Sorry. May I please use the bathroom?”

Danny smoothed his hands over Steve’s chest, rubbing him for a moment before sliding up to Steve’s neck. Holding him and looking onto those beautiful blue eyes, Danny answered, “No.”

Steve’s eyes went big. “Danny...” Suddenly the implications of Danny’s insisting that he drink two bottles of water hit him like a freight train.

“You wanted sub time but without being bound or anything rough. This is how we are going to do this today.”

Steve gave a cry of frustration and looked away. “Look at me. These kinds of sub times are always way harder for you, but you can do it. I know you can. Hands behind your head or at your nipples, which is it?”

Steve put his hands behind his head, face a mix between a glare and a pout. Danny blew cold air across each nipple but didn’t rub them. “Because you’re pouting, you’ve lost the privilege. Your hands now have to stay behind your head until I release you.”

Steve closed his eyes tight because after Danny blew on them, he desperately wanted to rub his nipples but now couldn’t. He heard the high-pitched noise of scissors and looked down to see Danny trimming his pubic hairs, removing as much length as he could.

He couldn’t help but feel nervous at having sharp scissors near his junk and his breathing quickened. But Danny was careful and Steve relaxed after a few moments. Unfortunately, relaxing also brought back to his conscious the building pressure in his bladder. He focused more on what Danny was doing as a way of distracting himself.

He watched as Danny had a little fun putting dollops of the thick, white, foam on his balls, the head of his cock, and made an arch across his lower belly.

Smearing through it, Danny took time to push it down between Steve’s thighs, coating his balls, pulling them out and cupping them with one hand and stroking Steve’s length with the other.

Wiping one hand on the towel, Danny picked up the disposable razor and stretched the skin below his belly button, which put slight pressure on the bladder underneath causing Steve to curse.

“Fuck, Danny, you can’t put your hand there.” Danny ignored him and Steve tried not to move as the razor scraped along his skin. “Ugh, please, can you do that faster?”

“If I go faster, I might cut you.” Danny said as he shifted slightly to stretch the skin taught again, eliciting another round of curses.

After about 5 minutes, the area between Steve’s hip line and the top of his penis was smooth. Danny rinsed the razor out in the basin and Steve was certain he was splashing the water around on purpose.

“Are you done now?” Steve whined.

“Not even close.” Danny answered. “You keep asking me then when I am done, you’ll have to make me come before you get relief.”

“Argh!” Steve growled and clenched his fingers behind his head. He felt the razor touch the base of his scrotum and that had all of Steve’s focus now. Danny was again pulling the skin tight so the razor wouldn’t cut him. He couldn’t see the area very well, but he could feel it with intense detail. It was incredibly erotic but his need to urinate was now doing battle with his arousal, which was driving him crazy.

With the insight that never failed to amaze him, Danny rinsed the razor in the basin and stroked Steve again, taking time to rub him on the frenulum, which felt so good and sent zingers of electricity through him, making his cock hard again.

“Danny...” Steve moaned but stopped short of asking or begging.

“Steven. You have something to say?”

Steve shook his head, closing his eyes.

“Almost done. Bend your knees and give me one of your hands.” Steve planet his feet on the bed and reached down with his right hand. Danny interlaced his fingers with Steve’s for a moment before bringing his hand down.

“Hold yourself out of the way.” Steve pulled his balls up and touched the smooth bare skin for the first time. It felt so soft.

“Wow. Can I bring both hands down?”

“Sure, but they have to both stay below your hips now.”

As Danny went to work shaving the area below his scrotum and down between his ass, Steve let his fingers drag across his shaved skin. It was a much bigger turn on than he’d expected it to be.

“You like that.” Danny said as he continued to work.

“More than I thought I would, yeah. Feels so different.”

Danny rinsed the razor again and took the hand towel and wet it in the water before wiping up the rest of the shaving cream. Once it was gone, Danny wiped it off Steve’s hands.

“Back behind your head.” He knelt between Steve’s knees and poured oil into his hand, proceeding to massage it into the newly hairless skin, pausing to push gently on Steve’s lower belly.

Steve instinctively tried to bring him his knees together. “Danny, come on. You’re done. Please?”

Danny gave him a truly mischievous smile. “I warned you.” Danny grabbed the lube from the drawer and pulled his shorts down enough to free his cock. He pushed just the head in and paused.

“Why are we doing this?”

“Because you wish it.”

“No, why are _we_ doing this?”

Steve took a deep breath and tried to shove all the competing sensations away. “Because I asked for this. Because I needed you to...I wanted to surrender to you.”

Danny sank into him, pushing behind his thighs so his legs curled back, putting intense pressure on his bladder and Steve cried out. “Oh, Fuck!” He reached back to take hold of the head board in hope he could pull himself up and relieve the pressure. Danny gave him two stinging swats against his ass.

“Hands behind your head. I know what you’re trying to do.”

“Motherfucker.” Steve said as he wove his fingers into his hair.

Danny set a smooth and steady pace. “Not my fault that you have to do everything the hard way.”

Steve had a thousand comebacks in his head, but he was completely at Danny’s mercy and for the first time since he’d been taken, he felt safe. Danny was there, caring for him, loving him, topping him....

Looking into Danny’s eyes, Steve worked to push everything aside and focus on the feel of Danny gliding in and out of him. His shaved skin sensitized to the hair that covered Danny’s thighs and groin. It prickled against him in a way that powerfully alluring and Steve panted as his prostate tingled. He glanced down see he was starting to leak clear fluid again.

Danny swiped a finger through it and put it in Steve’s mouth. Steve knew sucking on Danny’s fingers excited him, so he locked down hard.

“God, I love your mouth.” Danny moaned. He increased his pace. Steve relaxed his cheeks and took in a breath. Danny sat up straighter and grabbed the front of Steve’s thighs as he now pounded into him until he came.

Pulling out, he got off the bed, pulling his shorts back up. “Shower time.” He took hold of Steve’s hands.

Steve made a mewling cry. “Danny I won’t be able to deal with hearing the shower go on.”

“I know.” Danny pushed him into the bathroom. “You’re also still hard though, so...”

“Shit.” Steve whispered under his breath.

Turning on the shower, Danny turned to Steve. “Get in when you’re ready.”

The water warmed quickly, so Steve got in right away. He wasn’t sure what Danny had in mind, but he felt safer in the shower than out of it at the moment. Danny stepped in behind him.

“Worried?” Danny asked, wrapping arm around him and immediately going for Steve’s cock, stroking it.

“I was until you started doing that.”

Danny laughed and knelt down. “Better take care of this then. Turn around.”

Steve thought he’d come fast but the ache in his lower belly was almost more distracting than the feel of Danny’s mouth on him. Danny’s tongue and lips were all over him, sucking his balls each in turn, licking every inch of smooth flesh.

“Please, Danny.” Steve begged and Danny finally took some mercy, focusing on bringing Steve to orgasm.

Standing up, Danny put some body wash on a cloth and said, “Go ahead when you can.” He started to wash Steve’s back.

There was a heady rush of relief Steve felt as he let himself go. It was one of the only times he ever felt endorphins flood him just from peeing. As he finished, Danny brought the washcloth around and soaped him up. Steve almost felt like he could get hard again because his whole body felt so good.

“How are you doing?”

Leaning back against he wall, he smiled at his partner. “Pretty intense. That could get really torturous.”

Danny pulled the shower head down. “That weekend with my buddy Rick? He gave me three cups of coffee. So not only was it the fluid I drank, but it coffee’s a diuretic. My abdomen was cramping by the time he let me pee.”

“I forget sometimes that you had someone show you all this stuff. Sometimes I think I should look around the internet at Dom/sub stuff but then I think it’s better that I don’t know the kind of stuff you might do to me.”

“There’s stuff I don’t like doing. What we did today pushed my own boundaries a bit, but I thought it would be a different kind of sub experience for you and wouldn’t trigger other things.”

“Well, I wouldn’t put it on the list of stuff I want to do regularly, but it wasn’t a ‘no-way’ thing.” Steve took the wash cloth from Danny’s hand, moving so Danny was closer to the warm spray.

“Believe me, it’s way harder to deal with when you’re not hard.”

After they got out, Steve looked at himself in the mirror, taking in how different his pelvic area looked. “This is something I would never have thought I’d like.”

“Let me know in about a week how much you still like it. It itches like hell growing back.”

“Now you tell me.” Steve pulled Danny close. “Thank-you for being my tether. When I feel the most lost, you’re there, anchoring me.”

“I like that. I’m like the anchor to your pitchfork.” Danny teased.

“It’s not a pitchfork, Danny, it’s a trident.”

“It’s pointy things on the end of a long stick right? Pitchfork.”

“They are completely different. One tosses hay and the other gives Poseidon his power over the sea.”

“And how does that work exactly?” Danny said as he headed downstairs while Steve followed giving a tired lecture on Greek mythology.


	43. S5: E9 Ke Koho Mamao Aku (Longshot)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Christmas Eve and Danny wrestles with wanting to have Steve fully spend Christmas with him and Grace. Steve is worried that Danny’s hesitation is rooted in jealousy.

After the impromptu carol sing, people were mostly in the kitchen, standing around and eating. Grace sat on the couch with her dad, watching the Christmas tree.

“Danno, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I told you everything is fine.” He put his arm around her.

“I know that’s what you said, but something isn’t right.”

He kissed the top of her head. She was intuitive and as she got older, it was harder to dismiss it when she clued in to how he was feeling. “OK. I’m...I want to do something but I’m not sure it’s the right thing to do.”

“You always do the right thing.”

“Not always, Monkey. That’s for sure.”

“Do think something bad will happen if you do this thing?”

“No, it’s nothing like that. I just...” He glanced towards the kitchen where Steve was talking with Lou and laughing. “Uncle Steve doesn’t have anyone to spend Christmas morning with.”

“Why doesn’t he want to spend it with us?”

“It’s not that he doesn’t want to. I haven’t asked him.”

“Why not?” She shifted so she could face him.

“Well, I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it. We don’t always get to be together on Christmas morning and I didn’t want to disrupt our tradition.”

“I’d rather him be with us than alone. Don’t you want him to be here?”

“I’d love to have him be with us.”

“Me too.” She sat back under his arm. “Danno, I don’t want you to keep Uncle Steve away because of me. I know you’ve done that with Gabby and Amber, but Uncle Steve is...he’s different. Uncle Steve is not just yours.”

“What do you mean he’s not just mine?”

“Well, like with Gabby. She liked me and cared for me because she was your girlfriend. But Uncle Steve cares for me because of me. Like, he would do that even if something happened to you. It’s separate. I don’t know that I’m saying this right.”

“You don’t think Gabby would have cared for you if something happened to me?” He was genuinely curious about her thoughts here.

“I don’t want to make her sound bad, but no. Like, she would help when I was supposed to be with you but you had a case or something. But Uncle Steve would come take me to Aloha Girls even when I’m with mom. He spends time with me not just when you can’t but others times too. And I can talk to him sometimes when it’s hard to talk to you or mom.”

“Like when you told him about your nightmares?”

“Yeah.”

“Y’know, I want you to know that you can tell me anything and I will help you.”

“I know.” She placated. Danno wanted to believe that, but she knew it wasn’t true. She couldn’t tell him about boys or some stuff at school because he would get mad. Uncle Steve wouldn’t get mad, but she also knew he would tell Danno. So there’s some stuff she only talked to Mom about and other stuff she didn’t talk about at all.

“What are you two doing over here all quiet?” Steve asked, taking a seat on the other side of Grace.

Grace turned to him and said, “We were talking about how we want you to spend Christmas with us.”

“I’m here aren’t I?” Steve looked at her confused.

“I mean be here in the morning, when we open presents and stuff.”

Steve glanced at Danny who gave him a nod. “I’d love to watch you open presents, Gracie. In fact, Santa left presents for you and your dad in my truck earlier today.”

Grace rolled her eyes. “Santa doesn’t exist.”

“Told you.” Danny said, throwing one hand up in the air in emphasis.

“Oh, man, that does suck.” Steve agreed. “It’s like she’s been body snatched by a teenager.”

“Bup-bup-bup! Pre-teen, thank-you very much. We have several whole months before that horror begins.”

“I changed my mind. I’m going to moms.” Grace started to get up off the couch but both Steve and Danny pulled her back.

“Fine, fine.” Steve laughed. “But you could at least pretend to not grow up so fast.”

“How about I let you read me The Night Before Christmas before bed and we’ll call it even.” Grace smiled at Steve.

“Deal.” Steve reached across behind Grace’s head and squeezed Danny’s shoulder.

Danny was looked at them both. He knew, probably even more than Grace did, how important Steve’s relationship with Grace was to him. Of course the unspoken complication here was whether Steve should spend the night or not and if he did, where he would sleep. But he decided to save that topic for after Grace went to bed.

5050505050

Danny finished the last of the dishes while Steve read to Grace. He pulled a can of orange juice from the freezer and set it in the fridge. He had cans of cinnamon rolls to bake in the morning and he’d scramble eggs. Grace was due back to Rachel’s by 10am, so he planned an easy and fast breakfast. When she was little, Grace would wake him and Rachel up at 0530 for presents. Now, though, she’d sleep until 0730 or later.

Steve came in to the kitchen. “Is it Donner or Donder?”

“Donder? Who the fuck is Donder?”

“I swear in the book my mom read when I was a kid, the reindeer’s name was Donder.”

“Well, in Rudolph, it’s Donner.”

“You sure?”

“Am I sure? Didn’t you watch Rudolph as a kid?”

“Yes, I watched Rudolph Danny. I wasn’t raised on Neptune.”

“You sure about that? Would explain a lot of this water-obsessed, barely human thing you got goin’ on.”

“There’s no liquid water on Neptune, Danny.”

“Have you been there? Why else name the planet Neptune if there’s no water on it? And it’ always blue in pictures.”

“Because it’s a giant ball of frozen ammonia. Mostly. But why are we talking about Neptune? I’m telling you the reindeer’s name is Donder.”

“And I’m telling you it’s Donner. Just listen to the damn song.”

Steve squinted his eyes and pulled out his phone to do a quick internet search. “Ah-ha! I’m right!”

“Let me see that.” Danny grabbed his phone, scrolling through the article. “Actually, we both are. How about that.”

“What do you mean?” Steve took his phone back.

“Try reading the whole thing, Mr. Wizard. It was Donder in the original because that means Thunder in Dutch, but it Americanized to Donner in the ‘50s.”

Steve scanned the rest of the article. “At least we never had to endure Blixem. Blitzen is a way-cooler name.”

“Agreed.” Danny said as he walked close to Steve, grabbing him by the belt loops with his right hand. “We gotta talk about tonight.”

“Why? What happened?”

“I mean the rest of tonight. As in where you’re gonna sleep.”

“How about I keep you up all night arguing about classic children’s stories and then we don’t have to have that conversation at all.” Steve crossed his arms so Danny put both hands at his waist and pulled him close, which forced Steve to put his arms around Danny’s neck.

“Why don’t you want to have the conversation, babe?”

“Because you’re gonna tell me to go home and I don’t want to.”

Danny felt a flash of annoyance. “I’m not gonna you that, which is why I want to talk about it.”

“OK” Steve knew he was starting to set Danny off, so he didn’t say anything else.

“Why are you putting this on me, like I’m some kind of ogre?” Danny pushed away.

“I’m not!” Steve said with exasperation. “You said you wanted to talk and I’m waiting for you to talk.”

“No, you said you didn’t want to have the conversation.”

“OK. Clearly this isn’t going well, so I’ll just head home and you call me when Gracie wakes up.”

“You want to leave?”

“I don’t want to fight.”

“I’m not trying to fight. I’m trying to talk.”

“Well, it’s often hard to tell the difference with you.”

Danny closed his eyes and took in a breath, trying to calm himself down. He was escalating this and he knew it. “Alright. Look, don’t leave. Please.”

“OK.” Steve waited again.

“Will you fuckin’ say something more than OK?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to say what you’re thinking!”

“No, you don’t.” Steve said quietly.

“Oh, you’re in my head now?”

Steve shook his head. “I’m in my own. And my own head knows that saying every thought I think, especially when I’m frustrated or angry with you, will absolutely not help the situation.”

“Oh, so you’ve decided I’m...I’m a...a... delicate flower or whatever to handle whatever you’re thinking? Is that it? I can handle anything you throw at me, my friend. It’s you who keeps things to himself as a way of trying to control everything and everyone.”

“Fine! I think you desperately want me in your bed tonight but you can’t say that because Gracie’s home and you’re scared to death of her asking questions you don’t want to answer. But the truth is you don’t like sharing her and that’s why you can’t bring yourself to admit you’re in love with me.”

Danny took the hit and just stared at Steve for a moment before saying, “Only one of the things you said was true.”

“Oh yeah? Which one.”

“That I want you in my bed tonight. The rest is just bullshit that exists in your Neanderthal brain.” He put his hands on the kitchen table and looked down for a moment, before continuing.

“I love that you are in Grace’s life. For over four years, you have taught her, cared for her, loved her...and I would _never_ take that away from her. But more importantly, I would never take that from you. And as for her asking questions about us, it’s not that I don’t want to answer them. It’s that I wanted us to talk about how we would answer them. Or if you were ready for us to answer them. I believe that is something we have to talk about together precisely because of your relationship with her. Finally, it’s not about admitting I’m in love. I honestly don’t know if I’m capable of the kind of love you want me to feel.”

Steve focused on the last sentence. “With me or with anyone?”

“With anyone. But you also want things I don’t. And until that changes, then we just keep having this same argument in circles.”

Walking around the table, Steve pulled Danny in for a hug. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” They hugged for another couple moments when Danny pulled back. “I want you to stay. I can’t tell you what’s gonna happen though. We could wake up ahead of her and she may not ask anything. She could wake up early and come bouncing into my room. She could already be out here when we get up and see us leave my room. And if she does ask, what are we gonna say?

“We tell her the truth. Even if she doesn’t like it, I think we need to stop lying to her.”

“We haven’t lied. We’ve just not told her the truth.”

“Well, in my world, when a parent does that, it’s the same as lying.”

“Fine,” Danny conceded, “but is Christmas morning the best time to spring this on her?”

“It’s been too easy to avoid it every other day of the year. But I also think she might view things differently now.”

“Why?”

“She’s older. And she’s more confident in me.” Steve offered.

“Fair enough.”

“Can we have make-up sex now?” Steve whispered.

“How about we have make-up cuddles? I’m definitely not ready for her to hear you call out my name as you come harder than ever before.”

“That’s pretty cocky of you.” Steve palmed said body part in emphasis.

“I’m confident in my abilities.” Danny kissed him deeply. “Come on. If you’re good, I may give you a very quiet, very discrete blowjob”

“Quiet and discrete blowjobs. I like it. I like it a lot.” Danny smiled and pushed Steve towards the bedroom.


	44. S5.12 Poina ‘Ole (Not Forgotten)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny’s jealousy of Steve and Grace’s relationship boils over when he believes Steve has left Grace in danger.

“Gracie!” Steve called, grateful to have found Grace right where he left her.

“Is your car gone?” Grace asked, though she pretty much knew the answer from Steve’s face.

“Yeah. And I have to get to a crime scene. Let’s head back to your mom’s and see if she can drive me to my place.”

They were only about six blocks from Rachel’s because Steve had intentionally outlined the mile route around her house so Grace could practice for her test. This morning’s run was to teach her the route. Rachel answered the door and Charlie was standing behind her legs.

“Hey Charlie. How are you buddy?” Steve asked him, but Charlie moved further behind her. Steve seldom got to see the boy and he felt a little bad that he didn’t seem to recognize him. He squatted down so he was closer to eye level.

“I’m Steve. I’m a good friend of Grace’s dad.”

“This is Uncle Steve, Charlie.” Grace said, patting him on the back. “He’s nice, just like Danno.”

The boy’s face lit up when he heard Danny’s name. “Is Danno coming over too?” The boy asked Grace.

“Not today.” Grace answered.

“Just me today.” Steve said, “I’m helping Grace get ready for a test she’s taking.”

“I’m gonna get some cereal. You wanna come with me?” Grace held out her hand and Charlie took it.

Steve stood up. “Rachel, I hate to ask but my car’s gone. Someone stole it and I have to get to a crime scene. Would you drive me back to my place? It’s just over in Aina Haina.”

“You don’t want to call Daniel?”

“He’s already on-scene. It’ll be faster this way.”

“Of course. Let me get my keys. Grace, I’m driving Steve home. Keep an eye on Charlie please.”

“I will. Thanks Uncle Steve!”

“You bet Gracie!”

As she drove, Steve called Danny.

“You on your way?” Danny asked.

“I am. But it will be a little bit.”

“Why?

“My car was stolen and Rachel’s giving me a lift home.”

“Rachel? As in my ex-wife Rachel?”

“How many Rachels do you know?” Steve glanced over and could see a slight smile on her face.

“Pretty much just the one. Which car?”

“My dad’s Marquis. Grace spotted it as we were running. I tried to run after it but he got away.”

“You tried to chase down a car thief on foot with my daughter?”

“No! I did not do that. I told her to wait safely on corner while I tried to chase down the thief... Uh, right on the next block.” Steve said, while also offering directions to Rachel.

“Oh. You had her wait on a corner like she’s a hooker. That’s so much better.”

“Danny, she’s fine. She’s at home and totally safe. We just got to my house so I will be there in 15 minutes.” Steve didn’t wait for reply and hung up.

“Thank-you for the lift.” He said as he opened the door.

“No problem. It was amusing to hear him do that to someone else for a change.” Rachel looked at him with a wry smile.

“He’s done that literally from the moment I met him.” Steve said, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“That’s because he didn’t want to get in your pants back then. He can be so charming and...I suppose I should consider myself lucky that I got to see that side of him for a little while.”

“Rachel, I...”

“Go. You have work to do. Thank-you for running with Grace. Training with you these past few weeks has been a huge thing for her.”

“My pleasure. Take care.” He shut the door and tapped the hood a few times before heading to his truck.

5050505050

“I’m not the one who is the bad guy here.” Danny was reprising his earlier fight with Steve for Kono who had missed Round One.

“You ever notice how when Steve is at his limit with you, he partners us together?”

“What does that mean?” Danny paused as they entered the elevator to go down to the morgue.

“It means that you’ve pushed him to the point where he needs a time out from you and maybe that is something you should pay attention to.”

“He left Grace on a corner, Kono.”

“In her own neighborhood where she knows other kids and moms and where she’d be recognized. Never mind that she’s not exactly a toddler who might run into the street. Sorry, but I’m Team Steve on this one.”

“What happened to being on my side during these things? That’s our deal!”

“You wanna take me on now too? What’s going on with you, for real?”

“I don’t know. It just really upset me that he left her like that.”

“All l’m saying is that maybe that’s not what you’re really upset about.”

5050505050

As they drove back to the Palace from Russel’s place, Danny felt antsy...and guilty.

“Thank-you, by the way, for saving me from the...the things, especially since you are mad at me.”

“You think I’m gonna let you get impaled on stakes because I’m annoyed with you?”

“I’m annoyed with you too.”

“That much has been obvious from the moment I saw you this morning. And the fact that you think I wouldn’t have your back every minute no matter how crazy you make me is exactly what is wrong with us.”

“I know you have my back. I was simply acknowledging that I’m thankful for that. What I don’t...I’m trying to understand why the car is more important than Grace.”

“Are you shitting me right now? You didn’t seriously just ask me that.”

“The car was stolen. It was driving away. What were you gonna do? Huh? Even if you’d caught up to it, what were you gonna do? Get run over? Jump on the hood like TJ Hooker? You’d just finished running a mile and you’re gonna out-run a car going 40? It was stupid. So the only reason I can see for you doing that is because in that hyper-reactive, jump-first-and-look-at-how-high-you-are-later brain of yours, the car was the only thing that mattered.”

“I don’t love the car more than Gracie. But the car does matter. I know you don’t see or care about that, but I do.”

“It was still a bad choice. You remember that line from Top Gun, where the guy tells Maverick that his ego writes checks his body can’t cash? That’s you.”

Steve took that in. Danny wasn’t wrong. But it was also ingrained in him from years of physical exertion in the sand, surf, cold, and heat. And it was something Danny would never understand.

“Fine.” Steve said, pulling into the garage. “I don’t want to fight anymore. I love Grace like she’s my kid and I would never endanger her. OK?”

Danny didn’t feel like this was actually resolved, but Kono was right that sometimes he was too much for Steve to handle and this was one of those times when he needed to step back.

“Yeah, OK.” Danny got out and headed for the elevators. Steve sat for a few moments longer before following.

5050505050

Grace and Samantha walked down the beach talking. Lou had brought her tonight specifically because he knew Grace would be here. The girls were a couple years apart, but they shared a common trauma. He didn’t know if they would talk about it, but maybe...

Lou, Steve, and Danny sat at one of the tables, nursing beers as Kamekona lit torches around the area where customers were strangling in for the late-dinner hour.

“How long did Grace have nightmares?” Lou asked.

“Well, I thought for about 6 months, but uh...turns out she still has them. So she’s been seeing a trauma specialist for a couple months now.”

“Is that helping?” Lou looked at him.

“I think so. She doesn’t talk about it much.” Danny said.

“She says it’s helping her learn how to disrupt them when they happen. She’s also learning how to get herself back to sleep after.” Steve offered and then caught Danny’s face and looked away, realizing that Grace hadn’t shared this with her father.

Danny felt a rush of jealousy but cleared this throat so it wouldn’t show in his voice. “So, yeah, it’s helping. I can give you the number if you want.”

“I’d appreciate that.” Danny pulled out his phone and messaged the contact info to Lou’s phone.

“You two seem to have figured out your mess from this morning.” Lou took a swallow of his beer and looked between them. Danny sat beside him facing the water while Steve was opposite them with his back to the surf.

“Yeah, we’re fine.” Steve said casually, shifting so he straddled the bench and could look down the beach behind him without turning his back on the other men.

“Yup, fine.” Danny echoed, not looking at either of them.

“You two are the worst pair of liars I’ve ever met.”

Steve looked back. “Hey, he called me cookie dough, so y’know, we’re good.”

“I didn’t call you cookie dough; I said you were a half-baked cookie. But maybe you’re more like one of those cream eggs from Easter. Hard shell and then liquified sugar in the middle.”

“I prefer the cookie. Those egg things are disgusting.”

Danny reached over and tapped his beer bottle to Steve’s. “On that we totally agree.”

“I can’t figure you two out sometimes. You can be at each other’s throats one minute and making goo-goo eyes at each other then next. You give me relationship whiplash.”

“To our credit, we are trying to fix that.” Steve offered.

Lou raised an eyebrow. “I thought you’d decided to fuck with the therapist lady to get her off your back.”

Danny licked his lips, “Yeah, that’s mostly what we do. But she does say good stuff sometimes. He and I are just very different and it comes out in not-so-great ways occasionally.”

“Occasionally?” Lou challenged.

“OK, a lot.” Danny conceded. “Girls are coming back.” He didn’t want discussion about this in front of Grace.

Before the girls reached the table, Steve caught Danny’s eye. “Come over after you drop her off.”

“Why?” Danny was not feeling up for Round 34 of this argument.

“Because I like fixing broken toys.” Steve said pointedly.

“Yeah, OK.”

5050505050

When Danny let himself in, Steve was sitting at the table, tea cup in hand.

“Water’s still warm if you want some.” Steve said and Danny went to pour himself a cup. He sensed this was going to be a hard conversation and the smell of the Lemon and Mint would help calm him down.

He sat across from Steve, bouncing the tea bag in his cup, trying to ignore the nerves and anxiety in his gut.

“Danny, I think you have a problem with me and Grace and we gotta talk about it.”

“I don’t have a problem with it.”

“I think you do and it’s been building since Christmas.”

“Nothing happened at Christmas.”

“Which is your problem.” Steve countered.

“Why? Has she said something to you?”

“No.”

“Really? Because she seems very willing to share with you things she doesn’t share with her parents.”

“There it is.” Steve took a sip from his cup.

“Will you stop with the thing where you act like you have all the answers?”

“You don’t like that I have a relationship with Grace that is separate from you.”

“That is not true. I swear it’s not. But I don’t like her non-reaction reaction from Christmas and I don’t like that she’s telling you stuff she’s not telling me. And I really don’t like you not telling me the stuff she’s telling you.”

“What was so wrong with Christmas? She didn’t say anything or ask any questions. Wasn’t that what we wanted?”

“She knocked on the door Steve. Never, in her whole life, has she knocked on my bedroom door. Certainly not on Christmas morning.”

Steve felt his exasperation coming back but was working hard to keep his voice even. “Why is that bad? It was courteous and at her age, shouldn’t she be knocking on her father’s bedroom door if it’s closed?”

“What the hell does that mean?” Danny’s face was turning red and Steve instantly knew he had to quell this fire.

“Just that she’s old enough to know about stuff and maybe walking in on you isn’t something she wants to do. Especially after how she met Amber, you don’t think that maybe she’s treading lightly?”

“But she shouldn’t have to do that. And the fact that she did do that means she thought there was something going on in my bedroom but she doesn’t want to talk about it or acknowledge it.”

“Maybe that’s what she needs to do right now.” Steve said gently.

“Or maybe I shouldn’t be doing things in my bedroom that I don’t want her to risk seeing.”

“So is this about protecting Gracie or is it about your guilt?”

Danny looked at the table. “I don’t know.”

“I liked being there Christmas morning, you know.” Steve’s heart tightened because he’d more than liked it. He never wanted to spend Christmas morning anywhere else ever again.

“I liked having you.”

“Did you? Because it seems like you’ve regretted it ever since. What’s more, you’re hair-trigger ready to attack me about anything that has to do with her.”

“You attacked me too!” Steve’s earlier statement that Danny wasn’t doing his job as a father still stung in his ears.

Steve leaned back in his chair. “I did. I was really mad and I lashed out and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did. But you weren’t listening to me either. The car is...it’s like a living memory of my dad. Working on that car with him, going for drives... Almost every Sunday he’d take Mary and I for drives in the car to get shaved ice and we’d drive around a big loop along the shore until they were gone. My nicest memories...the strongest memories I have of him involve that car.”

“That does sound nice. I’m sorry for not being sensitive to that part.” Danny said sincerely.

“Thank-you.” Steve swallowed the last of his tea and got up. “You done?”

“Yeah.” Danny stood and followed him into the kitchen. Once there, Danny emptied what was left in his cup and put it in the dishwasher. Steve leaned on the counter watching and when he was done, Danny felt rooted to the spot. He wanted to go to Steve, to wrap him in a hug and hold him, but he stayed where he was. This was the same kind of frozen movements that happened with Rachel toward the end. Where he wanted to make up, but couldn’t. It scared him a lot more this time.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked.

“Nothing. I should go.” Danny started to walk out of the kitchen but Steve blocked his path.

“Do you want to go?”

“I...I’m not sure.” Danny stammered.

Steve reached out and pulled Danny’s arm, drawing him into a hug. “When in doubt, hug it out.”

Danny burst out laughing. “What the hell was that?” He voice was muffled in Steve’s chest.

Steve smiled and waited until Danny’s arms were around him before slacking his own so he and Danny could look at each other. “It rhymes.” Steve said as if that explained everything.

“I get that it rhymes. But it makes no sense. Where did you hear it?”

“Don’t know, just kind of came to me. I think it makes perfect sense. When you start to spiral down those dark rabbit holes, touching you brings you back.”

“That’s gonna be stuck in my head now.” Danny continued a light chuckle.

“I hope so. Come to bed.” Steve took his hand.

“Yeah, OK.” Danny kept grinning as Steve led him up the stairs.

~~~~~~~~

Steve pulled Danny against him, his back to Steve’s chest, and kissed his ear. Danny gave a soft mewling sound followed by a gentle sigh.

“I tell you the important stuff...about Grace.” Steve spoke quietly, arms ready to tighten if Danny tried to pull away.

“You need to tell me everything.” Danny’s voice was tight.

“You don’t tell Rachel everything. And I’m pretty sure she doesn’t tell you.” Steve countered.

“We’re her parents.”

“And I respect that. But no kid tells their parents everything. And the stuff she’s told me, like about how therapy’s going, if it was bad, I’d tell you. She’s placing a trust in me and I want to honor that.”

He felt Danny pull away slightly. “Why doesn’t she want to tell me?”

“Why does it have to mean that? Maybe she and I just talk differently.”

“I don’t like it and I’m not gonna pretend I do.”

“Or you could trust me.”

“When it comes to Grace, I don’t even trust Rachel.”

Steve kissed Danny’s neck and ear for a while, waiting for Danny to relax and said, “I’m not the only one with control issues you know.”

Danny rolled towards him onto his back. “When it comes to my daughter, I do know that.”

“Well, admitting you have a problem is half the battle, right?”

“I don’t see it as a problem. It’s my job to keep her safe.”

“And it’s a job you do very well. She’s growing up though...I don’t know, seems to me that letting her try out independence in small ways now is how she’ll learn to be independent later.”

“I love you babe, but I really don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Danny was feeling emotion overload and just couldn’t think about adult Grace right now.

“Alright.” Steve kissed him and rolled onto his stomach, punching his pillow. “Good-night Danno.”

Danny laid on his back, staring at the ceiling.


	45. S5: E15 E ‘Imi Pono (Searching for the Truth)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Valentine’s Day and Steve cooks up a plan for him and Danny to spend it together, which may be thwarted by Amber.

The two of them sat in Steve’s office talking about the case Danny had missed when he’d flown to Texas for one of Grace’s cheerleading competitions. Her squad was surprisingly good but it was getting harder to deal with the amount of travel she had to do.

Shifting topics, Steve said, “Lou’s wife and kids are gonna be gone next weekend to Chicago so I was thinking of hosting a barbecue for those without dates for Valentine’s Day.”

Danny cocked his head. “Uh, OK. I guess I’ll see if Amber’s free for dinner.”

“I thought you had Grace next weekend.”

“I do, but she’s almost 13. She can be at home for the evening by herself while I go out to dinner.”

“So...you’re planning on spending Valentine’s Day with Amber?”

“Honestly hadn’t thought about it being Valentine’s Day at all until you brought it up. But since it’s on a Saturday this year, that’s a pretty obvious date-night kind of situation and you wanna do this barbecue thing so....”

“Fine. Do what you’re gonna do.” Steve opened up his laptop and focused on the screen.

Danny reached across the desk and pushed it closed. “Uh, no. You’ve got pouty-angry face, which is something only you can manage by the way. What is going on?”

“Nothing.” Steve sat back and crossed his arms, glaring at Danny.

“So is this gonna be one of those times where I have to pull every inch of whatever the hell is wrong with you out of your stubborn ass? Or can you just tell me why you’re pissed at me?”

“I’m not pissed. I just thought you’d want to spend next Saturday with me, that’s all. But if you’d rather be with Amber, then that is what you should do.”

Danny squinted at him for moment. “In what possible universe is you hosting a big grill-fest at your house spending Valentine’s Day with me?”

“Oh, I’m the idiot? Here I’m trying to be sensitive to you, but no, I’m the moron.” Steve stood up and walked out of his office. Danny sat in the chair, shaking his head. He would go after him, but he needed a moment or this would turn ugly and he was really trying to not do this at work anymore.

When he got up, the outer-office area was empty. Danny pulled out his phone and texted:

**Where are you?**

**Interrogation A**

**Why are you down there?**

He waited. When no response came, he headed down the back stairwell. He found Steve doing push-ups.

“What are you doing?” Danny asked a bit exasperated.

Steve didn’t stop as he said, “We were about to have a fight.”

“Since when does that mean you do push-ups?” Danny shut the door and sat on the floor in the corner.

“Since I was overcome with the urge to throw you against a wall.”

Danny recoiled at that. It had been a long time since Steve had been that kind of angry with him. “Will you please stop that and tell me what I did that upset you so much?”

Steve paused in the up position of his push-up and said, “You’re sleeping with Amber.” He resumed his push-ups with increased intensity.

He wasn’t sleeping with her as much as Steve used to sleep with Catherine, so he found himself annoyed at the implication that he was doing something wrong. He only saw Amber about once a month and yeah, those times usually included sex, but that wasn’t something he’d hidden from Steve.

Eventually, Steve tired himself out enough that he stopped and sat, his legs crossed in front of him. “Well?”

“Well what?” Danny replied.

“You’d rather spend Valentine’s Day with Amber than with me.”

“Is there gonna a be a point at which this is an actual conversation or are you gonna keep telling me what I do and why I do it?”

“Am I wrong?”

“Yeah, you are wrong.”

“Fine. Say whatever you wanna say.”

“You actually gonna listen or...”

“I’m listening! I’m sitting right here. Talk!”

“I’ve never hidden Amber from you. Ever. I told you every single time we went out. So it doesn’t feel fair that you’re angry at me about something I’ve been open about.”

“I know...I thought that the way things have been going with us that she was more on the friend-side of girlfriend, not take-her-out-on-Valentine’s-Day girlfriend.”

“And I told you I hadn’t made any plans yet, but you want to do your Lonely-hearts thing so I figured that meant you didn’t want me there.”

“Danny when do I ever not want you around? I thought that would be the best way for us to spend Valentine’s Day because you have Grace and we aren’t being...like that.. in front of her, so we could have everyone together and it wouldn’t seem so...”

“Wow. That’s...that’s more complicated than some of the undercover ops we pull. You wanted to have a party so we could spend Valentine’s Day together without looking like we’re spending Valentine’s Day together?”

“Well, when you say it like that...”

“You’re like the Fairy Godmother, wanting everyone to be able to go to the ball.” Danny’s eyes were soft and Steve crawled over to him.

“I don’t know what that means.” Steve knelt in front of Danny and rested his arms on Danny’s bent knees as he still sat in the corner.

“Cinderella? You don’t know about the Fairy Godmother?”

“Is that the movie with the slave girl who talks to rodents?”

Danny laughed, “Yeah, though don’t ever describe it that way to Grace. Cinderella is one of her favorites.”

“Maybe I can get her to watch it with me.” Steve said.

Danny clasped hold of Steve’s wrists, rubbing them with his thumb. “Babe, I’m fine doing the barbecue thing, and maybe it’s time for me to talk with Amber and reset the parameters of our relationship. But first, I feel I owe it to her to spend some time with her. Y’know?”

“Yeah, OK.” Steve stood up and pulled Danny to a stand and hugged him. “Will this ever get easier?”

“It’s bound to, right? When we’re ready.”

“I feel ready.” Steve said.

“I’m almost there too.” Danny reassured him.

* * *

**Go easy on her.**

**She lied Steve**   
****

**And that’s not a good thing. But she’s also not done this before. Give her a chance to talk.**

Danny shoved his phone back in his pocket as he neared the ice cream shop. He didn’t want Steve’s parenting advice right now...

That’s when he saw her. He wanted to be mad...but seeing her there, smiling, having fun...just being a kid...he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t embarrass her like that.

He pulled out his phone and texted Steve.

**Where are you now?**

**Almost home, actually.**

**I’ll meet you there.**

**Gracie OK?**

**Yeah.**

**You OK?**

Steve waited for the dots to show. After a minute he called.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Danny was sitting in his car, trying not to watch the door to the ice cream shop as if he was on a stake out.

“Bullshit. You left here on a mission and now you’re...I don’t even know what you’re doing. Did you see her? What did she say?”

“She didn’t say anything because she doesn’t know I was there.”

“You changed your mind?”

“Not about her lying to me. But...they were just sitting there, talking, laughing. She looked happy.”

“She’s a bright kid, Danny. You’ve done a good job of raising her.”

“She still lied.”

Steve took in a breath. “And that’s probably not the last time that will happen.”

“Not helping, asshole.” Danny groused.

“It’s not an endorsement. Just saying that lying to your parents is a thing teenagers do.

“Not my teenager. At least, I don’t want that to be the case.” Danny started the car. “Steve, I’m gonna head home instead. I think I just need to deal with this for myself tonight.”

“You sure?” Steve was trying for honesty but felt he’d let Danny down somehow.

“Yeah. I’ll call you later.”

* * *

After dinner, Grace was sitting in the sand on the beach, watching the sunset. Steve sat next to her.

“Heard you had a date.”

She gave him a puzzled look. “No, I didn’t. I’m not old enough to date.”

“You went out with a boy right? Why isn’t that a date?”

“He’s just a friend.” She deflected as she glanced around to see if Danno was near by.

“So, a friend date then.”

“Sure. A friend date.” She pushed her toes into the sand.

“A friend date you felt you had to lie to Danno about.” Steve pushed.

“I told him I was sorry.” She insisted.

“I know. And he knows. I’m just wondering why you lied.”

“I don’t know.”

“I think you do.”

“He doesn’t want me to grow up. He makes me feel like I’m hurting him somehow just by getting older.”

Steve felt a wave of pity for her. “Oh, Gracie, you’re not hurting him by growing up. Don’t think like that.”

“I don’t want to stay a kid forever. I want to be an adult.”

“And adults want you to stay a kid, right?”

“Pretty much.” She sighed and wrapped her arms around her knees.

“I think what adults want is for kids to appreciate how special being young is. Except, when we were young, we didn’t appreciate it either. When you’re a kid, you think being an adult means freedom. But once you get here and you’re saddled with a job, a house, a marriage...you look back on the days you were a kid and never had to worry about those things, and that feels like the real freedom.”

“I guess. I know I shouldn’t have lied. And knowing that he knew and didn’t yell or get mad or anything...”

“Oh, he got mad. This time I got to hear him be mad instead of you. And we both know he can yell. So I certainly wouldn’t advocate for trying it again. But maybe you can give him the benefit of the doubt in the future. Allow for him to even be upset but still be wiling to talk, y’know?”

“Yeah.” She leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder.

“So, is he cute?”

“Who?” She sat up, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Mr. Ice Cream Boy.”

Her face blushed.

“Nevermind. That face tells me everything I need to know.”

“Uncle Steve!” She covered her face in her hands.

“Alright, fine. No more questions from me. But if he wants to go have ice cream again, you need to let your dad and I meet him. OK?”

“OK.” It wasn’t lost on her that Uncle Steve was insisting on meeting him too. It was starting to feel like she had two dads. Three, if she counted Stan, which she didn’t.

Grace looked up and saw Danno walking over to them. “Time to head home, Monkey.”

Nodding, she hugged Steve. “Happy Valentine’s Day Uncle Steve.” Turning to Danny she said, “I have to get my shoes.”

As she ran back to the house, Steve stood up. “Call me later?”

“Of course. You and she have a nice talk?”

“I told her if text-boy asks her to ice cream again we have to meet him.”

“We have to meet him?” Danny asked with a smile.

“Of course. I’m your wing man on this.”

“My wing man? Really? Or maybe it’s that trusting the boy in an actual dating scenario isn’t as easy as it sounds?”

“Yeah, maybe that too.” Steve pulled Danny into a quick hug. “Happy I-Heart-You Day, babe.”

“Right back at ya.”


	46. S5: E 16 Nanahu (Embers)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny takes Amber for a weekend away, which Steve is trying not to complain about, when Amber’s past prove life-threatening for Danny and panic-inducing for Steve.

> ”What did I tell you? Huh? Huh? What did I say?” _Kill him. Kill him. Kill. Kill. Kill._
> 
> “Look at me. Look at me. Look.” _Kill him. He deserves it. Do it for Matty. Kill. Kill._
> 
> _The trigger pulls. Who pulled the trigger? Did I pull the trigger?_
> 
> “Danny.”
> 
> _Steve? Steve, where are you? Where am I? Steve? Steve, did I....what did I do? Steve?_

Danny opened his eyes, panicked. _Where the fuck am I?_ He sat up and looked over, expecting to see Steve...and he sees Amber. _Where is Steve?_ Everything floods back in an instant and he remembers where he is and why. Their weekend away. At Duke’s uncle’s place. His shoulder’s sagged as he ran his fingers through his hair. He could feel the wetness, so he went to bathroom and washed the sweat from his face and neck. He looked at himself in the mirror. His skin was splotchy and his stubble rough. If he wasn’t holding on other counter, he knew his hands would be shaking.

This hadn’t happened for several weeks. Why now?

He looked down. He knew why. The anxiety of his subconscious was being triggered because he knew he wasn’t as safe here. Steve wasn’t here. He didn’t sleep with Steve every night of course. Weeks he had Grace, he would go days without Steve in his bed.

_But at home he’s nearby. If you call, he’ll be there._

“Shut-up brain.” He whispered to himself. Walking quietly back into the bedroom, he put on shorts and a shirt before heading out to the kitchen. After taking a couple ibuprofen, he decided to go lay in the hammock because it was slightly cooler outside.

As he watched the surf, he sent a text.

**You up? Had a nightmare. Haven’t had one in a while.**

It was close to 0100, but he wasn’t sure Steve would be up, so his text was a shot in the dark. About 5 minutes later that he got a text back.

**Up now. How bad was it?**

**Pretty bad. Disoriented me pretty good at first. Sorry to wake you up.**

His phone lit up with Steve’s name and he answered the call. “Hey, babe.”

“How are you?”

“I’m OK.”

“You sure?” Steve wished he had Danny next to him so he could see for himself.

“Yeah. Talking helps.”

“Tell me about it then.”

“Mostly, it was just reliving...what I did.”

“And?” Steve asked quietly.

“And I just have to carry it. I can’t undo it. I know I’d do it again. I told you long ago that there’s real darkness in me. This is what that looks like.”

“Danny...you don’t have to carry it alone. All of us have been where you are.”

“Kono hasn’t.”

“That we know of.” Steve answered. He didn’t know of anything for sure, but there were months when she was with Delano and none of them knew what she had to do. He did know all of them had killed people in the course of their duty, they just compartmentalized it differently.

“But none of you, not even Chin, are like me. Have done the things I’ve done.”

“At some point, you have to forgive yourself.”

“Actually, no I don’t. And I don’t think I should.”

“You’re wrong, but I’m too tired for a theological or psychological debate with you. I forgive you, if that matters.”

Danny swayed in the hammock, his throat feeling thick. “Thank-you, babe. You know, I can’t help but wonder if I had the nightmare because you’re not here.”

“Hey, if staving off nightmares drives you to my bed every night, I’ll personally call Freddy Kruger and give him your name.”

“You’re a sadistic motherfucker, you know that.”

“I’ve heard rumors.” Steve chuckled. “How are things going with Amber?”

“Uh, OK. We haven’t had a chance to talk yet but I will talk to her tomorrow, I promise.”

“Hey, talking to her is not coming from me. I told you I would accept what you decide.”

“But you definitely have a preferred outcome, as Freddy Kruger can attest.” Danny said wryly.

“Ok, yes, I have a preferred outcome. But I have no ground to demand it.”

A definite part of Danny wished Steve would demand it. So many things would be easier if he did. On the other hand, he wasn’t demanding it either, so he can’t blame Steve.

“Danny? You there?” Steve asked.

“Yeah. Guess I’m kinda far in my head.”

“I know how to get you out of your head.” That came out more seductive than he meant.

“Uh, not the head I was talking about, babe.”

“But if you were here, I’m certain I could make you feel better.”

“Yeah, you would. I’ll be home day after tomorrow.”

“For the first time ever, I’m gonna own up to it; I’m jealous that she’s there with you and not me.”

“She’s not right here. I’m outside in the hammock.” Danny could envision the smug look on Steve’s face. “That makes you happy doesn’t it? In your twisted little, messed up mind, it makes you happy that even though she’s here, I called you.”

Steve couldn’t suppress a smile. “Doesn’t make me unhappy.”

“Alright, Superman. Time for both us to get to sleep. Sorry I woke you up.”

“Don’t be sorry. You know I’ll happily wake up to you any time.”

“You’re a flirt, you know that?”

“Don’t you slut-shame me.” Steve teased.

“Good night, Steve.”

“Night, Danno.”

* * *

Danny felt the Camaro jolt over the body, sending waves of pain up his spine and he struggled to remain conscious.

“Amber...we gotta...”, he stopped to catch his breath.

“I’m so sorry Danny! I’m so sorry!” She sobbed as she sped down the narrow road that led back to the two-lane highway.

“Amber! We gotta get our...our stories...”

“Don’t try to talk. Oh my god! Danny? Oh my god!”

Danny reached over and took her hand. “I need you...you gotta listen.”

“OK. I’m listening.”

“He ran in front of the car... and you hit him.” He paused to take a few breaths. “You never stopped...you hear me? You never stopped.”

“Danny what are you....”

“Listen! He ran out...you hit him...you never stopped. Say it.”

It was finally dawning on her what he was doing. “Oh God! Danny! What did I...”

“Say it!” He squeezed her hand hard, trying to make her focus.

“He ran out and I couldn’t stop. I hit him and kept driving so I could get you to the hospital. I never stopped.” She was sobbing.

“Good girl.” He closed his eyes. Everything hurt. He tried to stay conscious enough to pull his phone out and dial Steve.

“Take this.” He handed her the phone and his arm went lax.

“Danny! Oh God. Danny?!”

“McGarrett.” Steve’s voice was alarmed and she looked at the phone, bringing it to her ear.

“Steve? It’s Melissa. Danny’s been stabbed”

“What? When?”

She started to cry. “About 15 minute ago. I’m driving back toward town but I don’t...I don’t know where to go.”

“Is he bleeding out?”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“Look between his legs or on the floor. Is there a pool of blood?”

She is speeding pretty fast so she glanced quickly, scared to take her eyes off the road for too long. “No. But he’s not talking to me. I can’t...” She started to sob again.

“Melissa, listen to me. Put the phone on the dash and check his pulse. At his neck, a few inches below his ear, push up under his jaw.”

She set the phone on the dash in front of her and reached over. It took her a few moments to find because her hand was at a funny angle, but she felt it. A wave of relief washed over her and she grabbed the phone.

“I felt his pulse.”

“OK. Where is the stab wound?”

“It’s...uh...it’s in his belly.”

Steve closed his eyes, lifting up a small prayer that there wasn’t too much damage. “Melissa, listen. Pull over. Wherever you are, you gotta get some pressure on that wound.”

She put the phone on speaker as she climbed out. “Whoa, I had no idea this stuff was in here.” She looked at the shotgun mounted to the back panel, along with metal lock boxes and two soft-sided totes, one blue and one red.

“Open the red bag. Pull out the large gauze pads and an ace bandage.”

“Got ‘em.”

“OK. Pile on all the gauze you can over the wound and wrap the ace bandage around him to hold them in place.”

“Uh, his shirt is stuck in it.”

Steve clenched his fist. “You gotta pull it out. Don’t put your fingers in, but get as much of his shirt out of the wound as you can.”

“Is this gonna hurt him?”

“Probably, yes. Just keep talking to him.” He heard Danny cry out and he felt a tear fall on his cheek but stayed focused. Melissa’s voice echoed in his ear.

“I’m so sorry Danny. Try to hold still, OK? Help’s on the way.”

“Where’s Steve?”

“He’s on the phone, telling me what to do. OK? Danny? Danny?” She felt for his pulse and it was still there.

Into the phone she said, “He passed out again but the gauze is on.”

“Good job. I’m tracking his car now. You need to get to Tripler Army Hospital. I’m sending the directions to Danny’s phone.”

She clicked the text and it opened the directions app. “I got them. It says I will be there in 18 minutes.”

“OK. I’ll meet you there.”

* * *

Steve walked with Melissa back to the waiting room and sat down. “Tell me what happened.” He listened as she laid it all out, including that she had run over Frank Simpson with the Camaro as she sped off with an injured Danny. She started to cry as she told that part and he rubbed her back.

“You did what you had to do. I’ll have a team go out there and see if we can find him.”

“Commander?” A nurse entered the waiting room and Steve stood up. “Detective Williams is asking for you.”

“I’ll be right there.” He turned to Melissa. “I’ll be right back and then you can see him. OK?”

She nodded as silent tears continued to fall.

Once in the room, Danny waited until the nurse had left. “Hey babe.” Danny whispered.

Steve pulled a chair up close. “How you feelin’, partner?”

“Like I’ve been stabbed. Who was it?”

“His name was Frank Simpson. He put Melissa in the hospital back in New York.”

Danny’s face furrowed. “I thought I heard her call herself that but then wondered if it was a dream.”

“No dream. A violent ex-husband.”

“She ran him over.”

“She told me.”

“No, she ran him over. As we left, he stood in front of the car, blocking the road, so she hit him. He flew up and then landed across the road. Then she ran over him.”

“Shit.”

“You gotta fix it. I told her...” Danny closed his eyes and wheezed. “I told her to say he ran in front and she couldn’t stop and that she kept going to get me to the hospital.”

“Well, that’s exactly what she told me.”

“You gotta fix it...with Max.”

“Just relax, babe. I’ll handle it. She’s waiting for you. You up for visitors?”

“Yeah. Steve?”

Steve leaned closer and Danny cupped the side of his face, pulling him closer. Steve needed no further prodding and kissed him, gently at first but the hunger in Danny urged him on, tongues sparring and lips suckled. The hot, pressure at his groin was a welcome discomfort because it meant Danny was alive. He was here and kissing him and he would heal and Steve silently offered his prayer of gratitude.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick update: My RL work is ramping up as my state is starting to re-open. My goal now is a chapter every two weeks, hopefully every week. Thank-you everyone for your patience and encouragement!!


End file.
